Camino Blues....
When I Finished my first long Camino I wrote what I left you here today.
Hope you find it means something for you all, my Camino brothers.
Excuse my english and accept my feelings
"Yesterday I finished El
Camino de Santiago.
Today is a day of rest and return.
Today I can get up at any time I want and enjoy Santiago to my liking.
But customs are customs and I wake up at seven.
Of course, today I have a long breakfast and after preparing my backpack for the plane for the last time, I go to Santiago to do some sightseeing.
When stepping on the streets, pilgrims are already arriving at the Plaza del Obradoiro. I look at them with the until now habitual face of camaraderie and complicity, I even greet them with the usual until yesterday "Buen Camino!... but it's not the same anymore.
Today I am no longer an active pilgrim (I stress the word "active", because once a pilgrim you are a pilgrim all your life). Now I am no more than an ordinary tourist; although worse dressed than average.
For the first time since yesterday I am aware that my pilgrimage is over. And it hurts me.
It has been just over three intense and wonderful weeks. Absolutely different from what I am used to, demanding, hard and at the same time revitalizing and full.
I have shared sweat, steps and efforts with people from places as different as Korea, France, Switzerland, Italy, Germany, Alaska or South Africa. Even some occasional Spanish!
I have learned that if your task for the day is to walk 20 or 30 kilometers, then you walk them and that's all.
I have discovered how good a bit of York ham and some walnuts taste in the shade of a tree when you are tired.
I've learned to endure and even enjoy the rain on your face and the mud that won't let you lift your feet.
I have seen my shadow, companion on the way, always walking ahead of me, from East to West, marking the route.
I have experienced that the best thing against foot pain is to keep walking. They don't hurt less, but you even get used to the pain.
I have suffered the agony of the steep slopes, knowing that sooner or later I will reach the top and then everything will be easier. After the toughest climb always comes something better.
I have known the joy of seeing the end of a long stage already a stone's throw away and knowing that the rest you deserve is near.
I have learned that if you know how to search, there is always a yellow arrow that shows you the right path.
I have felt anger and even fear walking on the verge of roads packed with vehicles and pure delight walking lonely lanes through lush forests.
I have been relieved to see the tip of a church tower appear among the wheat fields, indicating that the destination is near.
I have changed the face to pure happiness to find the person I love the most (my wife) in the most unexpected moment and the most unexpected place.
I have felt what it is to be alone and enjoy solitude and I have felt what it is to be alone and to be homesick and missing my family.
I have seen that as important as reaching the goal is to enjoy the way to it. The goal is nothing without the path that leads you to it and the path is meaningless if you are not clear about the goal.
And I have discovered that you should not try to find out what your reason is for following the path, because there is never a single reason for following it.
Pilgrims don't need to talk about their reasons for making the way. They just follow it, because they know deep inside that they have to. ¿Why?...sometimes even yourself does not know why. But if the Camino calls you, you will will eventualy discover the reason while walking.
The road has been there for many centuries, and if it calls you, the best thing to do is to go and start by putting one foot forward, and then the other, and then the other again and again...
You will surely discover that the path has something to offer you.
The path is always there. Only you are missing.