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Top Five Things I Hate About (returning from) the Camino…

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simply B

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...or maybe it has just been one of those months.

So, here I am back home for six months from walking my second Camino. The “post-Camino Blues” are even worse this time.

It makes me wonder…

Am I addicted to: Scrambling to get my laundry done every afternoon? “Desayuno” translating to “homeopathic suggestion of nutrition”? Changing (or trying to) languages on most encounters? Sharing sleeping quarters with Olympic-contending snorers? The monotony of Menus Peregrino?

Nah… I think it is simpler than that - - here is what I think it is about… but I am open to other’s views.

I think it stems from leaving behind:

1) A world of “Needs” and returning to one of “Wants”.

2) A world of affirmation and returning to one of opposition.

3) Immersion in “Nature” and returning to “Manufactured Reality”.

4) Mindful awareness of relentless serendipity and returning to the “daily plan”.

5) Constant sense of gratitude for “what is” and returning to where anxiety about “lack of money/stuff” dominates.

The homily’s message at the Pilgrim Mass has it right – “Now that you are done walking, the really hard work of “taking the Camino home” begins.”

I think the Camino should have a warning label.

B

PS. No need to tell me to start planning the next one....way ahead of ya!
 
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Yes I struggle the same way you do!...I just want to run/walk away all the time!
Life is hard right now...
I finished my camino a year ago, and all I want to do is take off and walk away again. Buuuut, this doesn't seem wise, so I don't.

For me, it's pretty simple.
All I had to do when on Camino was walk. Get up, walk, eat, walk, sleep, walk. Walking was the goal. Covering distance. And that was doable. That was amazing and fun. Now everything's much harder. Now it's get up, drive, work, finish work, wander, wonder why I'm doing what I'm doing, but leaving would be worse. Now it's what will I do if...if I can't overcome this problem, if a family member does not recover stability of mind, if this is the wrong relationship for me, if this work is what I should be doing, if finances don't stretch far enough. Now it's the question, constantly: am I stuck, or am I being responsible? Should I continue living for others, working for community and family, or step off into self-indulgent dreams?

I so much prefer the one foot in front of the other simplicity, but I suppose this is what life is asking; to be lived. The camino was a vacation from life in so many ways. It taught me something about life, but it unfortunately doesn't seem like that can be a Way of life, at least for me. For some it may be a way of life...it's different for all of us.

Good luck to you, who are in the midst of post-Camino blues. I soooo understand and know where you are. I'm still there with you! I think the Camino makes the day to day struggles back home feel starker, more intense, more anguishing and immediate. And yes, that should come with a warning label!

But also, we are more alive to it all, for having done the Camino, yes?
 
After my Camino I felt somewhat disconnected from my home environ. I was both enthused about this experience I had gone through (although frustratingly, I was not able to communicate much of it to others) and also very slowed down, as though my pulse had slowed and my perception of time lengthened. With time, some of this disconnection faded, and I got back to a faster paced city living. The memories are still there though, and several times a day some aspect of my journey comes back to me one year later. I still try to savor the moment and enjoy the unexpected, habits from my walk.
 
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Hate is a very strong emotion and well, we do affect karma and karma really does influence and effect us: In the good old bad days I would use these difficult days to prepare a photo album of my Camino, today pushing buttons on the keyboard for Picasa is not really the same. I would also make great lists of all the wonderful places I had seen, visited, experienced, then make another of all those missed! Next time is the best solution, do it all over again? A different Camino? Back out and start much further away in France? Recapture your enthusiasm and exploit it positively or Karma will surely catch you.
 
1. I miss my Camino friends!
2. I miss the beautiful people of Spain, and hearing the word, "Claro", a hundred times a day.
3. I miss the simplicity of walking and communicating with people from around the world.
4. I do NOT miss the blank stare I receive from people back home when I tell them I just walked 500 miles along the CdS.
 
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I also miss
My Camino friends. The endless conversations about everything or sometimes just a smile and a wave. Sitting back at my little cubicle doesn't quite cut it.
The 1 or 2 hour walk for my tortilla in the morning
Although people might think "wow" when they hear you walked 800k, it is so much more than walking and sometimes it's hard to express.

(I know that's not 5 but it's a start)
 

ah yes - the challenge of integrating something so subtle and profound into the life of the pre-camino 'you'....
was reminded of a quote by one of those Indian poet saints of centuries ago:
"To tell with no tongue what I have seen with no eyes."

what i read in your lines is the cherishing of the simplicity what life can (also) offer ...
which is easier to relate to on a camino - and a challenge when living in the setting of pre-camino circumstance.
but one can make space for that simplicity also back home -
it takes intention and mindfulness - but it is entirely possible and do-able.

and how nice that you can plan already the next pilgrimage ... enjoy --- y Buen Camino -
 
ah yes - the challenge of integrating something so subtle and profound into the life of the pre-camino 'you'....
was reminded of a quote by one of those Indian poet saints of centuries ago:
"To tell with no tongue what I have seen with no eyes."
Click to expand...

Perfect, @amorfati1!

Yes, it is perfectly possible to "make space for that simplicity also back home -
it takes intention and mindfulness".

What I was not prepared for is that most of the world (mine, at least) seems to resent one making that change.

And I think that "planning" the next Camino is a good tonic. I honestly don't see walking another one until I complete the major changes begun on the past Caminos. And, paradoxically, those changes may put any new Camino financially out of reach.

Thanks to everybody above for their thoughts! Your insights (and the shared experience) is heartening.

Only one thing to do now....

One foot after another, one moment at a time - - this time at home.

B
 
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Quite!
the "What I was not prepared for is that most of the world (mine, at least) seems to resent one making that change." is indeed lamentable - but usually that sort of resentment comes from people who live a rather fear-based life (for whatever reason) - and witnessing you having dared something and then further witnessing changes in you (being and action) calls into question their status quo (of course that mainly all happens rather unconsciously) and if you change - it requires a change of response from them.... and that's often when the resentment kicks in, in my observation.
for e.g. prior camino-like-experiences, one spent time with a certain friend/s or co-workers, etc who would complain, lament and complain some more about a certain situation. one offers a listening ear and other assistance and suggestions/help ... but to no avail. Said friend/s or co-worker is not really interested in changing their situation for the better and applying given advise/help ... but rather like to continue dumping their complains on you without taking responsibility for the situation.
now: having returned from camino-like-experiences, one might feel that such encounters is not the best use of ones time, energy and attention and rather goes out on a hike/walk or spends time alone or whatever the case might be. -
Your change within or without, challenges their behaviour patterns towards you ... and since most people really do not like to change (and only do when/if it's much too painful to continue w/ the status quo) they won't be exactly over the moon with now having to deal with a SimplyB who 'refuses' to go along with their comfortable set/modes of how they related to you.
It's classic. It's unpleasant. but there you have it. hope you'll find a new or wider circle of people of like-mind-heart-spirit who have a wider horizon and don't need to resent your changes or feel threatened by it.
you know what's precious and what has touched you. no one has the power to wrestle that away from you .... (and even that is often resented).
OK - off me soap-box now. hope it made sense what i've was attempting to convey . wishing you a continued relishing of camino experiences ...
i surely feel connected to and with it each single day. it has become a treasure indeed. and it continues to bestow blessings ...
 
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Great posts above. I too came back just not worrying about the mundane things so much, yet daily having to deal with family who worry and complain and stress about all sorts of things. My hopeful solution is to take them back with me next time and hope they can experience all that we have felt, too. Unfortunately I can't see it happening for at least a couple of years, but I'm trying not to worry about it (too much at least)! And many thanks to this forum for helping to keep my mind more where I want it to be.
 
simply B said:
Crystal clear explanation to me, @amorfati1! And, your description felt almost autobiographical.

Thank you!

B
Click to expand...
Great- glad to hear. thanks for letting me know.
and... autobiographical perhaps from much earlier decades - but now it's mainly what i have observed with clients/friends/co-workers.
it's probably an advantage of living in the california bay-area where people are quite supportive and tolerant of all sorts of life-style-approaches. nobody gave me any grief about the camino&consequences effect.
the biggest "astounded-look" i get simply about the fact that i do take off to europe for longer than 10 days. "you are gone for HOW LONG???" - that usually busts the comprehension-bubble every time in no time
(here it would be perfectly acceptable for me to declare that for e.g. i would do a bare-foot sprint on stilts across the gobi-desert or take a bone-carving-class in Borneo, as long as it won't take longer than 10 days absence from the job.)
cheers and best wishes!
 
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alexwalker said:
Very good post, @amorfati1!

Your first Camino gave you a lot of wisdom, yes? It did to me, too...
Click to expand...

Thank you -- and - Hmmm ... dunno about that wisdom bit, but lets just say that after my 40th sicilian birthday, i turned magically less foolish
are you planning further caminos? very best wishes to the northern spheres...!
 
amorfati1 said:
are you planning further caminos? very best wishes to the northern spheres...!
Click to expand...
Thank you! Well, I need to finish my 2nd CF next spring: Had to break in Astorga this spring due to sickness.

As for further caminos: Why do you think I am a boring hangaround in here? I find my life is divided in two stages after 2009: The planning stage and the walking stage... But it's OK: I am retired with a nice pension...

Edit: Your question reminded me to update my profile...
 
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That's great that you can continue next year with a camino - the 'Vorfreude' (pre-joy/anticipation) could help you to coast through the nordic winter with ease, no?
Happy trails - wherever you walk! cheers, claudia
 
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amorfati1 said:
the 'Vorfreude' (pre-joy/anticipation) could help you to coast through the nordic winter with ease, no?
Click to expand...
No prob- Winter is a great time with Northern Lights etc: I am parttime skippering a tourist boat for that. Only problem is 2 months without sun & light: Have to be careful when inviting women home to stay overnight: I risk having them in the house for 2 months...
 
now, THAT made me laugh! thanks for the comic relief!
 

Sorry you are struggling. So did I. So do most. For 2, 4 6, 12 weeks, we live with no responsabilities, in a frame of mind and heart that brings us back to our careless youth but with an adult's perspective who knows this is precious.

The truth is, when you get down to the nitty gritty, if that the Camino is not reality. Unless you want to join monastery - and even they will ask you to work and contribute. I call it "summer camp for adults with a side of spirituality".

The truth is that you most likely come from a society that is rich. That allows you to grow old, to have many children who do not go without. Where you can take of your parents and enjoy a bit of entertainement and food. All these things also make our lives rich.

The truth is that on the Camino you are "doing well", catering to your needs because of people's generosity (algergues for ex.), that you can eat poorly (bread, chorizo and perhaps a tomato) because it's only short term. Also because you walked in summer, not when heating was necessary - therefore money to heat the albergue.

This doesn't mean you can not keep parts of it with you in your daily life. Did you learn to listen to others? Did you learn to be more perseverant? Did you learn you do not need a granit counter top and stainless steel appliance to be happy as HGTV shows you?

All this is worthy, and should be cherrished. Just as you walked a step at a time, incorporate a teaching at a time, in your context, in your reality, in the one of those you love and love you.

I have now been on 4 Camino outings. The first one felt like magic. Mystical. The second, in its way, but more connected to my daily life back home. The third ... was cold and rainy. Broke the spell big time! ;0) Met noone that had me see " a light". Same for the 4th. I think the more you go out there the more you learn about yourself, the less mystical it all feels, and yet it still calls you back.

So don't go back for more. Go back for different. From each you will learn. Some of what you feel now may fade, something thing else may creep up.

The Camino is never easy!
 
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Anemone del Camino said:
So don't go back for more. Go back for different.
Click to expand...

I like that. My third phase of the Camino (did it in three pieces) was different. Not better or worse. Different. But it was still the Camino.

Applying the Camino learnings (all three stages) is so hard.
 

Simply B:

I see my time back at home a little differently and I might suggest taking a little more glass have full view. No criticism intended.

The Camino allows me to think clearly with minimal distractions and thereby:

1) See more clearly the difference between needs and wants.
2) The ability to address challenges (opposition) in my work and home life better.
3) The ability to find some of the hidden nature at home that I missed due to daily distractions.
4) The ability to find serendipity and make space for it in the daily plan.
5) Gratitude for all the things I have and less need for wants and other unnecessary perceived needs.

The Camino is a gift that keeps giving to me. A journey to focus on what is important and how to take that back into my normal life. If only one or two things each Camino.

I believe it has helped me become a better husband, father, grandfather, neighbor, friend and in general a better man. I have become more patient (a major feat for me) and grateful for all the things I have.

While looking forward each year to a new Camino, I work to stay focused (like a steep climb) on the daily challenges I have in my life. A more difficult task here than on a Camino.

Ultreya,
Joe
 
Well I am just back from my second (sort of) Camino. Last year I walked the Camino Norte and on returning home had all of the above feelings you have all mentioned. Having not stopped talking about it for a year my wife suddenly announced in August that it was time to go back and show her what I had experienced. By September we were on the road. This time with her and our two dogs but in our elderly motorhome (31 year old Mercedes). Not the same but it has settled many things I thought about. I met many new pilgrims, visited many sights I remembered. Enjoyed the pilgrim mass at Santiago and slept on the cliff at Finisterre to see the sunset. Now after 7 weeks I am home and ready to start planning another ' proper' camino.
 

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The Dr is IN: I find that open ended opportunities to display my brilliance are fulfilling in the extreme. By limiting, or expecting no more, or less than a given number of responses can either blunt creativity, or pressure one to the point of "making up" a response(s) to fit the template.
Additionally, Scruffy1 makes a good observation...in that "hate" is a powerful four-letter word. Sadly, one person's hate can be another's disappointment. Two different, but not necessarily opposites. There are other four-letter words that also garner their fair share of comment...I tend toward the "L" words: Like, Live and Love.
As to "...on my return":
1. First Camino, I planned, planned and then planned some more. All that planning went out the window when my hold baggage didn't arrive with me. When I got home... found that the Camino was an experience unlike previous long walks.
My selfashuridness was diminished. Humbled would be accurate.
2. My second (CP) a mix of high expectations and most pleasant interludes. I was in my element and savoring the experience. The Camino remained full center, but I was enjoying the melding of pilgrims in a more intimate way. I returned home buoyed and ready to return. My family finally "got it"!
3. The Camino Ingles was both more and less than I expected. Few pilgrims, yet more insight into how the Camino guides one along. Quite evenings in sparsely populated Albergues. A sense of disappointment that the few shared moments are more a facade than substance. Again, satisfied in the effort, left wanting in the result. Several years until my next Camino.
4. The Camino calls, stronger than ever. Planning moves a pace with little discernment, just frantic focus and commitment to walk the Way. I tell my daughter, I must go. She, unhesitatingly responds "Dad I know!"
Here's what I've realized: once I have committed to a Camino...my interaction among the Forum becomes both frantic and truly inspired. I check for new posts, posts with few comments, or no comments. I draw strength from each member who starts a thread, comments, or a newbie that dips their foot in the first time. The change comes when I return home. Initially, the need to connect is tempered. The desire to comment is subdued. And, most importantly, my capacity to empathize is stunted.
I feel drained, where I should be elated, or at least comforted.
Go softly into the night.
Arn
 
Thank you for expressing what I have been feeling since my camino in 2012. I share your sentiments and agree with others that it boils down to the need to simplify life. However, it is really tricky to do.... and I want to go on Camino again really soon, but I have to wait... I have even stopped looking at the posts on this site because they remind me of somewhere I can't be (yet). I got onto the site today and the first post I saw was this one. serendipity, sure. Thanks for giving me focus once more. I will now stop the whining.
 
For me, in contrast to some of the ideas posted already, the self of the Camino is the real self, whereas the self of home is the not-real self. None of this, "the Camino is a vacation from reality." Instead, it is an opportunity to spend time in retreat, with one's real self. A major component of this experience is getting away from the incessant noise of a commercial media-saturated modern America. Another component is the mutual accountability among the pilgrim band. This is very similar to the community context of Benedictine spirituality. That community is united in common purpose, and engaged in mutual support. So, at the end of a pilgrimage, I miss all those things. Not to mention the obvious: 8 hours of outdoor exercise daily.
 
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What a super forum debate!
I am so sorry that you seem to have the camino bug, Simply B ...but just be grateful it's not as bad as Ebola
From all these replies you will see you are not alone.
I walked my first camino in 2011.
I only ever intended to walk the one.
Now look at the list under my back-pack!
I know I shouldn't waste time thinking about the next camino - I seem to walk for about a month every year, and think, and plan, and hope for the other eleven.
I really miss Spain... the hills and mountains, the Spanish & Portuguese people too .... my "Camino family ..... the freedom.
I'm absolutely sure that my next camino will be the last ..... or maybe not?

Buen camino amigos!
 

Kitsambler, your post made me think twice about what I wrote, regarding 'the Camino not being real'. A few years ago I drove from Montreal to Wisconsin. By the time I got to Kalamazoo it was nightime. Neon adverts everywhere on the highway. And it dawned on me: this is what people refer to when they say consumerism has become the new religion. There was no way to escape adverts for restaurants, hotels, doggy insurance companies, what have you. I wanted to crawl under the seats of my car.

I do not live in such an obvious consumaristic society, but I do detect the signs of it when I see it creeping up: product placement, politicians comments and decisions. I find I am able to live in the way of the Camino more than I am not to, as long as I stick to simple lessons.

Also, I practice meditation, which teaches me to follow impulse, the monkey mind within. So I am able to find Camino moments in my daily practice. Which probably allows me to get away from the billboards and product placements.

But am I willing to give away my assets (not profiting from them), and my resposabilities to the elderly in my life just to live inexpesively on the Camino, or any other type of system? No. I have responsabilities, human ones - taking care of elderly and young people in my life, so that I cannot rightly leave them on their own to keep living in a world of illusionary volontary poorness (pauvreté volontaire as it is called in French.)
 
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I agree that we can find and be our "true selves" when on the Camino. We are blank slates to everyone and that gives us the opportunity to really look at ourselves and question what we see, and then act to be the person we wish to be. Of course that's what makes returning home so difficult. We then have to figure out the way to blend the true self we've discovered with the one that people around us are used to and expect. The easy approach is to just go back to being and doing things as before and pretending nothing has changed. The better way, though more difficult, is to work everyday to hold on to the lessons learned on the Camino. As Simply B said, we need to hold on to the gratitude for simple things, we need to be aware when we are seeing things in terms of want rather than need and we should do our best to get out and take advantage of the restorative powers in nature. Then bit by bit, day by day, we can become who we feel we should be, without it being too much of a shock to those around us.
 
Or the fact that I can't wait to do it again and again
 
I've enjoyed reading everyone's comments here, it makes me feel a little less alone in my post-camino blues. I've been home now for 2 weeks and am a roller coaster of emotions. Everyone wants to hear about my camino, but I find it very difficult to find the words to express properly, and no one really understands what I am saying anyway. I miss my camino family, I miss being outside every day, I miss not knowing who I will see or where I will end up that day, I miss strangers approaching me to ensure my safety or well being, I miss that feeling of being part of something much bigger than I ever knew was possible.
 
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Exactly. You are not alone! Al is right, all you can do is plan the next one
 
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The DR is IN:

Being on Camino is different from any other walk, hike, or long distant trek. It's but a sojourn between where you want to be and where you may be going.

Your friends...do they really know you? Or, do they just know the Bchikergirl you show them. If they have shared your life, it's been a series of usual events, with usual results that are just that...usual.

Usual to the point of being totally predictable and therefore comfortable and safe. No deviations, no monumental make overs...just usual.

By shaking off the usual, you have grown in a direction unrecognizable and therefore...unusual.

Have they known you for a lifetime; a lifetime where everyone can predict what you will wear, what you will say and how you will act; and you them?

Why you decided to walk the Way is not as important as how the Camino walked with you. Daily you had to break your "usual" mold. Getting up because you wanted to greet the dawn. Dressing to insure, whatever happens, you are ready. Sharing a meal, vinotinto, a beer or a personal story with fellow pilgrims that genuinely want to hear, want to share and want to be with you and you with them. Comfortable that, for whatever reason, or no particular reason at all, you find room for their reasons and they yours.

It's been said by many pilgrims that arriving in Santiago is often a mixed emotion...not always positive.

Receiving the Compostela can be both an honor and a conclusion. Read the threads that mirror your reaction when arriving back home. Then, go back and read the threads filled with the witnessed majesty that is shared by all at the Pilgrim Mass. Religious, spiritual or just emotionally moving...finally we are all together in the center of what makes the Camino and, now you...unique.

It appears to me that it’s time you begin planning for another unique Camino.
 
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It has been a year since we finished our Camino Frances. I still have the blues. I think I am Camino obsessed! YES, I am already planning our next one, but I may need intervention. Lol. I love Spain, it's people, the experience and the journey.
The bad thing about completing the Camino is that it lingers and follows you home. I love it anyway. Buen Camino.
 
Thank you to both Arn and Al. I agree that my friends knew what I let them. I do think I know my own mind a bit better these days; I know that I am a different person than I was before my camino. And I am deciding which camino will be my next one
 
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I think you summed up the feelings we all have once the Camino is done. Trying to explain the depth of feelings you have about the Camino to those who haven't walked it is next to impossible. Words always fall short. I really like your last line about being part of something bigger. We who have walked have had an experience unlike any other and it kind of puts us in a special category. We hold on to that feeling and that's what brings us back around to planning the next one.
 
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