Dad & Daughter(s)...Lessons Learned?

[TorontoGMan]

Hola Pelegrinos!
Wondering what you learned going with your daughter's (or sons, or grands) on the CF?
Completed CF this past July, and am excited my adult kids are now willing enough to want to go with the old man too!
Your thoughts?

 

[DoughnutANZ]

I wish! One of my daughters is too busy being a mum to two young children and the breadwinner to contemplate time off in Spain with her Dad and the other daughter has the time but is disinclined to live the pilgrim lifestyle.

I do have hopes for the future though

I wish you and your daughter(s) the very best Buen Camino!

 

[trecile]

After being Super Paranoid and getting a rough start, I'm so pleased that you are going again - and possibly with your daughters!

 

[Purky]

I only know a little about the Camino Ingles with a teenage son, but maybe there will be parallels. Buen camino!

 

[Antonius Vaessen]

I walked the Salvador with my daughter in 2017. It was very nice to spend a week with just the two of us. My daughter liked the walking, the landscape but less the staying in " dead villages" ( as she called them) where nothing much was happening in the afternoon/ evening. She liked it enough though to walk with me the first week of the Via de ka Plata ( her boyfriend will come too) I will continue to Salamanca

 

[P Steeper]

I started from Sarria with my 18 year old granddaughter last year. She hadn't been to Europe before so we flew into Paris for a few days before flying to Santiago. I had done the Camino Frances before and I picked Sarria as our starting point as I knew it was a very social section of the Camino.
In Paris it took me 2-3 days to realize she was very good at using the Metro and getting around the city and I started to relax about our trip. She was very excited about the Camino and enjoyed meeting people. She was always ahead of me and I would catch up with her at the next cafe. She would be talking to people at the cafe and it was good social experience for both of us. She made friends with several women of all ages. It was a good adventure for both of us and I'd recommend it.

 

[hokiebobwise]

I walked with my 19 year old son in July, Astorga to SdC. I was given great advice from this forum on allowing him to have independence, should he want it. By day 3, we were walking separately. We would pick a town to meet at and then decide final stopping point fie the night, then walk separate. By the 9th day we had both experienced what we had hoped and walked the last 3 days together. It was a magical time and our bond strengthened. I'm a doer and he is a go with the flow type. Thus, when we would get to our stopping point, he would rest up and siesta. I would explore and bring back snacks or tales of what I found. Sometimes, I went back to the place with him, and it became ever more magical.

Bob

 

[Mikeyg]

I walked Sarria to Santiago with my 9 year old daughter 5 years ago. I’ve walked several solo Caminos but this was my favourite experience. We didn’t rough it, staying in private rooms. The only proviso was that I had to take her rucksack if the climb was steep. We’ve since walked to Finisterre & she wants to do the full Francés when she’s done with GCSE’s. Magical bonding experience.

 

[Becky 59]

I did the Inglés with my 20 yr old daughter and husband in 2019. We all loved it, and she wants to go back to do the Francés at some point. She was amazed at the pilgrims who would share food with her and “adopt” her into their families. I think it helped bring her out of her introvert shell. She never mastered the art of packing her pack however; we were always the last to leave in the morning, as she would spread her belongings all over the floor between beds! She walked with my husband the first few days (similar walking speeds), then walked with other pilgrims or by herself, waiting for us at the cafes when she got hungry.

 

[grayland]

I walked the Primitivo with two of my grandsons (16 & 18).

 

[François Leemans]

Hola Pelegrinos!
Vraagt u zich af wat u hebt geleerd met uw dochter (of zonen, of kleinkinderen) op de CF?
Afgelopen juli CF afgerond en ik ben opgewonden dat mijn volwassen kinderen nu bereid genoeg zijn om ook met de oude man mee te willen gaan!
Wat denk je?

Ik ben al een paar camino's met mijn oudste dochter op pad geweest en het was plezant, zij kunnen nog héél veel leren van een oude man.

 

[JerryStroebele]

My daughter finished her Masters program in France while I was walking on the Camino Frances in 2022. So she joined me for our last 5 days walking. Delightful. Just this morning she decided to walk with me on the Camino Mozarabe from Malaga in February. Her Spanish is a whole lot better than mine. Muy bien! Our two sons, my daughter and her French husband have joined my wife and me on several caminos. It's a family thing. My French son in law and I walked the Chemin Arles and Camino Aragones in October. His French is a whole lot better than mine. Tres bien! Buen Camino

 

[PMSLAW]

Next June I will be one half of the "odd couple", me at 72 and grandson Britton at 15. My 4th Camino and his first. 10 years ago he asked us: "Grandpa and Grandma, why are you walking across Spain? They have CARS there!" Here is the link to the full story:
The First Step In Another Long Journey

 

[Peregrinopaul]

A shared experience like this with one of your adult children is exceptional. Both my sons have accompanied me on separate caminos.

 

[pjacobi]

To determine if you/partner/son/daughter/etc. can walk together, train at home together up to about 25Km per day over multiple days. If you can do this at home, you can walk together in Spain.

If you fail at home, it is not going to be magically easier in Spain.


-Paul

 

[Tandem Graham]

This year I walked from London to Rome, following the Via Francigena. The first five days, in England, and last fortnight, mainly in Tuscany, I was joined by Carol, my partner. For one middle week, including the ascent to St Bernard's Pass through the Alps, I was joined by Thomas, our son who is in his 30's.

Time with my son was particularly precious, since he has a busy working life and limited annual leave. He may not be a typical 30-something however, since his idea of fun is hiking in mountains, drinking in the views and eating well afterwards! The week in the Swiss Alps was where my camino addiction and his passion for the mountains intermingled. We had a great week together.

I treasured and still treasure my family's willingness to not just support my 12 week pilgrimage from a distance but indulge me with their company. I reflected afterwards that while walking on my own I relish the self-reliance and autonomy, but sometimes not the solitude (though I know that is contrary!).

 

[JerryStroebele]

I'm with Tandem Graham. When our daughter hit her young teens she quit backpacking and sailing with us. And ho boy, that was ok with us. A 25km walk with her anywhere? No way! But when she was 26 my wife and I told all our children we were off to the Camino she really surprised us and asked if she could come with us. Many wonderful Caminos with our adult children since. When no one is available to walk with me I enjoy hearing "Just go, Dad." Buen Camino

 

[Kiwi-family]

@TorontoGMan You have heard many examples of people walking with their kids, and only a few lessons. Maybe the big lesson is that is has been a wonderful experience for many! In your situation, it sounds like you will all be adults, so just treat each other as such! Be aware of your own needs and be considerate of theirs too. Communicate clearly. Where are your points of niggle in your non-camino life? They may well be the same on the camino. Or it might be completely different. We had one of our kids' uncles join us for part of one camino. I was a bit apprehensive because he's that fun uncle who rarks the kids up at Christmas and while I can cope with it for a day I did not know how I'd do for two weeks! Turned out it was completely different on the camino. For starters, he was exhausted (lol) and also, the relationships deepened beyond just joking around (although there was still plenty of that), which was very special.

 

[Sundevil]

I started in St. Jean Pied-de-Port on August 25th. My daughter joined me in Leon to walk the rest of the way to Santiago with me. After the second day she developed a problem with the arch in her right foot. We also found out she had a negative reaction to mosquito bites and develop a swelling on her eyelid and arms where mosquitos bit her. She found out that some people are allergic to certain mosquito salivsa. Who could have know ahead of time? I saw how she handled these adversities. She walked as much as she could and would take a taxi or bus to the next destination to wait for me. I learned so much about her toughness and overcoming these challenges. She was so good at finding bus schedules when she had to, or taking a cab on the days she could not walk. She was determined that we would walk the final day into Santiago together. We did, and it was such a satisfying feeling and one of accomplishment for both of us. I also was amazed how good her Spanish is, not having been in an environment where she could speak the language daily. Words cannot express how appreciative I am of her for what she did and how we both learned so much more about each other. I believe we strengthened the bond and love between us.

The disappointment for her was when I received my Compostela. She was disappointed that there was no fanfare for me. No cheers, no claps from anyone, no confetti or balloons. I found that amusing.

I would do it again. In fact, my wife and son were so inspired as they followed us on Signal, where I posted my thoughts every evening with some photos, that they want to walk it next spring. They want to walk from Sarria to Santiago. I hope we can do.

 

[JimDerry]

My wife and I walked CF from SJpdP in 2014. We enjoyed it so much we invited three of our kids to walk the route in 2015. They were all in their thirties and avid outdoor people so they kind of poo pooed it as too easy. It would have to be as we walked it in our mid 60's and made it the whole way! They consented finally, and we all started together in SJpdP. We walked together, one on one, alone and individually as everyone walks their own Camino. Both my wife and I had an opportunity to walk with each "child" and do some soul searching, laughter, sorrows. Great time to go over life's triumphs, struggles and surprises for each of us.
BTW, just two of them completed the journey and both suffered injuries as they overpacked, walked too fast and hard and didn't pay attention to their bodies! So much for the "too easy" route and listening to your parents!
Now their mom is gone and those are some of their fondest memories of their lifetime.
Just do it!

 

[donalomahony]

You might find this interesting!

This month we're reading: Buen Camino! by Natasha & Peter Murtagh

As part of our reading campaign, Books Are Good For You, each month we encourage our followers to read something different. This June, we recommend Buen Camino! A Father-Daughter Journey from Croagh Patrick to Santiago de Compostela, and we’re giving you a chance to win a copy of this remarkable...

www.gillbooks.ie

 

[Kiwi-d]

Something a little different - I walked the Camino Frances aged 69 and my two sons, one living in Austria and the other here in New Zealand would have loved to walk with me but couldn't get enough time off work. They both talked about it with me and told me they have decided they will one day in their retirement walk the Camino Frances together in my memory (I'm now 78 and too unwell to walk). My daughter, who has bad arthritis, has decided that although she can't walk the Camino, she will meet them somewhere along the way. I plan to be hovering over the three of them, saying 'No, that's not where I stopped, keep walking!'

 

[JerryStroebele]

Tell your sons they can walk two weeks at a time. Not quite perfecto but almost good enough. After they retire they can walk as long and far and as often as they like. Buen Camino

 

[Amused212]

Hola Pelegrinos!
Wondering what you learned going with your daughter's (or sons, or grands) on the CF?
Completed CF this past July, and am excited my adult kids are now willing enough to want to go with the old man too!
Your thoughts?

Walked the CF with my daughter. It was beyond wonderful. How often do you get to spend that much time with your adult child? Even better, for 8 weeks before we went to the CF we hiked twice a week to prepard. It was a shared adventure and I watched her be confident in her ability to roll with everything, no complaining, great problem solving, great company. I then walked from Santiago to Fiisterre and Muxia with another daughter - same experience. I will say that I have great relationships with my daughters so we were ahead of the game to begin with. I would do it with them again in a heartbeat.

 

[David Tallan]

Hola Pelegrinos!
Wondering what you learned going with your daughter's (or sons, or grands) on the CF?
Completed CF this past July, and am excited my adult kids are now willing enough to want to go with the old man too!
Your thoughts?

I walked with my 15/16 year old son in 2016 (his birthday was mid-Camino). I learned various things about him, but I assume those particulars aren't what you are after. I learned that you need to respect the people you are walking with, whatever their age, and give them some agency in the walk. This could be leaving them to use their free time after the walk as they please, or input into how far to walk each day. You can start out with some ground rules about how you will walk with each other, but be open to change them in the course of the walk. For example, we started with the ground rule that we didn't need to walk with each other but if one of us was walking ahead, they'd wait for the other to catch up at the entrance to the next town or village. That was changed later on to encourage us to walk together more.

We'll see how it is different when I walk with my daughter this coming summer.

I see you are from Toronto. Darlene, who organizes the Toronto Camino Community walks, walked with her daughter and grandkids earlier this year and has talked about it at local meetings here in Toronto and in the London CCOP chapter meeting. If you come along on one of the walks, I'm sure she'd be happy to chat with you. One of the challenges she found was a combination of kids' appetites and their dietary restrictions.

 

[Pronetowander]

I wish! One of my daughters is too busy being a mum to two young children and the breadwinner to contemplate time off in Spain with her Dad and the other daughter has the time but is disinclined to live the pilgrim lifestyle.

I do have hopes for the future though

I wish you and your daughter(s) the very best Buen Camino!

Buen Camino by Peter Murtagh and his 18 year old daughter Natasha would be a good read. They walked the Camino together and you can get both their perspectives.

 

[Keith H]

You might find this interesting!

This month we're reading: Buen Camino! by Natasha & Peter Murtagh

As part of our reading campaign, Books Are Good For You, each month we encourage our followers to read something different. This June, we recommend Buen Camino! A Father-Daughter Journey from Croagh Patrick to Santiago de Compostela, and we’re giving you a chance to win a copy of this remarkable...

www.gillbooks.ie

Great book! It was touching and very funny

 

[stevepjq]

I was on my Camino from SJPP in April, 2022. My 3rd eldest son is an author and high school English teacher in New Jersey. As a result, he is off for Easter week. His wife gifted me his presence for 10 days while he was off from work which amazed me even more given that they have 4 children. He met me on Good Friday in Sahagun and had to leave for home by the time we reached Villafranca del Bierzo. He is an experienced thru-hiker having walked the AT and others so the pace we kept was pretty aggressive (for me). Those 10 days were absolutely magical as we had very profound discussions. He had told me that he was there representing his 3 other siblings. I cried upon his departure and often ever since recalling these special days. I depart once again on April 18 to take a different path along with my wife. My 2nd eldest son is making plans to join up with us for a week.

 

[JerryStroebele]

Just this past week my adult daughter told me she could walk with me on the Camino Mozarabe from Malaga in February. She speaks much better Spanish than I do. Muy bien! Buen Camino

 

[Old Kiwi]

After listening to me raving on as to how great Caminos were, My daughter (54) came and did the SF with me. I made sure that she walked about half of each day on her own to get the real experience. Of course, like the rest of us, she got hooked and we are now doing the CP together next June-July. She will be 59 and I am 80.

 

[HeidiL]

My son walked with us for the first time when he was 8. After doing it again around 15 times, we're doing another week together at Easter. He is now 27.

He has learned a lot of English and Spanish, logistics and travel planning, sharing and being nice to people, and what you can actually do when you have no choice.

I have learned that I have a wonderful, helpful son, who worries about me and my bad knees, always offers me the bottom bunk, and can drink about twice as much as my husband with fewer effects.