Walking the Camino as a shy person

[emmarosegardner]

Has anyone walked the Camino while "shy" or introverted?

I (26 f, USA) am walking the Camino Frances in May 2025 mostly excited but also a bit nervous about the social aspect of the journey. I really want to meet and walk with new people during my time on the Camino, but I don't feel confident in my people skills/knowing how and when to approach people I meet. I worry that I will wait for others to approach me and will miss out on meeting cool people as a result.

I wouldn't describe myself as an introvert - more "shy," in that I love being around people once I am comfortable with them, but don't feel like I'm good at meeting new people or initiating interactions with strangers. I feel I lost a lot of my 'instincts' for approaching and meeting new people when I started working from home during COVID. I also have lost a lot of my self-confidence due to gaining ~50 lbs over the past few years due to a pelvic fracture, and find that strangers often treat me differently/poorly now that I am on the heavier side. Additionally, I have had a handful of bad experiences with dishonest people who I thought were friends, but actually turned out that they didn't like me (they just felt bad and were people-pleasing, I guess?) I am genuinely garbage at small talk and feel like I have a really hard time gauging whether new people I meet like me/are genuinely interested in getting to know me or not. I am very smart and that can be somewhat off-putting to some people, which I understand.

There are many reasons I'm doing this walk, but mainly I am hoping to a) spend some dedicated time to nurture my body and work towards my body feeling better, b) reconnect with my self-confidence (the two are not related - I want to love myself regardless of what my body looks like), and c) meet some cool people along the way.

Can anyone speak to their experiences of meeting new people on the Camino? If any of this resonates with you, I'd really love to hear your perspective, experiences, and any advice you might be able to offer. And if anybody knows what I can do to put off a "please, approach me!" energy so that I don't have to worry about initiating, please let me know!

Cheers!

Emma

 

[James van Hemert]

Has anyone walked the Camino while "shy" or introverted?

I (26 f, USA) am walking the Camino Frances in May 2025 mostly excited but also a bit nervous about the social aspect of the journey. I really want to meet and walk with new people during my time on the Camino, but I don't feel confident in my people skills/knowing how and when to approach people I meet. I worry that I will wait for others to approach me and will miss out on meeting cool people as a result.

I wouldn't describe myself as an introvert - more "shy," in that I love being around people once I am comfortable with them, but don't feel like I'm good at meeting new people or initiating interactions with strangers. I feel I lost a lot of my 'instincts' for approaching and meeting new people when I started working from home during COVID. I also have lost a lot of my self-confidence due to gaining ~50 lbs over the past few years due to a pelvic fracture, and find that strangers often treat me differently/poorly now that I am on the heavier side. Additionally, I have had a handful of bad experiences with dishonest people who I thought were friends, but actually turned out that they didn't like me (they just felt bad and were people-pleasing, I guess?) I am genuinely garbage at small talk and feel like I have a really hard time gauging whether new people I meet like me/are genuinely interested in getting to know me or not. I am very smart and that can be somewhat off-putting to some people, which I understand.

There are many reasons I'm doing this walk, but mainly I am hoping to a) spend some dedicated time to nurture my body and work towards my body feeling better, b) reconnect with my self-confidence (the two are not related - I want to love myself regardless of what my body looks like), and c) meet some cool people along the way.

Can anyone speak to their experiences of meeting new people on the Camino? If any of this resonates with you, I'd really love to hear your perspective, experiences, and any advice you might be able to offer. And if anybody knows what I can do to put off a "please, approach me!" energy so that I don't have to worry about initiating, please let me know!

Cheers!

Emma

Emma
You sound like someone I would love to meet on the camino!
In my experience most people will respond positively to a smile, a "hola" , or a helping hand with something. On the camino people enjoy meeting strangers. Simply introducing yourself may be enough to start a great conversation. You will make camino friends. As you walk you will gain confidence.
Buen Camino!

 

[J Willhaus]

@emmarosegardner, do you have your first few nights booked? Some albergues those first nights have a communal dinner where everyone introduces themselves. You'll probably see a lot of these same people a lot on your Camino so it is a good way to "break the ice".

Both Borda and Orrison have a communal dinner. In St Jean, I can recommend Bellari. Make reservations in advance as these are popular places. Best wishes!

 

[AK2112]

Emma
You sound like someone I would love to meet on the camino!
In my experience most people will respond positively to a smile, a "hola" , or a helping hand with something. On the camino people enjoy meeting strangers. Simply introducing yourself may be enough to start a great conversation. You will make camino friends. As you walk you will gain confidence.
Buen Camino!

I can only second what @James van Hemert writes. You will be fine.

 

[Jharris]

I have to agree with joining the albergue communal meals. I did this all along the Frances. It's a great way to meet people. Also at the albergue if I see a group of people visiting in a common area I'll ask to join them. I'm never refused. Walking by myself is my preference.
I've walked the Frances solo twice.

 

[Juspassinthru]

Hi, I’m Emma from fill in the blank, where are you from? Where’d you start? Further on, add when did you start? or when do you think you’ll arrive in Santiago? On the CF, you just broke the ice. Especially on the CF, most people are eager to talk and meet new people. The other nice thing about the Camino, most people respect the need space. If you need some space, slow down or re-tie your boots.

Emma from wherever, I’m Keith from Texas, I think you’ll do fine.

 

[David]

I do so love an honest post, how brave you are, to be so open - good for you! - Emma, I think you will find that many pilgrims have similar feelings to you. To add to that tension (anxiety?) starting Camino is very much the same feeling as the first day at a new school - but you will be surprised at how soon you understand how it all works and how quickly you relax into daily life.

A point - on Camino no one knows who you are, your history, background, even where you are from .. you are - for once in your life - free of all that, as are they .. so we all meet each other that way ... which is quite marvellous if you think about it.
As for being temporarily heavy now - plenty of heavy pilgrims out there - and it isn't a race.

Smile of course ... even a shy person can smile at others - the smile that is returned will feed you
Agree re communal meals - absolutely, join in to all of them!! High point of Camino!!
When entering an evening bar/cafe for the pilgrim meal look to see if there is a table full of cheerful pilgrims and (yes, I know it is hard at first!) and if there is a spare chair then take a deep breath and ask if you can join them .. in 18 years I have not once been turned away and have met countless lovely humans.
Lastly - offer to help ... someone putting on or taking off a heavy pack? Putting a plaster on their feet? Hanging washing? Sitting on a rock on Camino looking unhappy?

The last Buddha is quoted as saying "Strive for personal happiness, result misery. Strive for happiness in others, result happiness."
So when we self focus those anxieties can increase, but when we 'others' focus we forget them.

All in all - I hope that you have a Wonderful Camino xx

 

[Bob Howard]

@emmarosegardner, do you have your first few nights booked? Some albergues those first nights have a communal dinner where everyone introduces themselves. You'll probably see a lot of these same people a lot on your Camino so it is a good way to "break the ice".

Both Borda and Orrison have a communal dinner. In St Jean, I can recommend Bellari. Make reservations in advance as these are popular places. Best wishes!

El Palo Avellano in Zubiri also has a popular communal dinner.

 

[trecile]

When entering an evening bar/cafe for the pilgrim meal look to see if there is a table full of cheerful pilgrims and (yes, I know it is hard at first!) and ask if you can join them

Or ask another solo pilgrim if they would like company. They could also be a shy person who would like to connect. But don't take it personally if they say no, some people are one the Camino precisely to be alone - that's the hard part of approaching someone, but with practice it gets easier.

 

[SabsP]

I do not want to be too negative about the concept of communal meals but they can be sometimes tiring and intimidating. Something to take into consideration.
As an introvert I cringe at the idea of those meals where you have to introduce yourself.

My advise to the OP : be true to yourself, follow your gut instinct like you would do at home.
I always preferred the contacts and meetings with one other person / pilgrim.

 

[Peterexpatkiwi]

Emma, welcome to the forum. There are many similar threads on this forum, this subject or variants of it come up frequently. Which would suggest to me that you are far from alone. The camino attracts people of all nationalities, ages, fitness levels and body types. You've already shown the courage to reach out to us - you will do well.
As others have said a simple smile or a 'Buen camino' is often enough to break the ice. Certainly if you are starting from earlier on on the trail i.e SJPDP. (I believe it can be a little harder if you're just walking the last 100 kilometers).

I do not want to be too negative about the concept of communal meals but they can be sometimes tiring and intimidating. Something to take into consideration.
As an introvert I cringe at the idea of those meals where you have to introduce yourself.

My advise to the OP : be true to yourself, follow your gut instinct like you would do at home.
I always preferred the contacts and meetings with one other person / pilgrim.

I couldn't agree more. Be true to yourself, the rest will follow.

 

[stewinyvr]

@emmarosegardner, do you have your first few nights booked? Some albergues those first nights have a communal dinner where everyone introduces themselves. You'll probably see a lot of these same people a lot on your Camino so it is a good way to "break the ice".

Both Borda and Orrison have a communal dinner. In St Jean, I can recommend Bellari. Make reservations in advance as these are popular places. Best wishes!

I can second Bellari in St Jean. The community meal there was a great way to start off the Camino, and meet a few pilgrims that you will inevitable see along the way. Some of the people I was there with I saw for the first few days, and then never again, some popped up almost midway through the walk, and one I didn't see until I got to Santiago..

 

[David Tallan]

Has anyone walked the Camino while "shy" or introverted?

I (26 f, USA) am walking the Camino Frances in May 2025 mostly excited but also a bit nervous about the social aspect of the journey. I really want to meet and walk with new people during my time on the Camino, but I don't feel confident in my people skills/knowing how and when to approach people I meet. I worry that I will wait for others to approach me and will miss out on meeting cool people as a result.

I wouldn't describe myself as an introvert - more "shy," in that I love being around people once I am comfortable with them, but don't feel like I'm good at meeting new people or initiating interactions with strangers. I feel I lost a lot of my 'instincts' for approaching and meeting new people when I started working from home during COVID. I also have lost a lot of my self-confidence due to gaining ~50 lbs over the past few years due to a pelvic fracture, and find that strangers often treat me differently/poorly now that I am on the heavier side. Additionally, I have had a handful of bad experiences with dishonest people who I thought were friends, but actually turned out that they didn't like me (they just felt bad and were people-pleasing, I guess?) I am genuinely garbage at small talk and feel like I have a really hard time gauging whether new people I meet like me/are genuinely interested in getting to know me or not. I am very smart and that can be somewhat off-putting to some people, which I understand.

There are many reasons I'm doing this walk, but mainly I am hoping to a) spend some dedicated time to nurture my body and work towards my body feeling better, b) reconnect with my self-confidence (the two are not related - I want to love myself regardless of what my body looks like), and c) meet some cool people along the way.

Can anyone speak to their experiences of meeting new people on the Camino? If any of this resonates with you, I'd really love to hear your perspective, experiences, and any advice you might be able to offer. And if anybody knows what I can do to put off a "please, approach me!" energy so that I don't have to worry about initiating, please let me know!

Cheers!

Emma

You might find this thread for introverted and crowd-averse pilgrims interesting.

 

[bestfootforward]

Hi @emmarosegardner, welcome! The beauty of the Camino, any Camino is that it can be as connected or independant as you want it to be. And I agree with the idea of say Bellari and/or Orisson as a 'first night on the trail'. As small venues, you meet other pilgrims just starting out as you are, in a lovely casual environment. There's a bond in that alone, giving you some friendly faces to engage with from the outset if you want to - and that doesn't include people you'll meet along the way. It's your Camino to enjoy as you wish. You'll be fine, totally fine. Buen Camino!

 

[Rick of Rick and Peg]

if anybody knows what I can do to put off a "please, approach me!" energy so that I don't have to worry about initiating, please let me know!

I have a few suggestions that may work. Make yourself known the easy way, with your pack or clothing. Here are a few ideas to start a brainstorm.

Have a kiddie seat or papoose on your pack facing backward with a cute doll in it holding a rose. Maybe have a scarf with a rose motif hanging there too. People passing you are likely to comment on your doll. Say “That’s Emma Rose Junior. Hi, I'm Emma Rose Senior. How are you?" Wear the scarf when not walking and you’ll have your new friends (and even strangers who heard of you) invite you to eat with them. At any rate folks will remember your name.

Brainstorming off the scarf: have one with a big smiley face with a "Emma says” at the top. Wear an identical button. Have a sello stamp made (or have a large supply of stickers) and offer commenters one for their credentials. Word will get around.

Get a gaudy pack and clothes to match.

Now come up with something else that matches your personality.

If you do do () something like this and get people talking to you can insert a comment into the conversation that you're shy and trying to meet folks. That will help get the conversation going (at least until you bring up the subject of new discoveries in quantum physics so don't be a smarty-pants ).

 

[slee92630]

Has anyone walked the Camino while "shy" or introverted?

I (26 f, USA) am walking the Camino Frances in May 2025 mostly excited but also a bit nervous about the social aspect of the journey. I really want to meet and walk with new people during my time on the Camino, but I don't feel confident in my people skills/knowing how and when to approach people I meet. I worry that I will wait for others to approach me and will miss out on meeting cool people as a result.

I wouldn't describe myself as an introvert - more "shy," in that I love being around people once I am comfortable with them, but don't feel like I'm good at meeting new people or initiating interactions with strangers. I feel I lost a lot of my 'instincts' for approaching and meeting new people when I started working from home during COVID. I also have lost a lot of my self-confidence due to gaining ~50 lbs over the past few years due to a pelvic fracture, and find that strangers often treat me differently/poorly now that I am on the heavier side. Additionally, I have had a handful of bad experiences with dishonest people who I thought were friends, but actually turned out that they didn't like me (they just felt bad and were people-pleasing, I guess?) I am genuinely garbage at small talk and feel like I have a really hard time gauging whether new people I meet like me/are genuinely interested in getting to know me or not. I am very smart and that can be somewhat off-putting to some people, which I understand.

There are many reasons I'm doing this walk, but mainly I am hoping to a) spend some dedicated time to nurture my body and work towards my body feeling better, b) reconnect with my self-confidence (the two are not related - I want to love myself regardless of what my body looks like), and c) meet some cool people along the way.

Can anyone speak to their experiences of meeting new people on the Camino? If any of this resonates with you, I'd really love to hear your perspective, experiences, and any advice you might be able to offer. And if anybody knows what I can do to put off a "please, approach me!" energy so that I don't have to worry about initiating, please let me know!

Cheers!

Emma

Hi Emma, I totally understand where you're coming from. I not shy, but I am a little guarded and I hopefully I can let that guard down, so it doesn't interfere with meeting new people and new experiences. I'm male, 62 from Southern California, so I this old dog is going to have to put some effort into breaking some long-time habits!