The Camino Heals - delayed realisations post two Caminos

[TaraWalks]

Sometimes you realise the Camino has given you something quite amazing some time after you finished.

I've only done two Caminos so far, both times the Frances and only once to Finisterre. It started something in me and now I all I can think of is doing another one.

Before I found the Camino, I was into other things. I skateboarded (I still do), I played in bands (I still do too) and my dream was to tour and tour and tour. It never happened. Well, I toured enough to get me hooked and then it all ended (another story).

For so long it wrenched my heart and I felt so terribly unfulfilled. I would do my day job (I was a music teacher and then became a physiotherapist) and going in every day felt (and still feels) like a life sentence. I dreamed of being on the road forever. Maybe I'm just an escapist.

But the other day something dawned on me.

My anguish and lack of fulfilment have visited me less and less since starting my Camino Dreams in 2015. As I plan and dream, I think less of the tour buses, late nights, countless cigarettes, hangovers and trash talk and more of tortilla, cafe con leche, beautiful sunrises, history and Camino Family.

I dream of ultimate packing lists, finding the most appropriate layer combinations and am constantly pondering which route I want to do next. I think less of the heckling, sleazy hangers on and unsolicited instructions on how to play my instrument.

I've become a Camino Botherer. I extol the virtues of walking long distances to clear the mind and state that a Camino is for anyone who prefers the journey to the destination. I praise the concept of just checking out for a while. It is soothing and challenging all at once.

I am fitter than I have ever been, no longer smoke and am trying to incorporate more hiking into my life. It doesn't come close to a Camino but Shinrin-Yoku is close enough while I dream about walking Le Puy to Pamplona and then maybe the Norte +/- the Primitivo. I want to see Finisterre again and soak my feet at Muxia, place another stone at Cruz de Ferro and attend another Pilgrim mass at the Cathedral.

Honestly, I haven't dreamed of the sweat soaked, bombastic, alcohol fuelled band circuit for a while and to not do so is healing both physically and emotionally.

So here's to all Caminos. Whether you end at SDC or you start somewhere else far away, these experiences change your life for the better. Without this, I would probably be a lot less fulfilled and a lot less healthy - in every way. Camino Dreaming keeps my dreams alive and that means a lot.

Tara

 

[Mark Di Marzio]

I really enjoyed reading this . You have an interesting & unique way of expressing yourself . I've walked 3 caminos and have also been involved in bands etc .. the Camino is a pretty special life experience .i reckon you will walk a few more caminos and ..who knows .. maybe even write a book on your experiences and impressions ! I wish you well Tara !

 

[kay lee]

I echo Mark's astute observation. I see a very interesting book ahead. You have expressed the Camino feelings, even the ones that I thought were kind of mundane (tortilla, cafe con leche), in such a special way, now I'm ready for another one. Thank you!

 

[david marquez]

Sometimes you realise the Camino has given you something quite amazing some time after you finished.

I've only done two Caminos so far, both times the Frances and only once to Finisterre. It started something in me and now I all I can think of is doing another one.

Before I found the Camino, I was into other things. I skateboarded (I still do), I played in bands (I still do too) and my dream was to tour and tour and tour. It never happened. Well, I toured enough to get me hooked and then it all ended (another story).

For so long it wrenched my heart and I felt so terribly unfulfilled. I would do my day job (I was a music teacher and then became a physiotherapist) and going in every day felt (and still feels) like a life sentence. I dreamed of being on the road forever. Maybe I'm just an escapist.

But the other day something dawned on me.

My anguish and lack of fulfilment have visited me less and less since starting my Camino Dreams in 2015. As I plan and dream, I think less of the tour buses, late nights, countless cigarettes, hangovers and trash talk and more of tortilla, cafe con leche, beautiful sunrises, history and Camino Family.

I dream of ultimate packing lists, finding the most appropriate layer combinations and am constantly pondering which route I want to do next. I think less of the heckling, sleazy hangers on and unsolicited instructions on how to play my instrument.

I've become a Camino Botherer. I extol the virtues of walking long distances to clear the mind and state that a Camino is for anyone who prefers the journey to the destination. I praise the concept of just checking out for a while. It is soothing and challenging all at once.

I am fitter than I have ever been, no longer smoke and am trying to incorporate more hiking into my life. It doesn't come close to a Camino but Shinrin-Yoku is close enough while I dream about walking Le Puy to Pamplona and then maybe the Norte +/- the Primitivo. I want to see Finisterre again and soak my feet at Muxia, place another stone at Cruz de Ferro and attend another Pilgrim mass at the Cathedral.

Honestly, I haven't dreamed of the sweat soaked, bombastic, alcohol fuelled band circuit for a while and to not do so is healing both physically and emotionally.

So here's to all Caminos. Whether you end at SDC or you start somewhere else far away, these experiences change your life for the better. Without this, I would probably be a lot less fulfilled and a lot less healthy - in every way. Camino Dreaming keeps my dreams alive and that means a lot.

Tara

Well said fellow Peregrino/Peregrina! Although the details differ the story remains much the same for me.

 

[TaraWalks]

I really enjoyed reading this . You have an interesting & unique way of expressing yourself . I've walked 3 caminos and have also been involved in bands etc .. the Camino is a pretty special life experience .i reckon you will walk a few more caminos and ..who knows .. maybe even write a book on your experiences and impressions ! I wish you well Tara !

Thanks, I'm glad you like it! Never thought about writing a book but now you mention it...

 

[TaraWalks]

I echo Mark's astute observation. I see a very interesting book ahead. You have expressed the Camino feelings, even the ones that I thought were kind of mundane (tortilla, cafe con leche), in such a special way, now I'm ready for another one. Thank you!

Yes it's the mundane that makes it for me. It's just so wholesome in comparison! Thanks for your kind words

 

[TaraWalks]

Well said fellow Peregrino/Peregrina! Although the details differ the story remains much the same for me.

It's funny how the story can be the same but we all walk for so many different reasons

 

[The Little Flower]

Think you ‘struck. Few cords’ with this entry Tara. I feel sometimes something so similar...restless and the call of the road constantly. A good read. I’m on the Primitivo at the moment, at Casa Herminia listening to a load of Spaniards argue over a table of cards while I sip a vino Tinto waiting for my peregrina meal to arrive. Feeling the what’s it all about, wondering will the answers come as I hope to slog up the hospitales tomoz wishing I hadn’t packed a towel or fleece, Right now I don’t know what I m doing here. I needed this challenge to remind me I’m alive and able? Maybe.
It’s a bit like life doable as long as your In It... believe me I’m convincing myself here not anyone else. I hope I’ll find some answers either now or later but for now I’m In It. Moving towards Berducedo and Galicia and hopefully Santiago. Slow as a snail but getting there. One step at a time. I think I can. Buen Camino

 

[MartinPE]

Sometimes you realise the Camino has given you something quite amazing some time after you finished.

I've only done two Caminos so far, both times the Frances and only once to Finisterre. It started something in me and now I all I can think of is doing another one.

Before I found the Camino, I was into other things. I skateboarded (I still do), I played in bands (I still do too) and my dream was to tour and tour and tour. It never happened. Well, I toured enough to get me hooked and then it all ended (another story).

For so long it wrenched my heart and I felt so terribly unfulfilled. I would do my day job (I was a music teacher and then became a physiotherapist) and going in every day felt (and still feels) like a life sentence. I dreamed of being on the road forever. Maybe I'm just an escapist.

But the other day something dawned on me.

My anguish and lack of fulfilment have visited me less and less since starting my Camino Dreams in 2015. As I plan and dream, I think less of the tour buses, late nights, countless cigarettes, hangovers and trash talk and more of tortilla, cafe con leche, beautiful sunrises, history and Camino Family.

I dream of ultimate packing lists, finding the most appropriate layer combinations and am constantly pondering which route I want to do next. I think less of the heckling, sleazy hangers on and unsolicited instructions on how to play my instrument.

I've become a Camino Botherer. I extol the virtues of walking long distances to clear the mind and state that a Camino is for anyone who prefers the journey to the destination. I praise the concept of just checking out for a while. It is soothing and challenging all at once.

I am fitter than I have ever been, no longer smoke and am trying to incorporate more hiking into my life. It doesn't come close to a Camino but Shinrin-Yoku is close enough while I dream about walking Le Puy to Pamplona and then maybe the Norte +/- the Primitivo. I want to see Finisterre again and soak my feet at Muxia, place another stone at Cruz de Ferro and attend another Pilgrim mass at the Cathedral.

Honestly, I haven't dreamed of the sweat soaked, bombastic, alcohol fuelled band circuit for a while and to not do so is healing both physically and emotionally.

So here's to all Caminos. Whether you end at SDC or you start somewhere else far away, these experiences change your life for the better. Without this, I would probably be a lot less fulfilled and a lot less healthy - in every way. Camino Dreaming keeps my dreams alive and that means a lot.

Tara

So many of your thoughts resonate.... . the journey.. much more than the destination... Francés was all about SJPDP to Cruze de Ferro... thereafter the two special nights in Finisterre...
Le Puy Route was wonderful .. but summer of 2019 ... it’s The Norte ...
planning the kit, clothes and historic places ... is gonna make the next 7 months bearable ...

Dream big ...

 

[TaraWalks]

Think you ‘struck. Few cords’ with this entry Tara. I feel sometimes something so similar...restless and the call of the road constantly. A good read. I’m on the Primitivo at the moment, at Casa Herminia listening to a load of Spaniards argue over a table of cards while I sip a vino Tinto waiting for my peregrina meal to arrive. Feeling the what’s it all about, wondering will the answers come as I hope to slog up the hospitales tomoz wishing I hadn’t packed a towel or fleece, Right now I don’t know what I m doing here. I needed this challenge to remind me I’m alive and able? Maybe.
It’s a bit like life doable as long as your In It... believe me I’m convincing myself here not anyone else. I hope I’ll find some answers either now or later but for now I’m In It. Moving towards Berducedo and Galicia and hopefully Santiago. Slow as a snail but getting there. One step at a time. I think I can. Buen Camino

Haha I see your pun! I am so envious of u right now. Currently sitting in my car, about to put my phone u der the seat as they dont allow phones where I work. (I work in a gaol believe it or not - maybe that's why I always want to escape!)Thankyou for your lovely words and Buen Camino!

 

[TaraWalks]

So many of your thoughts resonate.... . the journey.. much more than the destination... Francés was all about SJPDP to Cruze de Ferro... thereafter the two special nights in Finisterre...
Le Puy Route was wonderful .. but summer of 2019 ... it’s The Norte ...
planning the kit, clothes and historic places ... is gonna make the next 7 months bearable ...

Dream big ...

I always dream big! I wish I was at your stage of planning. I don't know if I can get the time off yet - here's hoping and here's to Camino Dreaming. Enjoy your trip and don't forget to post about it!

 

[Rj7797]

I've only been once but I spend a lot of time thinking about going back. As someone from the states and not close to retirement age it is a difficult task though. I am right there with you on the job feeling like a life sentence. I often rack my brain trying to come up with a method of income that fits my personality but would still leave ample time for traveling and camino. I enjoyed your post and hope we are both back on the camino someday soon.

 

[Kiwi-family]

I’m intrigued that “the mundane” is exciting on the Camino but a “life sentence” at home. I wonder if actively changing your perspective could change your perceptions?? Could you go to work each day wondering what special interaction you’ll have with clients (think of them as “ potential Camiño family” and you might find different expectations. Could you actively look for moments of beauty or things to be grateful for? Cultivating a life of gratitude definitely alters your outlook and may well provide your current life with a greater degree of satisfaction and meaning.

 

[nycwalking]

Lovely!

 

[VNwalking]

I'd say let the book rest and gestate @TaraWalks , as you slowly integrate this experience - any eventual book will be the better for it. The more you try to capture in words what the heart is now beginning to understand, the more it will recede - like chasing a rainbow.
The hardest thing is to take what comes on the Camino and bring it alive in the whole of life.
@Kiwi_family hits the nail on the head:

I’m intrigued that “the mundane” is exciting on the Camino but a “life sentence” at home. I wonder if actively changing your perspective could change your perceptions?? Could you go to work each day wondering what special interaction you’ll have with clients (think of them as “ potential Camiño family” and you might find different expectations. Could you actively look for moments of beauty or things to be grateful for? Cultivating a life of gratitude definitely alters your outlook and may well provide your current life with a greater degree of satisfaction and meaning.

You need some boundaries where you work, but there will be an opening someplace to find 'micro-camino moments.' Just walking from one place to another can do it if you are in the right space.
Buen camino de la vida!

 

[TaraWalks]

I’m intrigued that “the mundane” is exciting on the Camino but a “life sentence” at home. I wonder if actively changing your perspective could change your perceptions?? Could you go to work each day wondering what special interaction you’ll have with clients (think of them as “ potential Camiño family” and you might find different expectations. Could you actively look for moments of beauty or things to be grateful for? Cultivating a life of gratitude definitely alters your outlook and may well provide your current life with a greater degree of satisfaction and meaning.

Interestingly, I have only just become permanent in a job I have worked in casually for 2 years. I guess when I was casual (even though I was working a 40 hour week) I was able to take time off without applying hence the feeling of a life sentence now that I am a permanent staff member!

My Camino Family consists of the nurses, doctors and multidisciplinary team I work with every day. I can't really include the clients as they are prison inmates and boundaries must be strong here.

In saying that, gratitude is something I must practice every day for my own self care as prison is not easy. I can leave every day, my patients cannot. I am grateful for the good life I have had that has enabled me to stay on the correct side of the law.

As far as my life sentence goes, I can leave at anytime however my patients' needs are at the front of my mind. Going into work after doing"head miles" all night (that's a prison term) over their care can be overwhelming and they are needy when I see them. It's a tough job but it has its rewards.

Camino for me is time to check out, but not completely. I still left a stone at Cruz de Ferro for a patient who I felt I could've managed better.

Thanks for your points of wisdom and kind words

 

[TaraWalks]

I'd say let the book rest and gestate @TaraWalks , as you slowly integrate this experience - any eventual book will be the better for it. The more you try to capture in words what the heart is now beginning to understand, the more it will recede - like chasing a rainbow.
The hardest thing is to take what comes on the Camino and bring it alive in the whole of life.
@Kiwi_family hits the nail on the head:

You need some boundaries where you work, but there will be an opening someplace to find 'micro-camino moments.' Just walking from one place to another can do it if you are in the right space.
Buen camino de la vida!

So true! I practice mindfulness where I can. This week I am focusing on every time I undo a lock, I will be present. Easier said than done but I'm getting there

Thankyou for your wisdom and kind words

 

[TaraWalks]

I've only been once but I spend a lot of time thinking about going back. As someone from the states and not close to retirement age it is a difficult task though. I am right there with you on the job feeling like a life sentence. I often rack my brain trying to come up with a method of income that fits my personality but would still leave ample time for traveling and camino. I enjoyed your post and hope we are both back on the camino someday soon.

Thankyou! I too look for the side hustle that will allow me to travel. (I believe that may be winning the Lottery!)

 

[TaraWalks]

Lovely!

Thankyou!

 

[VNwalking]

Your process and courageous heart are so touching and inspiring, Tara.
And just so you don't discount it - the light you bring to your workplace from the Camino is no small thing.
All blessings on your way.
Ultreia!

 

[TaraWalks]

Your process and courageous heart are so touching and inspiring, Tara.
And just so you don't discount it - the light you bring to your workplace from the Camino is no small thing.
All blessings on your way.
Ultreia!

Thank you! Before i left for my last Camino back in March, most of my patients knew I was doing a long long hike. Whether they were appalled or inspired, they were all definitely interested in it.

 

[Kiwi-family]

Wow! What a sense of satisfaction you must get from your job! I can see why a complete change would be so beneficial for you - a Camino is a fabulous way to decompress (better than sitting at a resort!!)
Keep up your good, noble and needed work!

 

[TaraWalks]

Wow! What a sense of satisfaction you must get from your job! I can see why a complete change would be so beneficial for you - a Camino is a fabulous way to decompress (better than sitting at a resort!!)
Keep up your good, noble and needed work!

It is definitely the best way to decompress in what I do. I aim to try for another camino every second year as decompression is my only guarantee to longevity in my job. It's a great job and I don't want to let it burn me out