"You talk too much about the Camino"

[Skandinaviangirl]

Hi everyone,

So I walked in aug-sep 2015 with my boyfriend, who I love very deeply. We have been together for 3 years.

I tend to be very enthusiastic about our trip and I love to relive memories with him, or share some news from the way and generally I just like to talk about it. It's becoming a very big part of me, because I grew a lot personally on the way and after, and I want to go again this summer.

But today he dropped this on me; "You talk too much about the Camino. You talk about it at least once every day and it annoys me every time. It makes me not wanting to go with you again." - I tried to explain that I have no other that him to share my thoughts with, because no other would understand. He became very angry and didn't want to talk with me.

Now I'm by myself and very upset. Well, if I can't share my thoughts and anecdotes from the way with him, then who?? I've talked with a lot of people about it, but they quickly change the subject, and I don't want them to be annoyed by me, so I don't do it too often either.

Am I crazy? The one man which I shared the whole experience with, which I actually CHOSE to share my experience with, because he asked me, if he could go with me, don't want to talk with me about it?

After we came home from the way, he spoke so rarely about it, every time he actually did surprised me. I didn't talk about it at that time either, but that was because I was afraid to be too much.

I didn't know I was a pain in the a** all this time.

Have some of you experienced this? What did you do?

Much love from Scandinavia.

 

[Anniesantiago]

hahaha! Join the club!
It is such a life-changing experience for some of us that we tend to just blather about it.
It's hard to rein in the enthusiasm.

I don't think you're a pain in the coo at all!
Keep on talking!
Maybe volunteer?
Help others?

 

[ManyMiles2Go]

Or better yet, don't talk about it. . . write about it. Create a blog. Put all your thoughts and memories into the blog, and then post the blog address here so the rest of us can read it. We can "talk" to you about it by posting replies on you blog or here on the forum. You will never have a lack of enthusiastic ears on this forum

 

[MichaelB10398]

Writing a blog that shares your feelings, emotions, thoughts, and ideas about the Camino and the impact it had on your life would be an excellent alternative than talking about it to those around you that have expressed some lack of interest.

It is hard for all of us that have fallen in love with Camino. There is an old saying, "Knowledge is knowing what to say, wisdom is knowing when to say it."

I often think of us pilgrims as cups that are running over with joy. We are so excited about our experience that we share it with everyone, again, and again, and again. It can become a little overwhelming for others. They think of us as having a one-track mind - the Camino. We need to learn to be silent - silent in the way it was on the Mesata - that calmness that allowed us to breath it all in without any need to speak. We need to learn to be wise and share our experience when others are interested or at least open to hearing about what or why our heart is so full. Does that make sense?

 

[sabbott]

Maybe he didn't enjoy it as much as you did? Sounds like the Camino was your idea, and he asked to go with you, so maybe it was harder for him then he let on. I can understand why you are upset, and there's nothing wrong with you for being so passionate about your time on the Camino. Sharing and telling stories about a powerful experience is a way to make sense of it, relive it, and make the lessons you learned part of your present life. Manymiles2go has a good idea, write it all down.

 

[Isca-camigo]

I met a girl on the Camino and had a little relationship for a while with her when we returned to our homes, I used to talk about the Camino to her but realised it annoyed her, the difference being that I had a special time on it and she struggled, so for her she did not want to revisit it. Last year 2 close friends made a long pilgrimage over 3 months, when they came back they were not speaking to each other and did not want to talk about it. If your boyfriend only walked it too be close to you he may have disliked the actual experience of the camino so does not want to revisit it. If you want to be with him you might just have to accept it , personally I would see it as a future chance to walk the Camino by yourself and gain more space to develop from it.

 

[camino07]

I look forward to our Camino group meetings because they all feel as I do and we can talk about it knowing others are interested .I have to be careful not to bore others and I was once told I was boasting when I talked about walking 800 kms.
Now I dont' mention it unless I am asked
Skandinavia girl try to find a group of like-minded pilgrims who appreciate you.

 

[Robo]

My wife tells me the same thing Now I only talk about the Camino three times a day with her and only three times per week with my work colleagues"..............

Try This....

Look in the mirror each morning and repeat this Mantra.

My name is xxxx. And I am a Caminoholic.

Then look into your own eyes and smile


Do not discuss the Camino with your partner, friends or family, unless they raise the topic. And even then, mention it just briefly to answer their question.

When you feel the urge to talk Camino and share your experiences...........come here. With all the other addicts.

We understand what you are going through And we love to talk Camino!


This regime is not foolproof, but with discipline and commitment it will be of great assistance to you and help you maintain your Camino passion.

But be careful. It's easy to fall off the wagon


Last night I had dinner in a fancy restaurant with a work colleague and his wife. I confess I talked Camino for a good hour

Buy hey. He works for me.....and I was paying !

And......I'm sure they were very interested. I'm sure. They were ..... Honestly.....

 

[Wokabaut_Meri]

Hear! Hear! @Robo

@Skandinaviangirl lots of good advice already. There are lots of Camino groups about and if you can't locate one near you, start one of your own! For many of us our real Caminos start once all the walking is over and don't despair. There'll always be someone about on the Forum here to listen to you and appreciate your memories and insights.

My name is xxxx. And I am also a Caminoholic. Love it @Robo

 

[Kanga]

My husband has walked many caminos with me but he is like your partner, @Skandinaviangirl - he is just not an enthusiast. He comes with me, he tells everyone, only because he loves me. And enjoys the food. And knows it is good exercise. That's it. So he is not at all interested in talking about it and warns people (and me) that I am a bore on the subject. Which is undoubtedly true; I have learnt to only "talk camino" with those contemplating going or who share my passion.

I would not worry about it; the best and most loving of couples sometimes have very few interests in common. Personalities can complement and enhance each other without sharing enthusiasms. My husband loves motorbikes and flying small planes. I like walking caminos. The friends we make doing those things (usually separately) enlarge our shared world.

 

[FelixBC]

The Camino is always with me. I think every day about my walk, and walking again. But I shut up about with friends and family...mostly. No subject is fun for other people if overdone. Be glad he told you, instead of just gritting his teeth in silence. Maybe after sometime in peace he can tell you why it bothers him. Meanwhile, there's the forum and good company of fellow caminoholics longing for the walk.

 

[Damien Reynolds]

Do not discuss the Camino with your partner, friends or family, unless they raise the topic

This is a disciplined approach, and one I subscribe to as well (except here of course). I have shared the same angst as the original poster. Do they think of me as a Camino freak because I talk about it so much? Why are they annoyed? Am I a Camino freak?

I admit I am.

It took some time for me to understand those genuinely interested WILL raise the topic. They will wonder why you're going on a 3-6 week vacation, and where you are going. They may have even seen a movie about it. More often, now, as the word spreads, acquaintances and friends will share the experiences of their OTHER friends who did it.

Now I'm by myself and very upset. Well, if I can't share my thoughts and anecdotes from the way with him, then who?

Um, us of course. We eat it up.

 

[David]

AAww, SkandyGirl - this is real Agony Aunt column stuff! All the advice above is prefect - you are a Camino Addict, that is how it is .. your partner isn't, that is also how it is.
It isn't just the Camino addiction you know - there are couples where one is a golf addict, or tennis addict, or 1930's films addict - endless list, you just need to compartmentalise your life a bit .... build up a circle of pilgrims - why not start a pilgrim club where you are? There could be lots of pilgrims in your area who would love to meet and talk, away from their long-suffering partners ... a blog is a good idea, as is writing on here!

I am so much a talkative Camino addict that I could get a job as a room divider at parties!!

So, he went with you ... and why did he invite himself? To support you or .. hmm ..keep you away from strange men? haahahaha. Be honest here, with yourself, did you actually want him to go with you, or in your mind was this your own single personal thing that you wanted to do?
I don't know if I am being helpful at all .... look, the only thing you can do is to find others who are addicts and share with them and - and this is the really important bit! start planning and packing for another Camino all by yourself - the relationship will survive or it won't - there are billions of men, but only one Camino.

 

[kerrychick]

AAww, SkandyGirl - this is real Agony Aunt column stuff! All the advice above is prefect - you are a Camino Addict, that is how it is .. your partner isn't, that is also how it is.
It isn't just the Camino addiction you know - there are couples where one is a golf addict, or tennis addict, or 1930's films addict - endless list, you just need to compartmentalise your life a bit .... build up a circle of pilgrims - why not start a pilgrim club where you are? There could be lots of pilgrims in your area who would love to meet and talk, away from their long-suffering partners ... a blog is a good idea, as is writing on here!

I am so much a talkative Camino addict that I could get a job as a room divider at parties!!

So, he went with you ... and why did he invite himself? To support you or .. hmm ..keep you away from strange men? haahahaha. Be honest here, with yourself, did you actually want him to go with you, or in your mind was this your own single personal thing that you wanted to do?
I don't know if I am being helpful at all .... look, the only thing you can do is to find others who are addicts and share with them and - and this is the really important bit! start planning and packing for another Camino all by yourself - the relationship will survive or it won't - there are billions of men, but only one Camino.

Hi fellow addicts im laughting at this post because its so real and true for us Camino veterans and some people just don't get us.When the camino calls you it will be a wonderful experience but if you are dragged along it will be an endurance test.I walked my first camino with my husband who got tired of me talking about it for years and surprised me by taking me to Spain on holiday and then telling me we were doing the camino.I was not prepared at all and our first stop was pomferada where i saw pilgrims threading their blisters as i watched in horror .I really did not enjoy this very much as it was in november and we fought all the time.But five caminos later i can safely say i am an addict ,i have walked with my sisters and alone as well as with my husband,i love to walk alone for awhile but do miss my sisters one of them is an addict like me but the other one doesn't get it at all.I love to talk about the camino and my experiences and i also love to watch other peoples camino videos ,i have a backpack ready at all times and can't wait to begin again in september.My sister says my husband is too loud for the camino because he likes to sing and that gets on her nerves but he loves meeting people and making them happy thats his camino and we work together so its good to take a break to be with my sister and meet new people .I would encourage Scandinavian girl to follow her heart and do a solo camino and meet like minded people don't hide your passion go with it if he loves you he will understand.

Hi everyone,

So I walked in aug-sep 2015 with my boyfriend, who I love very deeply. We have been together for 3 years.

I tend to be very enthusiastic about our trip and I love to relive memories with him, or share some news from the way and generally I just like to talk about it. It's becoming a very big part of me, because I grew a lot personally on the way and after, and I want to go again this summer.

But today he dropped this on me; "You talk too much about the Camino. You talk about it at least once every day and it annoys me every time. It makes me not wanting to go with you again." - I tried to explain that I have no other that him to share my thoughts with, because no other would understand. He became very angry and didn't want to talk with me.

Now I'm by myself and very upset. Well, if I can't share my thoughts and anecdotes from the way with him, then who?? I've talked with a lot of people about it, but they quickly change the subject, and I don't want them to be annoyed by me, so I don't do it too often either.

Am I crazy? The one man which I shared the whole experience with, which I actually CHOSE to share my experience with, because he asked me, if he could go with me, don't want to talk with me about it?

After we came home from the way, he spoke so rarely about it, every time he actually did surprised me. I didn't talk about it at that time either, but that was because I was afraid to be too much.

I didn't know I was a pain in the a** all this time.

Have some of you experienced this? What did you do?

Much love from Scandinavia.

 

[movinmaggie]

I do agree one option would be to start writing about your experience and see where it takes you. Another thought is to consider doing another Camino alone, although you would not be alone for long. The choice would be yours. Everyone's experience is different. I wouldn't be too hard on your boyfriend (and I'm sure you're not). It may have been more difficult for him for whatever reason and he doesn't want to be reminded. Most on this forum can well understand your Camino 'affliction'. Wish you all the best.

 

[englishstu]

I have walked half the Appalachian Trail(AT) and after they have left from there hikers get the AT fever at regular intervals and rabbit on about getting back there and what they did.
It is best if you don't be boring about it; same as any subject if the listener is not interested- stop. Unsolicited gems of information to you are often boring to others. Write if needs be to get it out of your system.
Same goes with unsolicited advice on hiking gear and clothes, what you say usually gives the impression the other person has the wrong stuff and have wasted their money-both of which they do not want to hear.

 

[t2andreo]

I, and the others know EXACTLY what you are experiencing. There are several very good coping techniques here.

We have a saying here in the US...when the horse throws you off, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and BET BACK ON THE DAMN HORSE!

I do it every year. First, I do a Camino, by myself. Any duration will do, as long as it is a complete route. Then, I volunteer as long as I can spare (and my family will tolerate) at Santiago.

If the truth be told, I would relocate to Santiago and work as a volunteer, like forever, if I had my way. I always get more out of the experience than I put into it. This is true of BOTH the actual Camino and the volunteer work.

These activities help get me through my "off season." During the off season, I am always researching and planning for the next Camino. As you can see, I am also ever-present here in the Forum trying to share my experience and what I have experienced and learned. It is all part of giving back...

Presently, I am seriously thinking of flying into Madrid in early April or at the end of March and walking to Santiago from there. it should take a month, mas o menas... All plans are still TBD. I still need to coordinate my 2016 volunteer activities with he Pilgrim Office.

As I do this, I am trying to maximize my time in Spain without running afoul of the Schengen visa restrictions. As an American, I need a visa if I want to stay more than 90 days in any six-month period. Sheesh, I have independent means and do not need to work. Part of me wonders what all the fuss is about. My presence in Spain is a net gain to the economy. But, rules are rules...and I was always taught to obey the rules...

If anyone else is interested, send me a PM and we can discuss it off-line.

The answer to your dilemma is to be found simply by doing it again...walk another Camino.

I hope this contributes to the dialog.

 

[amorfati1]

Hi everyone,

So I walked in aug-sep 2015 with my boyfriend, who I love very deeply. We have been together for 3 years.

I tend to be very enthusiastic about our trip and I love to relive memories with him, or share some news from the way and generally I just like to talk about it. It's becoming a very big part of me, because I grew a lot personally on the way and after, and I want to go again this summer.

But today he dropped this on me; "You talk too much about the Camino. You talk about it at least once every day and it annoys me every time. It makes me not wanting to go with you again." - I tried to explain that I have no other that him to share my thoughts with, because no other would understand. He became very angry and didn't want to talk with me.

Now I'm by myself and very upset. Well, if I can't share my thoughts and anecdotes from the way with him, then who?? I've talked with a lot of people about it, but they quickly change the subject, and I don't want them to be annoyed by me, so I don't do it too often either.

Am I crazy? The one man which I shared the whole experience with, which I actually CHOSE to share my experience with, because he asked me, if he could go with me, don't want to talk with me about it?

After we came home from the way, he spoke so rarely about it, every time he actually did surprised me. I didn't talk about it at that time either, but that was because I was afraid to be too much.

I didn't know I was a pain in the a** all this time.

Have some of you experienced this? What did you do?

Much love from Scandinavia.

....and love back to you - as you probably have already noticed by the many other good responses.

appears as if it affected him to a different degree or on a different level that what you experienced. you can spend lots of time trying to figure out why this might be so and why this and why that.
or you can direct your enthusiasm to others who are perhaps equally 'afflicted' with camino joys and rememberances - that way you don't need anymore attempting to pull him over into your sandbox so that you have a 'play buddy'.
that's hardly ever a good 'strategy'. (trying to drag others into your sandbox when they have expressed little interest) rather find people who enjoy playing with you in the same sandbox, so to speak. pilgrim gatherings, even on-line, are a fine thing.
all this does not make you "...pain in the a** all this time' - or him an orgre. unless of course you both insist on it
just different preferences -
now you have learned something else about him, about yourself ... and what you can share or rather not.
perhaps there are consequences, perhaps there are not. time will tell ...
but you don't need to stiffle your camino interest, just find appropriate venues - and, as others suggested: writing about it is great too. journal, blog, notes ...

best wishes - and continued buen camino --
c
(and, as I used to tell myself in younger years, when in relationships: "If your partner turns off the music, will you stop dancing?" - if it's important for you, you will find a way to live it. if not, you'll find an excuse.)

 

[David]

I'm loving this thread - all the positive replies, the humour and the caring - what has struck me is that we all write as if we are completely normal rather than completely insane - haahahaa

and, did anyone else notice, hidden in the middle of KerryChick's lovely post, she wrote "I have a backpack ready at all times" - oh dear, Camino addicts indeed!!

 

[David]

 

[Annette london]

Hi everyone,

So I walked in aug-sep 2015 with my boyfriend, who I love very deeply. We have been together for 3 years.

I tend to be very enthusiastic about our trip and I love to relive memories with him, or share some news from the way and generally I just like to talk about it. It's becoming a very big part of me, because I grew a lot personally on the way and after, and I want to go again this summer.

But today he dropped this on me; "You talk too much about the Camino. You talk about it at least once every day and it annoys me every time. It makes me not wanting to go with you again." - I tried to explain that I have no other that him to share my thoughts with, because no other would understand. He became very angry and didn't want to talk with me.

Now I'm by myself and very upset. Well, if I can't share my thoughts and anecdotes from the way with him, then who?? I've talked with a lot of people about it, but they quickly change the subject, and I don't want them to be annoyed by me, so I don't do it too often either.

Am I crazy? The one man which I shared the whole experience with, which I actually CHOSE to share my experience with, because he asked me, if he could go with me, don't want to talk with me about it?

After we came home from the way, he spoke so rarely about it, every time he actually did surprised me. I didn't talk about it at that time either, but that was because I was afraid to be too much.

I didn't know I was a pain in the a** all this time.

Have some of you experienced this? What did you do?

Much love from Scandinavia.

Yes,yes,yes,I just love this thread too.in almost every reply,I see in myself so many things and feel so many emotions pertinent to the camino subject. I could talk about it all day long to anyone that will listen but "theirin lies the madness"!! We met a guy in Italy this year with a shell around his neck and we greeted each other like long lost friends--- and no, we had never met before!!! I have replaced all the flowery and other dross around the house with lovely blue postcards, of the Camino, framed simply and impossible to ignore.thats apart from all the other Camino stuff. Ivan's shop isn't a patch on my place!! Even went so far as to give 5 copies of "The WAy" film to family and friends at Christmas. The daughter thought I was mad. " it's an illness mum"!! I don't talk to my husband too much about the Camino because to him walking is walking and we like to walk all over. To me not so. However it's in my head so much during the day and of course this forum does not help the detoxification programme either!! Stil I don't want to be cured of this! When we returned from the CF last year I found it so so hard to settle down and could cheerfully have walked out the front door again without unpacking a thing to start it all over again. We won't be doing the CF this year but I am working working working on us walking "the way of st.Francis in Italy.(cicerone book just published) As we mind some of the grandchildren 2 days a week, I have told my daughter that we will need at least 3 weeks off in 2017 for the CF again.i said Ghengis Khan can mind them but we are off and running!! BTW kerrychick, from a Limerick chick, I like the sound of the husband. We too love to sing out loud too. Best wishes too all Annette

 

[FelixBC]

I'm loving this thread - all the positive replies, the humour and the caring - what has struck me is that we all write as if we are completely normal rather than completely insane - haahahaa

and, did anyone else notice, hidden in the middle of KerryChick's lovely post, she wrote "I have a backpack ready at all times" - oh dear, Camino addicts indeed!!

My backpack is ready!

When I got home I did just what you do on the Camino. Washed clothes, tended feet, ate, showered, prepared pack for the next day's walk. It's just kind of a long few rest days until I'm off again.

 

[CanPete]

Hi everyone,

So I walked in aug-sep 2015 with my boyfriend, who I love very deeply. We have been together for 3 years.

I tend to be very enthusiastic about our trip and I love to relive memories with him, or share some news from the way and generally I just like to talk about it. It's becoming a very big part of me, because I grew a lot personally on the way and after, and I want to go again this summer.

But today he dropped this on me; "You talk too much about the Camino. You talk about it at least once every day and it annoys me every time. It makes me not wanting to go with you again." - I tried to explain that I have no other that him to share my thoughts with, because no other would understand. He became very angry and didn't want to talk with me.

Now I'm by myself and very upset. Well, if I can't share my thoughts and anecdotes from the way with him, then who?? I've talked with a lot of people about it, but they quickly change the subject, and I don't want them to be annoyed by me, so I don't do it too often either.

Am I crazy? The one man which I shared the whole experience with, which I actually CHOSE to share my experience with, because he asked me, if he could go with me, don't want to talk with me about it?

After we came home from the way, he spoke so rarely about it, every time he actually did surprised me. I didn't talk about it at that time either, but that was because I was afraid to be too much.

I didn't know I was a pain in the a** all this time.

Have some of you experienced this? What did you do?

Much love from Scandinavia.

Hi Skandinaviangirl,

As a male, here are my thoughts, take them for what it's worth. I am a 'straight shooter' and tend not to 'fluff' my responses, calling a spade a spade. Please don't mistake that for insincerity, I still aim for peace on earth and want everybody to get along.

My 'tongue in cheek' ~ knee jerk response is to suggest getting a new BF . . . . But that is likely a bit overboard (?) . . . That said, writing in a journal and hoping it will go away is, from my perspective, not going to solve the issue either.
It seems that, between the two of you, you absorb and value experiences differently ? I'm not sure how much time you spend with him on a day to day basis, but these differences might become more obvious as time goes along. Was walking the Camino together one of the first times you were together 24/7 ? I perceive that kind of 'intense' exposure can bring things to the forefront that are not necessarily obvious compared to meeting up a couple of times a week for dinner/movies etc.
If you are thinking the BF might become your Life Partner in the future you want to make sure your values match, or at least you're able to respect each others . . . ?

I wish you all the best, health and above all, happiness !
Buen Camino

 

[movinmaggie]

Writing is not a way to make it go away; it is a way to indulge yourself in the Camino 'quietly', thus giving BF what
he wishes; not to hear about it.

 

[ngm]

Hi everyone,

So I walked in aug-sep 2015 with my boyfriend, who I love very deeply. We have been together for 3 years.

I tend to be very enthusiastic about our trip and I love to relive memories with him, or share some news from the way and generally I just like to talk about it. It's becoming a very big part of me, because I grew a lot personally on the way and after, and I want to go again this summer.

But today he dropped this on me; "You talk too much about the Camino. You talk about it at least once every day and it annoys me every time. It makes me not wanting to go with you again." - I tried to explain that I have no other that him to share my thoughts with, because no other would understand. He became very angry and didn't want to talk with me.

Now I'm by myself and very upset. Well, if I can't share my thoughts and anecdotes from the way with him, then who?? I've talked with a lot of people about it, but they quickly change the subject, and I don't want them to be annoyed by me, so I don't do it too often either.

Am I crazy? The one man which I shared the whole experience with, which I actually CHOSE to share my experience with, because he asked me, if he could go with me, don't want to talk with me about it?

After we came home from the way, he spoke so rarely about it, every time he actually did surprised me. I didn't talk about it at that time either, but that was because I was afraid to be too much.

I didn't know I was a pain in the a** all this time.

Have some of you experienced this? What did you do?

Much love from Scandinavia.

 

[ngm]

Är du svensk..?

 

[AlwynWellington]

@Skandinaviangirl wrote she talks the pants off her boyfriend and he doesn't like it, or something like that.

I have the opposite problem.

My trips this year are a consequence of my wife dying, not unexpectedly, in last 2014. We both knew that was coming since early 2012 and she wanted something for me to do.

And I think I have been following the advice of many of the posts in this thread: of writing up my thoughts here and in my blog.

And I have gained much from the writings of others. And every now and again a wonderful thread like yours comes along and generates a brilliant discussion.

So, skandy girl, continue to love your boyfriend deeply. And take up some of the suggestions of others above.

 

[Rob the Slob]

Here's a suggestion: maybe talk to your boyfriend and ask him *why* he is sick of hearing you talk about the Camino all the time. All the advice given above is well and good, but if you understand why he's complaining you'll have a better idea of how to solve the issue. Maybe he doesn't like hearing about the Camino because it makes him wonder whether you're happy with your life as it is -- because you seem to want to be elsewhere doing something else. Or maybe you just caught him at a bad time, when he had other things on his mind.

(And don't necessarily expect a clear answer straight away either. Sometimes people don't know themselves why their partner's behaviour is upsetting them.)

 

[vgen5122]

Hi everyone,

So I walked in aug-sep 2015 with my boyfriend, who I love very deeply. We have been together for 3 years.

I tend to be very enthusiastic about our trip and I love to relive memories with him, or share some news from the way and generally I just like to talk about it. It's becoming a very big part of me, because I grew a lot personally on the way and after, and I want to go again this summer.

But today he dropped this on me; "You talk too much about the Camino. You talk about it at least once every day and it annoys me every time. It makes me not wanting to go with you again." - I tried to explain that I have no other that him to share my thoughts with, because no other would understand. He became very angry and didn't want to talk with me.

Now I'm by myself and very upset. Well, if I can't share my thoughts and anecdotes from the way with him, then who?? I've talked with a lot of people about it, but they quickly change the subject, and I don't want them to be annoyed by me, so I don't do it too often either.

Am I crazy? The one man which I shared the whole experience with, which I actually CHOSE to share my experience with, because he asked me, if he could go with me, don't want to talk with me about it?

After we came home from the way, he spoke so rarely about it, every time he actually did surprised me. I didn't talk about it at that time either, but that was because I was afraid to be too much.

I didn't know I was a pain in the a** all this time.

Have some of you experienced this? What did you do?

Much love from Scandinavia.

Let me start by saying that almost every day I bring up the Camino. Yes, I still have the fever. I had such a wonderful time that the experience effected me deeply. It was an experience that my husband and I shared together. It brought us closer together. We had to trust and mostly depend on ourselves sometimes.
The Camino itself is like life itself. It is exciting, it is adventurous, you meet people that you connect with or not, and it is sometimes painful because your feet are not happy. It can be frustrating. Some people start out fast and finish fast. Some people struggle and are slow. Along the way they may reflect, maybe pray and are thankful. When they finish the journey the journey they are happy for what they were able to do.
Sometimes it is difficult to speak about the Camino . It is harder when you yourself realize that you are talking about the Camino too much. Sometimes I have to keep myself in check.

My advise to you is : 1)start saving for your next Camino. 2) join a Camino club or society in your area. 3) Follow the daily forum and give information to other people who are going to be going on their first Camino. 4) Start a blog or an on line journal about your experiences on the Camino. These things will help.

This year, after three years I will return to do a second Camino in late August. I have spoken so much about the Camino that I am doing the Camino with family members(they will be doing their first). I guess they have all given into me. Lol.
Buen Camino.

 

[Stivandrer]

Yes to all the above;
many and I as well have experienced the booming indifference to the person talking warmly of anything and everything from the Camino, because they were not there themselves. So much more the indignity when your traveling partner does not want to reminisc !!!
But know Skandy Girl, that you have a propensity for the Way, so use it in daily routines and be prepared for every time you have a month off to grab your pack, to hop on a plane and do it over again for as long as like and can still stand.

I trained for the Camino by walking to my night shifts and I still do. In wind and sleet, sunshine and dusk, love it to bits....Last week the secratary noted inquisitively:
"It rather looks like you´re living in that rucksack of yours".
I did not want to tell her that this was only my day rucksack and that I merely load it liberally to train on a daily basis with a good load in order to train my back...

If you feel like this about your experience, you are a true pilgrim and truely smitten...

- Og se så at komme afsted til Spanien igen !!!!

 

[MaxfromMO]

View attachment 23680

Very, very true. And to Skandinaviangirl, I also go with the advice to write about it. Write a blog, write a book, post on the Forum, but do not stifle your wish to communicate your love, feeling, and experiences on the Camino. P. S. I am so fortunate that my husband is as enthusiastic about it as I am, whew!! I can't wait to hear more about your Camino!!

 

[BrienC]

Awesome thread Skandinaviangirl! You really started something great here. Great advise and commiserations all!
I too caught the bug, and started a travel blog, and am nearly done with my book, Su Camino...
Yes, I do talk about the Camino too much, I suppose.
Writing has been a great outlet. And my next Camino, I will walk alone.

Buen Camino.

 

[Nanc]

yes every day several times a day my thoughts run to gear, substitutions, weight, weather- like if I prepare for every eventuality, I will not be disappointed. I can feel my own obsession and have no idea where my thoughts will go AFTER the experience.

BUT I would wonder if the daily revisiting of your Camino could be balanced by talking about your NEXT adventure.
It always seems more stimulating to hear how someone is expanding what they are doing. Bouncing off from what you HAVE done into the abyss. It doesn't even have to be El Camino; it could be the next musical instrument or dance lessons or other hike or spiritual retreat. what do they say? don't stop walking
IMHO
Nanc

 

[jena.]

I walked my first Camino in April 2014. I began my trip alone, but soon made friends that remain close to me still today (we had a "Camino reunion" in Poland just a few months ago). When I'm feeling homesick for the Camino -- the simplicity, prayer, walking, and comradery, I simply send them a text and we all enjoy revisiting our time together.

I'm sure my friends and family tire of hearing about a trip they were not a part of, so I try to keep some anticdotes to myself -- but they also recognize how lifechanging the Camino was for me and rarely stop me from sharing stories when I start. I also kept a blog while I was on my Camino that friends and family followed, so sometimes THEY will bring up things that happened on my journey, which always makes me happy.

I embark on my second Camino in May (I just booked the plane tickets!!) and this time my boyfriend is coming with me -- I hope that this journey brings us closer together and gives us yet another adventure in our bucket of shared experiences. I have thought often "what happens if he doesn't like it?" but then brush it off because who could not love the Camino? But then I read your story -- I hope it does not become my own!

I hope that you find an outlet to share your Camino adventures and someone to process your feelings with (this thread looks to be a great start!) I saw a quote the other day, something along the lines of "Once you consent to travel, you consent to never be whole again, for you leave a piece of your heart in every place you visit." This could not be more true of my time on the Camino -- and I'm sure that of others as well. You go on your Camino this summer!! Even if it means you walk alone. (And if you're traveling the Portuguese route in mid May, maybe I'll see you on the trail!)

Buen Camino.

 

[Anemone del Camino]

Three things come to mind:

A. A good friend of mine who had been married for 20 years once told d me when I was still in my 20s that before marrying I should travel with the suspect in question for 3 weeks. She beleived that travelling can make you show your best traits, but also youe worst ones, and that if you could put up with living with someone for 3 weeks in small hotel rooms, with dirty socks in plain view every day, issues about asking for directions and being challenged daily to live ina foreign language you had a good chance cor a life together.

B. The local shop that specialises in the Camino rents its space out to returnees to shlow slides to friends and family so they stop annoying them after that. (I takk about it everyday!)

C. Remember when something was odd about an ex, when he started snapping back when you asks how his day went, why he didn't answer your call when he normally does? If I hadn't spent so many nights in albergues My naughty mind would make me wonder if he may have met someone else on that walk and doesn't want it to come out. I'm with @CanPete on the cynicism train.

 

[Texas Walker]

My wife tells me the same thing Now I only talk about the Camino three times a day with her and only three times per week with my work colleagues"..............



Look in the mirror each morning and repeat this Mantra.

My name is xxxx. And I am a Caminoholic.

Then look into your own eyes and smile


Do not discuss the Camino with your partner, friends or family, unless they raise the topic. And even then, mention it just briefly to answer their question.

When you feel the urge to talk Camino and share your experiences...........come here. With all the other addicts.

We understand what you are going through And we love to talk Camino!


This regime is not foolproof, but with discipline and commitment it will be of great assistance to you and help you maintain your Camino passion.

But be careful. It's easy to fall off the wagon


Last night I had dinner in a fancy restaurant with a work colleague and his wife. I confess I talked Camino for a good hour

Buy hey. He works for me.....and I was paying !

And......I'm sure they were very interested. I'm sure. They were ..... Honestly.....

 

[movinmaggie]

Being well into my Golden years and on my own, I sigh while recalling issues such as these. I remember them so well. While I do have every good wish for Scandinaviagirl to work this out in her best interest, at the same time, I must admit I am happy to have it all behind me…and then I think of the grief I'm saving some very lucky fellow! :>). I do hope this takes a turn for the best….for both of you. I'll wish you an advanced Buen Camino, for your next Camino journey.

 

[David]

I mentioned this elsewhere a while back, but - a few years ago I met a Texican couple. Really sweet positive happy young Americans. They had been school sweethearts and stayed the same through university. They told me that they had been scared to get married as they had had no real difficulties in their lives and wondered how their love would stand up to something like that, those slings and arrows of outrageous fortune - so they decided to do the Camino from St Jean ... they went through all the trials and tribulations and joys and tears and found that it only made them closer in their love for and support of each other. When they returned home they announced their wedding date for April the next year, had a good do, with family and friends ... when I met them and they told me this story, they were on their honeymoon and had started from st Jean again - they were so cute, so warm and honest and kind to each other - I could have taken them home and kept them as pets!

 

[Texas Walker]

Spouse and I went on the CF in 2014. It was life-changing. (As many of you know quite well!) We found ourselves wanting to go back again. And it fell out that we were able to go on the CP this past summer.

One of the blessings of the walk was meeting a wonderfully friendly older gentleman from Quebec. He talked of his prior Camino experiences, and how he talked of it when he got home and his family and friends were like, "Wow. It's great that you had a good trip." (With the subtext of "shut up already.") He and some other pilgrims in his area started a Camino club, so they can now talk to each other about the Camino and not drive everyone else around them crazy.

I find no one that lives very near me (Rio Grande Valley in Texas) who has gone on the Camino, except my wonderful spouse who talks about it with me. The ladies at church have an attraction-avoidance thing with it--sometimes one will ask me about it. Mostly they'd rather not hear about it. I think that, besides being something that I'm telling them and they don't actually share it with me already, there is maybe another issue, that when we blather on about our 4 - 6 week "vacation" as they see it, all they hear is "I get to take long vacations nya nya nya." Even though we don't have any such thoughts in our minds! So I try to put a cork in it with the other ladies. If it weren't for being able to talk to my sweetie I'd go plain crazy with keeping it in.

I second the wise advice the original poster has already received. And it may be that the trip was always hers and when they got there he discovered that he couldn't make it "his" too for some reason or other. Possibly the question could be asked, did we miss doing some things that you were really hoping to do (see a sight, make a side trip?) and maybe in future if we're still seeing each other we could go again and pick up those missed things? We did pay attention on ours to the areas that interest us and that helps the invitee spouse (me, in 2014) to make the pilgrimage their own.

Wishing for your way to be blessed,
Texas Walker

 

[Mike Leeworthy]

Hi everyone,

So I walked in aug-sep 2015 with my boyfriend, who I love very deeply. We have been together for 3 years.

I tend to be very enthusiastic about our trip and I love to relive memories with him, or share some news from the way and generally I just like to talk about it. It's becoming a very big part of me, because I grew a lot personally on the way and after, and I want to go again this summer.

But today he dropped this on me; "You talk too much about the Camino. You talk about it at least once every day and it annoys me every time. It makes me not wanting to go with you again." - I tried to explain that I have no other that him to share my thoughts with, because no other would understand. He became very angry and didn't want to talk with me.

Now I'm by myself and very upset. Well, if I can't share my thoughts and anecdotes from the way with him, then who?? I've talked with a lot of people about it, but they quickly change the subject, and I don't want them to be annoyed by me, so I don't do it too often either.

Am I crazy? The one man which I shared the whole experience with, which I actually CHOSE to share my experience with, because he asked me, if he could go with me, don't want to talk with me about it?

After we came home from the way, he spoke so rarely about it, every time he actually did surprised me. I didn't talk about it at that time either, but that was because I was afraid to be too much.

I didn't know I was a pain in the a** all this time.

Have some of you experienced this? What did you do?

Much love from Scandinavia.

Yes join the Club...and such an exclusive Club it is. I having been walking the Camino from Le Puy to Finisterre on four separate occasions. I have now joined the dots...why do I go back?? Why do any of us go back.?
I have solved this problem re friends and relatives not interested in my experiences. I have my Art Gallery attached to my home where I have a small section showing my shell,my Compestella and my Credential. Under neath I have my watercolours I did of the Camino on display...I also sell the prints of these paintings. This is MY way of having a on going discussion re the C main. Every second person wants to do the Camino. I encourage them to go, what to take and what sort of training they should do. I have a Facebook site Camino Watercolours by Michael leeworthy which I shall continue to ad more paintings to.
Michael Leeworthy

 

[auldies]

I'm loving this thread - all the positive replies, the humour and the caring - what has struck me is that we all write as if we are completely normal rather than completely insane - haahahaa

Love love love it! That really did make me LOL!
I'm already rabbiting on ad nauseam to all who care to listen (and probably many who don't!) and we haven't even started our first camino yet.......... a little concerning perhaps??

 

[Anemone del Camino]

Spouse and I went on the CF in 2014. It was life-changing. (As many of you know quite well!) We found ourselves wanting to go back again. And it fell out that we were able to go on the CP this past summer.

One of the blessings of the walk was meeting a wonderfully friendly older gentleman from Quebec. He talked of his prior Camino experiences, and how he talked of it when he got home and his family and friends were like, "Wow. It's great that you had a good trip." (With the subtext of "shut up already.") He and some other pilgrims in his area started a Camino club, so they can now talk to each other about the Camino and not drive everyone else around them crazy.

I find no one that lives very near me (Rio Grande Valley in Texas) who has gone on the Camino, except my wonderful spouse who talks about it with me. The ladies at church have an attraction-avoidance thing with it--sometimes one will ask me about it. Mostly they'd rather not hear about it. I think that, besides being something that I'm telling them and they don't actually share it with me already, there is maybe another issue, that when we blather on about our 4 - 6 week "vacation" as they see it, all they hear is "I get to take long vacations nya nya nya." Even though we don't have any such thoughts in our minds! So I try to put a cork in it with the other ladies. If it weren't for being able to talk to my sweetie I'd go plain crazy with keeping it in.

I second the wise advice the original poster has already received. And it may be that the trip was always hers and when they got there he discovered that he couldn't make it "his" too for some reason or other. Possibly the question could be asked, did we miss doing some things that you were really hoping to do (see a sight, make a side trip?) and maybe in future if we're still seeing each other we could go again and pick up those missed things? We did pay attention on ours to the areas that interest us and that helps the invitee spouse (me, in 2014) to make the pilgrimage their own.

Wishing for your way to be blessed,
Texas Walker

Or how would you react if I wanted to go the jungle, Antartic! What have you. Would you keep me company, like I kept you company, wether you wanted me to do so or not!

 

[movinmaggie]

Spouse and I went on the CF in 2014. It was life-changing. (As many of you know quite well!) We found ourselves wanting to go back again. And it fell out that we were able to go on the CP this past summer.

One of the blessings of the walk was meeting a wonderfully friendly older gentleman from Quebec. He talked of his prior Camino experiences, and how he talked of it when he got home and his family and friends were like, "Wow. It's great that you had a good trip." (With the subtext of "shut up already.") He and some other pilgrims in his area started a Camino club, so they can now talk to each other about the Camino and not drive everyone else around them crazy.

I find no one that lives very near me (Rio Grande Valley in Texas) who has gone on the Camino, except my wonderful spouse who talks about it with me. The ladies at church have an attraction-avoidance thing with it--sometimes one will ask me about it. Mostly they'd rather not hear about it. I think that, besides being something that I'm telling them and they don't actually share it with me already, there is maybe another issue, that when we blather on about our 4 - 6 week "vacation" as they see it, all they hear is "I get to take long vacations nya nya nya." Even though we don't have any such thoughts in our minds! So I try to put a cork in it with the other ladies. If it weren't for being able to talk to my sweetie I'd go plain crazy with keeping it in.

I second the wise advice the original poster has already received. And it may be that the trip was always hers and when they got there he discovered that he couldn't make it "his" too for some reason or other. Possibly the question could be asked, did we miss doing some things that you were really hoping to do (see a sight, make a side trip?) and maybe in future if we're still seeing each other we could go again and pick up those missed things? We did pay attention on ours to the areas that interest us and that helps the invitee spouse (me, in 2014) to make the pilgrimage their own.

Wishing for your way to be blessed,
Texas Walker

Lovely post Texas Walker….thank you. How blessed you are to be the couple you are. When folks ask me what makes me the happiest? I always answer; "Knowing that both my son and daughter have forever mates".

 

[CaminoDebrita]

Hi everyone,

So I walked in aug-sep 2015 with my boyfriend, who I love very deeply. We have been together for 3 years.

I tend to be very enthusiastic about our trip and I love to relive memories with him, or share some news from the way and generally I just like to talk about it. It's becoming a very big part of me, because I grew a lot personally on the way and after, and I want to go again this summer.

But today he dropped this on me; "You talk too much about the Camino. You talk about it at least once every day and it annoys me every time. It makes me not wanting to go with you again." - I tried to explain that I have no other that him to share my thoughts with, because no other would understand. He became very angry and didn't want to talk with me.

Now I'm by myself and very upset. Well, if I can't share my thoughts and anecdotes from the way with him, then who?? I've talked with a lot of people about it, but they quickly change the subject, and I don't want them to be annoyed by me, so I don't do it too often either.

Am I crazy? The one man which I shared the whole experience with, which I actually CHOSE to share my experience with, because he asked me, if he could go with me, don't want to talk with me about it?

After we came home from the way, he spoke so rarely about it, every time he actually did surprised me. I didn't talk about it at that time either, but that was because I was afraid to be too much.

I didn't know I was a pain in the a** all this time.

Have some of you experienced this? What did you do?

Much love from Scandinavia.

Skandinaviagirl:

I have a few questions for you. You can answer any, or all. In fact, any of the rest of you, I'd love to hear your ideas too. Just copy and paste the questions below and go for it.

1. Where is your favorite section of the Camino Frances? Why do you think it was your favorite?

2. Do you think you would do well walking alone, for hours? Or would you prefer to be with someone?

3. When you walked with your boyfriend, how did he treat others? how did he treat you?

4. Do you feel like you can make a plan to walk again? Where would you walk next time?

I can't wait to hear from you again.

Deb

 

[rebken]

Hi Skandinaviangirl,

As a male, here are my thoughts, take them for what it's worth. I am a 'straight shooter' and tend not to 'fluff' my responses, calling a spade a spade. Please don't mistake that for insincerity, I still aim for peace on earth and want everybody to get along.

My 'tongue in cheek' ~ knee jerk response is to suggest getting a new BF . . . . But that is likely a bit overboard (?) . . . That said, writing in a journal and hoping it will go away is, from my perspective, not going to solve the issue either.
It seems that, between the two of you, you absorb and value experiences differently ? I'm not sure how much time you spend with him on a day to day basis, but these differences might become more obvious as time goes along. Was walking the Camino together one of the first times you were together 24/7 ? I perceive that kind of 'intense' exposure can bring things to the forefront that are not necessarily obvious compared to meeting up a couple of times a week for dinner/movies etc.
If you are thinking the BF might become your Life Partner in the future you want to make sure your values match, or at least you're able to respect each others . . . ?

I wish you all the best, health and above all, happiness !
Buen Camino

I m with you - get a new BF. Someone as crazy for the Camino as you are. They will understand you way more.

 

[Heliman1965]

I was first inspired to walk the Camino by the Film "The Way" I couldn't think of anything else for the whole 13 months of planning.
I'd talk, dream, research and plan, impulse buy then change my mind and buy something different, but never really knew what was ahead of me... the emotional highs and lows the real feeling of muscle pain and blisters to be honest I had no idea why I had and still have such a passion for the Camino...
My first Camino was in May 2012 my second May 2015 and am planning my next Camino for June 2018 and I am as excited now as I was on my first.
I do find that people around me switch off, out of either not having done the Camino or and not understanding the passionate pull it has on me, whether it is the soul searching, fitness and self satisfaction of such an achievement or just the walking with like minded people or alone to reflect when the need takes you... "I haven't a clue" but the longing to be on the Camino is with me every day.
I can only explain my feelings and memories of the Camino... To me it's like falling in love for the first time and feeling of wanting to spend every minute of every day together and day dreaming of it when your apart...

What ever the thoughts and reactions of some of the people around you when your inner passion for the Camino flows can be a bit like a slap around the face with a wet fish... "Chin up...! take a Deep breath and carry on Planning your next Camino"

Buen Camino
Bryan

 

[t2andreo]

It is nice to know that there are many, many affected folks around the world. Maybe we should form CA (Camino Anonymous)?

I am mostly serious. We could have friends of "Jim" (aka Santiago or St. James) in chapters all over the world. Hmmm?

On second thought, maybe we should start a CA (Camino Anonymous thread here in the Forum? Yes, I know that is what the Forum, writ large, is all about. What I am suggesting is a specific "place" in the Forum where all members (only) can come to share feelings, experienced adjustment problems and solutions. While there are specific threads for all type of rucksacks and gear, footwear, rain gear, directions; opinions on lodging, routes etc., I missed it if there is already a specific place to go to more privately to "share and vent" and to seek support for the psychological aspects of our shared "malady." I know about private conversations. But I am wondering where one might go on the Forum to share with only some members... Just thinking out loud...

Moreover, if a directory were made available here on the Forum, then affected members would know where to go to be supported and renewed wherever in the world they might be. Hmmm, note to Ivar, if such a place does not exist, perhaps one could be created, with an additional user ID and different password (an inner ring as it were) for Forum members who desire to register to get into the "CA circle."

This "inner ring" would need to be firewalled from being included in any search engine or social media content. If it cannot be so protected, we ought not do it. Privacy must be stronger. That is why I do not use my real name, but a different user ID here in the forum. When I discovered early on that using my name in a Google search would bring up every Forum post, I immediately changed my user name.

With all due respect to others dealing with substance addiction and abuse disorders, the emotional aspects of being affected by "Caminoitis" or "Sanitago Syndrome" can also be life-altering. Sometimes this is good. However, and as others have commented above, sometimes the results can be unpredictable on relationships, especially with others who have not done it, do not "get it," or who may have done it and not caught "the bug." I imagine that relationships have ended over Caminoitis.

In this vein, I have commented from time to time in carious threads and posts that, that doing a full full Camino for month or so, is not unlike having been in combat or some other dire, stressful situation. The common thread is that,unless you have experienced it first-hand, you cannot possibly understand.

I DO NOT mean to equate being a pilgrim with being a combat soldier. I DO intend to explain that the psychic affects of the month on The Way can affect you, and your outlook on life profoundly, and FOR LIFE. THAT is the common thread.

I have been there. I know from first-hand experience that there are things you can share with a military veteran that you cannot share with someone who has not "been there, done that." I hope you understand where I am coming from.

We ALL need an outlet for discussion and sharing these, sometimes more personal issues. The Forum could / maybe be used as a critical link in that personal support chain. If I did not have it, I do not know how I would make it from journey to journey. I NEED my daily dose of the Camino Fortum! I am compelled to help others and "keep my oar in..." It is just a thought...

I do not profess to having all the answers. I DO have a lot of questions though. Along the way, I learned that life is about finding answers to as many questions as possible while on "this side of the sod..."

As always, I hope this helps...

 

[BrienC]

I do not profess to having all the answers. I DO have a lot of questions though. Along the way, I learned that life is about finding answers to as many questions as possible while on "this side of the sod..."

I like that Tom!
To me, life is about growing, about evolving into a better and happier person. It's about setting goals, making plans and accomplishments. All the while growing into that better person. I don't seek perfection. I am perfection, having a human experience. Humans aren't perfect. But what we are behind the scenes is—pure perfection, pure love, Godly. I seek—through my own path—to be as close as possible to that which is. That's real accomplishment. I don't judge myself to others (one of this year's key lessons), and I don't judge others. I don't know their path, so why would I judge or measure myself to another person's path.

Cheers,

 

[t2andreo]

Yup. I think you got it!

 

[CaminoDebrita]

It is nice to know that there are many, many affected folks around the world. Maybe we should form CA (Camino Anonymous)?

I am mostly serious. We could have friends of "Jim" (aka Santiago or St. James) in chapters all over the world. Hmmm?

On second thought, maybe we should start a CA (Camino Anonymous thread here in the Forum? Yes, I know that is what the Forum, writ large, is all about. What I am suggesting is a specific "place" in the Forum where all members (only) can come to share feelings, experienced adjustment problems and solutions. While there are specific threads for all type of rucksacks and gear, footwear, rain gear, directions; opinions on lodging, routes etc., I missed it if there is already a specific place to go to more privately to "share and vent" and to seek support for the psychological aspects of our shared "malady." I know about private conversations. But I am wondering where one might go on the Forum to share with only some members... Just thinking out loud...

Moreover, if a directory were made available here on the Forum, then affected members would know where to go to be supported and renewed wherever in the world they might be. Hmmm, note to Ivar, if such a place does not exist, perhaps one could be created, with an additional user ID and different password (an inner ring as it were) for Forum members who desire to register to get into the "CA circle."

This "inner ring" would need to be firewalled from being included in any search engine or social media content. If it cannot be so protected, we ought not do it. Privacy must be stronger. That is why I do not use my real name, but a different user ID here in the forum. When I discovered early on that using my name in a Google search would bring up every Forum post, I immediately changed my user name.

With all due respect to others dealing with substance addiction and abuse disorders, the emotional aspects of being affected by "Caminoitis" or "Sanitago Syndrome" can also be life-altering. Sometimes this is good. However, and as others have commented above, sometimes the results can be unpredictable on relationships, especially with others who have not done it, do not "get it," or who may have done it and not caught "the bug." I imagine that relationships have ended over Caminoitis.

In this vein, I have commented from time to time in carious threads and posts that, that doing a full full Camino for month or so, is not unlike having been in combat or some other dire, stressful situation. The common thread is that,unless you have experienced it first-hand, you cannot possibly understand.

I DO NOT mean to equate being a pilgrim with being a combat soldier. I DO intend to explain that the psychic affects of the month on The Way can affect you, and your outlook on life profoundly, and FOR LIFE. THAT is the common thread.

I have been there. I know from first-hand experience that there are things you can share with a military veteran that you cannot share with someone who has not "been there, done that." I hope you understand where I am coming from.

We ALL need an outlet for discussion and sharing these, sometimes more personal issues. The Forum could / maybe be used as a critical link in that personal support chain. If I did not have it, I do not know how I would make it from journey to journey. I NEED my daily dose of the Camino Fortum! I am compelled to help others and "keep my oar in..." It is just a thought...

I do not profess to having all the answers. I DO have a lot of questions though. Along the way, I learned that life is about finding answers to as many questions as possible while on "this side of the sod..."

As always, I hope this helps...

I have a somewhat mocked up version of my name, and I am a person with few secrets. This means that on occasion I am judged, but that is fine. I really try not to judge others, and I absolutely do try to live my own life.

It would make me feel really unhappy if I knew that my Camino forum name is linked to my personal name, however. Not that I am writing anything too confidential, but I would feel worried.

Honestly, through educating young people about the danger / consequences of showing too much and telling inappropriate stories on twitter and Facebook, I've gotten more cautious. Sunsets and puppies are safe, but on the forum, I can be more of myself.

 

[t2andreo]

The problem I alluded to above related to, when I originally used my actual first and surname as my user ID when I first joined the Forum. I WANTED people to know who I was. I had met folks on my first Camino in 2013. They had my real name. I wanted to remain in contact with them through the Forum. That seemed reasonable, at the time

Logically, if you then use an internet search engine to search for that specific name, you get results, including posts here. So, for example, if your name IS "John Doe," and you used "John Doe" as your Forum user ID, then EVERY post under that user name will be reflected in your search results. this applies to Facebook, Twitter, and across other social media as well.

If you doubt me, do a Google or Bing search for your User ID here on the forum. Watch what comes up. THAT is what social media is all about. THAT is why it is prudent to use a second User ID that is not near to your real name. Notice that is what most of the Forum members do. I will only relate my real name, address, or other contact information in a Private Conversation, as those are not included in search results. Please correct me ASAP if I am wrong.

While part of me appreciates the sharing of information, the intelligent part of me affirms that some things are better kept within a shared interest community, like other Forum members. So, I will, and I advise others to use Forum names that are different enough form your actual name so all of your posts do not get revealed to strangers.

I hope this helps the dialog.

 

[abejon]

Hi everyone,

So I walked in aug-sep 2015 with my boyfriend, who I love very deeply. We have been together for 3 years.

I tend to be very enthusiastic about our trip and I love to relive memories with him, or share some news from the way and generally I just like to talk about it. It's becoming a very big part of me, because I grew a lot personally on the way and after, and I want to go again this summer.

But today he dropped this on me; "You talk too much about the Camino. You talk about it at least once every day and it annoys me every time. It makes me not wanting to go with you again." - I tried to explain that I have no other that him to share my thoughts with, because no other would understand. He became very angry and didn't want to talk with me.

Now I'm by myself and very upset. Well, if I can't share my thoughts and anecdotes from the way with him, then who?? I've talked with a lot of people about it, but they quickly change the subject, and I don't want them to be annoyed by me, so I don't do it too often either.

Am I crazy? The one man which I shared the whole experience with, which I actually CHOSE to share my experience with, because he asked me, if he could go with me, don't want to talk with me about it?

After we came home from the way, he spoke so rarely about it, every time he actually did surprised me. I didn't talk about it at that time either, but that was because I was afraid to be too much.

I didn't know I was a pain in the a** all this time.

Have some of you experienced this? What did you do?

Much love from Scandinavia.

[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]Imagine yourself talking to your boyfriend, but instead write it down. You could recorded it on your smart device and then write it down. You can start with “Remember when we were …...” and tell the story to yourself with all the little details, with your feelings and maybe even pains. Get everything out of you and put it on a paper, preferably on paper. Then, of course you can publish it here, where many people will read it and some may answer. I am going to start on my Camino in two months and I, like many others like me, would love to read about other pilgrims experiences on the camino.
Good luck[/FONT]

 

[Richard A Stead]

hahaha! Join the club!
It is such a life-changing experience for some of us that we tend to just blather about it.
It's hard to rein in the enthusiasm.

I don't think you're a pain in the coo at all!
Keep on talking!
Maybe volunteer?
Help others?

Simple. Kick him into touch. You should be with somebody who makes you laugh,shares your experiences and loves you for the person you are. Just get rid and find someone nicer.

 

[Hez]

I, and the others know EXACTLY what you are experiencing. There are several very good coping techniques here.

We have a saying here in the US...when the horse throws you off, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and BET BACK ON THE DAMN HORSE!

I do it every year. First, I do a Camino, by myself. Any duration will do, as long as it is a complete route. Then, I volunteer as long as I can spare (and my family will tolerate) at Santiago.

If the truth be told, I would relocate to Santiago and work as a volunteer, like forever, if I had my way. I always get more out of the experience than I put into it. This is true of BOTH the actual Camino and the volunteer work.

These activities help get me through my "off season." During the off season, I am always researching and planning for the next Camino. As you can see, I am also ever-present here in the Forum trying to share my experience and what I have experienced and learned. It is all part of giving back...

Presently, I am seriously thinking of flying into Madrid in early April or at the end of March and walking to Santiago from there. it should take a month, mas o menas... All plans are still TBD. I still need to coordinate my 2016 volunteer activities with he Pilgrim Office.

As I do this, I am trying to maximize my time in Spain without running afoul of the Schengen visa restrictions. As an American, I need a visa if I want to stay more than 90 days in any six-month period. Sheesh, I have independent means and do not need to work. Part of me wonders what all the fuss is about. My presence in Spain is a net gain to the economy. But, rules are rules...and I was always taught to obey the rules...

If anyone else is interested, send me a PM and we can discuss it off-line.

The answer to your dilemma is to be found simply by doing it again...walk another Camino.

I hope this contributes to the dialog.

Do you know you can get a one year visa for Spain for non-lucrative purposes? http://www.exteriores.gob.es/Consul...o/Documents/documentosvisados/nolucrativa.pdf Interestingly after one year you can apply to renew - renewals are good for 2 years each. After 5 years you can apply for permanent residency.

 

[tpmchugh]

Hi everyone,

So I walked in aug-sep 2015 with my boyfriend, who I love very deeply. We have been together for 3 years.

I tend to be very enthusiastic about our trip and I love to relive memories with him, or share some news from the way and generally I just like to talk about it. It's becoming a very big part of me, because I grew a lot personally on the way and after, and I want to go again this summer.

But today he dropped this on me; "You talk too much about the Camino. You talk about it at least once every day and it annoys me every time. It makes me not wanting to go with you again." - I tried to explain that I have no other that him to share my thoughts with, because no other would understand. He became very angry and didn't want to talk with me.

Now I'm by myself and very upset. Well, if I can't share my thoughts and anecdotes from the way with him, then who?? I've talked with a lot of people about it, but they quickly change the subject, and I don't want them to be annoyed by me, so I don't do it too often either.

Am I crazy? The one man which I shared the whole experience with, which I actually CHOSE to share my experience with, because he asked me, if he could go with me, don't want to talk with me about it?

After we came home from the way, he spoke so rarely about it, every time he actually did surprised me. I didn't talk about it at that time either, but that was because I was afraid to be too much.

I didn't know I was a pain in the a** all this time.

Have some of you experienced this? What did you do?

Much love from Scandinavia.

Yea, me too, my wife says I never shut up about it. Not a day goes bye that I dont talk about it. Fortunately, my son also walked it so we like to talk about it but very quickly change the subject when my wife comes into the room. Even visitors to the house get it. Its a bit like the guy who always wants to show you his holiday snaps, a pain in the butt. Just learn to bite your tongue and talk about something else. Its difficult but it is possible

 

[Victoria_Peregrina]

The original post and the responses that followed have overturned one of my Camino theories. I walked the Camino alone and greatly enjoyed it particularly because I walked it my way. I always was surrounded by friends when I felt like socializing, and I was alone when I chose so. I maintained my own pace, my own schedule and occasional changes to the schedule. I stayed in the albergues that fit me best and ate whatever and whenever is suited me.

It was difficult for me to imagine that my Camino experience would be better if I walked it with someone else. However, when I returned home, I missed having someone to discuss our Camino experiences. And so I thought that having a partner is the best outlet for the Camino nostalgia.

This discussion shows that even walking with someone may not alleviate the post-Camino blues.

 

[nidarosa]

@Skandinaviangirl : Lots of good advice here. I walked on my own several times before my husband joined me from Astorga to Santiago for our honeymoon. We had been together for 15 years though and I think my enthusiasm rubbed off on him. The walk out of Astorga didn't impress him much but from Santa Catalina he loved it. Before I could ramble on to him about it - I did, but it was pretty one-sided - I used this forum extensively and made online friends who were as bad as myself. Feel free to send me a PM if you like, I can talk camino with the best of them (også på norsk). Also I think you may be suffering from PCB ... click the link if you want to see how I have used my blog to try to keep my own PCB in check. Good luck whatever you do.

 

[Skandinaviangirl]

Original post here! Really Important!

I just want to say THANK YOU. To every one of you who took your time to answer my thread! When I turned on my computer, I had not expected to have started such a big discussion! Wow..

FIY

I feel the need to say something important about my partner. For the people who told me I should find another man; he is the perfect man for me, whether he likes my camino-blathering or not. I'm not going to kick him out and find someone who fits me better, because he is already the one for me. Even though we are young, and 3 years is not a long time for a relationship, it's enough to know that it takes more than just a fight, to reconsider being together. Thank you for your responses, and I am sorry if I gave you the wrong impression of him.

He called me a few minutes after I posted this thread and apologized for having fought with me. He told me, that he did not understand the need I had for talking so much about it, but he would try and be more open-minded in the future about sharing his thoughts too. And I will also think before speaking, I should accept that he has other needs, and that's okay too! He is not an addict, great (or maybe not?) for him!

We had a great camino. Laughing, getting to know each other, crying, even fighting, of course!
+ We are going to walk Del Norte and Primitivo this summer too, we arranged it a long time before our fight, because he did love the camino too, and he does want to do it all over again, he just doesn't feel the same need to talk about it as I do.
We just had different perspectives and different caminos, even though we went together - yes, actually we found out, that was very possible! And we are looking forward to walking another totally different camino from different perspectives together again!

Thank you all very much.
- Keep posting, I will keep replying!

Much love from Scandinavia!

 

[Skandinaviangirl]

I would not worry about it; the best and most loving of couples sometimes have very few interests in common. Personalities can complement and enhance each other without sharing enthusiasms. My husband loves motorbikes and flying small planes. I like walking caminos. The friends we make doing those things (usually separately) enlarge our shared world.

This was great for me to read. You are so right, of course. Thank you.

 

[Skandinaviangirl]

AAww, SkandyGirl - this is real Agony Aunt column stuff! All the advice above is prefect - you are a Camino Addict, that is how it is .. your partner isn't, that is also how it is.
It isn't just the Camino addiction you know - there are couples where one is a golf addict, or tennis addict, or 1930's films addict - endless list, you just need to compartmentalise your life a bit .... build up a circle of pilgrims - why not start a pilgrim club where you are? There could be lots of pilgrims in your area who would love to meet and talk, away from their long-suffering partners ... a blog is a good idea, as is writing on here!

I am so much a talkative Camino addict that I could get a job as a room divider at parties!!

So, he went with you ... and why did he invite himself? To support you or .. hmm ..keep you away from strange men? haahahaha. Be honest here, with yourself, did you actually want him to go with you, or in your mind was this your own single personal thing that you wanted to do?
I don't know if I am being helpful at all .... look, the only thing you can do is to find others who are addicts and share with them and - and this is the really important bit! start planning and packing for another Camino all by yourself - the relationship will survive or it won't - there are billions of men, but only one Camino.

David, thank you so much for this reply. It turned up in my email inbox, and I read it right away. I both laughed and cried!

So yeah, he invited himself like 1,5 years before we actually went (I have been planning this since I was 15, now I am 21). In the beginning I guess it was to protect me from those strange and spiritual men on the road, but after some time I told him, I didn't want him to come, because I could feel, that he did not have a legitimate reason for going, and I didn't think that was right.

In January last year, we talked about this before buying my ticket, because I actually wanted him to come with me. I wanted to share my experience with the one I love, and he finally gave me a satisfying answer for why he wanted to go too. We booked two tickets instead of one after that talk, and the moment we arrived in Santiago, I knew it was the best choice I've ever made!

 

[C clearly]

Happy couples learn to deal with each others' differences without thinking they need to agree on everything and do everything together. Some couples seem to be "soulmates" but my husband and I are not, and I certainly don't expect that to change now after 35 years. Maybe having a soulmate would be wonderful, but I'm not so sure that either one of us is a the type to have one, let alone whether he and I are the best match!

Sometimes people let "perfection be the enemy of the good" and have expectations of their partners that interfere with contentment.

 

[Skandinaviangirl]

It seems that, between the two of you, you absorb and value experiences differently ? I'm not sure how much time you spend with him on a day to day basis, but these differences might become more obvious as time goes along. Was walking the Camino together one of the first times you were together 24/7 ? I perceive that kind of 'intense' exposure can bring things to the forefront that are not necessarily obvious compared to meeting up a couple of times a week for dinner/movies etc.
If you are thinking the BF might become your Life Partner in the future you want to make sure your values match, or at least you're able to respect each others . . . ?

CanPete, thank you for your reply. We do not live together, but we do spend a lot of time together. Occasionally 24/7 for a period of time, sometimes only a few hours twice a week. We have a very different schedule, but we try to get as much time together as possible. We won't move in together before we are married. The Camino was intense for us, but not in a bad way. We loved it. I'm not saying we didn't fight at all, all couple do their lot of fighting, but most of the time we were very happy.

I think your observation about absorbing experiences differently is correct. We do have different perspectives and learned very different lessons, nevertheless we both feel like we had the time of our lives.

Yes, we are both thinking about becoming life partners, and our values do match (we did make sure of that a long time ago), I just think he doesn't have the same interest in re-living the whole thing again and again and again, as I do.

Again, thank you very much. Your reply made me reflect upon my relationship with him, and I found out, I'm totally sticking with him.

- Skandinaviangirl

 

[Skandinaviangirl]

- Og se så at komme afsted til Spanien igen !!!!

Halløjsovs, du har da simpelthen så meget ret! Hvor er det godt vi planlægger at komme afsted igen til sommer så! Stor krammer!

 

[Skandinaviangirl]

Skandinaviagirl:

I have a few questions for you. You can answer any, or all. In fact, any of the rest of you, I'd love to hear your ideas too. Just copy and paste the questions below and go for it.

1. Where is your favorite section of the Camino Frances? Why do you think it was your favorite?

2. Do you think you would do well walking alone, for hours? Or would you prefer to be with someone?

3. When you walked with your boyfriend, how did he treat others? how did he treat you?

4. Do you feel like you can make a plan to walk again? Where would you walk next time?

I can't wait to hear from you again.

Deb

Hi Deb. These are interesting questions, and I will answer!

1: Galicia. I loved the mysterious, foggy woods, the cosy fireplaces and tree-house-albergues. The mountains were so beautiful in the dewy mornings when the sunrise shone all red and orange. The silence was magical, because it wasn't really silent after all, with the birds and the cows and dogs. Galicia was absolutely wonderful before we catched up with the crowd the last 60-70 kms.

2: I wouldn't mind walking alone at all, no. Sometimes I would prefer to walk alone. Sometimes not. I guess there will be a time, when he's done with the caminos, then I'm all by myself. But I don't mind if he want's to come with me either. I feel like I can be alone, but together with him, if you understand?

3: He was very interested in other people, their stories. We had a camino family, and he thought it was very important to take decisions together with them, where I did tend to think about our own needs and wants first. He treated me, and always do, with a lot of respect and love. He gave me space when I needed it, he was there for me when I needed him. He was my stick, and I was his!

4: Yes, we're already planning our next camino! We are going to walk the Del Norte, and then walk to Santiago by the Primitivo. We also talked about walking to Rome, in Scotland, from our home to Santiago... We are actually talking about learning how to climb as well..

Thank you for your reply!

 

[Robo]

@Skandinaviangirl So glad to hear that all is well and that you won't need to 'trade in' your boyfriend

Of course you do realise that this Forum is merely another form of the Camino addiction

As you can tell by the avalanche of posts. The members here will talk endlessly about any topic you care to mention, as long as the word Camino appears at least once

 

[Skandinaviangirl]

@Skandinaviangirl Of course you do realise that this Forum is merely another form of the Camino addiction

As you can tell by the avalanche of posts. The members here will talk endlessly about any topic you care to mention, as long as the word Camino appears at least once

Haha oh yes, and I absolutely LOVE it!

 

[Loretta Jane]

Visited Santiago as tourist 2004
Pilgrim 2005, 2006
Hospitalera training 2008
Volunteer hospitalera 2010, 2012
2016 still remembering, dreaming ...
...!

 

[Robo]

Visited Santiago as tourist 2004
Pilgrim 2005, 2006
Hospitalera training 2008
Volunteer hospitalera 2010, 2012
2016 still remembering, dreaming ...
...!

And your next Camino...............is when?

 

[CanPete]

CanPete, thank you for your reply. We do not live together, but we do spend a lot of time together. Occasionally 24/7 for a period of time, sometimes only a few hours twice a week. We have a very different schedule, but we try to get as much time together as possible. We won't move in together before we are married. The Camino was intense for us, but not in a bad way. We loved it. I'm not saying we didn't fight at all, all couple do their lot of fighting, but most of the time we were very happy.

I think your observation about absorbing experiences differently is correct. We do have different perspectives and learned very different lessons, nevertheless we both feel like we had the time of our lives.

Yes, we are both thinking about becoming life partners, and our values do match (we did make sure of that a long time ago), I just think he doesn't have the same interest in re-living the whole thing again and again and again, as I do.

Again, thank you very much. Your reply made me reflect upon my relationship with him, and I found out, I'm totally sticking with him.

- Skandinaviangirl

Sometimes it takes a point of view from someone 4 steps away . . . I am glad it gave you a chance to reflect and I wish you both all the happiness in the world !!
I wish you a 'Buen Camino', which would include the 'Camino of Life' . . .

)

 

[AussieGayle]

Hi everyone,

So I walked in aug-sep 2015 with my boyfriend, who I love very deeply. We have been together for 3 years.

I tend to be very enthusiastic about our trip and I love to relive memories with him, or share some news from the way and generally I just like to talk about it. It's becoming a very big part of me, because I grew a lot personally on the way and after, and I want to go again this summer.

But today he dropped this on me; "You talk too much about the Camino. You talk about it at least once every day and it annoys me every time. It makes me not wanting to go with you again." - I tried to explain that I have no other that him to share my thoughts with, because no other would understand. He became very angry and didn't want to talk with me.

Now I'm by myself and very upset. Well, if I can't share my thoughts and anecdotes from the way with him, then who?? I've talked with a lot of people about it, but they quickly change the subject, and I don't want them to be annoyed by me, so I don't do it too often either.

Am I crazy? The one man which I shared the whole experience with, which I actually CHOSE to share my experience with, because he asked me, if he could go with me, don't want to talk with me about it?

After we came home from the way, he spoke so rarely about it, every time he actually did surprised me. I didn't talk about it at that time either, but that was because I was afraid to be too much.

I didn't know I was a pain in the a** all this time.

Have some of you experienced this? What did you do?

Much love from Scandinavia.

 

[AussieGayle]

My husband and I walked our first Camino May/June last year, it is on my mind all the time, it inspires me daily and is the best thing I've ever done...and I can't wait to do it all again!! But for my husband, it was simply a long hike, good exercise and no more.

I was missing it so much when we returned home that in a way I think I was in mourning, the return to normal life was difficult for me, some days it feels like I'm in a life which doesn't fit me any more. That feeling has subsided with time but one day I went to him and said how incredibly important it was to me to do it all again. So we are now planning the Camino Portuguese, I know for him it's just another holiday but for me the weeks can't go quickly enough until I'm back there again.

I have found I need to be among like-minded people though, like me who live and breathe the Camino experience, who have found deep meaning in it, who love the 'walking meditation' of it, that deep connection to others and to nature, and so much more. I guess I don't need to explain all that to you! I have kept in touch with a handful of people all over the world that we met on our walk; they too were badly bitten by the Camino bug so emailing them does help a lot, I know they yearn for it as much as I do.

So you know what? You are not a pain in the a** at all, the call of the Camino is strong in you and you are definitely not alone in that! All any of us can do in this world is stay true to ourselves and follow our hearts.

 

[Jan thornton]

Hi everyone,

So I walked in aug-sep 2015 with my boyfriend, who I love very deeply. We have been together for 3 years.

I tend to be very enthusiastic about our trip and I love to relive memories with him, or share some news from the way and generally I just like to talk about it. It's becoming a very big part of me, because I grew a lot personally on the way and after, and I want to go again this summer.

But today he dropped this on me; "You talk too much about the Camino. You talk about it at least once every day and it annoys me every time. It makes me not wanting to go with you again." - I tried to explain that I have no other that him to share my thoughts with, because no other would understand. He became very angry and didn't want to talk with me.

Now I'm by myself and very upset. Well, if I can't share my thoughts and anecdotes from the way with him, then who?? I've talked with a lot of people about it, but they quickly change the subject, and I don't want them to be annoyed by me, so I don't do it too often either.

Am I crazy? The one man which I shared the whole experience with, which I actually CHOSE to share my experience with, because he asked me, if he could go with me, don't want to talk with me about it?

After we came home from the way, he spoke so rarely about it, every time he actually did surprised me. I didn't talk about it at that time either, but that was because I was afraid to be too much.

I didn't know I was a pain in the a** all this time.

Have some of you experienced this? What did you do?

Much love from Scandinavia.

Hi. I'm doing the Camino Aug/Sept this year. Very excited. What was the weather like I'm hoping it won't be mid 30s every day

 

[El Condor 2014]

@Skandinaviangirl .
I know how you feel and You are perfectly normal,
After returning from my Camino my best friend was not interested at all in my adventure. Every time I started talking to him about a particular experience I had in El Camino he would change the conversation before I even finished the first sentence.
I, like you got upset about it.
Now I just drop small short sentence about El Camino and I change the conversation before he does.
All of the above comments from my fellow pilgrims are spot on and I get a good laugh.
And YES, I must confess I am also a Camino addict ( in 3 months time I will be doing another Camino).
Most people are caught up in their monotonous everyday problems to visualized what you are trying to share with them
I find that by watching Camino videos in youtube and reading Camino Forums is very relaxing and rewarding !
Take it easy and best of luck .

 

[nomadko]

Hi everyone,

So I walked in aug-sep 2015 with my boyfriend, who I love very deeply. We have been together for 3 years.

I tend to be very enthusiastic about our trip and I love to relive memories with him, or share some news from the way and generally I just like to talk about it. It's becoming a very big part of me, because I grew a lot personally on the way and after, and I want to go again this summer.

But today he dropped this on me; "You talk too much about the Camino. You talk about it at least once every day and it annoys me every time. It makes me not wanting to go with you again." - I tried to explain that I have no other that him to share my thoughts with, because no other would understand. He became very angry and didn't want to talk with me.

Now I'm by myself and very upset. Well, if I can't share my thoughts and anecdotes from the way with him, then who?? I've talked with a lot of people about it, but they quickly change the subject, and I don't want them to be annoyed by me, so I don't do it too often either.

Am I crazy? The one man which I shared the whole experience with, which I actually CHOSE to share my experience with, because he asked me, if he could go with me, don't want to talk with me about it?

After we came home from the way, he spoke so rarely about it, every time he actually did surprised me. I didn't talk about it at that time either, but that was because I was afraid to be too much.

I didn't know I was a pain in the a** all this time.

Have some of you experienced this? What did you do?

Much love from Scandinavia.

I have not even walked the Camino yet and I am an adict! I leave on March 15 from New England and head to Pamplona... it's all I can think and talk about! Great advice from the Camino Veterans... post in this most awesome forum... Here there are thousands of Camino adicts

 

[Devon Mike]

Hi. I'm doing the Camino Aug/Sept this year. Very excited. What was the weather like I'm hoping it won't be mid 30s every day

I walked the Camino Frances in May/June in 2014 and again last year. Both times it was mid 30's almost every day, so you can expect it much of the time in August/September too. That is why many people start early to be finished around lunchtime and avoid the really hot afternoons.

Buen Camino,

Mike

 

[freespirit]

Hi everyone,

So I walked in aug-sep 2015 with my boyfriend, who I love very deeply. We have been together for 3 years.

I tend to be very enthusiastic about our trip and I love to relive memories with him, or share some news from the way and generally I just like to talk about it. It's becoming a very big part of me, because I grew a lot personally on the way and after, and I want to go again this summer.

But today he dropped this on me; "You talk too much about the Camino. You talk about it at least once every day and it annoys me every time. It makes me not wanting to go with you again." - I tried to explain that I have no other that him to share my thoughts with, because no other would understand. He became very angry and didn't want to talk with me.

Now I'm by myself and very upset. Well, if I can't share my thoughts and anecdotes from the way with him, then who?? I've talked with a lot of people about it, but they quickly change the subject, and I don't want them to be annoyed by me, so I don't do it too often either.

Am I crazy? The one man which I shared the whole experience with, which I actually CHOSE to share my experience with, because he asked me, if he could go with me, don't want to talk with me about it?

After we came home from the way, he spoke so rarely about it, every time he actually did surprised me. I didn't talk about it at that time either, but that was because I was afraid to be too much.

I didn't know I was a pain in the a** all this time.

Have some of you experienced this? What did you do?

Much love from Scandinavia.

Hi so you like to talk about the Camino good on you,so do I when ever I can being a
Camino addict ,also I cant stop reading about the Camino in books or on the Net,and even started making Tortilla de potata at least once a week with my red wine,having done the Camino in 2010 and last August 2015 am hoping to go back this year June or July when the weather is nice and hot, walking the Camino seems to get in your blood,so good luck with your walking and talking,

 

[Victoria_Peregrina]

Original post here! Really Important!

FIY
...whether he likes my camino-blathering or not.
...He is not an addict, great (or maybe not?) for him!

Much love from Scandinavia!

Dear Skandinaviangirl,

Thank you for an interesting and thought provoking discussion. You have received a variety of suggestions and, clearly, you can't and shouldn't follow all of them. Thus, please feel free to treat mine critically, too.

There are no rights and wrongs in one's emotions. If you feel emotionally attached to the Camino and need to discuss it, your need is as legitimate as your partner's need not to talk about it. My suggestion is related to the use of words. When you are using expressions such as "camino-blathering" and "camino addiction" you are implying that your needs are inferior to your partner's.

Words matter. When you are using words that imply your weakness you are undermining your needs primarily to yourself, and also to your partner.

There is a fine line between self-deprecating humor and self-sabotage. In my observations, self-deprecation works well from the position of strength, not weakness. A Nobel-winning scientist may admit that he does not understand a difficult concept, and it will come across as sincere and appealing. A graduate student may admit to not understanding the same concept, in the same words, and it will come across as the lack of ability or rigor. Paradoxically, you can safely admit weaknesses only when you feel strong.

Likewise, with the Camino, all frequent participants of this Forum can freely admit that we are addicts and that we can't control our need to discuss it. We do it from the position of strength, we are implicitly bragging that we had a unique, tough experience that has left a lasting impression on our lives and enriched our existence.

However, this self-deprecation has an opposite effect--on the others as well as on ourselves--when we act defensively with those who consider us weak for not being able to control ourselves.

Words matter!

Much love from the United States,
Victoria

 

[t2andreo]

Do you know you can get a one year visa for Spain for non-lucrative purposes? http://www.exteriores.gob.es/Consul...o/Documents/documentosvisados/nolucrativa.pdf Interestingly after one year you can apply to renew - renewals are good for 2 years each. After 5 years you can apply for permanent residency.

Yes, I have “been there done that.” However, the application process is not easy or quick. I have researched the matter thoroughly. \

According to my research, you apply for a "visa for retirement." It allows you to live indefinitely in Spain, but as all other long-stay visas has to be renewed annually. There is (of course) a fee and a form attached. But the renewal is usually handled locally, likely at the police station. The major stipulation is that you must prove independent means, that you will NOT need to work in Spain.

Just obtaining the required police background check certification from the FBI, here in the US, can take from nine-months to a year. Then it must be translated into Spanish by an official, Embassy-approved translator. And THAT is exclusive of the Spanish visa process. But they will not accept your application package without the required certification.

The original application must be made at the Spanish Embassy or Consulate near where you live. When I lived in Northern Virginia, that would have been the Embassy in Washington. Now that I live in Southern Florida, I must go to the Consulate General at Miami. The Spanish Embassy website for your country will advise you where to make application according to your place of residence.

FTI / BTW: Here, in Florida, it is possible to hire an Embassy-approved attorney who can handle the entire visa process for me, at a significant cost...naturally. So, I am avoiding that if possible.

So, needs must. At least for this year, I choose to use my many frequent flyer miles to offset some of the costs involved in flying back and forth to Spain several times this year. I will confer with officials in Spain while I am there to find out if there is perhaps an easier, but legal way to obtain whatever permission I would need to remain for longer block of time, to work as a volunteer.

I spent much of my US government career as an immigration officer. So I well understand the rules, how to negotiate them, and when to comply rigidly with them. Perhaps Santiago has friends in far-away places? Who can say? But, I do prefer to stay on the sunny side of all laws. After all, we are all visitors in Spain. We are bound to comply with their laws.

In this regard, I have a simple, technical question. Perhaps one of our colleagues in Europe can answer the question, or can ask a friend or relative who can provide a clear answer. Here goes:

PREMISE:

I know for a fact, based on professional experience and research, that ALL persons entering the Schengen Area from outside the Schengen area have their identity checked against multiple, Schengen-wide, European-wide, and worldwide lists (databases) of "wanted persons." Countries share this information to form a “dragnet.” Interpol and Europe are key players in this effort.

I also know for a fact that all passport control officers are "supposed" to review ALL your entry and exit stamps every time you enter or lease the Schengen Area to identify visa overstays. Think so? Do pay attention next time!

POINT QUESTION:

Does anyone know for a FACT, if the passports of ALL persons entering ANY Schengen nation are electronically "read" against a master database, shared by ALL Schengen nations in real-time, of all travelers coming or going to or from any place in the Schengen area from outside the Schengen Area? This is exclusive of the database check to identify criminals or other wanted persons.

CLARIFIER:

We all know that one "swipe" or read of your passport can be used to compare the identity information against many databases at one time.

I am seeking to determine if the Schengen travel area, or the EU is currently maintaining a master database of ALL arrival and departure from all Schengen or EU countries in real-time.

FYI and by comparison, the UK, Canada, and the US (among many other nations around the world) maintain a master database that reads each document or arrival and (supposedly but not actually) on departure. The appropriate databases are checked to identify persons of interest. So too, are entry and exit dates checked and elapsed time in the country (area) computed and made available to the Passport Control Officer, in real time.

BOTTOM LINE:

I am assessing the overall Schengen Area passport control function to determine if, say Italy for example, is reporting all arrivals to a central database, and if another country, say Belgium for example, is also reporting all departures from the Schengen area at its airports, so a simple document to document match and date computation can be made.

Finally does anyone know, FOR A FACT, what the situation is regarding passport control at Spanish international airports.

You can draw your own conclusions, but this all relates to the Camino...

 

[Misfitter]

My husband has walked many caminos with me but he is like your partner, @Skandinaviangirl - he is just not an enthusiast. He comes with me, he tells everyone, only because he loves me. And enjoys the food. And knows it is good exercise. That's it. So he is not at all interested in talking about it and warns people (and me) that I am a bore on the subject. Which is undoubtedly true; I have learnt to only "talk camino" with those contemplating going or who share my passion.

I would not worry about it; the best and most loving of couples sometimes have very few interests in common. Personalities can complement and enhance each other without sharing enthusiasms. My husband loves motorbikes and flying small planes. I like walking caminos. The friends we make doing those things (usually separately) enlarge our shared world.

Hi Kanga, I am doing my first Camino this year starting on May 5 from SJPDP. I am going to the Pilgrim meeting in Sydney next Saturday. I would love to meet you. Will you be there ?
Julie

 

[movinmaggie]

View attachment 23680

David I have a question about the visual you posted. May I send you a PM? Thanks….Maggie

 

[J F Gregory]

I have been involved in several spiritual journeys in my life that have effectively made changes in my life for the good and I get excited about it. I found after a while I was being a pain in the A**. What I have found in my years of experience I never speak of these things unless asked to do so. My immediate response is " Do you really want to talk about this or are you being polite". If they are truly interested we'll talk. I have traveled much Europe, middle east, Africa, I have a lot of stories, perhaps my children will read them in my journals after I am dead. By the way I am walking my first Camino in March.
I encourage you to write about your experience, thought and learning's. Leave them for others to read and learn about you in their time.

 

[Skandinaviangirl]

I have been involved in several spiritual journeys in my life that have effectively made changes in my life for the good and I get excited about it. I found after a while I was being a pain in the A**. What I have found in my years of experience I never speak of these things unless asked to do so. My immediate response is " Do you really want to talk about this or are you being polite". If they are truly interested we'll talk. I have traveled much Europe, middle east, Africa, I have a lot of stories, perhaps my children will read them in my journals after I am dead. By the way I am walking my first Camino in March.
I encourage you to write about your experience, thought and learning's. Leave them for others to read and learn about you in their time.

I love your response.
I would gladly lay ears to your stories, if I ever were to meet you!
Thank you for your encouragement about writing down my experiences. I already have a journal, which I write in occasionally, but on the Camino I did write every day.

Buen Camino, fellow pelegrino!

 

[Rebekah Scott]

My husband and I live on the camino, and have pilgrims in the house a lot of the time. He has walked the camino, and is the most generous and welcoming man I know, but he is just not into the whole camino scene like I am.
And that is how it is. I find something very profound out there that he doesn't see, but I cannot love him less for that. It's our differences, and our tolerance, that make our partnership work.
Like Leonard Cohen (and Lao Tsu) say, "forget your perfect offerings. There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in."

 

[domigee]

It's our differences, and our tolerance, that make our partnership work.
Like Leonard Cohen (and Lao Tsu) say, "forget your perfect offerings. There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in."

Beautifully put.

 

[lunna]

Each camino is great - talking about each past camino though is, well, history. We always have to move on after we finish something. But the good thing is that we can plan for the next one. So I kind of understand your boyfriend.

 

[El Gallo]

I was first inspired to walk the Camino by the Film "The Way" I couldn't think of anything else for the whole 13 months of planning.
I'd talk, dream, research and plan, impulse buy then change my mind and buy something different, but never really knew what was ahead of me... the emotional highs and lows the real feeling of muscle pain and blisters to be honest I had no idea why I had and still have such a passion for the Camino...
My first Camino was in May 2012 my second May 2015 and am planning my next Camino for June 2018 and I am as excited now as I was on my first.
I do find that people around me switch off, out of either not having done the Camino or and not understanding the passionate pull it has on me, whether it is the soul searching, fitness and self satisfaction of such an achievement or just the walking with like minded people or alone to reflect when the need takes you... "I haven't a clue" but the longing to be on the Camino is with me every day.
I can only explain my feelings and memories of the Camino... To me it's like falling in love for the first time and feeling of wanting to spend every minute of every day together and day dreaming of it when your apart...

What ever the thoughts and reactions of some of the people around you when your inner passion for the Camino flows can be a bit like a slap around the face with a wet fish... "Chin up...! take a Deep breath and carry on Planning your next Camino"

Buen Camino
Bryan

I could have written the same words. When I tell people that I need to go back again, the usual response is, WHY?!?!? Many just don't understand. I compensate being away by visiting this forum as often as possible.
Buen Camino

 

[AlwynWellington]

I am doing my first Camino this year starting on May 5 from SJPDP

@Misfitter, hi.

I plan to start at Le Puy in southern central France very early April.
And hope to pass through SJPdP late April/early May. I most probably will NOT have a glass (of cranberry juice, of course) held to my lips, except in the evenings. However my golden locks (as they were) will be visible, as will my full facial set. We may catch up.

Seeing you are from Sydney you may care to get quite a bit of hill work (both up and down) into your training schedule to help make the first few days a little bit easier.

Buen camino. Kia kaha.

 

[AlwynWellington]

I spent much of my US government career as an immigration officer.

Tom, you may be able to give me some insights.

I have now sent a private message.

 

[Kanga]

@AlwynWellington maybe this should be by PM (private message)? See your inbox to "start a conversation". n

 

[t2andreo]

Yup, I concur with Kanga follow the directions and send me a private conversation. I will take this under advisement and do some "noodling around." I have some thoughts, but as Kanga said, it is best kept offline.

Later...

 

[Misfitter]

@Misfitter, hi.

I plan to start at Le Puy in southern central France very early April.
And hope to pass through SJPdP late April/early May. I most probably will NOT have a glass (of cranberry juice, of course) held to my lips, except in the evenings. However my golden locks (as they were) will be visible, as will my full facial set. We may catch up.

Seeing you are from Sydney you may care to get quite a bit of hill work (both up and down) into your training schedule to help make the first few days a little bit easier.

Buen camino. Kia kaha.

Hello Alwyn, I will most definitely keep a look out for you. Thanks for the tip re hill work. Fortunately I live in the Royal National Park so I have plenty of hill practice under my belt !

Buen Camino

 

[angeliki louk]

Hi everyone,

So I walked in aug-sep 2015 with my boyfriend, who I love very deeply. We have been together for 3 years.

I tend to be very enthusiastic about our trip and I love to relive memories with him, or share some news from the way and generally I just like to talk about it. It's becoming a very big part of me, because I grew a lot personally on the way and after, and I want to go again this summer.

But today he dropped this on me; "You talk too much about the Camino. You talk about it at least once every day and it annoys me every time. It makes me not wanting to go with you again." - I tried to explain that I have no other that him to share my thoughts with, because no other would understand. He became very angry and didn't want to talk with me.

Now I'm by myself and very upset. Well, if I can't share my thoughts and anecdotes from the way with him, then who?? I've talked with a lot of people about it, but they quickly change the subject, and I don't want them to be annoyed by me, so I don't do it too often either.

Am I crazy? The one man which I shared the whole experience with, which I actually CHOSE to share my experience with, because he asked me, if he could go with me, don't want to talk with me about it?

After we came home from the way, he spoke so rarely about it, every time he actually did surprised me. I didn't talk about it at that time either, but that was because I was afraid to be too much.

I didn't know I was a pain in the a** all this time.

Have some of you experienced this? What did you do?

Much love from Scandinavia.

Hallo!!!!i think most of the people in this forum are people that are really connected with the way....I am like you....I have done two.,,at my last one met the person that I am with right now and I talk all the time about the camino.....two month ago we found out that we are expecting a baby and the first thing that I said was "ok so when are we going to walk the portugese way that we had agreed and ok when the baby is 2 we will go all together and we will carry the baby hahahhah!!!!!so even now that I am experiencing my first pregnancy I think and talk all the time about the Camino!
So just enjoy that feeling that the way gave you.........and come here and shared your thoughts more often than with your partner since for him didn't have the same impact......the camino influences people in a different way so just accept that for you was something stronger and don't feel bad.
I think here everuone likes to share memories for the camino!!!!!!!
Keep talking and keep walking !!!!!

 

[ratyoke]

I have been involved in several spiritual journeys in my life that have effectively made changes in my life for the good and I get excited about it. I found after a while I was being a pain in the A**. What I have found in my years of experience I never speak of these things unless asked to do so. ....

Sadly, I have been learning this too over the past few years. I'm living abroad now, and once went back to the US to visit after being away for two years. My closest friend had almost no interest in hearing anything about it. Most of my old friends are like that. So, as difficult as it is, I try not to talk about life abroad or my travels with them.

 

[AlwynWellington]

maybe this should be by PM

Done, thanks

 

[gypsywind]

Hi everyone,

So I walked in aug-sep 2015 with my boyfriend, who I love very deeply. We have been together for 3 years.

I tend to be very enthusiastic about our trip and I love to relive memories with him, or share some news from the way and generally I just like to talk about it. It's becoming a very big part of me, because I grew a lot personally on the way and after, and I want to go again this summer.

But today he dropped this on me; "You talk too much about the Camino. You talk about it at least once every day and it annoys me every time. It makes me not wanting to go with you again." - I tried to explain that I have no other that him to share my thoughts with, because no other would understand. He became very angry and didn't want to talk with me.

Now I'm by myself and very upset. Well, if I can't share my thoughts and anecdotes from the way with him, then who?? I've talked with a lot of people about it, but they quickly change the subject, and I don't want them to be annoyed by me, so I don't do it too often either.

Am I crazy? The one man which I shared the whole experience with, which I actually CHOSE to share my experience with, because he asked me, if he could go with me, don't want to talk with me about it?

After we came home from the way, he spoke so rarely about it, every time he actually did surprised me. I didn't talk about it at that time either, but that was because I was afraid to be too much.

I didn't know I was a pain in the a** all this time.

Have some of you experienced this? What did you do?

Much love from Scandinavia.

You know what partially moved me towards going on my firat camino-starting apr.1,2016 ? None of my friends said so, but I realized , all I talked about before, to everyone, cuz it consumed my life, was my work, soooooo, you surround yourself with people who are happy to hear you talk about something that makes you happy!!! If not him, an old friend, a new friend, or a Camino Forum Friend. You Sing on Girl !!! It beats all the sadness in this world being spread!!! Gypsywind

 

[Texas Walker]

Yes, I have “been there done that.” However, the application process is not easy or quick. I have researched the matter thoroughly. \

According to my research, you apply for a "visa for retirement." It allows you to live indefinitely in Spain, but as all other long-stay visas has to be renewed annually. There is (of course) a fee and a form attached. But the renewal is usually handled locally, likely at the police station. The major stipulation is that you must prove independent means, that you will NOT need to work in Spain.

Just obtaining the required police background check certification from the FBI, here in the US, can take from nine-months to a year. Then it must be translated into Spanish by an official, Embassy-approved translator. And THAT is exclusive of the Spanish visa process. But they will not accept your application package without the required certification.

The original application must be made at the Spanish Embassy or Consulate near where you live. When I lived in Northern Virginia, that would have been the Embassy in Washington. Now that I live in Southern Florida, I must go to the Consulate General at Miami. The Spanish Embassy website for your country will advise you where to make application according to your place of residence.

FTI / BTW: Here, in Florida, it is possible to hire an Embassy-approved attorney who can handle the entire visa process for me, at a significant cost...naturally. So, I am avoiding that if possible.

So, needs must. At least for this year, I choose to use my many frequent flyer miles to offset some of the costs involved in flying back and forth to Spain several times this year. I will confer with officials in Spain while I am there to find out if there is perhaps an easier, but legal way to obtain whatever permission I would need to remain for longer block of time, to work as a volunteer.

I spent much of my US government career as an immigration officer. So I well understand the rules, how to negotiate them, and when to comply rigidly with them. Perhaps Santiago has friends in far-away places? Who can say? But, I do prefer to stay on the sunny side of all laws. After all, we are all visitors in Spain. We are bound to comply with their laws.

In this regard, I have a simple, technical question. Perhaps one of our colleagues in Europe can answer the question, or can ask a friend or relative who can provide a clear answer. Here goes:

PREMISE:

I know for a fact, based on professional experience and research, that ALL persons entering the Schengen Area from outside the Schengen area have their identity checked against multiple, Schengen-wide, European-wide, and worldwide lists (databases) of "wanted persons." Countries share this information to form a “dragnet.” Interpol and Europe are key players in this effort.

I also know for a fact that all passport control officers are "supposed" to review ALL your entry and exit stamps every time you enter or lease the Schengen Area to identify visa overstays. Think so? Do pay attention next time!

POINT QUESTION:

Does anyone know for a FACT, if the passports of ALL persons entering ANY Schengen nation are electronically "read" against a master database, shared by ALL Schengen nations in real-time, of all travelers coming or going to or from any place in the Schengen area from outside the Schengen Area? This is exclusive of the database check to identify criminals or other wanted persons.

CLARIFIER:

We all know that one "swipe" or read of your passport can be used to compare the identity information against many databases at one time.

I am seeking to determine if the Schengen travel area, or the EU is currently maintaining a master database of ALL arrival and departure from all Schengen or EU countries in real-time.

FYI and by comparison, the UK, Canada, and the US (among many other nations around the world) maintain a master database that reads each document or arrival and (supposedly but not actually) on departure. The appropriate databases are checked to identify persons of interest. So too, are entry and exit dates checked and elapsed time in the country (area) computed and made available to the Passport Control Officer, in real time.

BOTTOM LINE:

I am assessing the overall Schengen Area passport control function to determine if, say Italy for example, is reporting all arrivals to a central database, and if another country, say Belgium for example, is also reporting all departures from the Schengen area at its airports, so a simple document to document match and date computation can be made.

Finally does anyone know, FOR A FACT, what the situation is regarding passport control at Spanish international airports.

You can draw your own conclusions, but this all relates to the Camino...

For what it's worth, I relate my experience flying home from Madrid after the CF in 2014. First, it was apparently a time of heightened fussiness and passport-watching. (Fourth of July time frame.) Second, when they did pre-check in the airport line, it was an issue when they looked at our passports and saw that we'd checked in at Biarritz in France some 5 weeks or so previous, and now here we were in Madrid leaving and no passport stamps between. (Hey, they can always put a kiosk with an officer on that cattle guard in the Pyrenees if they want. I wouldn't mind!) But then the lady looked at our Camino Tee shirts and said, oh, the Camino. They asked for our Camino passports and then put their heads together over our passports and our Credeciales and then came back and said, It's OK. And gave our our collection of Security stickers. Which promptly tried to come off of the packs!
So, I don't know if that has any bearing on your concern, but HTH anyway.

 

[koilife]

I have to laugh that one of the many oddities of the Camino (and incongruities of this forum) is that a quote urging one to go on pilgrimage comes from the same person (Nietzsche) who infamously declared,
Do we not hear anything yet of the noise of the gravediggers who are burying God?
Do we not smell anything yet of God's decomposition? Gods too decompose.
God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him.

To @Skandinaviangirl, good for you and very best wishes for you and your boyfriend! May God (who I suspect is not dead) bless you both!

 

[Wiebmer]

We had Camino friends visit us in New Orleans. What a gift. We shared so much...and we both did it with our spouses, which created an extraordinary bond as well. And yet, there are those who do not have the same spiritual experience on the pilgrimage -- they primarily want a nice walk. Sigh...what an amazing and complicated world we live in.

 

[Angie94]

I encourage you to write about your experience, thought and learning's. Leave them for others to read and learn about you in their time.

For me, I have found this to be the way to go ~ key words being... in their time.

 

[rector]

My name is John and I am an addict, with a wife who has done the camino from St Jean with me 3.25 times. She though, has been married to me for 45 years. I also have a life that means I listen to a lot of people, and I feel that I have a suggestion for you. I talk camino talk because I love it, but there is point that can be reached where the love expressed for the camino exceeds that expressed for our partner (I hate that expression, makes me think of a cowboy's side kick), or even suggests that the only place that we were truly happy was on the camino DANGER!!!!! The answer is simple we men are shallow, talk about him and all will be well. I don't think I can say God be with you on this forum, so may the universe, or the force be with you, what ever floats your boat!
PS did you notice how many people talked about their problems rather than yours, I get that all the time.