Walking with my wife could have been a mistake!

[Robo]

I was mulling over this question as I ducked out of the little bed and breakfast early.

Today was going to be a 'big' day and I hadn't slept well. I needed a strong coffee from the cafe nearby.....

The coffee was just what I needed and I grabbed another one to take with me.

When I got to the room Pat was still asleep. I sat quietly by the bed and took in the scene.

You must have done it too? Watched your partner sleeping....

Her jet black curls and olive skin were a stark contrast with the pristine white sheets and pillow. She seemed deep asleep. Maybe dreaming ?

Don't worry, it's not going to be 'that' type of story.....

I settled back with my coffee and pondered that question again..... walking alone versus walking with a partner. I'd have time to think it through. She wouldn't wake for another hour or two.

You see, last year I had the luxury of walking a Camino alone. From St Jean to Santiago. A slow journey of 40 days. And one of the questions I pondered last year was the sense of selfishness that I felt. Taking 40 days out. All for me. Whilst others were left to 'mind the store'.

But it was a fantastic experience. I loved it. I was totally unplugged from my work and everyday life, other than a brief online call with my wife Pat each day.

Her father was sick you see, and I guess that added to my feelings of guilt a bit. So I tried at least to give moral support on the phone each day. Even though I felt I should be at home, Pat kept insisting that I complete my Camino 'for both of us'.

And to be honest, I loved the time alone. To reflect and ponder and just enjoy the journey. It was amazing. I won't go into it all now though. I even made a mini movie to share the experience! (Link Here) http://robscamino.com/robs-journey/


So.....This year I was walking with Pat. ....

A shorter Camino. Just from Sarria. Pat wanted a 'taste' of the Camino without committing to 800 kms!

Now Pat, well she's a city girl. Not used to the outdoors at all. Even the thought of having to pee in the woods was putting her off a bit. But she wanted to give it a try.


We finished two weeks ago. ......

And we were now in Verona in Northern Italy. Part of the 'deal' was, that after our Camino we'd travel in Europe for a couple of weeks. And in true Camino spirit we walked as much as we could and only booked a couple of days ahead. We used trains a lot, which proved to be a great was to see the landscapes.

We must have pounded the streets for 15 km or more every day in Paris, Prague, Vienna, Munich, and now we were in Verona. Next we planned to go back through France to London and then fly home to Sydney via Bangkok.

It had been a great trip so far. With our Camino as the highlight of course. And Pat was already open to the idea of walking another one. Maybe longer. And this kept bringing me back to that question!

The 'elephant in the room'.....

Was it better alone, or walking with Pat? A very selfish question I know. But one worth thinking through....


OK. Both were good, but very different. Very!

In terms of the emotional and spiritual journey, alone won 'hands down'. Having your partner with you 24 hours a day was not really a full break from Normal life. How could it be? Sure it was lonely at times walking alone, but the solitude brought with it deep reflection and almost total isolation from the 'normal' day to day. This really enhanced the emotional and spiritual elements of the journey. For me at least...

But walking with Pat was great too. OK, I felt a bit like a tour guide. I tend to go over the top making sure that she is comfortable. I'd expected it to be a struggle for her and had already made up my mind that this was to be 'her' Camino.

So I had planned our stages as a very slow build up. She wasn't able to train you see, due to suffering from Plantar Faciitis. Though Cortesone injections a week before departure seemed to help a lot. But I was surprised and very proud of the way she handled it. The slow build up worked really well, and we managed the plantar pain with prescribed meds.

Her concerns about the local food, our lodgings and being able to walk the distance all fell away. She actually found 100 kms was too short! As she was just getting into the 'zone' in the last day or two.

So whilst from my view the Camino was not really the same as last year from an emotional and spiritual perspective, I still gained and learnt a huge amount.

Such as; the walk from Sarria to Santiago is certainly worth doing in its own right! It's not just the 'final straight' into Santiago.....

That walking with a partner is a very different experience. Everything needs to be much more considered. Discussed. Agreed. Where to stay, where to eat, when to take a break.

And walking with a partner is kind of bringing 'home' with you.....

It also tended to isolate us more I think. There wasn't the same 'urge' or 'need' to connect with other pilgrims.

But I think our relationship certainly grew stronger....


Though at times it was also tested! Like the time I taped Pat's shins and removed the tape as I do on my own legs. By ripping it off!

A quick rip is always better than that slow hair pulling agony isn't it? Pat didn't think so, as about 2 cm of her skin came off with the tape! Ouch.....

But I saw Pat grow. That was a joy. As she became comfortable with her journey.

And Pat has always been rather a 'glass half empty' type of person, whereas I tend to the other way.

Strangely her views and expectations of the world seemed to be relaxing as a consequence of our Camino.

I must have dozed off.....

My head fell forward and I awoke with a start as Giavanna came into the room.
She was the senior nurse on the ward. And like 95% of the hospital staff spoke next to no English. ..

But with the help of Google, we managed.

She told me the surgery had gone well and Pat would be discharged in 3 days and should be clear to fly home in a week.

So our stay in Verona was going to be a bit longer... Without going into the details, Pat had complained of chest pain whilst walking around Verona.

Following a dash to the local emergency department and multiple tests, she was admitted for emergency surgery to remove her gall bladder. A bit of a stressful time as you can imagine, plus all the difficulties of language.

Our local doctor in Bangkok was an Angel though, spending a couple of hours on the phone with Pat, putting her mind at ease and answering all her medical questions. This all taking place Late at night while putting her daughter to bed! Camino Angels don't just exist on the Camino!

OK, so why is this relevant to our Camino?

Well, instead of all the normal stress and 'why me' and 'why here'.....Pat was very Philosophical about it all.....

"We're really lucky" she remarked.

"This didn't happen in some remote area of the Camino. It's happened at the end of our trip. And we'll still be able to catch our booked flights home"

"It happened in Verona that has a huge modern Hospital"

"And.....because it happened in Italy, that has a reciprocal health agreement with Australia, it didn't cost us a cent"! (Note. We did have travel insurance).

Wow. That was certainly a mind set change!


Fast forward 10 days.

We were on our way home. We live in Sydney but spend part of the year in Bangkok. Pat's family live there and I do some guest lecturing at a local university.

So we had planned a week in Bangkok on our way home. This of course would now give Pat time to recover more en route and also to drop in and see our 'local' doctor for a post surgery check up.

Our new friend Doctor 'Kal' works at a large local hospital near the family home. So we booked to see her to have Pat's stitches removed and also to get advice on post surgery care and diet. We decided to take Pat's Father with us.

A few months ago he had heart surgery. In fact whilst I was walking the Camino last year! He was feeling a bit tired and had a bit of chest pain. So we took him along to to see Dr Kal.


Long story short......


He was admitted on the spot!


I'm sitting with Pat and her family now. Dad has just been taken down to surgery to have a pacemaker fitted.

Yep. It's been one of those trips.....

Pat has been great. "Wow isn't it lucky we took him along for a check"!

(Whilst in ICU his breathing had stopped a few times)

Her family can't afford the surgery, so we were rearranging our finances to cover the costs. Another dip into the mortgage......


Unfortunately the hospital is private. ...and not cheap. So we also discussed having Dad moved to a government hospital.

But they can be a bit hit and miss here.

And It's Pat's Dad after all...... And this hospital is close to home..... and the staff know the family well....

The hospital is obliged to handle a certain number of social security patients but sadly their quota was filled years ago. So the family needs to attend a much more distant hospital to access government funded Healthcare. ..

No. We would just have to cover the cost. ....


Then yesterday the surgeon told us the surgery would be covered by government funding! It seems the surgeon, Dr Kal, and two other doctors who know the family put up a case, saying Dad was too ill to be moved to a government hospital. ...

Angels had stepped in again......


It's funny you know. Pat is rather like me. Not deeply religious in a traditional sense. But spiritual. Certainly a believer. And like me, all along the Camino she visited churches and offered up prayers of thanks for being there.

She now wears a beautiful silver crucifix we found in Santiago....

Not bad for someone brought up in a Buddhist culture. ....

A few times in recent days she has remarked. ...."someone up there is looking after us"....


I think you're right Pat. Someone is.


I also think walking the Camino helps change our view of the world and our circumstances.

As I remarked recently in a thread....

If you look for good in all things....you find good.... If you look for problems. .....you'll find plenty.


So.......

Walking alone or with a partner?

They're both good

 

[KristinSdV]

Very moving, Rob. Thanks for sharing the story. I'm glad it all worked out well in the end with both Pat and her father's health issues.

 

[GettingThere]

I was mulling over this question as I ducked out of the little bed and breakfast early.

Today was going to be a 'big' day and I hadn't slept well.

I needed a strong coffee from the cafe nearby.....

The coffee was just what I needed and I grabbed another one to take with me.

When I got to the room Pat was still asleep. I sat quietly by the bed and took in the scene.

You must have done it too. Watched your partner sleeping....

Her jet black curls and olive skin were a stark contrast with the pristine white sheets and pillow. She seemed deep asleep. Maybe dreaming ?

Don't worry, it's not going to be 'that' type of story.....

I settled back with my coffee and pondered that question again..... walking alone versus walking with a partner.

I'd have time to think it through. She wouldn't wake for another hour or two.

You see, last year I had the luxury of walking a Camino alone. From St Jean to Santiago. A slow journey of 40 days.

And one of the questions I pondered last year was the sense of selfishness that I felt. Taking 40 days out. All for me. Whilst others were left to 'mind the store'.

But it was a fantastic experience. I loved it. I was totally unplugged from my work and everyday life, other than a brief online call with my wife Pat each day.

Her father was sick you see, and I guess that added to my feelings of guilt a bit. So I tried at least to give moral support on the phone each day.

Even though I felt I should be at home, Pat kept insisting that I complete my Camino 'for both of us'.

And to be honest, I loved the time alone. To reflect and ponder and just enjoy the journey. It was amazing. I won't go into it all now though. I even made a mini movie to share the experience! (Link below)


So.....This year I was walking with Pat. ....

A shorter Camino. Just from Sarria. Pat wanted a 'taste' of the Camino without committing to 800 kms!

Now Pat, well she's a city girl. Not used to the outdoors at all. Even the thought of having to pee in the woods was putting her off a bit.

But she wanted to give it a try.


We finished two weeks ago. ......

And we were now in Verona in Northern Italy. Part of the 'deal' was, that after our Camino we'd travel in Europe for a couple of weeks.

And in true Camino spirit we walked as much as we could and only booked a couple of days ahead. We used trains a lot, which were a great was to see the landscapes.

We must have pounded the streets for 15 km or more every day in Paris, Prague, Vienna, Munich, and now we were in Verona.

Next we planned to go back through France to London and then fly home to Sydney via Bangkok.

It had been a great trip so far. With our Camino as the highlight of course.

And Pat was already open to the idea of walking another one. Maybe longer.

And this kept bringing me back to that question!

The 'elephant in the room'.....

Was it better alone, or walking with Pat? A very selfish question I know. But one worth thinking through....


OK. Both were good, but very different. Very!

In terms of the emotional and spiritual journey, alone won 'hands down'. Having your partner with you 24 hours a day was not really a full break from Normal life. How could it be?

Sure it was lonely at times walking alone, but the solitude brought with it deep reflection and almost total isolation from the 'normal' day to day.

This really enhanced the emotional and spiritual elements of the journey. For me at least...

But walking with Pat was great too. Sure, I felt a bit like a tour guide. I tend to go over the top making sure that she is comfortable. I expected it to be a struggle for her and had already made up my mind that this was to be 'her' Camino.

So I had planned our stages as a very slow build up. She wasn't able to train you see, due to suffering from Plantar Faciitis. Cortesone injections a week before departure seemed to help a lot.

But I was surprised and very proud of the way she handled it.

The slow build up worked really well. We managed the plantar pain with prescribed meds.

Her concerns about the local food, our lodgings and being able to walk the distance all fell away.

She actually found 100 kms was too short! As she was just getting into the 'zone' in the last day or two.

So whilst from my perspective the Camino was not really the same as last year from an emotional and spiritual perspective, I gained and learnt a huge amount.

Such as, the walk from Sarria to Santiago is certainly worth doing in its own right! It's not just the 'final straight' into Santiago.....

That walking with a partner is a very different experience. Everything needs to be much more considered. Discussed. Agreed. Where to stay, where to eat, when to take some break.

And walking with a partner is kind of bringing 'home' with you.....

It also tended to isolate us more I think. There wasn't the same 'urge' or 'need' to connect with other pilgrims.

But I think our relationship certainly grew stronger....


Though at times it was also tested!

Like the time I taped Pat's shins and removed the tape as I do on my own legs. By ripping it off!

A quick rip is always better than that slow hair pulling agony isn't it?

Pat didn't think so, as about 2 cm of her skin came off with the tape! Ouch.....

But I saw Pat grow. That was a joy. As she became comfortable with her journey.

And Pat has always been rather a 'glass half empty' type of person, whereas I tend to the other way.

Strangely her views and expectations of the world seemed to be relaxing as a consequence of our Camino.

My head fell forward and I awoke with a start as Giavanna came into the room.
She was the head nurse. And like 95% of the hospital staff spoke next to no English. ..

But with the help of Google, we managed.

She told me the surgery had gone well and Pat would be discharged in 3 days and should be clear to fly home in a week.

So our stay in Verona was going to be a bit longer...

Without going into the details, Pat had complained of chest pain whilst walking around Verona.

Following a dash to the local emergency department and multiple tests, she was admitted for emergency surgery to remove her gall bladder.

A bit of a stressful time as you can imagine, plus all the difficulties of language.

Our local doctor in Bangkok was an Angel, spending a couple of hours on the phone with Pat, putting her mind at ease and answering all her medical questions.

This all taking place Late at night while putting her daughter to bed!

Camino Angels don't just exist on the Camino!


OK, so why is this relevant to our Camino?

Well, instead of all the normal stress and 'why me' and 'why here'.....Pat was very Philosophical about it all.....

"We're really lucky" she remarked.

"This didn't happen in some remote area of the Camino. It's happened at the end of our trip. And we'll still be able to catch our booked flights home"

"It happened in Verona that has a huge modern Hospital"

"And.....because it happened in Italy, that has a reciprocal health agreement with Australia, it didn't cost us a cent"! (Note. We did have travel insurance).

Wow. That was certainly a mind set change!


Fast forward 10 days.

We were on our way home. We live in Sydney but spend part of the year in Bangkok. Pat's family live there and I do some guest lecturing at a local university.

So we had planned a week in Bangkok on our way home. This of course would give Pat time to recover more en route and also to drop in and see our 'local' doctor for a post surgery check up.

Our new friend Doctor 'Kal' works at a large local hospital near the family home.

So we booked to see her to have Pat's stitches removed and also to get advice on post surgery care and diet.

We decided to take Pat's Father with us.

A few months ago he had heart surgery. In fact whilst I was walking the Camino last year!

He was feeling a bit tired and had a bit of chest pain. So we took him along to to see Dr Kal.


Long story short......


He was admitted on the spot!


I'm sitting with Pat and her family now. Dad has just been taken down to surgery to have a pacemaker fitted.

Yep. It's been one of those trips.....

Pat has been great. "Wow isn't it lucky we took him along for a check"!

(Whilst in ICU his breathing had stopped a few times)

Her family can't afford the surgery, so we were rearranging our finances to cover the costs. Another dip into the mortgage......


Unfortunately the hospital is private. ...and not cheap. So we also discussed having Dad moved to a government hospital.

But they can be a bit hit and miss here.

And It's Pat's Dad after all...... And this hospital is close to home..... and the staff know the family well....

The hospital is obliged to handle a certain number of social security patients but sadly their quota was filled years ago.

So the family needs to attend a much more distant hospital to access government funded Healthcare. ..

No. We would just have to cover the cost. ....


Then yesterday the surgeon told us the surgery would be coveted by government funding!

It seems the surgeon, Dr Kal, and two other doctors who know the family put up a case, saying Dad was too ill to be moved to a government hospital. ...

Angels had stepped in again......


It's funny you know. Pat is rather like me. Not deeply religious in a traditional sense. But spiritual.

Certainly a believer.

And like me, all along the Camino she visited churches and offered up prayers of thanks for being there.

She now wears a beautiful silver crucifix we found in Santiago....

Not bad for someone brought up in a bhuddist culture. ....

A few times in recent days she has remarked. ...."someone up there is looking after us"....


I think you're right Pat. Someone is.


I also think walking the Camino helps change our view of the world and our circumstances.

As I remarked recently in a thread....

If you look for good in all things....you find good.... If you look for problems. .....you'll find plenty.


So.......

Walking alone or with a partner?

They're both good

Wow, Robo. Just wow! What a time you have had - scary for you both, both times. And those angels are everywhere, aren't they?! So very pleased that Pat's surgery went well, and that her father is in good hands for his. And that as she said, this all happened after you had such a great experience walking the Camino together. Thinking of you both, and sending all good wishes for Pat's continued speedy recovery and for her father's wellbeing after his pacemaker is fitted.
xx

 

[Jas Asyiken]

Greetings @Robo !! Of the many Camino videos I have watched, I found yours the most inspiring and authentic when I watched it about a month ago as a prompt from another forum. I am humbled by your humble reflections and more so the post-Camino section from Bangkok ofter your return. Thanks for sharing!! It made so much sense and I watched it at least 3 times after. Thanks for sharing!

This is another wonderful write up of your reflections. If we put differences aside, A being better or B, Buddhist or Christian (or whatever), white or olive skin, brown or black hair, rich or poor, caucasian or asian - we will naturally come to a level ground. In that space - you get to choose who you want to be. A good, considered, protective, grateful husband, a generous, compassionate, considered, responsible son in law and of cos...the humble, grateful and compassionate spirit that you sound to be from the video and your expressions. Kudos!! My hats off to you. Been Camino - for the rest of the journey in your life working on being the best version of you!

 

[C clearly]

I did wonder about you not giving any post-camino reflections. Glad to hear everything worked about so well!

 

[SabsP]

Robo : thank you for this warm and gentle post.

All my best to your father in law, Pat and you of course.

You are certainly a Camino Angel yourself.

 

[Robo]

Thank you all for your kind thoughts.

Pat is well and Dad is already sitting up in bed eating lunch

 

[VNwalking]

Such a touching post and reflections! Thank you for sharing them with us, Robo. Now we know why you've been relatively quiet here--I'd wondered about that.

Wow, you've both been in the middle of a whirlwind, and I'm glad to read that all is now well, thanks to those angels and devas (the Buddhist version)! May everyone heal quickly!

If we put differences aside, A being better or B, Buddhist or Christian (or whatever), white or olive skin, brown or black hair, rich or poor, caucasian or asian - we will naturally come to a level ground. In that space - you get to choose who you want to be. A good, considered, protective, grateful husband, a generous, compassionate, considered, responsible son in law and of cos...the humble, grateful and compassionate spirit that you sound to be from the video and your expressions. Kudos!!

Yes...Goodness is goodness...Buddhist, or Christian...and you both obviously have a lot of it! And-walking the Camino has brought even more goodness: seriously good karmic results!

 

[William Marques]

Thank you for telling your story.

 

[Wokabaut_Meri]

A beautifully balanced and reflective post. What a journey! So glad that everything is working itself out.

Looks like you have managed to stay 'on' the Camino long after you stepped off the Way.

 

[Bala]

Thank you for sharing, Robo. May all continue to go well for your wife and father-in-law.

 

[Mycamino Maya]

I was mulling over this question as I ducked out of the little bed and breakfast early.

Today was going to be a 'big' day and I hadn't slept well.

I needed a strong coffee from the cafe nearby.....

The coffee was just what I needed and I grabbed another one to take with me.

When I got to the room Pat was still asleep. I sat quietly by the bed and took in the scene.

You must have done it too? Watched your partner sleeping....

Her jet black curls and olive skin were a stark contrast with the pristine white sheets and pillow. She seemed deep asleep. Maybe dreaming ?

Don't worry, it's not going to be 'that' type of story.....

I settled back with my coffee and pondered that question again..... walking alone versus walking with a partner.

I'd have time to think it through. She wouldn't wake for another hour or two.

You see, last year I had the luxury of walking a Camino alone. From St Jean to Santiago. A slow journey of 40 days.

And one of the questions I pondered last year was the sense of selfishness that I felt. Taking 40 days out. All for me. Whilst others were left to 'mind the store'.

But it was a fantastic experience. I loved it. I was totally unplugged from my work and everyday life, other than a brief online call with my wife Pat each day.

Her father was sick you see, and I guess that added to my feelings of guilt a bit. So I tried at least to give moral support on the phone each day.

Even though I felt I should be at home, Pat kept insisting that I complete my Camino 'for both of us'.

And to be honest, I loved the time alone. To reflect and ponder and just enjoy the journey. It was amazing. I won't go into it all now though. I even made a mini movie to share the experience! (Link Here) http://robscamino.com/robs-journey/


So.....This year I was walking with Pat. ....

A shorter Camino. Just from Sarria. Pat wanted a 'taste' of the Camino without committing to 800 kms!

Now Pat, well she's a city girl. Not used to the outdoors at all. Even the thought of having to pee in the woods was putting her off a bit.

But she wanted to give it a try.


We finished two weeks ago. ......

And we were now in Verona in Northern Italy. Part of the 'deal' was, that after our Camino we'd travel in Europe for a couple of weeks.

And in true Camino spirit we walked as much as we could and only booked a couple of days ahead. We used trains a lot, which proved to be a great was to see the landscapes.

We must have pounded the streets for 15 km or more every day in Paris, Prague, Vienna, Munich, and now we were in Verona.

Next we planned to go back through France to London and then fly home to Sydney via Bangkok.

It had been a great trip so far. With our Camino as the highlight of course.

And Pat was already open to the idea of walking another one. Maybe longer.

And this kept bringing me back to that question!

The 'elephant in the room'.....

Was it better alone, or walking with Pat? A very selfish question I know. But one worth thinking through....


OK. Both were good, but very different. Very!

In terms of the emotional and spiritual journey, alone won 'hands down'. Having your partner with you 24 hours a day was not really a full break from Normal life. How could it be?

Sure it was lonely at times walking alone, but the solitude brought with it deep reflection and almost total isolation from the 'normal' day to day.

This really enhanced the emotional and spiritual elements of the journey. For me at least...

But walking with Pat was great too. OK, I felt a bit like a tour guide. I tend to go over the top making sure that she is comfortable. I'd expected it to be a struggle for her and had already made up my mind that this was to be 'her' Camino.

So I had planned our stages as a very slow build up. She wasn't able to train you see, due to suffering from Plantar Faciitis. Though Cortesone injections a week before departure seemed to help a lot.

But I was surprised and very proud of the way she handled it.

The slow build up worked really well, and we managed the plantar pain with prescribed meds.

Her concerns about the local food, our lodgings and being able to walk the distance all fell away.

She actually found 100 kms was too short! As she was just getting into the 'zone' in the last day or two.

So whilst from my perspective the Camino was not really the same as last year from an emotional and spiritual perspective, I still gained and learnt a huge amount.

Such as; the walk from Sarria to Santiago is certainly worth doing in its own right! It's not just the 'final straight' into Santiago.....

That walking with a partner is a very different experience. Everything needs to be much more considered. Discussed. Agreed. Where to stay, where to eat, when to take a break.

And walking with a partner is kind of bringing 'home' with you.....

It also tended to isolate us more I think. There wasn't the same 'urge' or 'need' to connect with other pilgrims.

But I think our relationship certainly grew stronger....


Though at times it was also tested!

Like the time I taped Pat's shins and removed the tape as I do on my own legs. By ripping it off!

A quick rip is always better than that slow hair pulling agony isn't it?

Pat didn't think so, as about 2 cm of her skin came off with the tape! Ouch.....

But I saw Pat grow. That was a joy. As she became comfortable with her journey.

And Pat has always been rather a 'glass half empty' type of person, whereas I tend to the other way.

Strangely her views and expectations of the world seemed to be relaxing as a consequence of our Camino.

I must have dozed off.....

My head fell forward and I awoke with a start as Giavanna came into the room.
She was the senior nurse on the ward. And like 95% of the hospital staff spoke next to no English. ..

But with the help of Google, we managed.

She told me the surgery had gone well and Pat would be discharged in 3 days and should be clear to fly home in a week.

So our stay in Verona was going to be a bit longer...

Without going into the details, Pat had complained of chest pain whilst walking around Verona.

Following a dash to the local emergency department and multiple tests, she was admitted for emergency surgery to remove her gall bladder.

A bit of a stressful time as you can imagine, plus all the difficulties of language.

Our local doctor in Bangkok was an Angel though, spending a couple of hours on the phone with Pat, putting her mind at ease and answering all her medical questions.

This all taking place Late at night while putting her daughter to bed!

Camino Angels don't just exist on the Camino!


OK, so why is this relevant to our Camino?

Well, instead of all the normal stress and 'why me' and 'why here'.....Pat was very Philosophical about it all.....

"We're really lucky" she remarked.

"This didn't happen in some remote area of the Camino. It's happened at the end of our trip. And we'll still be able to catch our booked flights home"

"It happened in Verona that has a huge modern Hospital"

"And.....because it happened in Italy, that has a reciprocal health agreement with Australia, it didn't cost us a cent"! (Note. We did have travel insurance).

Wow. That was certainly a mind set change!


Fast forward 10 days.

We were on our way home. We live in Sydney but spend part of the year in Bangkok. Pat's family live there and I do some guest lecturing at a local university.

So we had planned a week in Bangkok on our way home. This of course would give Pat time to recover more en route and also to drop in and see our 'local' doctor for a post surgery check up.

Our new friend Doctor 'Kal' works at a large local hospital near the family home.

So we booked to see her to have Pat's stitches removed and also to get advice on post surgery care and diet.

We decided to take Pat's Father with us.

A few months ago he had heart surgery. In fact whilst I was walking the Camino last year!

He was feeling a bit tired and had a bit of chest pain. So we took him along to to see Dr Kal.


Long story short......


He was admitted on the spot!


I'm sitting with Pat and her family now. Dad has just been taken down to surgery to have a pacemaker fitted.

Yep. It's been one of those trips.....

Pat has been great. "Wow isn't it lucky we took him along for a check"!

(Whilst in ICU his breathing had stopped a few times)

Her family can't afford the surgery, so we were rearranging our finances to cover the costs. Another dip into the mortgage......


Unfortunately the hospital is private. ...and not cheap. So we also discussed having Dad moved to a government hospital.

But they can be a bit hit and miss here.

And It's Pat's Dad after all...... And this hospital is close to home..... and the staff know the family well....

The hospital is obliged to handle a certain number of social security patients but sadly their quota was filled years ago.

So the family needs to attend a much more distant hospital to access government funded Healthcare. ..

No. We would just have to cover the cost. ....


Then yesterday the surgeon told us the surgery would be covered by government funding!

It seems the surgeon, Dr Kal, and two other doctors who know the family put up a case, saying Dad was too ill to be moved to a government hospital. ...

Angels had stepped in again......


It's funny you know. Pat is rather like me. Not deeply religious in a traditional sense. But spiritual.

Certainly a believer.

And like me, all along the Camino she visited churches and offered up prayers of thanks for being there.

She now wears a beautiful silver crucifix we found in Santiago....

Not bad for someone brought up in a Buddhist culture. ....

A few times in recent days she has remarked. ...."someone up there is looking after us"....


I think you're right Pat. Someone is.


I also think walking the Camino helps change our view of the world and our circumstances.

As I remarked recently in a thread....

If you look for good in all things....you find good.... If you look for problems. .....you'll find plenty.


So.......

Walking alone or with a partner?

They're both good

Dear Rob, you are asking alone or with your life partner. In 2015, my husband and I walked the camino Francés in 35 days. A year later my husband collapsed and never woke up again. It has now been 7 weeks and I cherish the 2 photoalbums of our trek together. Whilst on the camino he carried my bag, pricked my blisters and kept me motivated. I know that after 40 years of marriage it was a blessing to have been able to accomplish this with him. I know that our love for each other even got stronger. We had been planning our next camino the Le Puy. If I get my mental strength back I may consider a camino alone which you have already achieved and for me would be unfamiliar. At this point for me walking with my life partner was a blessing. I hope your wife and fatherinlaw recover fully and hope you can go back with your wife. Maya

 

[Jenn]

Wow a touching story, thank you for sharing. My first Camino (leaving from Australia) starts in two weeks (alone!) and I'm getting anxious. Tonight I was pondering travel insurance, Aus$100 or $400 option depending if pre existing illnesses are included. Think you've reminded me you can't put a price on health and to perhaps go the latter option. Hope everyone is on the mend soon.

 

[IngridF]

I was mulling over this question as I ducked out of the little bed and breakfast early.


Today was going to be a 'big' day and I hadn't slept well.

I needed a strong coffee from the cafe nearby.....

The coffee was just what I needed and I grabbed another one to take with me.

When I got to the room Pat was still asleep. I sat quietly by the bed and took in the scene.

You must have done it too? Watched your partner sleeping....

Her jet black curls and olive skin were a stark contrast with the pristine white sheets and pillow. She seemed deep asleep. Maybe dreaming ?

Don't worry, it's not going to be 'that' type of story.....

I settled back with my coffee and pondered that question again..... walking alone versus walking with a partner.

I'd have time to think it through. She wouldn't wake for another hour or two.

You see, last year I had the luxury of walking a Camino alone. From St Jean to Santiago. A slow journey of 40 days.

And one of the questions I pondered last year was the sense of selfishness that I felt. Taking 40 days out. All for me. Whilst others were left to 'mind the store'.

But it was a fantastic experience. I loved it. I was totally unplugged from my work and everyday life, other than a brief online call with my wife Pat each day.

Her father was sick you see, and I guess that added to my feelings of guilt a bit. So I tried at least to give moral support on the phone each day.

Even though I felt I should be at home, Pat kept insisting that I complete my Camino 'for both of us'.

And to be honest, I loved the time alone. To reflect and ponder and just enjoy the journey. It was amazing. I won't go into it all now though. I even made a mini movie to share the experience! (Link Here) http://robscamino.com/robs-journey/


So.....This year I was walking with Pat. ....

A shorter Camino. Just from Sarria. Pat wanted a 'taste' of the Camino without committing to 800 kms!

Now Pat, well she's a city girl. Not used to the outdoors at all. Even the thought of having to pee in the woods was putting her off a bit.

But she wanted to give it a try.


We finished two weeks ago. ......

And we were now in Verona in Northern Italy. Part of the 'deal' was, that after our Camino we'd travel in Europe for a couple of weeks.

And in true Camino spirit we walked as much as we could and only booked a couple of days ahead. We used trains a lot, which proved to be a great was to see the landscapes.

We must have pounded the streets for 15 km or more every day in Paris, Prague, Vienna, Munich, and now we were in Verona.

Next we planned to go back through France to London and then fly home to Sydney via Bangkok.

It had been a great trip so far. With our Camino as the highlight of course.

And Pat was already open to the idea of walking another one. Maybe longer.

And this kept bringing me back to that question!

The 'elephant in the room'.....

Was it better alone, or walking with Pat? A very selfish question I know. But one worth thinking through....


OK. Both were good, but very different. Very!

In terms of the emotional and spiritual journey, alone won 'hands down'. Having your partner with you 24 hours a day was not really a full break from Normal life. How could it be?

Sure it was lonely at times walking alone, but the solitude brought with it deep reflection and almost total isolation from the 'normal' day to day.

This really enhanced the emotional and spiritual elements of the journey. For me at least...

But walking with Pat was great too. OK, I felt a bit like a tour guide. I tend to go over the top making sure that she is comfortable. I'd expected it to be a struggle for her and had already made up my mind that this was to be 'her' Camino.

So I had planned our stages as a very slow build up. She wasn't able to train you see, due to suffering from Plantar Faciitis. Though Cortesone injections a week before departure seemed to help a lot.

But I was surprised and very proud of the way she handled it.

The slow build up worked really well, and we managed the plantar pain with prescribed meds.

Her concerns about the local food, our lodgings and being able to walk the distance all fell away.

She actually found 100 kms was too short! As she was just getting into the 'zone' in the last day or two.

So whilst from my perspective the Camino was not really the same as last year from an emotional and spiritual perspective, I still gained and learnt a huge amount.

Such as; the walk from Sarria to Santiago is certainly worth doing in its own right! It's not just the 'final straight' into Santiago.....

That walking with a partner is a very different experience. Everything needs to be much more considered. Discussed. Agreed. Where to stay, where to eat, when to take a break.

And walking with a partner is kind of bringing 'home' with you.....

It also tended to isolate us more I think. There wasn't the same 'urge' or 'need' to connect with other pilgrims.

But I think our relationship certainly grew stronger....


Though at times it was also tested!

Like the time I taped Pat's shins and removed the tape as I do on my own legs. By ripping it off!

A quick rip is always better than that slow hair pulling agony isn't it?

Pat didn't think so, as about 2 cm of her skin came off with the tape! Ouch.....

But I saw Pat grow. That was a joy. As she became comfortable with her journey.

And Pat has always been rather a 'glass half empty' type of person, whereas I tend to the other way.

Strangely her views and expectations of the world seemed to be relaxing as a consequence of our Camino.

I must have dozed off.....

My head fell forward and I awoke with a start as Giavanna came into the room.
She was the senior nurse on the ward. And like 95% of the hospital staff spoke next to no English. ..

But with the help of Google, we managed.

She told me the surgery had gone well and Pat would be discharged in 3 days and should be clear to fly home in a week.

So our stay in Verona was going to be a bit longer...

Without going into the details, Pat had complained of chest pain whilst walking around Verona.

Following a dash to the local emergency department and multiple tests, she was admitted for emergency surgery to remove her gall bladder.

A bit of a stressful time as you can imagine, plus all the difficulties of language.

Our local doctor in Bangkok was an Angel though, spending a couple of hours on the phone with Pat, putting her mind at ease and answering all her medical questions.

This all taking place Late at night while putting her daughter to bed!

Camino Angels don't just exist on the Camino!


OK, so why is this relevant to our Camino?

Well, instead of all the normal stress and 'why me' and 'why here'.....Pat was very Philosophical about it all.....

"We're really lucky" she remarked.

"This didn't happen in some remote area of the Camino. It's happened at the end of our trip. And we'll still be able to catch our booked flights home"

"It happened in Verona that has a huge modern Hospital"

"And.....because it happened in Italy, that has a reciprocal health agreement with Australia, it didn't cost us a cent"! (Note. We did have travel insurance).

Wow. That was certainly a mind set change!


Fast forward 10 days.

We were on our way home. We live in Sydney but spend part of the year in Bangkok. Pat's family live there and I do some guest lecturing at a local university.

So we had planned a week in Bangkok on our way home. This of course would give Pat time to recover more en route and also to drop in and see our 'local' doctor for a post surgery check up.

Our new friend Doctor 'Kal' works at a large local hospital near the family home.

So we booked to see her to have Pat's stitches removed and also to get advice on post surgery care and diet.

We decided to take Pat's Father with us.

A few months ago he had heart surgery. In fact whilst I was walking the Camino last year!

He was feeling a bit tired and had a bit of chest pain. So we took him along to to see Dr Kal.


Long story short......


He was admitted on the spot!


I'm sitting with Pat and her family now. Dad has just been taken down to surgery to have a pacemaker fitted.

Yep. It's been one of those trips.....

Pat has been great. "Wow isn't it lucky we took him along for a check"!

(Whilst in ICU his breathing had stopped a few times)

Her family can't afford the surgery, so we were rearranging our finances to cover the costs. Another dip into the mortgage......


Unfortunately the hospital is private. ...and not cheap. So we also discussed having Dad moved to a government hospital.

But they can be a bit hit and miss here.

And It's Pat's Dad after all...... And this hospital is close to home..... and the staff know the family well....

The hospital is obliged to handle a certain number of social security patients but sadly their quota was filled years ago.

So the family needs to attend a much more distant hospital to access government funded Healthcare. ..

No. We would just have to cover the cost. ....


Then yesterday the surgeon told us the surgery would be covered by government funding!

It seems the surgeon, Dr Kal, and two other doctors who know the family put up a case, saying Dad was too ill to be moved to a government hospital. ...

Angels had stepped in again......


It's funny you know. Pat is rather like me. Not deeply religious in a traditional sense. But spiritual.

Certainly a believer.

And like me, all along the Camino she visited churches and offered up prayers of thanks for being there.

She now wears a beautiful silver crucifix we found in Santiago....

Not bad for someone brought up in a Buddhist culture. ....

A few times in recent days she has remarked. ...."someone up there is looking after us"....


I think you're right Pat. Someone is.


I also think walking the Camino helps change our view of the world and our circumstances.

As I remarked recently in a thread....

If you look for good in all things....you find good.... If you look for problems. .....you'll find plenty.


So.......

Walking alone or with a partner?

They're both good

LOVE THE STORY... what a blessing to you and your family. Thanks you for sharing.

 

[JennyH94]

Hi Robo - what an exceptional post! Thank you for sharing. It's wonderful to hear that all is well.

Best regards to you and Pat -

Cheers - Jenny

 

[whateverls15]

You guys are still good, that's the best news, but rather than digging the situation, you should find other way to communicate to her

 

[Robo]

You guys are still good, that's the best news, but rather than digging the situation, you should find other way to communicate to her

Sorry.....I'm not sure I understand your point....we communicate very well with each other and she enjoyed reading the draft of this story before I published it

I would not have published it without her approval

 

[susanawee]

An extremely moving story Rob and one which, I have read and enjoyed on very many levels. I pray that Pat's father recovers his health and also pray that Pat heals and, gets to walk another Camino. I wonder also, Will you Walk another one Alone or will you choose to walk with Pat......much to ponder. Camino Hugs.

 

[Robo]

An extremely moving story Rob and one which, I have read and enjoyed on very many levels. I pray that Pat's father recovers his health and also pray that Pat heals and, gets to walk another Camino. I wonder also, Will you Walk another one Alone or will you choose to walk with Pat......much to ponder. Camino Hugs.

Pat and dad are well. Thanks.

Future Camino? Probably one of each

 

[CathyJ]

Wow a touching story, thank you for sharing. My first Camino (leaving from Australia) starts in two weeks (alone!) and I'm getting anxious. Tonight I was pondering travel insurance, Aus$100 or $400 option depending if pre existing illnesses are included. Think you've reminded me you can't put a price on health and to perhaps go the latter option. Hope everyone is on the mend soon.

Jenn, don't hesitate on the insurance front. I returned one week ago on a very comfortable upgraded Business Class flight through travel insurance. I hurt my foot just before O'Cebriero and continued to walk to Santiago (in a fair bit of pain) before finding out I had fractured my foot. On returning to Aust and after further investigation I find I have not one but two fractured bones. The return flight would have been awful in economy as I returned with plaster from toes to knee and needed to keep it elevated. No-one plans for these events but just sometimes - they happen!
Have a wonderful Camino, it was ten times what I hoped for and I loved every step, even the painful ones

 

[Peter Fransiscus]

I was mulling over this question as I ducked out of the little bed and breakfast early.

Today was going to be a 'big' day and I hadn't slept well.

I needed a strong coffee from the cafe nearby.....

The coffee was just what I needed and I grabbed another one to take with me.

When I got to the room Pat was still asleep. I sat quietly by the bed and took in the scene.

You must have done it too? Watched your partner sleeping....

Her jet black curls and olive skin were a stark contrast with the pristine white sheets and pillow. She seemed deep asleep. Maybe dreaming ?

Don't worry, it's not going to be 'that' type of story.....

I settled back with my coffee and pondered that question again..... walking alone versus walking with a partner.

I'd have time to think it through. She wouldn't wake for another hour or two.

You see, last year I had the luxury of walking a Camino alone. From St Jean to Santiago. A slow journey of 40 days.

And one of the questions I pondered last year was the sense of selfishness that I felt. Taking 40 days out. All for me. Whilst others were left to 'mind the store'.

But it was a fantastic experience. I loved it. I was totally unplugged from my work and everyday life, other than a brief online call with my wife Pat each day.

Her father was sick you see, and I guess that added to my feelings of guilt a bit. So I tried at least to give moral support on the phone each day.

Even though I felt I should be at home, Pat kept insisting that I complete my Camino 'for both of us'.

And to be honest, I loved the time alone. To reflect and ponder and just enjoy the journey. It was amazing. I won't go into it all now though. I even made a mini movie to share the experience! (Link Here) http://robscamino.com/robs-journey/


So.....This year I was walking with Pat. ....

A shorter Camino. Just from Sarria. Pat wanted a 'taste' of the Camino without committing to 800 kms!

Now Pat, well she's a city girl. Not used to the outdoors at all. Even the thought of having to pee in the woods was putting her off a bit.

But she wanted to give it a try.


We finished two weeks ago. ......

And we were now in Verona in Northern Italy. Part of the 'deal' was, that after our Camino we'd travel in Europe for a couple of weeks.

And in true Camino spirit we walked as much as we could and only booked a couple of days ahead. We used trains a lot, which proved to be a great was to see the landscapes.

We must have pounded the streets for 15 km or more every day in Paris, Prague, Vienna, Munich, and now we were in Verona.

Next we planned to go back through France to London and then fly home to Sydney via Bangkok.

It had been a great trip so far. With our Camino as the highlight of course.

And Pat was already open to the idea of walking another one. Maybe longer.

And this kept bringing me back to that question!

The 'elephant in the room'.....

Was it better alone, or walking with Pat? A very selfish question I know. But one worth thinking through....


OK. Both were good, but very different. Very!

In terms of the emotional and spiritual journey, alone won 'hands down'. Having your partner with you 24 hours a day was not really a full break from Normal life. How could it be?

Sure it was lonely at times walking alone, but the solitude brought with it deep reflection and almost total isolation from the 'normal' day to day.

This really enhanced the emotional and spiritual elements of the journey. For me at least...

But walking with Pat was great too. OK, I felt a bit like a tour guide. I tend to go over the top making sure that she is comfortable. I'd expected it to be a struggle for her and had already made up my mind that this was to be 'her' Camino.

So I had planned our stages as a very slow build up. She wasn't able to train you see, due to suffering from Plantar Faciitis. Though Cortesone injections a week before departure seemed to help a lot.

But I was surprised and very proud of the way she handled it.

The slow build up worked really well, and we managed the plantar pain with prescribed meds.

Her concerns about the local food, our lodgings and being able to walk the distance all fell away.

She actually found 100 kms was too short! As she was just getting into the 'zone' in the last day or two.

So whilst from my view the Camino was not really the same as last year from an emotional and spiritual perspective, I still gained and learnt a huge amount.

Such as; the walk from Sarria to Santiago is certainly worth doing in its own right! It's not just the 'final straight' into Santiago.....

That walking with a partner is a very different experience. Everything needs to be much more considered. Discussed. Agreed. Where to stay, where to eat, when to take a break.

And walking with a partner is kind of bringing 'home' with you.....

It also tended to isolate us more I think. There wasn't the same 'urge' or 'need' to connect with other pilgrims.

But I think our relationship certainly grew stronger....


Though at times it was also tested!

Like the time I taped Pat's shins and removed the tape as I do on my own legs. By ripping it off!

A quick rip is always better than that slow hair pulling agony isn't it?

Pat didn't think so, as about 2 cm of her skin came off with the tape! Ouch.....

But I saw Pat grow. That was a joy. As she became comfortable with her journey.

And Pat has always been rather a 'glass half empty' type of person, whereas I tend to the other way.

Strangely her views and expectations of the world seemed to be relaxing as a consequence of our Camino.

I must have dozed off.....

My head fell forward and I awoke with a start as Giavanna came into the room.
She was the senior nurse on the ward. And like 95% of the hospital staff spoke next to no English. ..

But with the help of Google, we managed.

She told me the surgery had gone well and Pat would be discharged in 3 days and should be clear to fly home in a week.

So our stay in Verona was going to be a bit longer...

Without going into the details, Pat had complained of chest pain whilst walking around Verona.

Following a dash to the local emergency department and multiple tests, she was admitted for emergency surgery to remove her gall bladder.

A bit of a stressful time as you can imagine, plus all the difficulties of language.

Our local doctor in Bangkok was an Angel though, spending a couple of hours on the phone with Pat, putting her mind at ease and answering all her medical questions.

This all taking place Late at night while putting her daughter to bed!

Camino Angels don't just exist on the Camino!


OK, so why is this relevant to our Camino?

Well, instead of all the normal stress and 'why me' and 'why here'.....Pat was very Philosophical about it all.....

"We're really lucky" she remarked.

"This didn't happen in some remote area of the Camino. It's happened at the end of our trip. And we'll still be able to catch our booked flights home"

"It happened in Verona that has a huge modern Hospital"

"And.....because it happened in Italy, that has a reciprocal health agreement with Australia, it didn't cost us a cent"! (Note. We did have travel insurance).

Wow. That was certainly a mind set change!


Fast forward 10 days.

We were on our way home. We live in Sydney but spend part of the year in Bangkok. Pat's family live there and I do some guest lecturing at a local university.

So we had planned a week in Bangkok on our way home. This of course would now give Pat time to recover more en route and also to drop in and see our 'local' doctor for a post surgery check up.

Our new friend Doctor 'Kal' works at a large local hospital near the family home.

So we booked to see her to have Pat's stitches removed and also to get advice on post surgery care and diet.

We decided to take Pat's Father with us.

A few months ago he had heart surgery. In fact whilst I was walking the Camino last year!

He was feeling a bit tired and had a bit of chest pain. So we took him along to to see Dr Kal.


Long story short......


He was admitted on the spot!


I'm sitting with Pat and her family now. Dad has just been taken down to surgery to have a pacemaker fitted.

Yep. It's been one of those trips.....

Pat has been great. "Wow isn't it lucky we took him along for a check"!

(Whilst in ICU his breathing had stopped a few times)

Her family can't afford the surgery, so we were rearranging our finances to cover the costs. Another dip into the mortgage......


Unfortunately the hospital is private. ...and not cheap. So we also discussed having Dad moved to a government hospital.

But they can be a bit hit and miss here.

And It's Pat's Dad after all...... And this hospital is close to home..... and the staff know the family well....

The hospital is obliged to handle a certain number of social security patients but sadly their quota was filled years ago.

So the family needs to attend a much more distant hospital to access government funded Healthcare. ..

No. We would just have to cover the cost. ....


Then yesterday the surgeon told us the surgery would be covered by government funding!

It seems the surgeon, Dr Kal, and two other doctors who know the family put up a case, saying Dad was too ill to be moved to a government hospital. ...

Angels had stepped in again......


It's funny you know. Pat is rather like me. Not deeply religious in a traditional sense. But spiritual.

Certainly a believer.

And like me, all along the Camino she visited churches and offered up prayers of thanks for being there.

She now wears a beautiful silver crucifix we found in Santiago....

Not bad for someone brought up in a Buddhist culture. ....

A few times in recent days she has remarked. ...."someone up there is looking after us"....


I think you're right Pat. Someone is.


I also think walking the Camino helps change our view of the world and our circumstances.

As I remarked recently in a thread....

If you look for good in all things....you find good.... If you look for problems. .....you'll find plenty.


So.......

Walking alone or with a partner?

They're both good

Hi Robo, loved reading your story of your trip together.
Both ways are great, my wife walked the Camino Frances in 2013 from SJPDP to Santiago alone. She did that just a couple of weeks after her sister past away.
The journey was physical and mantely very heavy for her. It took her about 4 months to recover from it.
In 2014 we walked from Sarria to Finistere together. Walking together was for my wife different, now I meet more couples walking than last year she said.
Last year I walked the Camino Frances from SJPdP to Santiago alone to. I know now what she meant by walking alone.
It is so different walking without my wife for 37 day's.
When everything is going well ,we will walk from Porto to Santiago together this year.
p.s. It's my wife's doing that I 'm addicted to the Camino.
Wish you both well, Peter.

 

[Greg Petropoulos]

Robo:

An incredibly well thought out and insightful accounting of the intangible magic of the Camino. It sounds like both Pat and your father-in-law are recovering well.

Having walked the Camino Frances alone in 2014, I was often asked where my wife was. I typically joked that she was working to finance my journey. The beginning of your story hit home with me, with all the conflicted thoughts and emotions around the solo vs. having her join me.

This fall I'm off for another solo Camino adventure (Mozarabe/Vdlp/Sanabres), doing it solo. It could not be possible, or concievable without the blessing and support of my wife, who isn't the slightest bit interested in hiking Caminos. But, bless her heart, knows it makes me feel alive like few things can in my mid-60's.

Buen Camino Robo!