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Walking the Camino as a shy person

E

emmarosegardner

New Member
Time of past OR future Camino
May 2025
Has anyone walked the Camino while "shy" or introverted?

I (26 f, USA) am walking the Camino Frances in May 2025 mostly excited but also a bit nervous about the social aspect of the journey. I really want to meet and walk with new people during my time on the Camino, but I don't feel confident in my people skills/knowing how and when to approach people I meet. I worry that I will wait for others to approach me and will miss out on meeting cool people as a result.

I wouldn't describe myself as an introvert - more "shy," in that I love being around people once I am comfortable with them, but don't feel like I'm good at meeting new people or initiating interactions with strangers. I feel I lost a lot of my 'instincts' for approaching and meeting new people when I started working from home during COVID. I also have lost a lot of my self-confidence due to gaining ~50 lbs over the past few years due to a pelvic fracture, and find that strangers often treat me differently/poorly now that I am on the heavier side. Additionally, I have had a handful of bad experiences with dishonest people who I thought were friends, but actually turned out that they didn't like me (they just felt bad and were people-pleasing, I guess?) I am genuinely garbage at small talk and feel like I have a really hard time gauging whether new people I meet like me/are genuinely interested in getting to know me or not. I am very smart and that can be somewhat off-putting to some people, which I understand.

There are many reasons I'm doing this walk, but mainly I am hoping to a) spend some dedicated time to nurture my body and work towards my body feeling better, b) reconnect with my self-confidence (the two are not related - I want to love myself regardless of what my body looks like), and c) meet some cool people along the way.

Can anyone speak to their experiences of meeting new people on the Camino? If any of this resonates with you, I'd really love to hear your perspective, experiences, and any advice you might be able to offer. And if anybody knows what I can do to put off a "please, approach me!" energy so that I don't have to worry about initiating, please let me know!

Cheers!

Emma
 
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Emma
You sound like someone I would love to meet on the camino!
In my experience most people will respond positively to a smile, a "hola" , or a helping hand with something. On the camino people enjoy meeting strangers. Simply introducing yourself may be enough to start a great conversation. You will make camino friends. As you walk you will gain confidence.
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@emmarosegardner, do you have your first few nights booked? Some albergues those first nights have a communal dinner where everyone introduces themselves. You'll probably see a lot of these same people a lot on your Camino so it is a good way to "break the ice".

Both Borda and Orrison have a communal dinner. In St Jean, I can recommend Bellari. Make reservations in advance as these are popular places. Best wishes!
 
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I can only second what @James van Hemert writes. You will be fine.
 
I have to agree with joining the albergue communal meals. I did this all along the Frances. It's a great way to meet people. Also at the albergue if I see a group of people visiting in a common area I'll ask to join them. I'm never refused. Walking by myself is my preference.
I've walked the Frances solo twice.
 
Hi, I’m Emma from fill in the blank, where are you from? Where’d you start? Further on, add when did you start? or when do you think you’ll arrive in Santiago? On the CF, you just broke the ice. Especially on the CF, most people are eager to talk and meet new people. The other nice thing about the Camino, most people respect the need space. If you need some space, slow down or re-tie your boots.

Emma from wherever, I’m Keith from Texas, I think you’ll do fine.
 
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I do so love an honest post, how brave you are, to be so open - good for you! - Emma, I think you will find that many pilgrims have similar feelings to you. To add to that tension (anxiety?) starting Camino is very much the same feeling as the first day at a new school - but you will be surprised at how soon you understand how it all works and how quickly you relax into daily life.

A point - on Camino no one knows who you are, your history, background, even where you are from .. you are - for once in your life - free of all that, as are they .. so we all meet each other that way ... which is quite marvellous if you think about it.
As for being temporarily heavy now - plenty of heavy pilgrims out there - and it isn't a race.

Smile of course ... even a shy person can smile at others - the smile that is returned will feed you
Agree re communal meals - absolutely, join in to all of them!! High point of Camino!!
When entering an evening bar/cafe for the pilgrim meal look to see if there is a table full of cheerful pilgrims and (yes, I know it is hard at first!) and if there is a spare chair then take a deep breath and ask if you can join them .. in 18 years I have not once been turned away and have met countless lovely humans.
Lastly - offer to help ... someone putting on or taking off a heavy pack? Putting a plaster on their feet? Hanging washing? Sitting on a rock on Camino looking unhappy?

The last Buddha is quoted as saying "Strive for personal happiness, result misery. Strive for happiness in others, result happiness."
So when we self focus those anxieties can increase, but when we 'others' focus we forget them.

All in all - I hope that you have a Wonderful Camino xx
 
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El Palo Avellano in Zubiri also has a popular communal dinner.
 
David said:
When entering an evening bar/cafe for the pilgrim meal look to see if there is a table full of cheerful pilgrims and (yes, I know it is hard at first!) and ask if you can join them
Click to expand...
Or ask another solo pilgrim if they would like company. They could also be a shy person who would like to connect. But don't take it personally if they say no, some people are one the Camino precisely to be alone - that's the hard part of approaching someone, but with practice it gets easier.
 
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I do not want to be too negative about the concept of communal meals but they can be sometimes tiring and intimidating. Something to take into consideration.
As an introvert I cringe at the idea of those meals where you have to introduce yourself.

My advise to the OP : be true to yourself, follow your gut instinct like you would do at home.
I always preferred the contacts and meetings with one other person / pilgrim.
 
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