Vulnerable Post…
Tomorrow I leave the comforts of my life and begin the grueling process of becoming a Pilgrim.
I am mindful of the enormity of what I’m trying to accomplish, trying to summon the willingness to face whatever the Camino shows me. Whether it is hardship, pain, blessings, joy, sorrows, grace, victory, or defeat, I am praying that I’m up to what will be required for me and that I’m open to whatever lessons I need to learn.
I sense that something monumental, a major transformation, a metamorphosis, will take place as I walk. I’m already feeling tectonic shifts in my psyche, and I won’t be the same when I return. I’m getting in touch with a sense of sacredness and solemnity that has been lacking in my life.
I’m terrified and excited. I have complex PTSD, lately I’ve done very well, but this will be a psychological “stress test”. There’s only so much I can process at a therapist’s office, and I hope I can learn how to relate better to others in more organic circumstances. I know I can fail and must be willing to accept failure with grace. I also know that I can succeed and must be willing to accept triumph with humility.Because both are equally valid ways of experiencing the miracle that is life.
I head tomorrow to Miami, the next day I fly to Madrid. After spending a few days in SJPDP, I plan to start walking the Camino Francés on August 11, into the unknown.
I will not be the same after this, hopefully I’ll be a better man.
I’m grateful for the advice and support I’ve received in this forum, much appreciated!