Perfectionism and the Camino experience

[Come2pappy]

I tend to be a perfectionist. In 40 days or so, I hope not to be as much of one. I read in many posts here the underlying question that I too have...that being "Will I be doing the Camino right? From clothes, to places to stay, to getting there, to weather...will I have what I need?

To a perfectionist like myself, hearing the words "the Camino provides" and "It's YOUR Camino", are tantamount to saying if I try to prepare for it, I am somehow NOT doing the Camino right. But the reality is that SOME measure of preparation is necessary...after all, I need to get to the Camino somehow.

Every positive suggestion I hear has an equally negative counterpart, and to a perfectionist, it is this negative I so want to control. I will have MY Camino, one way or the other...and MY Camino has a great potential to teach me something I need to know about myself, so I can choose to keep, or to lose, that which I experience.

This post is the beginning of MY Camino. It is where I lay out and examine what is important for me and what is not. But my hope is that whatever the outcome, in some way, I will have learned a lesson in love that helps me to accept things as they are...and to give more to meet the needs of others out of the abundance I have been given...from a smile to a "buen Camino".

 

[C clearly]

the words "the Camino provides" and "It's YOUR Camino"

Do not try to analyse these hackneyed phrases!

Just do your best to prepare appropriately, stay flexible, and almost certainly things will work out well.

 

[C clearly]

Just do your best to prepare appropriately, stay flexible, and almost certainly things will work out well.

On reflection, this is pretty good advice for almost any endeavour in life!

 

[RobertS26]

I have told this story on a different thread. On my second Camino, I met a surgeon from the United States who was a perfectionist. In planning his Camino, he read hundreds of books, consulted maps, elevation charts, and historical weather data. He left nothing to chance. The invasion of Normandy in WWII took less planning. He was so precise that he booked a room for every night along the way to Santiago--some 40 carefully planned out reservations. In all, he spent almost a thousand hours planning out the perfect Camino. The most absolutely glorious, never been done before, perfect Camino. It was a piece of art work that rivaled the David or Mona Lisa.

Then his Camino started. On the first day he fell into a Camino family. He loved his Camino family and they loved him. But there was only one problem. His Camino family was being spontaneous on where to stop for the night. Rarely did his Camino family stop where he already had a reservation. His solution? He would stop where they stopped, have a beer with them, grab a taxi, rush forward/backward to the village where he had a room, check in, shower, change clothes, grab a taxi back to his Camino family, have dinner with them, grab a taxi back to his room, sleep, get up, grab a taxi back to his Camino family, and resume walking with them. I observed this behavior all the way from SJPP to Leon.

Finally one day I asked him, "Why don't you just cancel the remainder of your reservations and stay in the same town as your Camino family?" Before he responded, he look left, then right, to make sure no one could hear his answer, and said in a hushed voice, "I don't want to admit that being a perfectionist about my Camino was a complete and total waste of time."

 

[Doogman]

One of the beauties of this forum is that people are rarely judgmental. Some use luggage transfer; others do not. Some stay in hotels; others do not. Some just wing it; others plan. The main thing is that you are doing a Camino! Good luck!

 

[Annie Little]

One of the beauties of this forum is that people are rarely judgmental. Some use luggage transfer; others do not. Some stay in hotels; others do not. Some just wing it; others plan. The main thing is that you are doing a Camino! Good luck!

And one of the good things about judgements for those who make them and we all do .... Judgements belong to the person who makes the judgements .... But I agree Doogman I think people are more accepting on the Camino ( just from what I have read) OR learn to be along the way

 

[VNwalking]

@Come2pappy, try not to overthink this.
If you walk with sincere and honest intention you can't do it wrong.

 

[alexwalker]

I have told this story on a different thread. On my second Camino, I met a surgeon from the United States who was a perfectionist. In planning his Camino, he read hundreds of books, consulted maps, elevation charts, and historical weather data. He left nothing to chance. The invasion of Normandy in WWII took less planning. He was so precise that he booked a room for every night along the way to Santiago--some 40 carefully planned out reservations. In all, he spent almost a thousand hours planning out the perfect Camino. The most absolutely, glorious, never been done before, perfect Camino. It was a piece of art work that rivaled the David or Mona Lisa.

Then his Camino started. On the first day he fell into a Camino family. He loved his Camino family and they loved him. But there was only one problem. His Camino family was being spontaneous on where to stop for the night. Rarely did his Camino family stop where he already had a reservation. His solution? He would stop where they stopped, have a beer with them, grab a taxi, rush forward/backward to the village where he had a room, check in, shower, change clothes, grab a taxi back to his Camino family, have dinner with them, grab a taxi back to his room, sleep, get up, grab a taxi back to his Camino family, and resume walking them. I observed this behavior all the way from SJPP to Leon.

Finally one day I asked him, "Why don't you just cancel the remainder of your reservations and stay in the same town as your Camino family?" Before he responded, he look left then right to make sure no one could hear his answer, and then he leaned forward close to me and in a hushed voice he said, "I don't want to admit that being a perfectionist about my Camino was a complete and total waste of time."

Still laughing. The plan almost never works.

 

[alexwalker]

I tend to be a perfectionist. In 40 days or so, I hope not to be as much of one. I read in many posts here the underlying question that I too have...that being "Will I be doing the Camino right? From clothes, to places to stay, to getting there, to weather...will I have what I need?

To a perfectionist like myself, hearing the words "the Camino provides" and "It's YOUR Camino", are tantamount to saying if I try to prepare for it, I am somehow NOT doing the Camino right. But the reality is that SOME measure of preparation is necessary...after all, I need to get to the Camino somehow.

Every positive suggestion I hear has an equally negative counterpart, and to a perfectionist, it is this negative I so want to control. I will have MY Camino, one way or the other...and MY Camino has a great potential to teach me something I need to know about myself, so I can choose to keep, or to lose, that which I experience.

This post is the beginning of MY Camino. It is where I lay out and examine what is important for me and what is not. But my hope is that whatever the outcome, in some way, I will have learned a lesson in love that helps me to accept things as they are...and to give more to meet the needs of others out of the abundance I have been given...from a smile to a "buen Camino".

Your words/worries are wise. There is nothing wrong with thinking seriously about how you should set about with your first camino. After all, you are entering unknown (for you) territory. Be prepared: Have good shoes, have some emergency medics, but do not overdo it. Remember; you can buy all you need/forgot, in Spain, at a lower price than at home. Duri ng your first days, you will find many strange objects in the albergues, left behind by fearful firsttimers to ease their burdens

But remember, your most detailed plan will fail. Things happen. You will meet people. Your feet may need a rest day or two. (I once needed 4) Go with your flow, and enjoy the journey. Enjoy being in the now. Remember: When you arrive in Santiago,your walk is over. What do you feel about about that?

Edit: On second thoughts, I should say: Your walk is over, but hopefully, your Camino for your life contiues.

All the best to you.

Buen Camino!

 

[dougfitz]

Still laughing. The plan almost never works.

There is nothing wrong with planning, providing one accepts that most plans do not survive their first contact with reality. Planning leads to understanding, blind adherence to the plan will only be frustrating!

 

[Robo]

I tend to be a perfectionist. In 40 days or so, I hope not to be as much of one.

Some planning is good. And the anticipation is fun. It's good to get advice on gear, maintaining your health and so on. That's why we all love reading the posts here.

I started out planning everything, but the Camino had other ideas, and my plans had to change before I even got there. An injury caused me to slow down and re-evaluate why I was doing all of this. So from Day 1 I promised myself to be flexible, and to walk with an open mind and an open heart. Each day that I completed was a wonderful milestone in itself. If I made it all the way to Santiago, great. If I didn't, I was sure going to enjoy the journey and learn what I could from it. Which was a lot.

So planning is fine. But as Doug points out, plans don't last long till reality takes over. So build in lots of flexibility for the unexpected. I only ever book accommodation 1 or 2 days ahead for that reason. (I'm not an Albergue person. Long story)

The planning will give you a degree of comfort. During the planning stages Once you are there, you might find yourself not caring about your plans very much...

Lastly, you say it's YOUR Camino. This phrase gets used a lot. Generally meaning I'll walk it in whatever manner I want to.

But THE Camino, has been there a long time, and may have other plans for you. Accept them, enjoy them, and learn from them

 

[MichaelB10398]

I tend to be a perfectionist. In 40 days or so, I hope not to be as much of one. I read in many posts here the underlying question that I too have...that being "Will I be doing the Camino right? From clothes, to places to stay, to getting there, to weather...will I have what I need?

To a perfectionist like myself, hearing the words "the Camino provides" and "It's YOUR Camino", are tantamount to saying if I try to prepare for it, I am somehow NOT doing the Camino right. But the reality is that SOME measure of preparation is necessary...after all, I need to get to the Camino somehow.

Every positive suggestion I hear has an equally negative counterpart, and to a perfectionist, it is this negative I so want to control. I will have MY Camino, one way or the other...and MY Camino has a great potential to teach me something I need to know about myself, so I can choose to keep, or to lose, that which I experience.

This post is the beginning of MY Camino. It is where I lay out and examine what is important for me and what is not. But my hope is that whatever the outcome, in some way, I will have learned a lesson in love that helps me to accept things as they are...and to give more to meet the needs of others out of the abundance I have been given...from a smile to a "buen Camino".

You will find that your degree of enjoyment, even love, of your Camino is directly related to the degree upon which you lose yourself to the moment and to others. It is at the times when we freely open ourselves to the world around us, to serving others, that our hearts, our being is made full.

You are not the first perfectionist to go on Camino; you are but one in a long line of them. The thing to remember is that you are a pilgrim in a very long line of pilgrims. Come rain or shine, in darkness, in health, you will rise and begin an old path and take one step at a time. Though we pilgrims all have an end in mind, may we never forget that it is in our daily walk that we are made whole again.

 

[domigee]

I don't know what it's like to be a perfectionist... but I know pilgrims who so wanted THE perfect experience, like going over the Pyrenees and seeing the wonderful mountain sights... only to be greeted by thick fog!
Of course we plan but we have to accept that those plans may change or come to nothing.
And as for this phrase 'It's MY camino', I think it is just 'THE Camino ' and we are all - as we walk - a part of it

Buen camino!

 

[Felipe]

You seem to have reached a reasonable conclusion. Every person is different. I'd only recommend that your planning includes moments for spontaneity and random decisions -although it seems to be contradictory at first sight.
Planning is fun, really; I like taking notes, browsing maps, reading guides. But I accept that a good portion will be useless in practice, too, especially in the Camino. Weather, blisters, friends, tiredness or fascination with some places, they can't be anticipated.

 

[kmrice]

There is nothing wrong with planning, providing one accepts that most plans do not survive their first contact with reality.

My plans in 2013 for the CF (I had every stop worked out for 35 days and all alberques chosen) worked perfectly until Roncesvalles. Couldn't walk as far as I had planned on day 3, at which point my plan went defunct. Continued without any plan and had a great Camino.

Currently four days out of SJPdP on the Chemin du Puis-en-Velay with a lot less planning. Having a wonderful time.

 

[PEI_Heather]

Hey, Come2Pappy, you could get a shirt made for your walk along the Camino:
Non-perfectionist In Training
Maybe you'll be joined by other NPITs and you could walk together for a while. Or with natural non-perfectionists! Now, wouldn't that be perfection!
Buen Camino; you are going to love it!

 

[Deleted member 3000]

If perfection means that everything is to your liking and under your control, the Camino will do you a world of good!

Like others, I do a lot of planning, but have never actually followed the plan. If you don't have a plan of some sort, you never know when you are off it. For some people, that is fine; but I like to know what corrections might be necessary to meet certain intermediary or final goals. I suppose that comes from being a pilot! This trip I have to meet an airplane arrival in Santiago, so I will need to know my progress toward that goal.

I always assume that everything IS perfect with or without my interference in life. I have to do the conforming, not the world. That is just my opinion; I could be wrong.

 

[james walter purdum iv]

i booked beilari and orrison...then trekked wide open without reservation and full of whimsy. i found that the camino lifted me and showed me the path that was right for me. i had and still have a great camino family and others who popped in along the way. i feel to open your mind to endless possibility and mostly positive and embracing the negative (sore feet, tired one day, weather) i just redirected my plans in the moment. i did sleep on the floor one nite but that was due to my over reaching my daily trekking distance catching the tail of the group that left st jean a day ahead of me. go with the flow....godspeed!

 

[Come2pappy]

As I read about the many wonderful churches along the Camino, I cannot help but wonder about the passionate "perfectionism" that went into the detailed carvings and designs I am being exposed to in these books. I think the operative word here is "passion". There is also much passion in the posts I am reading here...a sort of Camino patina if you will. Not having experienced it yet, I am still a bit bright and shiny, but like film, I am ready to be exposed, and the picture I become will be unique...even thought the pixels are made up of the exact same colors each of my fellow peregrinos embody. In that, I look forward to sharing the work the Camino does on each of us. That work will be perfect, in my opinion...just not predictable, and I am ok with that...

 

[C clearly]

As I read about the many wonderful churches along the Camino, I cannot help but wonder about the passionate "perfectionism" that went into the detailed carvings and designs I am being exposed to in these books. I think the operative word here is "passion". There is also much passion in the posts I am reading here...a sort of Camino patina if you will. Not having experienced it yet, I am still a bit bright and shiny, but like film, I am ready to be exposed, and the picture I become will be unique...even thought the pixels are made up of the exact same colors each of my fellow peregrinos embody. In that, I look forward to sharing the work the Camino does on each of us. That work will be perfect, in my opinion...just not predictable, and I am ok with that...

Hmmm. You are a romantic as well as a perfectionist! There wasn't much passion in MY post! (I reserve that for bedbugs!!!)

 

[Deleted member 3000]

wonder about the passionate "perfectionism" that went into the detailed carvings and designs

Perhaps the artists and architects were driven by perfectionism, but the workers did things like carve their initials in the building stones, the graffiti of the time! You can see it all around the cathedral in Santiago. There probably is much more hidden to the eye between the stones.

 

[mspath]

Perhaps the artists and architects were driven by perfectionism, but the workers did things like carve their initials in the building stones, the graffiti of the time! You can see it all around the cathedral in Santiago. There probably is much more hidden to the eye between the stones.

For much more re such masons' marks see the posts and the links in this earlier Forum thread.

 

[William Marques]

"Perfectionism, in psychology, is a personality trait characterised by a person's striving for flawlessness and setting excessively high performance standards, accompanied by overly critical self-evaluations and concerns regarding others' evaluations."

It seems to me that the Camino would be a kind of treatment and rehab for such a person.

 

[Miguel Pazos]

I tend to be a perfectionist. In 40 days or so, I hope not to be as much of one. I read in many posts here the underlying question that I too have...that being "Will I be doing the Camino right? From clothes, to places to stay, to getting there, to weather...will I have what I need?

I had the same issue. Until I realized that I enjoy the outcomes of my undertakings when I plan adequately. I understood that perfectionism is a healthy compromise between obsessive-compulsive control freak (which leads to massive frustration and a very annoying personality), and derelict-irresponsible (which is nuts).
Because decisions have consequences, I think it is useful and responsible to make an effort to understand what these may be and, to the best of one's ability, to try and take steps to make better decisions.
So, I've spent the last three months leading up to my upcoming Camino learning, researching, and planning. I think it is perfectly fine to make every effort to achieve the best possible outcome of such an undertaking. For example, impulsively, one might want to take the kitchen sink in the backpack, when a little research and planning can maximize the load. The ego might say that we can walk 500 miles in two weeks only to find out we've grossly over estimated ourselves and underestimated the challenge, or the budget.
It appears from the many comments in this Forum that the French route is so well equipped with infrastructure that no planning is really necessary. Also in this forum much has been written about other routes not being so well equipped and needing a little forethought.
So, if you are a perfectionist, more times than nuts, you'll be glad.
Buen Camino!

 

[JenCamino]

Still laughing. The plan almost never works.

There is nothing wrong with planning, providing one accepts that most plans do not survive their first contact with reality. Planning leads to understanding, blind adherence to the plan will only be frustrating!

For my Camino Primitivo this July, I planned like crazy, 21 days of pre-booked accommodations, nearly 1000 "pins" on my map, about the same number of training hours... all worked out great! I enjoyed the planning stages, "walking" portions of the trail on google street view, finding alternate routes that I'd have the option of taking when I was there (depending on how I felt at the time), researching for the best lightweight items for my pack, etc etc. Doing all this made me feel secure, knowing what to expect, eg this section has no restaurant/store (or just one--in Spain 50/50 chance it's closed! Lol), so pack your food in that day. This section has three, so be sure to stop at one of them. My training made feel secure in my abilities to walk my plan, which I did, no issues.

That said, I do agree that blind adherence to a plan will get a person into a lot of trouble, if circumstances warrant an adjustment. But that's what planning some of my alternate routes were about. eg. Too crowded on the Frances? I'll cut through here, and join the Ingles instead. Feeling perky? Do the scenic detour. No? That route is shorter and easier. Either way, I end up at the same hotel for the night. Certainly, when it comes to an injury, blind adherence can be disastrous, and not all injuries can be predicted, eg a bad fall.

All that said, some people don't enjoy the excessive planning, and in many cases, there were helpful people around to pick up the pieces, if I would have needed them. eg a local man offered me his own food in one of the no-services locations. He knew that many pilgrims didn't check ahead, and just assumed they would be able to buy food there. I've also heard of people sleeping outside or knocking on doors to get unconventional accommodations, when there was no hotel/albergue available. Not for me, unless I were in a real pinch, but some people might like the adventure of seeing how well they can manage without advance planning. Some people find planning tedious and repressive, and the purpose of their Camino was to feel more "free."

I'm sure there are many stories of fabulous Caminos achieved with minimal planning, especially on the Frances. In other cases, not enough planning led to prematurely ended Caminos. I think a person needs to have a good idea of what they are capable of, and what they are willing to do. I really didn't want to have to: walk 50km in a day when I planned for 15-25km, walk after dark, sleep outside, knock on random doors, or take a ride. For some people, some of those exact things became the highlights of their Camino. Certainly, for people who meet new dear friends on the trail, they may want to alter their plans to match up. Again, it's about knowing yourself and what you want our of your Camino. I think that's what "it's YOUR Camino" is about: MY Camino was meticulously planned.

 

[JenCamino]

My plans in 2013 for the CF (I had every stop worked out for 35 days and all alberques chosen) worked perfectly until Roncesvalles. Couldn't walk as far as I had planned on day 3, at which point my plan went defunct. Continued without any plan and had a great Camino.

Currently four days out of SJPdP on the Chemin du Puis-en-Velay with a lot less planning. Having a wonderful time.

Glad you are enjoying your new adventure with less planning. For some people, especially those who over-plan, this is indeed good medicine!!

For others, for whom getting off-track might be a nightmare, may I suggest one way to mitigate this issue: never "max out" on your daily km in your planning. For eg, I planned my daily km in such a way that I knew I could "double up" nearly any two days if needed, to "catch up" and be back on schedule, with only one missed hotel reservation. Most days I only walked about half of my physical max, and any really "long" day was followed by an excessively "short" day. Great for a rest, if things go well; good for playing catch-up, if things don't go well. Or if you just really want an extra day somewhere.

 

[Mark Lee]

I've never been one to cross over into the OCD plane. Way more enjoyable to roam about without an overly detailed plan, and as far walking the CF goes, you just don't need one. Too many places to stay, eat, drink, etc on it.
Besides, nothing on the CF (or any of the routes I'm sure) is static. I brought a fleece pullover. Too hot, and never even wore it. I brought a breathable, packable rain jacket. Never even rained on me once, and it sat unused at the bottom of the pack. Didn't think I'd need trekking poles, but I strained my knee the first week, and bought a set along the Way.
Despite lack of a plan I always found space at an albergue, and a place to eat.

 

[Jacobus]

Plans are the memories you haven't had yet

 

[C clearly]

Plans are the memories you haven't had yet

That's a great definition! I googled and couldn't find it. Did you create it?

 

[Jacobus]

That's a great definition! I googled and couldn't find it. Did you create it?

I'm not sure. I have never heard it before and as I was thinking about the whole issue of plans and obsessions and that kind of came out of all that. I said it, but don't feel like I created anything???