This unburdening thing reminds me of something that happened the week before last while I was at Santiago following my Camino. A day or two after I arrived, I was outside San Martin Pinario one morning when I encountered a woman pilgrim entering the city, headed for Obradoiro Square. I am going to call her Donna for the sake of this story.
There was something about the way Donna was using her hiking poles and the way she was walking uncertainly that compelled me to ask her if she needed any assistance. Donna burst into tears, said "Oh God yes, please!" and nearly collapsed right there. I grabbed her arm to steady her.
Ascertaining that she had walked solo from St Jean Pied de Port (and clearly had "the look"), had chronic medical issues and serious blisters, I offered to help her. My first question was "where were you heading when I came upon you?" Her answer was simple; "...to make this all end, to be over, to stop the pain!" Donna could barely stand let alone walk further. If you've walked from St. Jean and gotten serious blisters, perhaps you can understand the anguish.
I said okay, how about I accompany you to the Pilgrim Office and get your Compostela sorted, etc. and we can proceed from there? So, I shouldered her rucksack and helped her hobble the remaining several hundred meters to get there. Her condition was such that passing folks were turning to look.
Along the way, Donna told me she was walking this for herself as she has a serious chronic medical condition and was on chemo therapy, but also for the soul of a good friend of hers who recently passed away from cancer and whose funeral was the next day, but a continent away. Donna was very upset and more so because she could not attend the funeral of her best friend.
When we first arrived, I asked Donna if she would mind sitting in the chapel adjacent to the Pilgrim Office while I went inside and arranged matters to try to help her. I helped her sit in a pew. I then gave her a package of tissues and told her to have a good cry and get it all out. I have unburdened myself in just that manner. It helps, it really does.
My consolation to Donna was to tell her that she was in the best place possible to get this out, to pray for the repose of her good friend and anyone else she had a mind to pray for. Donna blurted out: "But, I am not Catholic! My retort was "I don't care! He listens to everyone, and you are in direct contact - NOW!" I urged Donna to just sit, think, pray, meditate whatever, and that I would return shortly. The Pilgrim Office chapel is great for this sort of thing.
Because of my affiliation as a repeat volunteer with the Pilgrim Office, I was able to arrange to bring Donna into the office quietly and put her in a back office. I asked one of my colleagues if she could take care of Donna's need for a Compostela. When the staff heard her story they readily agreed to help.
I brought Donna into the back office as quietly as I could so as to not frustrate others who were waiting on line. Her condition would never have permitted her to wait on the line.
As Donna's Compostela was being written up, I interjected that it was possible to have it dedicated to a deceased person if she wished. She lost it right there, wracked with sobs, Donna asked us to make the Compostela Vicare Pro her recently deceased friend. Result!
There is more to the story, but suffice it to say that the point at which you unburden yourself is individual and personal. If I helped Donna achieve some comfort or closure regarding her life threatening medical condition, or the passing of her good friend, then all is good.
I hope this little story helps understand the thread better. There is more to it, but I DO tend to be long winded... Y'all will just have to wait for my book...