Update from Hector

[HBS60]

Update

I haven’t posted in several days and stopped responding to comments because I’ve been simply too emotionally and physically exhausted and could not keep up.

The Camino took every ounce of strength from me and I’ve been depressed, not because I’m longing to return to it, but because I can’t keep putting up a brave, positive front while feeling drained inside.

I’m glad that I did it and that I got to finish it, I enjoyed the gorgeous views and I feel good that I was able to deal with several challenges, but I think maybe I pushed myself too hard and ran out of dopamine/cortisol/whatever other hormones involved in the stress response. Coming home to clean up after a hurricane, and then having to go through another one didn’t help, either.

Paradoxically, the Camino stirred up lots of issues that are very personal and I prefer to keep private, and I’ve been struggling with unexpected anger and negativity about my failures in these areas, which I don’t want to bring to this board as I think they not appropriate for this venue. I believe that, at least for now, I should take a break, let things process themselves, and I might consider returning to these boards in the future. This time of the year my depression tends to flare up and I’m trying to stave off an emotional relapse.

Thank you all for the support and feedback these past several months, it’s much appreciated and I remain grateful.

Blessings to all!

Hector

 

[VNwalking]

Take care, Hector. Two hurricanes in a row can't be doing your state of mind any good, either. Been thinking of you and hope you (and that piano!) came through it all undamaged.

 

[dreaming]

Hi Hector, congratulations on completing your camino. I needed a week resting and sleeping in my own bed after last year's CF let alone coping with two hurricanes. Thanks for all your posts. Best wishes.

 

[trecile]

Take care of yourself Héctor.
You have enough on your plate after dealing with Helene and Milton!

At this point, I suggest that you don't try to "process" your Camino. Let thoughts of it naturally occur, but don't dwell on them. On one hand, it's a huge accomplishment (you completed it when many don't!), but on the other it was just a long walk. It's important to put it into perspective.

Taking a break from the forum is probably healthy for you right now.

Wishing you the best.

 

[C clearly]

Best wishes, Hector!

 

[dougfitz]

Take care, Hector. I enjoyed following your journey. Looking after yourself should always be more important than anything else. I am just glad you were able to share with us, and will look forward to seeing you again should another Camino be in your future.

 

[BarbaraW]

Take care Hector, and thank you.

 

[Bristle Boy]

Hector,
I read many posts from members on this forum and leave many others unread.....I read yours.
I can only agree with many responses you have had.
You may not think this at the moment but I think you are amazing....simply awesome.
Rest yourself and recover.
Much love from the West Country of the UK.

 

[Camo]

I’m glad that I did it and that I got to finish it,

Yes a lot of people have done it and finished it but you were the only one that gave us a daily account of the nitty gritty that surrounds that effort and especially for me a digital trail that was invaluable to me in finally completing my virtual tour of the Frances.

That can now be used by others out there in CaminoLand as either a virtual tour or as a guide to an actual tour, as needed so I thank you greatly.

 

[BRSmith13]

Update

I haven’t posted in several days and stopped responding to comments because I’ve been simply too emotionally and physically exhausted and could not keep up.

The Camino took every ounce of strength from me and I’ve been depressed, not because I’m longing to return to it, but because I can’t keep putting up a brave, positive front while feeling drained inside.

I’m glad that I did it and that I got to finish it, I enjoyed the gorgeous views and I feel good that I was able to deal with several challenges, but I think maybe I pushed myself too hard and ran out of dopamine/cortisol/whatever other hormones involved in the stress response. Coming home to clean up after a hurricane, and then having to go through another one didn’t help, either.

Paradoxically, the Camino stirred up lots of issues that are very personal and I prefer to keep private, and I’ve been struggling with unexpected anger and negativity about my failures in these areas, which I don’t want to bring to this board as I think they not appropriate for this venue. I believe that, at least for now, I should take a break, let things process themselves, and I might consider returning to these boards in the future. This time of the year my depression tends to flare up and I’m trying to stave off an emotional relapse.

Thank you all for the support and feedback these past several months, it’s much appreciated and I remain grateful.

Blessings to all!

Hector

Hector, to a fellow Floridian, I understand the stress from all the hurricane chaos. Please put your health issues in the forefront and know there are LOTS of people who care about you and appreciate your sage advice over the years. God bless you.

 

[Septarian]

Update

I haven’t posted in several days and stopped responding to comments because I’ve been simply too emotionally and physically exhausted and could not keep up.

The Camino took every ounce of strength from me and I’ve been depressed, not because I’m longing to return to it, but because I can’t keep putting up a brave, positive front while feeling drained inside.

I’m glad that I did it and that I got to finish it, I enjoyed the gorgeous views and I feel good that I was able to deal with several challenges, but I think maybe I pushed myself too hard and ran out of dopamine/cortisol/whatever other hormones involved in the stress response. Coming home to clean up after a hurricane, and then having to go through another one didn’t help, either.

Paradoxically, the Camino stirred up lots of issues that are very personal and I prefer to keep private, and I’ve been struggling with unexpected anger and negativity about my failures in these areas, which I don’t want to bring to this board as I think they not appropriate for this venue. I believe that, at least for now, I should take a break, let things process themselves, and I might consider returning to these boards in the future. This time of the year my depression tends to flare up and I’m trying to stave off an emotional relapse.

Thank you all for the support and feedback these past several months, it’s much appreciated and I remain grateful.

Blessings to all!

Hector

Good thoughts to you Hector. You are valiant.

 

[bullingtonce]

Update

I haven’t posted in several days and stopped responding to comments because I’ve been simply too emotionally and physically exhausted and could not keep up.

The Camino took every ounce of strength from me and I’ve been depressed, not because I’m longing to return to it, but because I can’t keep putting up a brave, positive front while feeling drained inside.

I’m glad that I did it and that I got to finish it, I enjoyed the gorgeous views and I feel good that I was able to deal with several challenges, but I think maybe I pushed myself too hard and ran out of dopamine/cortisol/whatever other hormones involved in the stress response. Coming home to clean up after a hurricane, and then having to go through another one didn’t help, either.

Paradoxically, the Camino stirred up lots of issues that are very personal and I prefer to keep private, and I’ve been struggling with unexpected anger and negativity about my failures in these areas, which I don’t want to bring to this board as I think they not appropriate for this venue. I believe that, at least for now, I should take a break, let things process themselves, and I might consider returning to these boards in the future. This time of the year my depression tends to flare up and I’m trying to stave off an emotional relapse.

Thank you all for the support and feedback these past several months, it’s much appreciated and I remain grateful.

Blessings to all!

Hector

Hector,
Even though you will probably not read this, you have been a blessing to so many Camino folks. Even I was saying to myself, "Where is that darn Hector? I am waiting and NEED to see his next post.
So, someone in the universe seems to be testing you--after-effect of the Camino, two, not one, hurricanes, and now depression. Boy, when the guy upstairs piles on, He really piles on.

I am NOT a psychologist, but by bringing out to the Camino public forum the depression that has reared its ugly head, you have already taken the first step toward recovery and better health. And, if I may be so bold, perhaps this means you need to give a thank you to the upstairs man because this depression he rained down on you is a blessing disguise; otherwise, your 'past issues' are now being addressed. God has blessed you in so many ways in this regard.

I personally had to confront some issues and this was after decades of ignoring them. Confrontation took place and it was succesful. My issues existed, for darn sure, but they now have, almost, not one iota of bearing and influence on my current life. They sure as hell existed but they are dead and buried as they should be and I have the proper and objective perspective on them. This was a journey though and took some time as it will for you, but you can end a journey if you do not take the first step, which you are doing.

Your forum writing style is superb, conversationally superb. You ought to consider being a blogger in this regard. I am serious. I waited for your next post with bated-breath. And you did finally post! Cool.

This Camino you did was, apparently, a catalyst for what is going on in your life and as daunting as it is you are blessed twice over. You finished your Camino and now you are starting another Camino, albeit a figurative-type Camino.

May God bless your new journey (in fact, He already has because Inspired you to take these first steps). I can safely say you are already in the healing process and this new Camino will be a successful one. From my personal experience, successfully completing such a journey makes a difference in one's life that is as different as night and day.

Godspeed on, Hector!

Chuck

 

[jfgough]

Update

I haven’t posted in several days and stopped responding to comments because I’ve been simply too emotionally and physically exhausted and could not keep up.

The Camino took every ounce of strength from me and I’ve been depressed, not because I’m longing to return to it, but because I can’t keep putting up a brave, positive front while feeling drained inside.

I’m glad that I did it and that I got to finish it, I enjoyed the gorgeous views and I feel good that I was able to deal with several challenges, but I think maybe I pushed myself too hard and ran out of dopamine/cortisol/whatever other hormones involved in the stress response. Coming home to clean up after a hurricane, and then having to go through another one didn’t help, either.

Paradoxically, the Camino stirred up lots of issues that are very personal and I prefer to keep private, and I’ve been struggling with unexpected anger and negativity about my failures in these areas, which I don’t want to bring to this board as I think they not appropriate for this venue. I believe that, at least for now, I should take a break, let things process themselves, and I might consider returning to these boards in the future. This time of the year my depression tends to flare up and I’m trying to stave off an emotional relapse.

Thank you all for the support and feedback these past several months, it’s much appreciated and I remain grateful.

Blessings to all!

Hector

Self care brother. Wishing you peace and safety through all that you are dealing with.

 

[Ellann]

Update

I haven’t posted in several days and stopped responding to comments because I’ve been simply too emotionally and physically exhausted and could not keep up.

The Camino took every ounce of strength from me and I’ve been depressed, not because I’m longing to return to it, but because I can’t keep putting up a brave, positive front while feeling drained inside.

I’m glad that I did it and that I got to finish it, I enjoyed the gorgeous views and I feel good that I was able to deal with several challenges, but I think maybe I pushed myself too hard and ran out of dopamine/cortisol/whatever other hormones involved in the stress response. Coming home to clean up after a hurricane, and then having to go through another one didn’t help, either.

Paradoxically, the Camino stirred up lots of issues that are very personal and I prefer to keep private, and I’ve been struggling with unexpected anger and negativity about my failures in these areas, which I don’t want to bring to this board as I think they not appropriate for this venue. I believe that, at least for now, I should take a break, let things process themselves, and I might consider returning to these boards in the future. This time of the year my depression tends to flare up and I’m trying to stave off an emotional relapse.

Thank you all for the support and feedback these past several months, it’s much appreciated and I remain grateful.

Blessings to all!

Hector

Thank you for being so honest about the struggles both physically and emotionally.

 

[Sue127]

Wishing you a calmer future: it sounds as though you deserve it after your exploits.

 

[Getwood]

Even having failed to complete my CF (there's always next year!) you were an inspiration to me, and for that I thank you. Rest up and be well. Ultreia!

 

[Camino Chrissy]

So many forum members rallied around you, Hector because you were open about your insecurities before you left home. You were then encouraged along the way. Now you are being offered understanding and comfort by many as you pick up your life back home and work to process all you went through. Reading so many uplifting and compassionate responses has been special to me so I say thank you for your transparency that produced so many positive reactions from this forum community.

 

[HBS60]

I haven’t read the responses to this thread until now. I’m blown away by the love and support here and elsewhere in this board. I’m humbled.
Thanks from the bottom of my heart. It makes such a difference!