Be the one who... (advice for maximizing Camino experience)

[Damien Reynolds]

My first couple of trips were with family, and the joys and pains of the way were shared within a discrete group.

I learned later, after walking a bit, that the joys can be spread, the pains diminished by:

1. Being the one who looks out for like minded or lonely individuals and inviting them to dinner. Sometimes, this one act will not only propel my own joy, but I imagine also propels the joy of a soul met along the way. I have been lonely before, and this act by two women in Merida changed my whole outlook on the experience one year.

2. Talks to the locals. A little bit of local knowledge and advice goes hand and hand with advice received on internet forums. Richer experience gained.

3. Starts up a conversation. If you hear English from a peregrino group you walk past, or can just tell an English speaker by appearance... Say hi. (I only speak of English speakers because that is my native tongue, if you speak some other, and hear them, then by all means start up a conversation too.)

4. Jumps at the chance at a communal meal. Do it. Those communal meal moments are at the tops of my list of memories.

5. Respects your surroundings. I see myself as a guest in Spain along the walk. I admire the infrastructure provided. I never complain, and willfully contribute to the economic benefit of those who provide comfort to peregrinos.

6. Stays at a Monestery. You have to try it once. Only once. Because mostly, IMO, they suck. Still, its cool to see the spartan side and be able to tell your friends you hung out with monks.

Any other opinions?

 

[movinmaggie]

My first couple of trips were with family, and the joys and pains of the way were shared within a discrete group.

I learned later, after walking a bit, that the joys can be spread, the pains diminished by:

1. Being the one who looks out for like minded or lonely individuals and inviting them to dinner. Sometimes, this one act will not only propel my own joy, but I imagine also propels the joy of a soul met along the way. I have been lonely before, and this act by two women in Merida changed my whole outlook on the experience one year.

2. Talks to the locals. A little bit of local knowledge and advice goes hand and hand with advice received on internet forums. Richer experience gained.

3. Starts up a conversation. If you hear English from a peregrino group you walk past, or can just tell an English speaker by appearance... Say hi. (I only speak of English speakers because that is my native tongue, if you speak some other, and hear them, then by all means start up a conversation too.)

4. Jumps at the chance at a communal meal. Do it. Those communal meal moments are at the tops of my list of memories.

5. Respects your surroundings. I see myself as a guest in Spain along the walk. I admire the infrastructure provided. I never complain, and willfully contribute to the economic benefit of those who provide comfort to peregrinos.

6. Stays at a Monestery. You have to try it once. Only once. Because mostly, IMO, they suck. Still, its cool to see the spartan side and be able to tell your friends you hung out with monks.

Any other opinions?

Lovely comments...until #6.

 

[Peter Fransiscus]

My first couple of trips were with family, and the joys and pains of the way were shared within a discrete group.

I learned later, after walking a bit, that the joys can be spread, the pains diminished by:

1. Being the one who looks out for like minded or lonely individuals and inviting them to dinner. Sometimes, this one act will not only propel my own joy, but I imagine also propels the joy of a soul met along the way. I have been lonely before, and this act by two women in Merida changed my whole outlook on the experience one year.

2. Talks to the locals. A little bit of local knowledge and advice goes hand and hand with advice received on internet forums. Richer experience gained.

3. Starts up a conversation. If you hear English from a peregrino group you walk past, or can just tell an English speaker by appearance... Say hi. (I only speak of English speakers because that is my native tongue, if you speak some other, and hear them, then by all means start up a conversation too.)

4. Jumps at the chance at a communal meal. Do it. Those communal meal moments are at the tops of my list of memories.

5. Respects your surroundings. I see myself as a guest in Spain along the walk. I admire the infrastructure provided. I never complain, and willfully contribute to the economic benefit of those who provide comfort to peregrinos.

6. Stays at a Monestery. You have to try it once. Only once. Because mostly, IMO, they suck. Still, its cool to see the spartan side and be able to tell your friends you hung out with monks.

Any other opinions?

Hi Damien, I like your comments exept #6.
Wish you well, Peter.

 

[Niels]

Well, go on then ... You just can't write, 'until #6', and leave it there. I'll be leaving in six weeks, and plan to stay in as many monasteries as possible. In my opinion, lifts up my spiritual Camino experience, but I know, they're not always the best albergues to stay. And that's what # 6 is about, but Franciscus and movinmaggie, try to tell us why you think, we should stay at the monasteries ...

 

[Tincatinker]

Well, go on then ... tell us why you think, we should stay at the monasteries ...

Bit of history; bit of sufferance; bit of 'paying it forward', bit of... why would you not? If you are walking to Santiago and at the end of your day there is a bed why would you not take that bed? If you have the legs to walk further or the funds to pay the innkeeper then leave that bed for the pilgrim in need.

Or take Damien's approach and try anything once 'other than incest or country dancing'.

 

[nreyn12]

Nice Damien! I would add, be the one who sets the tone of kindness, graciousness, and gratitude in words and actions.

 

[movinmaggie]

Well, go on then ... You just can't write, 'until #6', and leave it there. I'll be leaving in six weeks, and plan to stay in as many monasteries as possible. In my opinion, lifts up my spiritual Camino experience, but I know, they're not always the best albergues to stay. And that's what # 6 is about, but Franciscus and movinmaggie, try to tell us why you think, we should stay at the monasteries ...

Bit of history; bit of sufferance; bit of 'paying it forward', bit of... why would you not? If you are walking to Santiago and at the end of your day there is a bed why would you not take that bed? If you have the legs to walk further or the funds to pay the innkeeper then leave that bed for the pilgrim in need.

Or take Damien's approach and try anything once 'other than incest or country dancing'.

 

[mspath]

As a guide to setting our pilgrim tone these three quotes from the Buddha seem most approriate.

"No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path."

“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, nor to worry about the future, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.”

“Set your heart on doing good. Do it over and over again, and you will be filled with joy.”

 

[J F Gregory]

Bit of history; bit of sufferance; bit of 'paying it forward', bit of... why would you not? If you are walking to Santiago and at the end of your day there is a bed why would you not take that bed? If you have the legs to walk further or the funds to pay the innkeeper then leave that bed for the pilgrim in need.

Or take Damien's approach and try anything once 'other than incest or country dancing'.

Nothing wrong about county dancing, That is what we learned at barn parties growing up.

 

[IDBluebird77]

My first couple of trips were with family, and the joys and pains of the way were shared within a discrete group.

I learned later, after walking a bit, that the joys can be spread, the pains diminished by:

1. Being the one who looks out for like minded or lonely individuals and inviting them to dinner. Sometimes, this one act will not only propel my own joy, but I imagine also propels the joy of a soul met along the way. I have been lonely before, and this act by two women in Merida changed my whole outlook on the experience one year.

2. Talks to the locals. A little bit of local knowledge and advice goes hand and hand with advice received on internet forums. Richer experience gained.

3. Starts up a conversation. If you hear English from a peregrino group you walk past, or can just tell an English speaker by appearance... Say hi. (I only speak of English speakers because that is my native tongue, if you speak some other, and hear them, then by all means start up a conversation too.)

4. Jumps at the chance at a communal meal. Do it. Those communal meal moments are at the tops of my list of memories.

5. Respects your surroundings. I see myself as a guest in Spain along the walk. I admire the infrastructure provided. I never complain, and willfully contribute to the economic benefit of those who provide comfort to peregrinos.

6. Stays at a Monestery. You have to try it once. Only once. Because mostly, IMO, they suck. Still, its cool to see the spartan side and be able to tell your friends you hung out with monks.

Any other opinions?

I am in the early stages of soul searching my Camino, and I really appreciate this. It is so easy for me to keep my head down in my "real life" and miss the opportunities to connect with others. I feel that this is partly what is leading me to do this so I appreciate your insights.

I recently watched a youtube video of someone's Camino experience and heard this quoted:

" The Camino is God's dream for how people should be when they are with each other. "

 

[efdoucette]

#? Leave the kitchen cleaner than when you arrive.

#?+1 Compliment a local on their garden.

#?+2 Smile and say Hola to everyone.

#?+3 Walk with an open heart.

 

[JennyH94]

Great thread Damien - wonderful food for thought. I'll add a few : be the one who ...

* Takes great pleasure in small things - eg the welcome shower when you get settled at the albergue, the deliciousness of the jamon and the vino tinto;

* Takes great pleasure in HUGE things - eg those huge Spanish skies; the fact that you're on magical paths that have been walked by pilgrims for so many centuries;

* Takes great pleasure in EVERYTHING - making the most of every moment and every experience you have on the Camino.

Cheers - Jenny

 

[Mark Lee]

Yeah, had chances to do #6 as well on my Caminos and declined because yeah, honestly it sounded like it sucks. Don't dig that whole silence, lights out early, mandatory wake up time, etc scene. Did that type of sufferance already in boot camp, ha ha. Also I heard there was one where they wash your feet. Nah....
Not many things about the way a monk lives that I ever liked, and always tried to definitely avoid sacrificing one or two of things they do.

 

[AJ]

Yeah, had chances to do #6 as well on my Caminos and declined because yeah, honestly it sounded like it sucks. Don't dig that whole silence, lights out early, mandatory wake up time, etc scene.

Where did you get your information from? This is not my experience of staying with the monks or nuns. I'll never forget the party nuns at Clairvaux on the Via Francigena.

 

[efdoucette]

Where did you get your information from? This is not my experience of staying with the monks or nuns. I'll never forget the party nuns at Clairvaux on the Via Francigena.

Agree, stayed at many convents on the VF, the nuns are top shelf, really interesting people. Even the secluded nuns (of 16 and 40 years in seclusion) we met were very informed people, great memories.

 

[Anemone del Camino]

Agree, stayed at many convents on the VF, the nuns are top shelf, really interesting people. Even the secluded nuns (of 16 and 40 years in seclusion) we met were very informed people, great memories.

Isn't the whole point of being in seclusion not being in contact with the outside world? Never heard of a secluded convent that allowed visitors in. Interesting.

 

[Donna Sch]

Monasteries and parroquial albergues are amongst the best places to stay. Hebrews 13:2 has become one of my favourite biblical verses as a result for this agnostic: "Don't forget to show hospitality to strangers, for in doing so, some have entertained angels without knowing it." I think pilgrims have a much better experience when we keep this in mind as well. Whether it is leaving some spare food for the next pilgrim or sharing with a new camino buddy or just saying Hola and attempting to have a conversation in limited bad Spanish with the locals.

 

[CaminoDebrita]

Be the one who avoids complaining, no matter the difficulty.

Be the one who offers to photograph the solo traveller when at special places! (the whole journey is so special).

Be the one holding the orange to the person below, climbing the difficult incline.

Be the one who helps others get their water out of annoying and inconvenient side pockets.

Be the one who offers chocolate to others, even the stingy grouchy ones who never share!

Be the one who declines participating in ANY gossip about others, including the snorers, while out on the trail.

Be the kind one!

 

[DaddyLonglegs]

Monasteries and parroquial albergues are amongst the best places to stay. Hebrews 13:2 has become one of my favourite biblical verses as a result for this agnostic: "Don't forget to show hospitality to strangers, for in doing so, some have entertained angels without knowing it."

Or to paraphrase as the Shakespeare Bookshop in Paris says: "Be not unkind to strangers less they be Angels in disguise."

 

[Albertagirl]

Be the one who listens, the one who shares.
Be the one who cares for the needy, with first aid and with response to the particular needs of those she meets.
Be the one who walks to the nearest albergue or clinic with a sick pilgrim, even if it involves walking back on her route.
Be the one who cares for herself as necessary, acknowledging her own weakness.
Be the one who is grateful for the wisdom acquired on camino and acts on her new understanding.
Be the one who walks in joy and rests in the beauty of the camino, the one who smiles a lot and laughs at every opportunity.

 

[Millszey]

My first couple of trips were with family, and the joys and pains of the way were shared within a discrete group.

I learned later, after walking a bit, that the joys can be spread, the pains diminished by:

1. Being the one who looks out for like minded or lonely individuals and inviting them to dinner. Sometimes, this one act will not only propel my own joy, but I imagine also propels the joy of a soul met along the way. I have been lonely before, and this act by two women in Merida changed my whole outlook on the experience one year.

2. Talks to the locals. A little bit of local knowledge and advice goes hand and hand with advice received on internet forums. Richer experience gained.

3. Starts up a conversation. If you hear English from a peregrino group you walk past, or can just tell an English speaker by appearance... Say hi. (I only speak of English speakers because that is my native tongue, if you speak some other, and hear them, then by all means start up a conversation too.)

4. Jumps at the chance at a communal meal. Do it. Those communal meal moments are at the tops of my list of memories.

5. Respects your surroundings. I see myself as a guest in Spain along the walk. I admire the infrastructure provided. I never complain, and willfully contribute to the economic benefit of those who provide comfort to peregrinos.

6. Stays at a Monestery. You have to try it once. Only once. Because mostly, IMO, they suck. Still, its cool to see the spartan side and be able to tell your friends you hung out with monks.

Any other opinions?

I really enjoyed this post and will make sure to take your advice to make my Camino in September a positive and rich experience. Thank u!

 

[Anemone del Camino]

Be the one who listens, the one who shares.
Be the one who cares for the needy, with first aid and with response to the particular needs of those she meets.
Be the one who walks to the nearest albergue or clinic with a sick pilgrim, even if it involves walking back on her route.
Be the one who cares for herself as necessary, acknowledging her own weakness.
Be the one who is grateful for the wisdom acquired on camino and acts on her new understanding.
Be the one who walks in joy and rests in the beauty of the camino, the one who smiles a lot and laughs at every opportunity.

May I like exponentilly?

Just be the respestful one, the quiet one when someone is observing birds, the sober one who doesn't require a mop in the middle of the night (I've been the one woken who got the mop ), the one who invites, the one who melts i to the background, the one people hope to bump into again, not run away from, even if you are the loudest snorer.

 

[efdoucette]

Isn't the whole point of being in seclusion not being in contact with the outside world? Never heard of a secluded convent that allowed visitors in. Interesting.

They are committed to their beliefs and would not leave the convent, but hosted pilgrims. One nun was in seclusion 16 years, another travelled out of country twice and otherwise in seclusion 40 years.

 

[Icacos]

Be the one who is soothed by others snoring, for thee shall have good rest.

 

[Stellaluna]

Bit of history; bit of sufferance; bit of 'paying it forward', bit of... why would you not? If you are walking to Santiago and at the end of your day there is a bed why would you not take that bed? If you have the legs to walk further or the funds to pay the innkeeper then leave that bed for the pilgrim in need.

Or take Damien's approach and try anything once 'other than incest or country dancing'.

You made me laugh out loud. thank you.

 

[Stellaluna]

Nothing wrong about county dancing, That is what we learned at barn parties growing up.

Here's to country dancing! *hoists glass*

 

[Damien Reynolds]

Ok, I feel down a little about my own #6. I woke up with a lump in my throat thinking about it and am sorry to offend. I did not mean to disrespect the Monasteries, but in my experience those are not the most comfortable places to stay. In my recollection (having stayed at 3 or 5) they do not have heat, the blankets are suspect, the showers are not the equivalent you'd find elsewhere, and they haven't been very clean.

Still again, at Samos, the art is amazing. And the spiritual experience is worth it. At least once.

7. Buys a round for the group if you can afford it. I remember spending a night in O'Cebriero, and this pilot and his bride were loving the company of an eclectic and singing group, and to keep it going he paid for another round of house wine for everybody. It probably cost him $20, but it was special for all of us.

8. Stays at a hotel on occasion. Now this is kinda controversial, but, if you are feeling down, maybe sick to your stomach, or feeling tendinitis, worn out, whatever, do not feel guilty about checking into a local one star or two. (or 3 or 4)... You'll get your own bathroom, or shower, and a chance to take a break from it all and recharge (and it is way cheaper than a crappy Marriot Express in the US). I have found that my hotel stays v. alburgue stays ratio has increased over the years, and I only feel a little bit guilty about it.

9. Shares your experiences with others. Believe me, your facebook friends or others will be inspired.

10. Comes back here to our delightful forum and offers your own guidance as to how to make the Camino amazing. And in like two weeks or two months, after returning, you'll be checking out airline schedules and new routes to try.

Damien

 

[michael heitzman]

This is a truly inspiring thread. I've been going over list after list of things I need to do or prepare before the Camino and so far this is the most important. Might even have to try some of these old, dank, monasteries. Couldn't be worse than sleeping under tree during a rainstorm.

 

[nellpilgrim]

This is a truly inspiring thread. I've been going over list after list of things I need to do or prepare before the Camino and so far this is the most important. Might even have to try some of these old, dank, monasteries. Couldn't be worse than sleeping under tree during a rainstorm.

Now the thoughts of monks scooting around the cloisters is one that puts a smile on my face. As to monasteries being cold and dank….well, as I'm happily heading off just now for a swim in the Irish sea (no wetsuit that's for softies) I guess I'm not in a position to judge

 

[michael heitzman]

Now the thoughts of monks scooting around the cloisters is one that puts a smile on my face. As to monasteries being cold and dank….well, as I'm happily heading off just now for a swim in the Irish sea (no wetsuit that's for softies) I guess I'm not in a position to judge

The offer still stands for you

 

[Albertagirl]

I stayed at Samos in November - the other two albergues in town were closed. It was cold and dank, partly because of a freshly washed below ground level stone floor. I decided not to shower, because of a co-ed bathroom and a very cold and damp albergue. There were lots of clean wool blankets, one of which I used to supplement my sleeping bag. In the morning, I gave thanks for my blanket by collecting and folding blankets which other pilgrims had left strewn around the room. Late in the evening, some newly arrived pilgrims decided that they were not content with upper bunks and tore down the plastic tape that was blocking off much of the room to give them access to bottom bunks. The albergue was donativo and my impression was that donations may not have been generous. My question is not: "Why stay in monasteries?" but "Why do the monasteries put up with us?" I suppose that the only answer is that they have got used to us over the last millennium or so.

 

[solotraveller]

My first couple of trips were with family, and the joys and pains of the way were shared within a discrete group.

I learned later, after walking a bit, that the joys can be spread, the pains diminished by:

1. Being the one who looks out for like minded or lonely individuals and inviting them to dinner. Sometimes, this one act will not only propel my own joy, but I imagine also propels the joy of a soul met along the way. I have been lonely before, and this act by two women in Merida changed my whole outlook on the experience one year.

2. Talks to the locals. A little bit of local knowledge and advice goes hand and hand with advice received on internet forums. Richer experience gained.

3. Starts up a conversation. If you hear English from a peregrino group you walk past, or can just tell an English speaker by appearance... Say hi. (I only speak of English speakers because that is my native tongue, if you speak some other, and hear them, then by all means start up a conversation too.)

4. Jumps at the chance at a communal meal. Do it. Those communal meal moments are at the tops of my list of memories.

5. Respects your surroundings. I see myself as a guest in Spain along the walk. I admire the infrastructure provided. I never complain, and willfully contribute to the economic benefit of those who provide comfort to peregrinos.

6. Stays at a Monestery. You have to try it once. Only once. Because mostly, IMO, they suck. Still, its cool to see the spartan side and be able to tell your friends you hung out with monks.

Any other opinions?

 

[Andpartner]

Be the one who...... Apologises having hurt someone's feelings, better to be kind than right...... A challenging lesson for me, still learning......

 

[solotraveller]

agree on every bit.. no exeption..
well done Damien!

 

[Rebekah Scott]

the best thing about adopting these attitudes and actions on the Camino is they translate so beautifully and easily into "real life" once you go home.
This is what they mean by "the Camino changed my life." You do all the above, you'll be a generally nice person, and most people will like you a whole lot more!

 

[zzotte]

It's was lovely until I hit #6

Zzotte

 

[domigee]

On the Via Francigena in Wisques, I booked my walking companion in the Monastery whilst I stayed in the Abbeye with the nuns. When chatting with the lovely nun who greets visitors, she exclaimed 'oh my dear, we cannot possibly let him stay there with the monks! They are sooooo austere. Tell him to come here!'
I thought he'd cope fine so I didn't.
He still talks about it!

Btw if any of you ever go through Wisques, I thoroughly recommend a stay in the Abbaye, the nun's singing is heavenly if anything.

 

[Michael Caleigh]

Now that is a wonderful thread and I am taking notes. I feel intrigued now and want to sleep in a monastery

 

[dee bright]

Ok, I feel down a little about my own #6. I woke up with a lump in my throat thinking about it and am sorry to offend. I did not mean to disrespect the Monasteries, but in my experience those are not the most comfortable places to stay. In my recollection (having stayed at 3 or 5) they do not have heat, the blankets are suspect, the showers are not the equivalent you'd find elsewhere, and they haven't been very clean.

Still again, at Samos, the art is amazing. And the spiritual experience is worth it. At least once.

7. Buys a round for the group if you can afford it. I remember spending a night in O'Cebriero, and this pilot and his bride were loving the company of an eclectic and singing group, and to keep it going he paid for another round of house wine for everybody. It probably cost him $20, but it was special for all of us.

8. Stays at a hotel on occasion. Now this is kinda controversial, but, if you are feeling down, maybe sick to your stomach, or feeling tendinitis, worn out, whatever, do not feel guilty about checking into a local one star or two. (or 3 or 4)... You'll get your own bathroom, or shower, and a chance to take a break from it all and recharge (and it is way cheaper than a crappy Marriot Express in the US). I have found that my hotel stays v. alburgue stays ratio has increased over the years, and I only feel a little bit guilty about it.

9. Shares your experiences with others. Believe me, your facebook friends or others will be inspired.

10. Comes back here to our delightful forum and offers your own guidance as to how to make the Camino amazing. And in like two weeks or two months, after returning, you'll be checking out airline schedules and new routes to try.

Damien

Thanks for all your great suggestions, Damien -- and many of you others as well! I'm doing my first Camino in just 7 weeks (Yikes!!!) and want to be the person others feel drawn to, enjoy being with, and see as helpful and encouraging. These are great reminders for me.

 

[AJ]

On the Via Francigena in Wisques, I booked my walking companion in the Monastery whilst I stayed in the Abbeye with the nuns. When chatting with the lovely nun who greets visitors, she exclaimed 'oh my dear, we cannot possibly let him stay there with the monks! They are sooooo austere. Tell him to come here!'
I thought he'd cope fine so I didn't.
He still talks about it!

Btw if any of you ever go through Wisques, I thoroughly recommend a stay in the Abbaye, the nun's singing is heavenly if anything.

I stayed with the monks at Abbaye St Paul. The nuns at Abbaye Notre Dame were full with a school group. I ate with the monks in their refectory. According to my journal the meal was: thin mushroom soup; lettuce and terrine; fruit salad; bread water and a bottle of beer. This was their evening meal which is not their main meal of the day.

 

[Ahhhs]

Be the one who is not in such a hurry to "get there".
Slow down. Appreciate and enjoy all of it.

 

[domigee]

I stayed with the monks at Abbaye St Paul. The nuns at Abbaye Notre Dame were full with a school group. I ate with the monks in their refectory. According to my journal the meal was: thin mushroom soup; lettuce and terrine; fruit salad; bread water and a bottle of beer. This was their evening meal which is not their main meal of the day.

Oh how wonderful you were there too! Your meal sounds even better that at the Abbaye Notre-Dame. Were you there with the elderly monks? We were there in July 2014 when it was a newly arrived order, hence the worry of the nuns about the 'austerity'. I think my friend was left a tray.

 

[Urban Trekker]

Lots of wisdom and words of experience here. #6 is a one mans opinion. If the opportunity presents itself I will stay at a monastery or Abbye and decide for myself . Buen Camino

Happy Trails

 

[AJ]

Oh how wonderful you were there too! Your meal sounds even better that at the Abbaye Notre-Dame. Were you there with the elderly monks? We were there in July 2014 when it was a newly arrived order, hence the worry of the nuns about the 'austerity'. I think my friend was left a tray.

I was there in 2011. I didn't find it particularly austere. Most of the monks were elderly.

 

[domigee]

Yes, that explains it. The new monks (from Fontgombault) moved in the Abbaye on 10th October 2013 and from the 11th October introduced their own rites and customs. They advised me not to stay as I would have to be isolated somewhere in the grounds and would not be able to have a meal (being a woman, obviously).

 

[CaminoDebrita]

Be the one who resists being the one who started further away on the trail, and wants to make sure everyone knows about it!

 

[Sue Blue Mountains]

This is a truly inspiring thread. I've been going over list after list of things I need to do or prepare before the Camino and so far this is the most important. Might even have to try some of these old, dank, monasteries. Couldn't be worse than sleeping under tree during a rainstorm.

I'm with you Michael - I'm walking in 10 days time and will look forward to monasteries, just as pilgrims of old probably did.
I'm loving this thread - best yet! I want to just 'go quietly and kindly'. Feeling great already and haven't started yet!