Humorous post Camino post😊

[Caligal]

Hi fromCalifornia, A couple years ago someone posted a humorous post about how to feel like youre on Camino while at home, ie sleeping with your clothes on in a different room every night. I saw it again recently and now that I want to share with a friend I can’t find it. Can anyone help me out? Thanks Dee

 

[trecile]

I copied that post a few years ago

Create that Camino Feeling at Home​

• Sleep in your sleeping bag in a different room of the house every night, covered with a blanket that the dog uses. Use the worst pillow you have, or better yet, a fleece stuffed with old clothes.
• In the winter leave the window open, in the summer leave it closed - no A/C!
• Shower in lukewarm water. With one hand holding the shower door shut and the other on the tap, wash your hair. Dry yourself inside the shower cubicle, avoiding the drip and not tripping over your flip-flops. Use 1/3 of a towel.
• Wash your clothes by hand in the sink using the same sliver of soap that you showered with.
• Sit outside of your front door for a few hours waiting for someone to show up and unlock it.
• Wear the same two shirts, pants and underwear for six weeks.
• Ask someone to shine a flashlight in your eyes while you are sleeping.
• Have your family wake you up at 5 am by rustling plastic bags by your ears.
• Get a recording of people snoring and play it loudly throughout the night.
• Walk to the store and buy one bread roll, one slice of chorizo, one slice of cheese, and one banana.
• Stock up on single serve ice cream cups for dessert.
• Ask for that food by pointing and using sign language.
• Strike up conversations with complete strangers and pretend that you have known them your whole life. Ask if they prefer shoes or boots, and enquire about the health of their hips, knees and feet. Follow them around for the next 15 minutes making small talk. Try to remember where in Canada they are from.
• Carry one water bottle with you at all times and ask strangers to retrieve it for you, as you cannot quite reach it.
• Wear all the clothing that you can, then ask someone to soak you with a garden hose.
• Tap a spoon on a plate to emulate the sound of trekking poles. Continue to do this until your family threaten you with heavy blunt objects.
• Drink 3 liters of water then “go” in the bushes.
• Pick fruit from your neighbor’s trees.
• Take many pictures of arrow- and shell-like objects.
• Add cow manure to your garden and sit downwind of it for two hours, preferably at lunch time.
• Go to the post office and mail some clothing back to yourself.
• Get dressed in the dark, and put on damp clothes.
• Go to Starbucks and ask the barista to stamp your passport.
• Sit in the sun in such a way that only the left side of your body gets tan.
• Say “Buen Camino” to everyone you pass on the street!

 

[Caligal]

I copied that post a few years ago

Create that Camino Feeling at Home​

• Sleep in your sleeping bag in a different room of the house every night, covered with a blanket that the dog uses. Use the worst pillow you have, or better yet, a fleece stuffed with old clothes.
• In the winter leave the window open, in the summer leave it closed - no A/C!
• Shower in lukewarm water. With one hand holding the shower door shut and the other on the tap, wash your hair. Dry yourself inside the shower cubicle, avoiding the drip and not tripping over your flip-flops. Use 1/3 of a towel.
• Wash your clothes by hand in the sink using the same sliver of soap that you showered with.
• Sit outside of your front door for a few hours waiting for someone to show up and unlock it.
• Wear the same two shirts, pants and underwear for six weeks.
• Ask someone to shine a flashlight in your eyes while you are sleeping.
• Have your family wake you up at 5 am by rustling plastic bags by your ears.
• Get a recording of people snoring and play it loudly throughout the night.
• Walk to the store and buy one bread roll, one slice of chorizo, one slice of cheese, and one banana.
• Stock up on single serve ice cream cups for dessert.
• Ask for that food by pointing and using sign language.
• Strike up conversations with complete strangers and pretend that you have known them your whole life. Ask if they prefer shoes or boots, and enquire about the health of their hips, knees and feet. Follow them around for the next 15 minutes making small talk. Try to remember where in Canada they are from.
• Carry one water bottle with you at all times and ask strangers to retrieve it for you, as you cannot quite reach it.
• Wear all the clothing that you can, then ask someone to soak you with a garden hose.
• Tap a spoon on a plate to emulate the sound of trekking poles. Continue to do this until your family threaten you with heavy blunt objects.
• Drink 3 liters of water then “go” in the bushes.
• Pick fruit from your neighbor’s trees.
• Take many pictures of arrow- and shell-like objects.
• Add cow manure to your garden and sit downwind of it for two hours, preferably at lunch time.
• Go to the post office and mail some clothing back to yourself.
• Get dressed in the dark, and put on damp clothes.
• Go to Starbucks and ask the barista to stamp your passport.
• Sit in the sun in such a way that only the left side of your body gets tan.
• Say “Buen Camino” to everyone you pass on the street!

Wow Trecile, 5 minutes from asking to receiving, you rock! Thank you

 

[C clearly]

Or here is a thread from 2011 on the forum, with basically the same ideas, plus member additions.

 

[peregrina2000]

That post made its way to facebook somehow, but I am pretty confident saying that its author was Tamtamplin on the forum (see C Clearly’s link above), written in 2011 after he walked his first camino. Tamtamplin had many humorous posts.

I’ll put in a couple here that I was able to find.

dear agony aunt
i too am looking for a walking companion
the guy at the hiking store said
get a set of pacer poles
they support you and never give up
? was he being rude
kind regards
tamtamplin
.
dear tamtamplin
go with the poles
if you dont like them you can just toss them over a cliff
not so with the human variety
.....or maybe....
aunt aggie

Here’s one on pack weight

ah yes, the vexed 10% of body weight urban legend
.
? who said this is the optimal weight
? who said a light pack is every pilgrims holy grail
? did the pilgrims of yore compare size
.
i have discovered 2 scientificly proven methods of determining when your backpack is too heavy
.
1) if you slip in the mud and "face-plant" into 2 inches of water, and you drown because you cant lift yourself up - then your pack is too heavy.
2) if you stumble and slip and fall over backwards, landing on your pack and unable to get upright, arms flaying, and the farmer finds you exhausted 3 days later - then your backpack is too heavy
.
i love the camino

We haven’t heard from Tamtamplin in years and hope he is well.

 

[Peggy1042]

I copied that post a few years ago

Create that Camino Feeling at Home​

• Sleep in your sleeping bag in a different room of the house every night, covered with a blanket that the dog uses. Use the worst pillow you have, or better yet, a fleece stuffed with old clothes.
• In the winter leave the window open, in the summer leave it closed - no A/C!
• Shower in lukewarm water. With one hand holding the shower door shut and the other on the tap, wash your hair. Dry yourself inside the shower cubicle, avoiding the drip and not tripping over your flip-flops. Use 1/3 of a towel.
• Wash your clothes by hand in the sink using the same sliver of soap that you showered with.
• Sit outside of your front door for a few hours waiting for someone to show up and unlock it.
• Wear the same two shirts, pants and underwear for six weeks.
• Ask someone to shine a flashlight in your eyes while you are sleeping.
• Have your family wake you up at 5 am by rustling plastic bags by your ears.
• Get a recording of people snoring and play it loudly throughout the night.
• Walk to the store and buy one bread roll, one slice of chorizo, one slice of cheese, and one banana.
• Stock up on single serve ice cream cups for dessert.
• Ask for that food by pointing and using sign language.
• Strike up conversations with complete strangers and pretend that you have known them your whole life. Ask if they prefer shoes or boots, and enquire about the health of their hips, knees and feet. Follow them around for the next 15 minutes making small talk. Try to remember where in Canada they are from.
• Carry one water bottle with you at all times and ask strangers to retrieve it for you, as you cannot quite reach it.
• Wear all the clothing that you can, then ask someone to soak you with a garden hose.
• Tap a spoon on a plate to emulate the sound of trekking poles. Continue to do this until your family threaten you with heavy blunt objects.
• Drink 3 liters of water then “go” in the bushes.
• Pick fruit from your neighbor’s trees.
• Take many pictures of arrow- and shell-like objects.
• Add cow manure to your garden and sit downwind of it for two hours, preferably at lunch time.
• Go to the post office and mail some clothing back to yourself.
• Get dressed in the dark, and put on damp clothes.
• Go to Starbucks and ask the barista to stamp your passport.
• Sit in the sun in such a way that only the left side of your body gets tan.
• Say “Buen Camino” to everyone you pass on the street!

OMG that gave me a good laugh. Thank you!

 

[Camino Chrissy]

I love the list of humorous musings of how to keep the Camino "alive" after returning home. That list has been "around the block" a few times, but I never tire of reading it again with a couple of additions of my own...
* Set your backpack on a kitchen chair at home, then tell yourself to take it off as it is rude to claim the chair as your own.
* Hand wash your socks and undies in your bathroom sink, then secure them with safety pins on a hanger (replicating a pension or hotel experience). Place it precariously outside your bedroom window to dry in a breeze, hoping it will not fall to the ground.

 

[SAstounded]

Tie a cow bell to your neighbours pets so you get that distinct but unexpected distant sound of the Pyrenees….

 

[C clearly]

I am curious if the 2011 forum thread started by +@^^ (aka Tamtamplin) was the original source for the versions that have circulated on Camino platforms for years now. Each time, it gets enhanced, but it is fun to see the original as it unfolded and imagine the author creating it.

Does anyone know of an earlier version?

​

 

[Hom4]

Let's not forget about saving the left over breakfast toast and the last two bites of your sandwich in plastic baggies to eat the next day with the morning coffee!

 

[Rex]

What a great reminder of all the things we "love" about the Camino experience... and yet we can't wait to return to it again and again!
Buen Camino

 

[Dani7]

I copied that post a few years ago

Create that Camino Feeling at Home​

• Sleep in your sleeping bag in a different room of the house every night, covered with a blanket that the dog uses. Use the worst pillow you have, or better yet, a fleece stuffed with old clothes.
• In the winter leave the window open, in the summer leave it closed - no A/C!
• Shower in lukewarm water. With one hand holding the shower door shut and the other on the tap, wash your hair. Dry yourself inside the shower cubicle, avoiding the drip and not tripping over your flip-flops. Use 1/3 of a towel.
• Wash your clothes by hand in the sink using the same sliver of soap that you showered with.
• Sit outside of your front door for a few hours waiting for someone to show up and unlock it.
• Wear the same two shirts, pants and underwear for six weeks.
• Ask someone to shine a flashlight in your eyes while you are sleeping.
• Have your family wake you up at 5 am by rustling plastic bags by your ears.
• Get a recording of people snoring and play it loudly throughout the night.
• Walk to the store and buy one bread roll, one slice of chorizo, one slice of cheese, and one banana.
• Stock up on single serve ice cream cups for dessert.
• Ask for that food by pointing and using sign language.
• Strike up conversations with complete strangers and pretend that you have known them your whole life. Ask if they prefer shoes or boots, and enquire about the health of their hips, knees and feet. Follow them around for the next 15 minutes making small talk. Try to remember where in Canada they are from.
• Carry one water bottle with you at all times and ask strangers to retrieve it for you, as you cannot quite reach it.
• Wear all the clothing that you can, then ask someone to soak you with a garden hose.
• Tap a spoon on a plate to emulate the sound of trekking poles. Continue to do this until your family threaten you with heavy blunt objects.
• Drink 3 liters of water then “go” in the bushes.
• Pick fruit from your neighbor’s trees.
• Take many pictures of arrow- and shell-like objects.
• Add cow manure to your garden and sit downwind of it for two hours, preferably at lunch time.
• Go to the post office and mail some clothing back to yourself.
• Get dressed in the dark, and put on damp clothes.
• Go to Starbucks and ask the barista to stamp your passport.
• Sit in the sun in such a way that only the left side of your body gets tan.
• Say “Buen Camino” to everyone you pass on the street!

This is the absolute funniest thing i have EVER read on this forum. I laughed so hard i was snorting I’m copying it as well. Thank you so much for reposting @trecile

 

[Tincatinker]

Ah. This thread has taken me back. Those who have been around long enough may remember this thread ( and two great characters who contributed to it) https://www.caminodesantiago.me/community/threads/last-camino.12175/

 

[Camino Chrissy]

Ah. This thread has taken me back. Those who have been around long enough may remember this thread ( and two great characters who contributed to it) https://www.caminodesantiago.me/community/threads/last-camino.12175/

I've read this thread/list a time or two to family members and friends after my first Camino in 2015. For some "unknown reason" they didn't laugh as much as I did.

 

[peregrina2000]

I am curious if the 2011 forum thread started by +@^^ (aka Tamtamplin) was the original source for the versions that have circulated on Camino platforms for years now. Each time, it gets enhanced, but it is fun to see the original as it unfolded and imagine the author creating it.

Does anyone know of an earlier version?

​

In the discussion on the thread, Tamtamplin describes how the ideas came to him. In fact, some members suggested that he should make sure to secure copyright protection (which I believe he automatically has if he is the author anyway), but his response to that was definitive:


aaawe gee thanks
the ideas came to me
while i was using a cookie-cutter to cut duck shapes for my bath, out of the blue sleeping mat i never used
.
re the copyright thing.....not to worry
in africa we have this quaint tradition
if you see something you like
you just take it
even if somebody else happens to be farming it or driving it at the time
.
so
if the words end up on your fridge
or on another blogsite or in another form
i would be happy
spread the words spread the love
Tam

 

[howardd5]

I copied that post a few years ago

Create that Camino Feeling at Home​

• Sleep in your sleeping bag in a different room of the house every night, covered with a blanket that the dog uses. Use the worst pillow you have, or better yet, a fleece stuffed with old clothes.
• In the winter leave the window open, in the summer leave it closed - no A/C!
• Shower in lukewarm water. With one hand holding the shower door shut and the other on the tap, wash your hair. Dry yourself inside the shower cubicle, avoiding the drip and not tripping over your flip-flops. Use 1/3 of a towel.
• Wash your clothes by hand in the sink using the same sliver of soap that you showered with.
• Sit outside of your front door for a few hours waiting for someone to show up and unlock it.
• Wear the same two shirts, pants and underwear for six weeks.
• Ask someone to shine a flashlight in your eyes while you are sleeping.
• Have your family wake you up at 5 am by rustling plastic bags by your ears.
• Get a recording of people snoring and play it loudly throughout the night.
• Walk to the store and buy one bread roll, one slice of chorizo, one slice of cheese, and one banana.
• Stock up on single serve ice cream cups for dessert.
• Ask for that food by pointing and using sign language.
• Strike up conversations with complete strangers and pretend that you have known them your whole life. Ask if they prefer shoes or boots, and enquire about the health of their hips, knees and feet. Follow them around for the next 15 minutes making small talk. Try to remember where in Canada they are from.
• Carry one water bottle with you at all times and ask strangers to retrieve it for you, as you cannot quite reach it.
• Wear all the clothing that you can, then ask someone to soak you with a garden hose.
• Tap a spoon on a plate to emulate the sound of trekking poles. Continue to do this until your family threaten you with heavy blunt objects.
• Drink 3 liters of water then “go” in the bushes.
• Pick fruit from your neighbor’s trees.
• Take many pictures of arrow- and shell-like objects.
• Add cow manure to your garden and sit downwind of it for two hours, preferably at lunch time.
• Go to the post office and mail some clothing back to yourself.
• Get dressed in the dark, and put on damp clothes.
• Go to Starbucks and ask the barista to stamp your passport.
• Sit in the sun in such a way that only the left side of your body gets tan.
• Say “Buen Camino” to everyone you pass on the street!

A real good laugh&s mile . A lot of truth there

 

[Frankybaby66]

I copied that post a few years ago

Create that Camino Feeling at Home​

• Sleep in your sleeping bag in a different room of the house every night, covered with a blanket that the dog uses. Use the worst pillow you have, or better yet, a fleece stuffed with old clothes.
• In the winter leave the window open, in the summer leave it closed - no A/C!
• Shower in lukewarm water. With one hand holding the shower door shut and the other on the tap, wash your hair. Dry yourself inside the shower cubicle, avoiding the drip and not tripping over your flip-flops. Use 1/3 of a towel.
• Wash your clothes by hand in the sink using the same sliver of soap that you showered with.
• Sit outside of your front door for a few hours waiting for someone to show up and unlock it.
• Wear the same two shirts, pants and underwear for six weeks.
• Ask someone to shine a flashlight in your eyes while you are sleeping.
• Have your family wake you up at 5 am by rustling plastic bags by your ears.
• Get a recording of people snoring and play it loudly throughout the night.
• Walk to the store and buy one bread roll, one slice of chorizo, one slice of cheese, and one banana.
• Stock up on single serve ice cream cups for dessert.
• Ask for that food by pointing and using sign language.
• Strike up conversations with complete strangers and pretend that you have known them your whole life. Ask if they prefer shoes or boots, and enquire about the health of their hips, knees and feet. Follow them around for the next 15 minutes making small talk. Try to remember where in Canada they are from.
• Carry one water bottle with you at all times and ask strangers to retrieve it for you, as you cannot quite reach it.
• Wear all the clothing that you can, then ask someone to soak you with a garden hose.
• Tap a spoon on a plate to emulate the sound of trekking poles. Continue to do this until your family threaten you with heavy blunt objects.
• Drink 3 liters of water then “go” in the bushes.
• Pick fruit from your neighbor’s trees.
• Take many pictures of arrow- and shell-like objects.
• Add cow manure to your garden and sit downwind of it for two hours, preferably at lunch time.
• Go to the post office and mail some clothing back to yourself.
• Get dressed in the dark, and put on damp clothes.
• Go to Starbucks and ask the barista to stamp your passport.
• Sit in the sun in such a way that only the left side of your body gets tan.
• Say “Buen Camino” to everyone you pass on the street!

Brilliant!

 

[mvanert]

I copied that post a few years ago

Create that Camino Feeling at Home​

• Sleep in your sleeping bag in a different room of the house every night, covered with a blanket that the dog uses. Use the worst pillow you have, or better yet, a fleece stuffed with old clothes.
• In the winter leave the window open, in the summer leave it closed - no A/C!
• Shower in lukewarm water. With one hand holding the shower door shut and the other on the tap, wash your hair. Dry yourself inside the shower cubicle, avoiding the drip and not tripping over your flip-flops. Use 1/3 of a towel.
• Wash your clothes by hand in the sink using the same sliver of soap that you showered with.
• Sit outside of your front door for a few hours waiting for someone to show up and unlock it.
• Wear the same two shirts, pants and underwear for six weeks.
• Ask someone to shine a flashlight in your eyes while you are sleeping.
• Have your family wake you up at 5 am by rustling plastic bags by your ears.
• Get a recording of people snoring and play it loudly throughout the night.
• Walk to the store and buy one bread roll, one slice of chorizo, one slice of cheese, and one banana.
• Stock up on single serve ice cream cups for dessert.
• Ask for that food by pointing and using sign language.
• Strike up conversations with complete strangers and pretend that you have known them your whole life. Ask if they prefer shoes or boots, and enquire about the health of their hips, knees and feet. Follow them around for the next 15 minutes making small talk. Try to remember where in Canada they are from.
• Carry one water bottle with you at all times and ask strangers to retrieve it for you, as you cannot quite reach it.
• Wear all the clothing that you can, then ask someone to soak you with a garden hose.
• Tap a spoon on a plate to emulate the sound of trekking poles. Continue to do this until your family threaten you with heavy blunt objects.
• Drink 3 liters of water then “go” in the bushes.
• Pick fruit from your neighbor’s trees.
• Take many pictures of arrow- and shell-like objects.
• Add cow manure to your garden and sit downwind of it for two hours, preferably at lunch time.
• Go to the post office and mail some clothing back to yourself.
• Get dressed in the dark, and put on damp clothes.
• Go to Starbucks and ask the barista to stamp your passport.
• Sit in the sun in such a way that only the left side of your body gets tan.
• Say “Buen Camino” to everyone you pass on the street!

Love it! Who's the author?

 

[trecile]

Love it! Who's the author?

As @C clearly said in this post, it was originally written by a forum member back in 2011.

Or here is a thread from 2011 on the forum, with basically the same ideas, plus member additions.

 

[Aisling1]

I copied that post a few years ago

Create that Camino Feeling at Home​

• Sleep in your sleeping bag in a different room of the house every night, covered with a blanket that the dog uses. Use the worst pillow you have, or better yet, a fleece stuffed with old clothes.
• In the winter leave the window open, in the summer leave it closed - no A/C!
• Shower in lukewarm water. With one hand holding the shower door shut and the other on the tap, wash your hair. Dry yourself inside the shower cubicle, avoiding the drip and not tripping over your flip-flops. Use 1/3 of a towel.
• Wash your clothes by hand in the sink using the same sliver of soap that you showered with.
• Sit outside of your front door for a few hours waiting for someone to show up and unlock it.
• Wear the same two shirts, pants and underwear for six weeks.
• Ask someone to shine a flashlight in your eyes while you are sleeping.
• Have your family wake you up at 5 am by rustling plastic bags by your ears.
• Get a recording of people snoring and play it loudly throughout the night.
• Walk to the store and buy one bread roll, one slice of chorizo, one slice of cheese, and one banana.
• Stock up on single serve ice cream cups for dessert.
• Ask for that food by pointing and using sign language.
• Strike up conversations with complete strangers and pretend that you have known them your whole life. Ask if they prefer shoes or boots, and enquire about the health of their hips, knees and feet. Follow them around for the next 15 minutes making small talk. Try to remember where in Canada they are from.
• Carry one water bottle with you at all times and ask strangers to retrieve it for you, as you cannot quite reach it.
• Wear all the clothing that you can, then ask someone to soak you with a garden hose.
• Tap a spoon on a plate to emulate the sound of trekking poles. Continue to do this until your family threaten you with heavy blunt objects.
• Drink 3 liters of water then “go” in the bushes.
• Pick fruit from your neighbor’s trees.
• Take many pictures of arrow- and shell-like objects.
• Add cow manure to your garden and sit downwind of it for two hours, preferably at lunch time.
• Go to the post office and mail some clothing back to yourself.
• Get dressed in the dark, and put on damp clothes.
• Go to Starbucks and ask the barista to stamp your passport.
• Sit in the sun in such a way that only the left side of your body gets tan.
• Say “Buen Camino” to everyone you pass on the street!

Excellent, really looking forward to my Camino in June

 

[Sirage]

Create that Camino Feeling at Home​

• Sleep in your sleeping bag in a different room of the house every night, covered with a blanket that the dog uses. Use the worst pillow you have, or better yet, a fleece stuffed with old clothes.
• In the winter leave the window open, in the summer leave it closed - no A/C!
• Shower in lukewarm water. With one hand holding the shower door shut and the other on the tap, wash your hair. Dry yourself inside the shower cubicle, avoiding the drip and not tripping over your flip-flops. Use 1/3 of a towel.
• Wash your clothes by hand in the sink using the same sliver of soap that you showered with.
• Sit outside of your front door for a few hours waiting for someone to show up and unlock it.
• Wear the same two shirts, pants and underwear for six weeks.
• Ask someone to shine a flashlight in your eyes while you are sleeping.
• Have your family wake you up at 5 am by rustling plastic bags by your ears.
• Get a recording of people snoring and play it loudly throughout the night.
• Walk to the store and buy one bread roll, one slice of chorizo, one slice of cheese, and one banana.
• Stock up on single serve ice cream cups for dessert.
• Ask for that food by pointing and using sign language.
• Strike up conversations with complete strangers and pretend that you have known them your whole life. Ask if they prefer shoes or boots, and enquire about the health of their hips, knees and feet. Follow them around for the next 15 minutes making small talk. Try to remember where in Canada they are from.
• Carry one water bottle with you at all times and ask strangers to retrieve it for you, as you cannot quite reach it.
• Wear all the clothing that you can, then ask someone to soak you with a garden hose.
• Tap a spoon on a plate to emulate the sound of trekking poles. Continue to do this until your family threaten you with heavy blunt objects.
• Drink 3 liters of water then “go” in the bushes.
• Pick fruit from your neighbor’s trees.
• Take many pictures of arrow- and shell-like objects.
• Add cow manure to your garden and sit downwind of it for two hours, preferably at lunch time.
• Go to the post office and mail some clothing back to yourself.
• Get dressed in the dark, and put on damp clothes.
• Go to Starbucks and ask the barista to stamp your passport.
• Sit in the sun in such a way that only the left side of your body gets tan.
• Say “Buen Camino” to everyone you pass on the street!

I am now wondering if anyone's normal life at home is "somewhat" like that.

 

[chinacat]

Re-reading the several old threads mentioned here has reminded me of how I do miss several members who have either died, left or haven’t posted for years.

 

[MARSKA]

• Ask for that food by pointing and using sign language.
• Strike up conversations with complete strangers and pretend that you have known them your whole life. Ask if they prefer shoes or boots, and enquire about the health of their hips, knees and feet. Follow them around for the next 15 minutes making small talk. Try to remember where in Canada they are from.
• Carry one water bottle with you at all times and ask strangers to retrieve it for you, as you cannot quite reach it.
• Wear all the clothing that you can, then ask someone to soak you with a garden hose.
• Tap a spoon on a plate to emulate the sound of trekking poles. Continue to do this until your family threaten you with heavy blunt objects.
• Go to the post office and mail some clothing back to yourself.
• Get dressed in the dark, and put on damp clothes.

Cracks me up!