It was 3am at work this morning and I had a moment of clarity regarding my trip (Le Puy to Cahors Sept 2020). It is still some months off and many, many things will change between now and then. I have been biding my time, as I do have the benefit of my departure being early September. However, I suddenly realised I wanted to make the decision to cancel of my own volition and not have it be a 'reactive' or forced decision if my circumstances alter to make it not possible to go.
Settle in with a cup of tea, this is going to be a long post, but hey, we are all to some extent practising social distancing, so have some time on our hands ;-)
My decision was influenced by:
*Zero insurance to cancel, zero COVID-related medical cover if I did choose to travel. Lesson learned, I shall be far more thorough when next purchasing a travel insurance policy.
* I am not so much worried about getting it myself, but would feel dreadful if I unknowingly spread it to anyone, let alone anyone who is compromised. I think international travel in the face of this disease seems counter productive to the attempts to flatten the curve of transmission. Traveling feels like a luxury and a privilege that I can forgo at this time with no regrets.
I would additionally not wish to overwhelm any health care system in a foreign country, particularly when they are overstretched caring for their own. If I were to be unwell, I would also want to be within my own healthcare system, speak my native tongue and have friends and relatives advocate for my care if I am unable. Walking solo in a foreign country not optimal for that.
* I am employed in a hospital. I am not retired, so my annual leave is finite. I have had to forgo holidays for a year (!) to be able to bank up enough leave to walk my Camino. This has a multilayered influence on my decision
1)Quarantine restrictions for my workplace are extremely strict, as they should be. I work with pregnant women and newborns. If I, my husband or one of our younger children still living at home catch it or are exposed to it, I will be excluded from employment for at least two weeks, requiring I access my banked leave. Touching any accrued annual leave at all will rule out being able to go on my Camino in September.
I don't want this extremely likely issue of needing to take leave to be a reactive deciding factor as I think my husband or children could feel that they were to 'blame' for my cancellation if this was the case. Of course logically that would not be the case at all. I love my family dearly and their needs are paramount, as is the safety of the vulerable population I work with, exclusions from school or work for all of us are a realistic eventuality. I would want to be ready to care for my family if needed due to illness or the need to isolate and to be able to enter into that time with willingness and an entirely open heart and not have that time tinged with even the slightest hint of disappointment about my trip.
2) I would consider that in rare circumstances of extreme pressure on the healthcare system, annual leave could be rescinded by my employer. In a previous severe flu season there was enforced overtime for nurses and midwives at a hospital near by to mine. If COVID19 overwhelms the system here as much as is predicted, in addition to healthcare workers contracting it or requiring quarantine themselves, there will be a great deficit in the workforce. I would expect that we certainly will be asked to do our 'duty' and work overtime, work extra shifts and just maybe not take annual leave either. The major COVID19 centre for my region is located within the same grounds as the unit/hospital I work in.
3) Selfishly, as annual leave of this length is such a treat, I would want to look forward to this incredible trip with joy and excited anticipation. Waiting for a holiday to happen and dreaming about it is often such an exciting part of the process for me...or am I just a weirdo?! With so many 'what if's' and sadness surrounding the lead in, I just want no part of it like this. I want to just decide not to, so I can move on and plan it some other time when the lead up can be as happy and exciting as my other big walks here in Australia have been.
* As mentioned in a previous post of mine, the MOTO GP race my husband had planned to meet up with me for and indeed the focus of the last two weeks of the holiday post Camino, has been moved outside of our dates due to COVID19, we have lost the ticket cost already.
* Economically this trip for me has been an exercise in living simply and focusing to save every dollar that I can. We are happy and live comfortably but are not wealthy, a trip like this is a big deal. If we financially fall short due to any lost wages , I want to have some savings to access. The money I do have saved already for my France/Spain trip now gives me a little bit of a buffer in these challenging times should we need it.
* Yes, I have already paid for some of my accomodation in France and Spain as well as my ETIHAD flight, but it is still in the scheme of things something unimportant to me when things get 'real' as they are now with this pandemic. Family, health, caring and protecting those I love are what makes me the happiest, so I strangely feel good making the decision not to travel this year .