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[marrymeflyfree]

I’m a young, solo female planning on walking the Camino Frances sometime next year. I’m a flight attendant so I’m used to traveling and navigating the world by myself and I’ve also traveled abroad solo before. I prefer to travel solo. I feel a great deal of synchronicity in my life leading me to walk the Camino and I know it’s something I have to do!

Now, the issue is my friends and family. They have no problem with my job, but every time I talk about going abroad by myself there’s somebody who freaks out and immediately doesn’t want me to go. They feel it’s unsafe, especially in this situation because I’d be gone so long. I’m still going to follow my heart and I’ve tried educating my loved ones about the Camino but it would be nice if I had more support. Does anybody have any tips or advice to help me ease their minds? Thanks!

 

[Iriebabel]

Hi and welcome to the forum. Have them watch the movie “the way” with you and also get on you tube watch the videos by Efren Gonzales He does a day by day on the Frances. I walked alone with no problems but as a reminder on the camino you are never truly alone. Lots of other pilgrims wonder by in varying numbers and also the Camino Frances is probably the most popular of of the routes with ample infrastructure.

Your family and friends many never truly understand your need to walk the camino. As a whole Spain is one of the safest countries ...follow your heart and mind but also be safe. You can plan and keep your wits about you, but as a world traveler they should have confidence in your capabilities to protect yourself and be safe. Plenty of tips here on the forum to help you plan your trip.

Pilgrims take care of each other on the route but unless you truly want to be alone you have the knowledge that another pilgrim is not far. Also forum members, albergue hospitaleros, bar owners , locals, police in Spain are quite helpful to pilgrims. Relay these things to your friends and family and although it does not guarantee their understanding it may help.

Walk your walk and Buen Camino.

 

[twh]

Sometimes when you lead people with preconceived ideas to information sources they will search for the data that supports their current thinking. Even here on this wonderful site, if you search for murders, deaths, injuries, rapes, sexual deviant behavior you will find hours of reading to solidify your concerns.

If your family could meet people who have walked the Camino and just talk with them I think you could ratchet down their anxiety about your safety while on the Camino. Most cities of medium to large size have some kind of a Camino group who get together for dinners or picnics or local hikes or to listen to a speaker who makes a presentation. If you are near an REI store they probably have a Camino organization attached to it. Bring your family to one of these gatherings to meet and talk and listen but beware...after this experience, they may go from begging you not to go...to...begging you to take them with you...which may be an even bigger problem.

 

[domigee]

Hi! Show them the statistics - they are there in one of the threads - about how many people walk the Camino
Actually, I had the same reaction when I first mentioned walking on my own, my friends were horrified! Now they’re just used to it
Good luck and don’t change your plans!

 

[Iriebabel]

Hi! Show them the statistics - they are there in one of the threads - about how many people walk the Camino
Actually, I had the same reaction when I first mentioned walking on my own, my friends were horrified! Now they’re just used to it
Good luck and don’t change your plans!

Agree totally and Imagine what my family and friends thought with me and my leg brace

 

[Hiawatha]

The fears they have are their own , transfered onto you as you are actually planing on doing something they are afraid of .Their intentions are good but are fueling your self doubt .
Frankly I think you must be a very brave , tolerant and capable woman to survive as a flight attendant . Next to this the Camino is easy .

 

[tomnorth]

Your friends and family may never understand the pull of the Camino. Few people do. I suggest freeing yourself from the need to get them all on board.

 

[Deleted member 56069]

Honestly the France and Spain are likely safer than where you are from. My wife and I have been on five Camino's now and have never felt even remotely threatened. Granted I concede it can be a different story for a single female.
You are never alone on the Francis route unless you choose to be. You will meet people on your first day and every day. The best part of the Camino experience is all the people you will meet. If you are always walking with at least one other person or a small group, you really have nothing to worry about at all.
Just maintain a basic situational awareness and use the same common sense you would use when at home or travelling anywhere else.
You will love your Camino and likely you will get hooked like many of have.

Have fun and Buen Camino!

 

[Hobbyhorse]

I think you must be a very brave , tolerant and capable woman to survive as a flight attendant . Next to this the Camino is easy

I have friends who spent their working lives as flights attendants. Based on their experiences compared to what I observed spending over 90 nights along the Camino in 2014 and 2016, think that quote really nails it.

Great advice offered by others already.

 

[TheLazyPilgrim]

If you're young, you're not going to be alone...and that's not to say that older people don't form groups, but I can't speak on their behalf. As a younger person, I went on the Camino to 'walk alone' and from day one I found myself travelling with different people, almost the entire way. On top of that, we never once found ourselves walking at a time where it would be considered 'unsafe.' Generally, you reach your destination well before it gets dark, and there are always pilgrims ahead of or behind you. Follow the path and you will be safe.

 

[rick1977]

No clue if you are from the USA, but if you are comparative crime statistics might do the trick. For instance, the homicide rate in the US is 8.5x worse than in Spain. I'd imagine you could find similar stats for most violent crimes. After a reasonable amount of reassurance, tell them that you appreciate their concern, but the facts say you'll be safer in Spain and what you want from them is not concern but support.

 

[Kitsambler]

Now, the issue is my friends and family. They have no problem with my job, but every time I talk about going abroad by myself there’s somebody who freaks out and immediately doesn’t want me to go.

The issue is your depending upon their approval.

What seldom comes across in Camino films is the inner transformative effect of the Camino experience; mostly due to the paucity of visuals. But it is a thing. In fact, it is the singular, addictive thing about the Camino. After all, you can walk anywhere. You can visit foreign cities and towns lots of different ways. But transformation... now that's rare.

This is your opportunity.

 

[Former member 59618]

I’m a young, solo female planning on walking the Camino Frances sometime next year. I’m a flight attendant so I’m used to traveling and navigating the world by myself and I’ve also traveled abroad solo before. I prefer to travel solo. I feel a great deal of synchronicity in my life leading me to walk the Camino and I know it’s something I have to do!

Now, the issue is my friends and family. They have no problem with my job, but every time I talk about going abroad by myself there’s somebody who freaks out and immediately doesn’t want me to go. They feel it’s unsafe, especially in this situation because I’d be gone so long. I’m still going to follow my heart and I’ve tried educating my loved ones about the Camino but it would be nice if I had more support. Does anybody have any tips or advice to help me ease their minds? Thanks!

My experience is that it actually isn't your responsibility to educate them, nor ease their minds--I know that sounds harsh but that mindset of freaking out is pretty narrow. I don't want to assume, but are you from the US (I am)? My experience is people from the US (yes, I'm about to broadly brush my fellow americans, buckle up) live with a lot of fear instilled into us. It's everywhere and honest to god, I am a female traveler who walked by herself on the camino and I never felt safer. So much synchronicity got me on the camino that I couldn't not do it. The call was loud and clear and girl, when the camino calls, you have to answer. Not everyone will understand that. Which can be a little heart breaking. You only need your own permission and approval to go on great adventures!

buen camino...go out and let the camino have her way with you. It's nothing short of magical.

 

[Peter Fransiscus]

I’m a young, solo female planning on walking the Camino Frances sometime next year. I’m a flight attendant so I’m used to traveling and navigating the world by myself and I’ve also traveled abroad solo before. I prefer to travel solo. I feel a great deal of synchronicity in my life leading me to walk the Camino and I know it’s something I have to do!

Now, the issue is my friends and family. They have no problem with my job, but every time I talk about going abroad by myself there’s somebody who freaks out and immediately doesn’t want me to go. They feel it’s unsafe, especially in this situation because I’d be gone so long. I’m still going to follow my heart and I’ve tried educating my loved ones about the Camino but it would be nice if I had more support. Does anybody have any tips or advice to help me ease their minds? Thanks!

Hi , yesterday at 13,00hr. Pilgrim number 300,000 arrived in Santiago.
You will not be alone .

Wish you a wonderful time and a Buen Camino , Peter .

 

[marrymeflyfree]

The fears they have are their own , transfered onto you as you are actually planing on doing something they are afraid of .Their intentions are good but are fueling your self doubt .
Frankly I think you must be a very brave , tolerant and capable woman to survive as a flight attendant . Next to this the Camino is easy .

Thank you for the kind words! That means more than you know

 

[marrymeflyfree]

My experience is that it actually isn't your responsibility to educate them, nor ease their minds--I know that sounds harsh but that mindset of freaking out is pretty narrow. I don't want to assume, but are you from the US (I am)? My experience is people from the US (yes, I'm about to broadly brush my fellow americans, buckle up) live with a lot of fear instilled into us. It's everywhere and honest to god, I am a female traveler who walked by herself on the camino and I never felt safer. So much synchronicity got me on the camino that I couldn't not do it. The call was loud and clear and girl, when the camino calls, you have to answer. Not everyone will understand that. Which can be a little heart breaking. You only need your own permission and approval to go on great adventures!

buen camino...go out and let the camino have her way with you. It's nothing short of magical.

Hi, yes I am from the US and I totally get that "fear." I see it all the time. I'm definitely a little nervous but not enough to keep me from going. The call is so loud and clear haha

 

[The Austrian]

Your name tho....

 

[Paul J W]

Hi Iriebabel - it’s the perennial parent dilemma (not that it is necessarily a parent in your situation): the need to let go and allow the “child” to leave the nest. As a dad (and grandad) I know.
Please do not let any moral blackmail deter you; those who genuinely love you will be proud to see you embark on what should be an amazing journey.

 

[Paul J W]

Sorry, see above, not Iriebabel! Try: marrymeflyfree!

 

[Dorpie]

Welcome @marrymeflyfree ,

I wonder if a bit of the problem is that maybe the US perception of long distance walking is real wilderness walking, like the Appalacian and Pacific Crest Trails? The Camino really isn't at all like that, on those trails you may not hit a town in 3 days while on Camino it's rarely more than 3 miles!

I agree with others above that giving those who are concerned about what you're planning a better idea of what is actually involved is the way to go. Youtube can really be your friend here as you will find vlogs from people of all ages, genders, nationalities sharing their positive experiences.

Maybe also just reinforce to them your knowledge theat the world isn't all sunshine and unicorns and that you are well prepared in terms of personal safety etc.

Buen Camino,

Rob.

 

[Jeff Crawley]

Daughter No 1 is off to the US this Thursday to attend a wedding and then spend a week in New York and I'll be worried (needlessly no doubt) until she returns on the 31st.

On the other hand if she told me she was going to walk the CF solo I'd say fine, go ahead, wish I could come too. For one thing she's an independent Londoner who wouldn't do anything stupid and for another she's very sociable and would spend about 10 minutes "solo" before being absorbed into a group.

Parents are meant to worry about their children - it's in the job description. Offspring are meant to worry their parents - that, too, is in their job description.

Off you go, make lots of friends and take lots of photos to make the folks back home very jealous.

Say "Hello" to St James for me - I miss him already!

 

[Jeff Crawley]

Hi, yes I am from the US and I totally get that "fear." I see it all the time. I'm definitely a little nervous but not enough to keep me from going. The call is so loud and clear haha

You're "hard wired" to be nervous about strange things - that's why the human race didn't die out from being poisoned by strange berries or eaten by sabre-toothed tigers.

Compared with what your fellow Americans have been going through recently (Puerto Rico, Hawaii and Florida to name but a few) the Camino is a walk in the park.

After thought - rather than watching The Way with Martin Sheen (your parents might get put off by the swimming down alpine rivers episode) have a look at Andrew Suzuki's works "Beyond the Way" and "Don't Stop Walking" one heck of a nice guy.

 

[Deleted member 3000]

Does anybody have any tips or advice to help me ease their minds?

Ease YOUR mind; grow a tougher skin!

 

[Aidan21]

Now, the issue is my friends and family.

You nailed it - the issue is with your friends and family. It is they who have to deal with their issues. You cannot do that for them. By all means educate them, reassure them, arrange to stay in touch etc. But the Camino is part of your life's journey and you have to walk that walk. You will never be at peace if you listen to their fears and stay at home. Your Camino is part of you taking care of you. You are looking after the self by giving to yourself the great gift of having a Camino experience. It is not selfish to look after the self. It is essential. You need to do what you need to do, so just do it!!!! Be gentle with your friends and family, be understanding but also be firm. Do your thing, do not live the life someone else would have you live!!!
Enjoy the Camino.
Aidan

PS, one of the most common demographics I noticed the last time I was on the Frances was retired female pilgrims walking alone (or with one other) and a lot of them from the US. Also I have just returned from the US and I noticed a number of people walking about the street with side arms. Geez, now that is scary. The Camino is one of the safest places on Earth!!! Go, Go Go....

 

[Aesklepius]

Hi Marrymeflyfree. Welcome to the forum,...in many senses your Camino has already started. Now all that you need to do is get your boots on and start walking. Loads of folks have already expressed their experiences and knowledge of the safety of the Camino. If you’d like to share a view of the Camino with folks at home, I’d suggest the documentary: Walking the Camino: Six Ways to Santiago. http://caminodocumentary.org/ And maybe to share the chapter “On Children” from Khalil Gibran’s “The Prophet”. Fly free, and walk well. Buen Camino!! (btw, love your “handle” here...brought a big smile to my face as I settled into your post and the replies. Have a sweet day!)

 

[Rick of Rick and Peg]

Does anybody have any tips or advice to help me ease their minds?

This is terrible advice but you could tell everyone that you changed your mind and then go anyway. That will prevent you from living with their fears before and during the Camino. When done tell them that you had changed your mind again. Like I said, terrible advice.

 

[natefaith]

Welcome to the Forum, @marrymeflyfree ! Good question...if your family and friends truly want to be educated on the Camino, hopefully they'll be open to meeting with others that have walked, watching videos/ documentaries, or checking out other Camino resources so they can learn more about the Camino culture. After all, going on pilgrimage has historically meant going on one's own. If they're closed to finding out more, then it will be a tougher road for you. It sounds like you do value their opinion, so show them that you consistently make wise choices and try to live with good judgment and common sense. If they still hate the fact that you'll be walking the Camino solo (and don't trust what others might do to you) at least they'll trust that you'll handle situations well.

We have college students come walk the Camino as part of their school programs, and we tell them to use the phrase, "I'll be walking the Camino independently," rather than, "I'll be walking the Camino alone." Even if you start the Camino independently you're never really by yourself for very long if you're on the Camino Francés. Maybe that switch in terminology can help you as well.

Enjoy all the planning and Buen Camino!
Faith

 

[Jeff Crawley]

This is terrible advice but you could tell everyone that you changed your mind and then go anyway. That will prevent you from living with their fears before and during the Camino. When done tell them that you had changed your mind again. Like I said, terrible advice.

Subterfuge, I like it! But I think they'd be more worried when she didn't come home from work for over a month

 

[martin1ws]

... For instance, the homicide rate in the US is 8.5x worse than in Spain. I'd imagine you could find similar stats for most violent crimes...

Here is a link to some other statistics:
http://www.nationmaster.com/country-info/compare/Spain/United-States/Crime

 

[Sixwheeler]

What makes them think that you're going to be on your own? You will only be as solitary as you choose and everyone else there will be looking out for you.
Ultreïa

 

[Montana Jayne]

I’m a young, solo female planning on walking the Camino Frances sometime next year. I’m a flight attendant so I’m used to traveling and navigating the world by myself and I’ve also traveled abroad solo before. I prefer to travel solo. I feel a great deal of synchronicity in my life leading me to walk the Camino and I know it’s something I have to do!

Now, the issue is my friends and family. They have no problem with my job, but every time I talk about going abroad by myself there’s somebody who freaks out and immediately doesn’t want me to go. They feel it’s unsafe, especially in this situation because I’d be gone so long. I’m still going to follow my heart and I’ve tried educating my loved ones about the Camino but it would be nice if I had more support. Does anybody have any tips or advice to help me ease their minds? Thanks!

Ah, just tell the folks at home they can follow "your blog" each day. Then do a blog. My hubby and I were 69 & 71 and never left unsafe, and we were rarely alone... others just passed us by. Go, go, go! It was just more than awesome! Buen camino!

 

[Jeff Crawley]

Here is a link to some other statistics:
http://www.nationmaster.com/country-info/compare/Spain/United-States/Crime

Gee thanks, now I'm really glad my daughter's off to New York

 

[november_moon]

I am also a woman who travels a fair amount alone, and my advice is to not do anything to try to ease the fears of your family and friends. Just go. That might sound harsh and uncaring, but as others have said, people's fears are their fears. You are not responsible for easing their fears and really, many fearful people aren't actually interested in having their fears eased anyway, so trying to do so is just a fool's errand.

I have found that the only real way for people to get over their fears of you traveling alone is to see you go and come back in one piece - over and over again. They just get used to it and find something else to worry about.

 

[Murtagh]

I’m a young, solo female planning on walking the Camino Frances sometime next year. I’m a flight attendant so I’m used to traveling and navigating the world by myself and I’ve also traveled abroad solo before. I prefer to travel solo. I feel a great deal of synchronicity in my life leading me to walk the Camino and I know it’s something I have to do!

Now, the issue is my friends and family. They have no problem with my job, but every time I talk about going abroad by myself there’s somebody who freaks out and immediately doesn’t want me to go. They feel it’s unsafe, especially in this situation because I’d be gone so long. I’m still going to follow my heart and I’ve tried educating my loved ones about the Camino but it would be nice if I had more support. Does anybody have any tips or advice to help me ease their minds? Thanks![/QUOTE

This is a common enough problem.What I do is give my itinerary with contact phone numbers to my wife so she can follow my progress. I mail her (where possible) each day as I start out and evening as I arrive so she knows I am not lost. It also involves her in the walk! I also send photos.While you may want to cut off all contact and isolate yourself on the Camino , this is a small sacrifice to make and removes much of the well meant anxiety of those still at home and acts as a safety net for you too. Buen Camino, Murtagh

 

[Murtagh]

This is a common enough problem.What I do is give my itinerary with contact phone numbers to my wife so she can follow my progress. I mail her (where possible) each day as I start out and evening as I arrive so she knows I am not lost. It also involves her in the walk! I also send photos.While you may want to cut off all contact and isolate yourself on the Camino , this is a small sacrifice to make and removes much of the well meant anxiety of those still at home and acts as a safety net for you too. Buen Camino, Murtagh

 

[Lovely Betsy]

I’m a young, solo female planning on walking the Camino Frances sometime next year. I’m a flight attendant so I’m used to traveling and navigating the world by myself and I’ve also traveled abroad solo before. I prefer to travel solo. I feel a great deal of synchronicity in my life leading me to walk the Camino and I know it’s something I have to do!

Now, the issue is my friends and family. They have no problem with my job, but every time I talk about going abroad by myself there’s somebody who freaks out and immediately doesn’t want me to go. They feel it’s unsafe, especially in this situation because I’d be gone so long. I’m still going to follow my heart and I’ve tried educating my loved ones about the Camino but it would be nice if I had more support. Does anybody have any tips or advice to help me ease their minds? Thanks!

Hello
I downloaded the app Life360 onto my phone so any concerned or nosey family and friends could follow my movements and then I checked in when I reached the albergue each day.
My sister loved following me!

 

[Felicia V]

I’m a young, solo female planning on walking the Camino Frances sometime next year. I’m a flight attendant so I’m used to traveling and navigating the world by myself and I’ve also traveled abroad solo before. I prefer to travel solo. I feel a great deal of synchronicity in my life leading me to walk the Camino and I know it’s something I have to do!

Now, the issue is my friends and family. They have no problem with my job, but every time I talk about going abroad by myself there’s somebody who freaks out and immediately doesn’t want me to go. They feel it’s unsafe, especially in this situation because I’d be gone so long. I’m still going to follow my heart and I’ve tried educating my loved ones about the Camino but it would be nice if I had more support. Does anybody have any tips or advice to help me ease their minds? Thanks!

Ignore them. That's what I do....unless they pay my rent, I ignore them

 

[Rover]

I’m a young, solo female planning on walking the Camino Frances sometime next year. I’m a flight attendant so I’m used to traveling and navigating the world by myself and I’ve also traveled abroad solo before. I prefer to travel solo. I feel a great deal of synchronicity in my life leading me to walk the Camino and I know it’s something I have to do!

Now, the issue is my friends and family. They have no problem with my job, but every time I talk about going abroad by myself there’s somebody who freaks out and immediately doesn’t want me to go. They feel it’s unsafe, especially in this situation because I’d be gone so long. I’m still going to follow my heart and I’ve tried educating my loved ones about the Camino but it would be nice if I had more support. Does anybody have any tips or advice to help me ease their minds? Thanks!

It's difficult to change a mindset or loved one's fear of the unknown. Yes, there may be destinations where having a travel partner makes sense but as for the Camino, if one uses common sense it's perfectly safe. Beyond this, you'll probably find yourself going around in circles on this. It's best to tell them about the Camino's infrastructure . . . well marked trails, abundance of bars, alburgues and hotels and the any number of pilgrims who also traverse the Camino that you will encounter. Beyond, that, safe your breath and have a wonderful, transformative journey. Rover

 

[Beeman]

Mff, I waljed the primitivo last fall by myself,having never been to europe or even ever ridden a train! My wife was worried about the whole thing,but knew that it was no use trying to change my mind(what Snoopy called-singleness of purpose). I did not tell many others about my trip,as the average person cannot undetstand anything about the whole affair. I had the best time of my life and plan on returning next year. You sound like a sensible,reasonably-careful adult woman,who has to follow the siren that presents itself to you. Others can only follow their own paths,and not yours. I guarantee this camino of yours will be life-changing for you,as it was for me. My only advise is BUEN CAMINO!