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Perhaps a Hidden Motivation for Walking the Camino

Charles Ross

Member
Time of past OR future Camino
Two people to walk the Camino de Santiago in the spring of (2018)
I've walked most of the French Camino twice and some of an aborted Portuguese Camino earlier this year. I'm considering a walk next Spring and getting some pushback from friends and relatives. My previous walks were with my partner, this upcoming adventure would be a solo walk. I'm hearing: 'You've done this already, you've done this more than once. There are so many things to do and places to see, why do this same walk (the French Camino) again' From my partner it's basically 'You're going without ME?!!!!' Okay. At this point you might be thinking that this is pretty much a personal problem/situation and not worth a discussion on the WWW.
Well, I've been thinking long and hard about this. There's more to my desire than it just being a 'fun vacay'. I recall something that happened to me @ 50 years ago. I was in my early 20's living in San Francisco working in a grocery store. A friend signed up and took a seminar called 'Erhard Seminar Training' (EST). He came out of the experience and talked me into taking it ("You gotta do it!", basically). In 1975 350 bucks was not an inconsequential amount of money pay for fluff but, ok. At some point in the process, you were supposed get the payoff, you were supposed to get 'IT'. The 'seminar' was in a Palace Hotel ballroom and scheduled two consecutive weekends. The start time was 8:00 on a Saturday morning. The room held about 400 people and it was full. The 'training' was to be done by the founder of the company, Werner Erhard. Ground rules: There were to be bathroom breaks, a lunch break but expect to be there for about 12 hours. You had to remain IN YOUR SEAT! Well, anyway, there were no bathroom breaks, lunch was cancelled and the first day ended at about 1:00 Sunday morning. I heard through the grumbles in the room that some people had peed in their seats! Some people needed a ride, I gave them a ride and went home and slept for about 4 hours. 8:00 AM, Sunday morning, I was back in my seat. The $350 was non-refundable. I really have little recollection of what happened on that stage; charts, graphs, personal stories, quotes from the sages of history; something along those lines. Once again, NO breaks and once again it all went about 15 hours into Monday morning. This time no sleep break. After giving my new acquaintances rides home, I had to go to work for a 4:00 AM - 1:00 shift. My work place was a Safeway store in North Beach. I was pissed, angry; I felt really trapped and duped, by my job, by the EST scam, by everything. I was on the Embarcadaro freeway and IT hit me. I got IT in a single moment. It was a intellectual realization borne of physical exhaustion. I realized that past, present and future . . . . . . . I wasn't forced to do any of it. I was angry about going to work. I wasn't up to it. I really got that all I had to do was exit the freeway, go to a payphone (1975, remember?) and call it in. Don't tell 'em I was sick, injured; just tell them 'I'm not going to be there today.' I did go to work and had a great day. I had energy and focus. In every moment I was where I wanted to be.
There were times on my 1st two Caminos where I felt exactly the same way. These feelings did not hit me on the first day or on the tenth day; they hit me when it all became a grind, when it started to be a little non-sensical. The walking served as a kind of brainwashing that disposed all my thoughts about past mistakes and future to-do lists. i was just right there by my lonesome or walking next to my partner or sitting having a coffee as I once again got 'IT'. That's it : ).
 
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I'm not sure I'm getting the connection between EST - getting IT and the desire to return to the Camino by yourself, but I would encourage you to go since you are feeling drawn to it and I would also say that it is likely to be a different experience walking solo and that you should give that a try. Although I've only done one Camino, I did it solo - I am also planning my second, and will do that solo as well. My sense is that it is different than walking with someone, but that is purely observational and others who have done both solo or companion trips may disagree. Go do it! And let go of your IT experience and focus on your present experience. Buen Camino!
 
Perhaps your partner should go on his or her own trip or Camino while you are gone? I generally walk with my spouse although he has done two different solo Caminos. I've done one Camino without my spouse, but instead took a group of university students as a class. Have not walked alone, but think I might enjoy it someday.
 
The one from Galicia (the round) and the one from Castilla & Leon. Individually numbered and made by the same people that make the ones you see on your walk.
“I'd rather regret the things I've done than regret the things I haven't done.” - Lucille Ball

As I get older, there will come a time, if I’m fortunate to live a long life and keep my memories, where I will be sitting with them. My solo caminos will be at the forefront of my fondest ones and a great source of lingering joy.

“The future depends on what you do today” Mahatma Ghandhi

Time is not as linear as we may think. Past, present and future live in our heads and hearts all at the same time.

Only you can know why a solo camino is calling. 😊
 

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