Two month to go jitters

[meisterbalogna]

Oh man oh man oh man... two months to the day until I start walking my very first Camino and actually going on my very first trip alone in my entire life.

I just got some last bits of equipment in the mail today and tehn it suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks, "Exactly two months from now I will be standing in Saint Jean about to take my first steps towards Santiago... HOLY $#!&". I've been excited for months (in fact years) but now my heart is fluttering fast, my head is spinning and my feet are cold. For the first time I've thought 'can I really do this? am I crazy? can my body handle this? Do I have everything I need? Do I have too much? Have I been saving enough money? Will my Company be ok without me? Will it be even better without me? Will I be different when I come back? Do I want to be different?'

I'm just a bit freaked out. Has anyone else had this experience while preparing for your first journey into the great unknown?

Nervous,
Joan

 

[CaminoGen]

Yep, that's how you feel when you're about to embark on your first Camino. While the Camino was not my first trip abroad on my own, it was still very scary. Since it was winter here, I was scare of falling on ice and breaking something and I couldn't really train as hard as I did in the summer and fall.

However, when I took my first step out of SJPdP, all doubts disappeared and I knew I would finish this thing.

Enjoy your Camino, it's a life changing experience if you let it change you.

 

[methodist.pilgrim.98]

It is 02.17 local time. I have at 3.30 to wake my friend Norman so that I can set out on my 9th plgrimage, Norman's 2nd, and I can't sleep! We have an early morning plane to catch to evetually get us to Bilbao.

You do not stop getting the jitters just because you've completed you're first Camino; it hits you every time.

Just enjoy it. The only other bit of advice I would give is that you should now be walking increasing distances with your rucksack on your back to build up your stanima and get your feet used to the unaccustomed weight.

The jitters will probably get bigger and worse, but don't worry, all is well (to steal one of David's phrases).

 

[Stephen Nicholls]

Hi Joan! Sounds to me like you're absolutely normal!
"can I really do this?" Absolutely.
"am I crazy?" well, sometimes I think we're all a little bit crazy, but there's nothing wrong with that.
"can my body handle this?" Yes! Depending on how much training you've given yourself, just take it easy, and start slowly. The camino is NOT a race.
"Do I have everything I need?" Maybe not - it doesn't matter! There are plenty of shops in the towns, and other peregrinas from whom to seek advice.
"Do I have too much?" Probably! Last year I took a cape, a small umbrella and waterproof shoes.....and had not one day of rain [in April]. This year I'll take the same!
"Will I be different when I come back?" Undoubtedly. Very few pilgrims are exactly the same after the experience. For some of us the effect of the Camino is profound. For me the wonder of the camino was not the cathedral in Santiago, but the fellow pilgrims I met. I was so moved by the experience that I'm doing my second Camino [Via de la Plata] starting April 30th. I'm getting very excited, and even finding it difficult sometimes to sleep at night. So, as I have already said - it sounds to me like you're absolutely normal!
Buen Camino, Joan!
Stephen

 

[lindamac]

Joan, I headed off in 2010 for my first Camino, first trip OS, on my own. It was awesome, amazing, inspiring, and now when I am fearful of something new, I remind myself of that journey and away I go! You will come back changed, and in the very best way possible! The Camino will look after everything, all you need to do is step out in faith that your journey has brought you there, if I could be anywhere again in my life, it would be back walking the Way, have a great time! Buen Camino.

 

[Deleted member 3000]

After the jitters, you will be walking. There will come times when the same thoughts hit you, but without the jitters. At that point it might help to remember that you only have to take one step; after that step, it is OK to quit; you DO NOT have to reach the town you planned before you left; it is OK to rest; the entire enterprise is optional, so you are doing it for the fulfillment; and "I decide what is success and failure, not someone else."

When you feel overwhelmed, remember to take baby steps. Keep your objective short. Have fun!

 

[amercado]

Joan- You are not the only one. I feel exactly like you do, have the same anxities you feel. I am starting at SJPP on April 20. I have been dreaming about the journey every night since I started planning the trip in January. I have attended pilgrim's gatherings in Williamsburg, VA and monitoring the daily forum to absorb all the info. It is exciting and has become a passion. I have booked my airline tickets and just anxiously waiting for the day to come. But I am worried that I may get injured during my training or fall ill, or anything bad that could happen. Only the Lord knows. Buen camino.

 

[bromeliad]

Joan,

I am also a female, I have traveled alone all my life, this is my second Camino, and yes: I'm nervous and scared to death.

I saw a Camino documentary on YouTube where a priests says that what we really carry with us in our Camino is our fears. In fact, I realized that the bigger your backpack, the more fearful you are. Of getting sick, of not feeling comfortable enough, of feeling cold, of getting wet, of getting blisters, of getting forgotten by those back home, of developing tendinitis, of twisting an ankle, of not finishing the Camino, of failure, of getting bored, of going hungry, of not being able to sleep at night, of becoming a different person...

This priest also says that the Camino is a metaphor for life. Because life is a journey. You repeat in the Camino a condensed version of how you live your life, so how you live your life becomes more clear to you.

I used to be a pretty fearless person, to the point of recklessness. Until I saw both my parent pass away a couple of years ago. Then I became afraid of everything - ultimately, of death, something I had never faced of thought about before.

Things started to change when I decided to do the Camino again a few months ago and booked my tickets. As the day approaches (45 days to go!), I get more anxious and jumpy. Particularly because I DID get very sick in my 1st Camino. I caught a virus in Majarín and had to stop in Ponferrada and return home.

But now every step I take in preparation for the Camino, in my 10 - 15km daily walk in the heat of one of Rio de Janeiro's hottest summers ever, the stronger I feel and the more confident I get that everything will be alright. Yes, I'm jittery, but I am also happier by the day, because conquering our fears is simply exhilarating.

Buen Camino!

 

[meisterbalogna]

Thank you all so much! I think some of my nervousness has subsided a bit. That two month to go mark really through me into a panic attack! This journey for me has been such a long time coming that I mostly can't believe it's really happening. I'm not sure what I'll find along the way but I'll accept whatever it is and keep on walking. Thank you again and I hope to see some of you along the way!

Joan

 

[jodever]

Love the picture....it tells the story...excitement,fear, fun,anticipation...and all the rest of the feelings! Brings back memories of October last year...it's all of those feelings and more.and afterwards it's satisfying, confusing, complete...but full of questions....and memories. Love it!

 

[meisterbalogna]

Today is the one month to go mark! I'm definitely still very nervous but have gotten over most of it. I have no idea what will happen while I'm there and I have no idea what will happen here while I'm gone but I can't let any of that dictate my trip. I'm thrilled, I'm nervous, I'm excited but above all I'm hopeful.

I've put everything together that I'll be taking with me and I've been training as much as possible so I feel ready. Ahhhh! Still freaking!



Thanks for all of the support on here. It's amazing how willing former Pilgrims are to provide support for new comers. It's fantastic and has gotten me through to this point. Thank you thank you.

 

[sweetlee213]

Joan, as you probably already know you are not alone! I am doing my very first Camino at the end of June starting from SJPP. I have being going through the same feelings! Excitement, panic, excitement again! Mostly I'm nervous because I haven't started training yet. That will start this week. Hopefully I will get myself ready for the journey ahead. Also, PROPS to you for having this be your first journey out of the country alone! I wish I'd known about this pilgrimage a long time ago!

Buen Camino!!

Laura-Lee

 

[meisterbalogna]

I just finished! I walked into Santiago on June 6th as planned and then walked (most of the way, took a cab from Negreira to Hospital) to Finisterre and the end of the world.

I could not be happier, more sore or more full of love for everything and everyone. ESpecially those of you on this site who helped me get there. Thank you!

Joanie