Update from Hector

[HBS60]

Update

I haven’t posted in several days and stopped responding to comments because I’ve been simply too emotionally and physically exhausted and could not keep up.

The Camino took every ounce of strength from me and I’ve been depressed, not because I’m longing to return to it, but because I can’t keep putting up a brave, positive front while feeling drained inside.

I’m glad that I did it and that I got to finish it, I enjoyed the gorgeous views and I feel good that I was able to deal with several challenges, but I think maybe I pushed myself too hard and ran out of dopamine/cortisol/whatever other hormones involved in the stress response. Coming home to clean up after a hurricane, and then having to go through another one didn’t help, either.

Paradoxically, the Camino stirred up lots of issues that are very personal and I prefer to keep private, and I’ve been struggling with unexpected anger and negativity about my failures in these areas, which I don’t want to bring to this board as I think they not appropriate for this venue. I believe that, at least for now, I should take a break, let things process themselves, and I might consider returning to these boards in the future. This time of the year my depression tends to flare up and I’m trying to stave off an emotional relapse.

Thank you all for the support and feedback these past several months, it’s much appreciated and I remain grateful.

Blessings to all!

Hector

 

[VNwalking]

Take care, Hector. Two hurricanes in a row can't be doing your state of mind any good, either. Been thinking of you and hope you (and that piano!) came through it all undamaged.

 

[dreaming]

Hi Hector, congratulations on completing your camino. I needed a week resting and sleeping in my own bed after last year's CF let alone coping with two hurricanes. Thanks for all your posts. Best wishes.

 

[trecile]

Take care of yourself Héctor.
You have enough on your plate after dealing with Helene and Milton!

At this point, I suggest that you don't try to "process" your Camino. Let thoughts of it naturally occur, but don't dwell on them. On one hand, it's a huge accomplishment (you completed it when many don't!), but on the other it was just a long walk. It's important to put it into perspective.

Taking a break from the forum is probably healthy for you right now.

Wishing you the best.

 

[C clearly]

Best wishes, Hector!

 

[dougfitz]

Take care, Hector. I enjoyed following your journey. Looking after yourself should always be more important than anything else. I am just glad you were able to share with us, and will look forward to seeing you again should another Camino be in your future.

 

[BarbaraW]

Take care Hector, and thank you.

 

[Bristle Boy]

Hector,
I read many posts from members on this forum and leave many others unread.....I read yours.
I can only agree with many responses you have had.
You may not think this at the moment but I think you are amazing....simply awesome.
Rest yourself and recover.
Much love from the West Country of the UK.