- Time of past OR future Camino
- Recent:Norte/Muxia- Spring '23
MadridWay- Fall '23
Very funny! Being a self described introvert who leans heavily on the extreme, I wonder how you ever found tourself a spouse!
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Very funny! Being a self described introvert who leans heavily on the extreme, I wonder how you ever found tourself a spouse!So Dave if we ever cross paths on a Camino, I will just nod and smile and keep walking!
I'm an INTJ and have always had to find some place to be alone with my self, or reading a book.Dave,
Thank you for your post. I, too, am an introvert by nature (Meyers Briggs INFJ type). I have had to work very hard at being social in group settings. When I took the Meyers Briggs personality inventory, one of the descriptions of my personality type explained that as introverts we can and do work in social settings. This is not our preferred setting; it will drain our internal batteries very quickly. We need those quiet times by ourselves to recharge these inner batteries.
One of my hardest challenges is small talk. After the customary introductions, I run out of things to say and then comes the awkward silence. But wait an hour or two later after I’ve had time to internally process the situation, and I’ve got a lot I could have said.
My Camino is coming up this June and July. I am relishing some stretches alone along The Way. For those times when social interaction is needed, I’ll work hard at being open and friendly. But, when the “battery” starts getting low, I will have to retreat and observe from a safe distance. The flip side of that is once I get to know someone, then I can let down my guard. I then can engage in some personal conversation or let out my sense of humor.
Thanks, Dave, for your post. Hopefully it will open the eyes to some or many that we are not anti-social. We just need our time to recharge and process.
Don’t worry Glenda, I’m confident you’ll work it out. You can choose to join the noisy table at dinner or not, and no one will be offended. You can walk alone or respond to a friendly ‘Buen Camino’ or not. Especially in the evenings, it’s generally understood that people have their own routine and should be left to rest. Good luckThank you Dave. This was another of those aspects of the Camino causing anxiety, pre-trip. I am not a natural joiner-in, so was wondering whether I would survive what seems like a social free for all. Glad to know I am not alone.
How did you manage in reality, without offending people or becoming ‘that mean guy’?
cheers
Glenda
Well you never never know if you meet David in the Camino you might decide to go for a glass of vine and some tapas.Well said Dave. I am very much the same as you have described. If my wife is away on a business trip I can happily go for days without speaking to another person. I have always been very comfortable with my own company.
My wife is the polar opposite of me. Opposites atrack? If not for her I would happily live in a cabin out in the woods, 500 miles from the nearest human and make semi-annual supply runs.
The challenge at all times is to not appear to be rude or aloof as extroverts find us puzzling to say the least!
My happiest days on the Camino is when I can't see another person anywhere. My wife generally finds people to chat with during the day as we have vastly different walking paces
.
We generally stay in private rooms as I really can't stand bunk rooms at all. They are simply endured when no other option exists.
So Dave if we ever cross paths on a Camino, I will just nod and smile and keep walking!
Both my son and hubby are INTJ's...they are engineers by profession.I'm an INTJ and have always had to find some place to be alone with my self, or reading a book.
Thanks, Albertagirl, for this.I have been an introvert pretty much from birth, but I think that I am becoming less so as I get older. I walk alone, whether in the mountains or on camino, but I enjoy occasional encounters with other camino introverts, such as @Bradypus and @timr. Part of why introversion is particularly natural for me on camino is my feeling that, as a religious/spiritual pilgrim, I am moving outside of the contemporary common understanding of what a camino is about. I am not a tourist nor an "on holiday social" person. On four longer camino routes I have never cooked a meal with another pilgrim, although I have occasionally shared lunch foods. I tell myself that, as a vegetarian and a solitary, I cannot cook with others or take up common cooking facilities just preparing food for myself. But I don't really want to. I have enjoyed common meals in albergues but find them challenging. For example, on the VdlP, a meal was prepared at an albergue: a simple stew with a vegetarian option and pilgrims chose in advance whether to identify as vegetarians. I was not too thrilled to see the vegetarian portion eagerly consumed by meat eaters as an additional dish. They never considered that what they left would have to suffice for the vegetarians present: much easier for me to just eat alone. On the other hand, I enjoyed everything about the very simple traditional albergues, like Granon and San Anton, where the pilgrim spirit is so visible, in spite of the total lack of private space. I guess I would say that, in my daily life, I am an introvert, largely solitary, but on camino I am a pilgrim, trying to be open to however I experience that.
Well said Dave. I am very much the same as you have described. If my wife is away on a business trip I can happily go for days without speaking to another person. I have always been very comfortable with my own company.
My wife is the polar opposite of me. Opposites atrack? If not for her I would happily live in a cabin out in the woods, 500 miles from the nearest human and make semi-annual supply runs.
The challenge at all times is to not appear to be rude or aloof as extroverts find us puzzling to say the least!
My happiest days on the Camino is when I can't see another person anywhere. My wife generally finds people to chat with during the day as we have vastly different walking paces
.
We generally stay in private rooms as I really can't stand bunk rooms at all. They are simply endured when no other option exists.
So Dave if we ever cross paths on a Camino, I will just nod and smile and keep walking!
@davebugg thanks for this thread. I used to be active on Leslie's discussion board (as UnkleHammy) and don't like how it was shut down.
I've also been here for several years too.
I am also an introvert and when I have to interact with people, I say internally to myself that "it is time for mode B operation". Which means that I will try, with increasing mental stress to "appear" like the others are. I still need "me time". In real life I have always been able to ignore those around me and dedicate myself to work. It helps that I have discovered software and have been a programming for over 40 years now. (Additionally it pays well and there are many software types that are also introverted.)
It is rare for me to initiate a conversation, however I am usually willing to participate in a conversation. In the last 7 decades I have developed many short things to say that I use to get out of talking to others. Some of these conversation stoppers are more impolite than others, which is not all that good.
I have I minor complaint on this discussion board and that is that when I see something that is as well written (and many time from the heart) as items are on this thread, there is no way to give an item a "double like"!
I finally got married at 42.Very funny! Being a self described introvert who leans heavily on the extreme, I wonder how you ever found tourself a spouse!
What happens at Orisson????Or why I would rather walk barefoot over fingernail and toenail clippings, piled onto a bed of thorns, that are covering the stony path into Molinaseca, than to stay at a place like Orisson.
People are invited, at dinner, to introduce themselves and share their reasons for walking. So they work their way around the room for everyone to speak.What happens at Orisson????
-a fellow introvert
barbara
The same happens at dinner in Beilari in SJPDP. I spent four days there while recovering from a prolapsed spinal disc about 20km short of there on a walk from the UK. As someone who is both introverted and shy in social situations I found that part of my stay quite uncomfortable but the warmth of the welcome, the generosity and the compassion of Joseph, Jakline and my fellow pilgrims made up for that many times over. Enough that I was delighted to find a bed for the night there a year or so later on my next Camino.People are invited, at dinner, to introduce themselves and share their reasons for walking. So they work their way around the room for everyone to speak.
I stayed at Orisson once: first day, first pilgrimage. I know that I said something when it was my turn. But I have no idea what I said. It cannot have been particularly profound, as I had no idea why I was there.People are invited, at dinner, to introduce themselves and share their reasons for walking. So they work their way around the room for everyone to speak.
Captive audience.
That would be stretching my comfort zone...especially if it was one of the first nights...People are invited, at dinner, to introduce themselves and share their reasons for walking. So they work their way around the room for everyone to speak.
Captive audience.
When you stay at the Albergue Orisson and you started your Camino in SJPdP that would be the case.That would be stretching my comfort zone...especially if it was one of the first nights...
When I was there I just switched to my "mode B" personality. Stressful, but livable.That would be stretching my comfort zone...especially if it was one of the first nights...
You, too, may be an ambivert.Well I enjoyed that commentary immensely. I may lie somewhere between introvert and extrovert as we all do. I walk alone. Have been invited to join groups but I still prefer my own thoughts. But then I crave company. So many lovely people I have met on three Camino. Watching the Way. Again and the longing begins. end of August 2020.
A new word for me...I love it! It speaks volumes in just three short syllables!You, too, may be an ambivert.
Right!When you stay at the Albergue Orisson and you started your Camino in SJPdP that would be the case.
Note: Undoubtedly there will be some unintentional flub up I've made while trying to write down my thoughts on this topic, but it is not intended to offend anybody. And I do hope that nothing written is meant to convey an attitude of unfriendliness or unwillingness to help others or lend a hand.
Hi. My name is David, and I am a non-recovering Introvert.
I do Camino Pilgrimages for myself. Generally, it is for religious and spiritual reasons; I do not do them for social interactions. . . . . which is an odd thing to say, given the fact that, depending on the Camino and the time of year one walks a Pilgrimage, you will be surrounded by lots of people who are also doing their Camino walks.
I just generally don’t enjoy talking to strangers. It is not because I am an antisocial guy, it is simply a symptom of the fact that I am an Introvert. . .or more Introverted than Extroverted. I am an Innie, not an Outie. It is just a fact that my comfort level is better served by slowly getting to know someone, which is often diametrically opposed to Camino-life realities.
And no. . I have no more control over being an Introvert, any more than someone can control the need to breathe. It is not something that can be cured, like a disease or short-term illness; it is just part of how I am hard-wired.
Don’t get me wrong. . . being an Introvert does not inform HOW I behave toward others; it is about how I feel and react inside to being around groups and strangers. If someone screeches their fingernails on a chalkboard, I cannot control the gooseflesh reaction. . . but I can control whether I cringe or groan or show any other voluntary reactions.
Large groups, at parties or ‘get togethers,’ will find me either MIA or sitting back in the shadows, observing the group dynamic. Always being “on” when surrounded by people is simply too mentally exhausting for me. That exhaustion is multiplied many times over on Camino, when surrounded by new communal cohorts and asked the same questions every..single..day.
Q: Why are you doing Camino? I’m on a mission from God.
Q: Where are you from? A great place on Earth.
Yup. . just like those two sample questions. Sometimes, I almost feel like I should print out business cards containing the typical questions with my answers so that I can just hand them out and avoid being corralled into an involuntary interrogation. But I know that folks do not look at 'breaking the ice' questions as anything other than harmless conversation. Well, except for those who fancy themselves as Camino Philosophers and relish bending the ear of any hapless Pilgrim with what is really just a load of metaphysical bovine feces. Add vino, and. . .well . . .
I do not like feeling a need to appear to be open around new folks. . . I know I am not required to do so, but I also know that it is easy for people to assign negative motives if I am not. Humans, as a species, ARE social creatures. Some of us, however, are not.
This is why the dorm life of an alburgue is challenging to me, even though I will stay in albergues a lot of the time... ( plus I had enough of it in the Army in barracks). Or why I would rather walk barefoot over fingernail and toenail clippings, piled onto a bed of thorns, that are covering the stony path into Molinaseca, than to stay at a place like Orisson. Or that the notion of a ‘Camino Family’ is equivalent to a case of food poisoning.
Look, I intellectually understand that most folks don’t have the same ‘temperament’ as me. I do not begrudge that one little bit. I just do not emotionally and psychologically understand how anyone can enjoy social interactions in so open or easy a manner.
Maybe this will help folks understand that not everyone sitting by themselves, alone, needs a social ‘rescue’. It is certainly worthwhile to reach out to that person to see if such is warranted. . . pilgrims should look out for each other. Just consider not being offended if the offer is declined
I totally understand where you are coming from. Before I went besides the physical challenge of course, the absolute most challenging aspect for me was my problems with groups and crowds. I was in the Navy on submarines years ago so I knew I could handle it, but I work rotating 12 hr shifts in my job and I love the alone night shifts and dread the people filled dayshifts. The walk for me was a spiritual quest and I was hoping I was up, able and had the faith to get through the people and physical challenge. The crowded places, Papalona, Burgos, and Santiago were overwhelming at times, but the time alone under the stars before the sun came up, sitting in the quiet churches, hearing the stones crunch under my boots as I heard from God, watching the sun set on the ocean in Muxia were life changing. I got through the people part, and met some very special people that touched me as well.Note: Undoubtedly there will be some unintentional flub up I've made while trying to write down my thoughts on this topic, but it is not intended to offend anybody. And I do hope that nothing written is meant to convey an attitude of unfriendliness or unwillingness to help others or lend a hand.
Hi. My name is David, and I am a non-recovering Introvert.
I do Camino Pilgrimages for myself. Generally, it is for religious and spiritual reasons; I do not do them for social interactions. . . . . which is an odd thing to say, given the fact that, depending on the Camino and the time of year one walks a Pilgrimage, you will be surrounded by lots of people who are also doing their Camino walks.
I just generally don’t enjoy talking to strangers. It is not because I am an antisocial guy, it is simply a symptom of the fact that I am an Introvert. . .or more Introverted than Extroverted. I am an Innie, not an Outie. It is just a fact that my comfort level is better served by slowly getting to know someone, which is often diametrically opposed to Camino-life realities.
And no. . I have no more control over being an Introvert, any more than someone can control the need to breathe. It is not something that can be cured, like a disease or short-term illness; it is just part of how I am hard-wired.
Don’t get me wrong. . . being an Introvert does not inform HOW I behave toward others; it is about how I feel and react inside to being around groups and strangers. If someone screeches their fingernails on a chalkboard, I cannot control the gooseflesh reaction. . . but I can control whether I cringe or groan or show any other voluntary reactions.
Large groups, at parties or ‘get togethers,’ will find me either MIA or sitting back in the shadows, observing the group dynamic. Always being “on” when surrounded by people is simply too mentally exhausting for me. That exhaustion is multiplied many times over on Camino, when surrounded by new communal cohorts and asked the same questions every..single..day.
Q: Why are you doing Camino? I’m on a mission from God.
Q: Where are you from? A great place on Earth.
Yup. . just like those two sample questions. Sometimes, I almost feel like I should print out business cards containing the typical questions with my answers so that I can just hand them out and avoid being corralled into an involuntary interrogation. But I know that folks do not look at 'breaking the ice' questions as anything other than harmless conversation. Well, except for those who fancy themselves as Camino Philosophers and relish bending the ear of any hapless Pilgrim with what is really just a load of metaphysical bovine feces. Add vino, and. . .well . . .
I do not like feeling a need to appear to be open around new folks. . . I know I am not required to do so, but I also know that it is easy for people to assign negative motives if I am not. Humans, as a species, ARE social creatures. Some of us, however, are not.
This is why the dorm life of an alburgue is challenging to me, even though I will stay in albergues a lot of the time... ( plus I had enough of it in the Army in barracks). Or why I would rather walk barefoot over fingernail and toenail clippings, piled onto a bed of thorns, that are covering the stony path into Molinaseca, than to stay at a place like Orisson. Or that the notion of a ‘Camino Family’ is equivalent to a case of food poisoning.
Look, I intellectually understand that most folks don’t have the same ‘temperament’ as me. I do not begrudge that one little bit. I just do not emotionally and psychologically understand how anyone can enjoy social interactions in so open or easy a manner.
Maybe this will help folks understand that not everyone sitting by themselves, alone, needs a social ‘rescue’. It is certainly worthwhile to reach out to that person to see if such is warranted. . . pilgrims should look out for each other. Just consider not being offended if the offer is declined
Yes they are - and don't you just love 'em?People are weird.
Unfortunately this is all too real as we have already seen in this discussion. Thank you for posting this.A bit of fun...
View attachment 68467
I very much prefer to walk alone and really do not long to be part of a "camino family." Sometimes I'll spontaneously join up with people at the end of the day in a cafe who I have met before. However I am very happy to set up my bed at the albergue and then eat dinner, have a glass of wine, explore the town, etc. alone. That's paradise for me. I'm not great at small talk and I don't like big groups.
Ah wonderful. Thank you, Chris!A bit of fun...
There is nothing to 'cure,' and nothing wrong with being energized by quiet and solitude. In fact it is a wonderful gift that allows depth and ease in situations that would drive an extrovert around the bend. Walk with your head high!That is one of my major reasons for wanting to do the Camino, and now you say it is not a "cure" yikes
This little snippet describes me to a "T".I'm not great at small talk and I don't like big groups.
Was that sign made by an introvert or an extrovert
I'm walking the Camino in June/July this year on my own. I prefer to walk alone but I'm such a people pleaser and hate causing offense of any kind that I'm afraid I will compromise my own experience by talking to people so that I din't appear rude or because it's the expected thing to do.
After 61 years, for me, I tend to make friendships with people of similar backgrounds, hobbies, political leanings and so on. I can immediately make half of any group avoid me by saying I believe in God, I’m conservative, I’m a Navy Veteran I own weapons, I ride motorcycles, I’m a geek and so on. Those attributes usually insure a first encounter will be the last.
Here's my stock line to ditch people, "Hey, it was great talking to you! I'm gonna take a break here and I'm sure we'll see each other again down the road."
It's an obvious - but not unfriendly - goodbye. I've yet to have anyone say, hey, good idea, I'll take a break here, too.
Very good to read you saying this. Too often posts in Camino debate seem to be arguing that everything is relative and any strong personal stance is unacceptably "judgmental" - using that term in a wholly negative pejorative sense. I much prefer to encounter honesty and a willingness to defend one's position provided it is done with courtesy. You do not have to agree with someone to show them respect!Most people run away ; and the ones that don't ? Well, those are the good guys, and they usually have something interesting to hear and/or to say, usually both -- though sometimes I am the first outright and blatant Camino zealot they've come across, and they need to hear what the zealotry is like, first-hand, so that they can work out their own relationship with the Way, better informed, but on their own terms.
Perhaps not but I am having some success with the projectWe can't be grumpy and alone all the time !!!
INTP hereBoth my son and hubby are INTJ's...they are engineers by profession.
And they always say "opposites attract"!INTP hereAs is my husband. We can sit side by side at our computers for hours and not even notice we haven't spoken a word!
Oh I so agree with you.....!!!Note: Undoubtedly there will be some unintentional flub up I've made while trying to write down my thoughts on this topic, but it is not intended to offend anybody. And I do hope that nothing written is meant to convey an attitude of unfriendliness or unwillingness to help others or lend a hand.
Hi. My name is David, and I am a non-recovering Introvert.
I do Camino Pilgrimages for myself. Generally, it is for religious and spiritual reasons; I do not do them for social interactions. . . . . which is an odd thing to say, given the fact that, depending on the Camino and the time of year one walks a Pilgrimage, you will be surrounded by lots of people who are also doing their Camino walks.
I just generally don’t enjoy talking to strangers. It is not because I am an antisocial guy, it is simply a symptom of the fact that I am an Introvert. . .or more Introverted than Extroverted. I am an Innie, not an Outie. It is just a fact that my comfort level is better served by slowly getting to know someone, which is often diametrically opposed to Camino-life realities.
And no. . I have no more control over being an Introvert, any more than someone can control the need to breathe. It is not something that can be cured, like a disease or short-term illness; it is just part of how I am hard-wired.
Don’t get me wrong. . . being an Introvert does not inform HOW I behave toward others; it is about how I feel and react inside to being around groups and strangers. If someone screeches their fingernails on a chalkboard, I cannot control the gooseflesh reaction. . . but I can control whether I cringe or groan or show any other voluntary reactions.
Large groups, at parties or ‘get togethers,’ will find me either MIA or sitting back in the shadows, observing the group dynamic. Always being “on” when surrounded by people is simply too mentally exhausting for me. That exhaustion is multiplied many times over on Camino, when surrounded by new communal cohorts and asked the same questions every..single..day.
Q: Why are you doing Camino? I’m on a mission from God.
Q: Where are you from? A great place on Earth.
Yup. . just like those two sample questions. Sometimes, I almost feel like I should print out business cards containing the typical questions with my answers so that I can just hand them out and avoid being corralled into an involuntary interrogation. But I know that folks do not look at 'breaking the ice' questions as anything other than harmless conversation. Well, except for those who fancy themselves as Camino Philosophers and relish bending the ear of any hapless Pilgrim with what is really just a load of metaphysical bovine feces. Add vino, and. . .well . . .
I do not like feeling a need to appear to be open around new folks. . . I know I am not required to do so, but I also know that it is easy for people to assign negative motives if I am not. Humans, as a species, ARE social creatures. Some of us, however, are not.
This is why the dorm life of an alburgue is challenging to me, even though I will stay in albergues a lot of the time... ( plus I had enough of it in the Army in barracks). Or why I would rather walk barefoot over fingernail and toenail clippings, piled onto a bed of thorns, that are covering the stony path into Molinaseca, than to stay at a place like Orisson. Or that the notion of a ‘Camino Family’ is equivalent to a case of food poisoning.
Look, I intellectually understand that most folks don’t have the same ‘temperament’ as me. I do not begrudge that one little bit. I just do not emotionally and psychologically understand how anyone can enjoy social interactions in so open or easy a manner.
Maybe this will help folks understand that not everyone sitting by themselves, alone, needs a social ‘rescue’. It is certainly worthwhile to reach out to that person to see if such is warranted. . . pilgrims should look out for each other. Just consider not being offended if the offer is declined
Oh my God you just described meLarge groups, at parties or ‘get togethers,’ will find me either MIA or sitting back in the shadows, observing the group dynamic. Always being “on” when surrounded by people is simply too mentally exhausting for me. That exhaustion is multiplied many times over on Camino, when surrounded by new communal cohorts and asked the same questions every..single..day.
I am an introvert as well and most of the people I met on the Camino were introverts. One thing I loved about the Camino and the people I met is that we were all extremely independent. Introverts are helpful but they don’t push their help on others in an unsolicited aggressively helpful way. That’s how I look at it at least. Most days I walked by myself with short interruptions of pleasant interactions with people that I had met earlier on the pilgrimage. I do love hearing people’s stories and there were many opportunities for that in the evenings. I flourished in an environment of no “news weather and sports” conversations. I hate those and I’m really bad at it. I felt blessed to have had some incredible conversations with some amazing people who I am ever so grateful to take a piece of them with me for the rest of my life.Note: Undoubtedly there will be some unintentional flub up I've made while trying to write down my thoughts on this topic, but it is not intended to offend anybody. And I do hope that nothing written is meant to convey an attitude of unfriendliness or unwillingness to help others or lend a hand.
Hi. My name is David, and I am a non-recovering Introvert.
I do Camino Pilgrimages for myself. Generally, it is for religious and spiritual reasons; I do not do them for social interactions. . . . . which is an odd thing to say, given the fact that, depending on the Camino and the time of year one walks a Pilgrimage, you will be surrounded by lots of people who are also doing their Camino walks.
I just generally don’t enjoy talking to strangers. It is not because I am an antisocial guy, it is simply a symptom of the fact that I am an Introvert. . .or more Introverted than Extroverted. I am an Innie, not an Outie. It is just a fact that my comfort level is better served by slowly getting to know someone, which is often diametrically opposed to Camino-life realities.
And no. . I have no more control over being an Introvert, any more than someone can control the need to breathe. It is not something that can be cured, like a disease or short-term illness; it is just part of how I am hard-wired.
Don’t get me wrong. . . being an Introvert does not inform HOW I behave toward others; it is about how I feel and react inside to being around groups and strangers. If someone screeches their fingernails on a chalkboard, I cannot control the gooseflesh reaction. . . but I can control whether I cringe or groan or show any other voluntary reactions.
Large groups, at parties or ‘get togethers,’ will find me either MIA or sitting back in the shadows, observing the group dynamic. Always being “on” when surrounded by people is simply too mentally exhausting for me. That exhaustion is multiplied many times over on Camino, when surrounded by new communal cohorts and asked the same questions every..single..day.
Q: Why are you doing Camino? I’m on a mission from God.
Q: Where are you from? A great place on Earth.
Yup. . just like those two sample questions. Sometimes, I almost feel like I should print out business cards containing the typical questions with my answers so that I can just hand them out and avoid being corralled into an involuntary interrogation. But I know that folks do not look at 'breaking the ice' questions as anything other than harmless conversation. Well, except for those who fancy themselves as Camino Philosophers and relish bending the ear of any hapless Pilgrim with what is really just a load of metaphysical bovine feces. Add vino, and. . .well . . .
I do not like feeling a need to appear to be open around new folks. . . I know I am not required to do so, but I also know that it is easy for people to assign negative motives if I am not. Humans, as a species, ARE social creatures. Some of us, however, are not.
This is why the dorm life of an alburgue is challenging to me, even though I will stay in albergues a lot of the time... ( plus I had enough of it in the Army in barracks). Or why I would rather walk barefoot over fingernail and toenail clippings, piled onto a bed of thorns, that are covering the stony path into Molinaseca, than to stay at a place like Orisson. Or that the notion of a ‘Camino Family’ is equivalent to a case of food poisoning.
Look, I intellectually understand that most folks don’t have the same ‘temperament’ as me. I do not begrudge that one little bit. I just do not emotionally and psychologically understand how anyone can enjoy social interactions in so open or easy a manner.
Maybe this will help folks understand that not everyone sitting by themselves, alone, needs a social ‘rescue’. It is certainly worthwhile to reach out to that person to see if such is warranted. . . pilgrims should look out for each other. Just consider not being offended if the offer is declined
I thought that too. I notice for me one reason is that it takes me a while to collect my thoughts and think about what I want to say so that’s easier to do in writing. Another reason is that online no one interrupts me LOL that actually happens quite a bit in face to face conversations.Ever noticed that introverts are by far the most gregarious in online fora?
QUIET is an amazing book!Another couple of reads I'd also recommend;
"The Introverts Way - Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy World" by Sophia Dembling
&
"The Happy Introvert" by Elizabeth Wagele
Both are enlightening & reassuring!
And if you don’t have time to read the book just watch the Ted Talk by Susan Cain that’s pretty good also.I highly recommend “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking”, by Susan Cain. Not just for introverts, as extroverts might benefit from reading it.
I walk alone. I enjoy conversations with one or two on meaningful topics. I hate touchy feely group-speak.
I am an innie who wants to be an outtie.I travel a lot solo throughout Europe and stay in hostels. I envy those who so easily slip into social conversations with others. On the occasion when I do make a connection, I usually make a bond....and often stay in touch. That’s probably why I crave it so much!Note: Undoubtedly there will be some unintentional flub up I've made while trying to write down my thoughts on this topic, but it is not intended to offend anybody. And I do hope that nothing written is meant to convey an attitude of unfriendliness or unwillingness to help others or lend a hand.
Hi. My name is David, and I am a non-recovering Introvert.
I do Camino Pilgrimages for myself. Generally, it is for religious and spiritual reasons; I do not do them for social interactions. . . . . which is an odd thing to say, given the fact that, depending on the Camino and the time of year one walks a Pilgrimage, you will be surrounded by lots of people who are also doing their Camino walks.
I just generally don’t enjoy talking to strangers. It is not because I am an antisocial guy, it is simply a symptom of the fact that I am an Introvert. . .or more Introverted than Extroverted. I am an Innie, not an Outie. It is just a fact that my comfort level is better served by slowly getting to know someone, which is often diametrically opposed to Camino-life realities.
And no. . I have no more control over being an Introvert, any more than someone can control the need to breathe. It is not something that can be cured, like a disease or short-term illness; it is just part of how I am hard-wired.
Don’t get me wrong. . . being an Introvert does not inform HOW I behave toward others; it is about how I feel and react inside to being around groups and strangers. If someone screeches their fingernails on a chalkboard, I cannot control the gooseflesh reaction. . . but I can control whether I cringe or groan or show any other voluntary reactions.
Large groups, at parties or ‘get togethers,’ will find me either MIA or sitting back in the shadows, observing the group dynamic. Always being “on” when surrounded by people is simply too mentally exhausting for me. That exhaustion is multiplied many times over on Camino, when surrounded by new communal cohorts and asked the same questions every..single..day.
Q: Why are you doing Camino? I’m on a mission from God.
Q: Where are you from? A great place on Earth.
Yup. . just like those two sample questions. Sometimes, I almost feel like I should print out business cards containing the typical questions with my answers so that I can just hand them out and avoid being corralled into an involuntary interrogation. But I know that folks do not look at 'breaking the ice' questions as anything other than harmless conversation. Well, except for those who fancy themselves as Camino Philosophers and relish bending the ear of any hapless Pilgrim with what is really just a load of metaphysical bovine feces. Add vino, and. . .well . . .
I do not like feeling a need to appear to be open around new folks. . . I know I am not required to do so, but I also know that it is easy for people to assign negative motives if I am not. Humans, as a species, ARE social creatures. Some of us, however, are not.
This is why the dorm life of an alburgue is challenging to me, even though I will stay in albergues a lot of the time... ( plus I had enough of it in the Army in barracks). Or why I would rather walk barefoot over fingernail and toenail clippings, piled onto a bed of thorns, that are covering the stony path into Molinaseca, than to stay at a place like Orisson. Or that the notion of a ‘Camino Family’ is equivalent to a case of food poisoning.
Look, I intellectually understand that most folks don’t have the same ‘temperament’ as me. I do not begrudge that one little bit. I just do not emotionally and psychologically understand how anyone can enjoy social interactions in so open or easy a manner.
Maybe this will help folks understand that not everyone sitting by themselves, alone, needs a social ‘rescue’. It is certainly worthwhile to reach out to that person to see if such is warranted. . . pilgrims should look out for each other. Just consider not being offended if the offer is declined
That's because the extroverts are rarely at home relaxing...but usually out and about being gregarious in public!Ever noticed that introverts are by far the most gregarious in online fora?
Dave, what is the link for your hyperlapse on youtube?I really understand that, Chris.
On my last Frances camino in 2018, I met a guy named Clovis, who is from Massachusetts. I met him on the Express Bouricott shuttle while traveling from the Biarritz airport to St Jean.
It was a mostly full van, and we were seated next to each other. He started trying to converse, and I politely gave him short answers to his questions. It then occurred to me that I did not want to start that Camino appearing to be rude, so I politely asked him some followup questions: Home. . family. . where are you staying in SJPdP. .
For some reason, I warmed up to him. It was odd, because I didn't feel the need for a companion, but something just 'clicked'. After we both had checked into our lodgings, we met up later in the early afternoon, and I gave him a tour of St Jean as we walked.
I found out that he was walking to Roncesvalles over Napoleon the next morning, as I was going to do, and that after spending the night in Roncesvalles at the Collegiate alburgue, he was getting a bike from a rental company and would be riding to Santiago.
We parted company as he had other dinner plans. The next morning, I started over Napoleon and saw him as I was taking a before-midmorning break or bocadillo and Fantas. We sat and chatted, got some pictures together, then he took off on his walk. I left a half-hour later.
I caught up with him about 5 miles prior to Loepeder and the downhill to Roncesvalles. His daypack harness had ripped apart (very flimsy sack) and he was trying to repair it enough to walk with. I stopped and dug out my Sea-to-Summit daypack and loaned it to him. My intent was to keep walking alone. . . I was also filming the step-by-step GoPro video of the entire walk that's on YouTube as a Hyperlapse.
It ended up we walked the rest of the way together. It worked because Clovis seemed to recognize my need for quiet as we walked, and conversations just felt comfortable, albeit sparse.
At Roncesvalles we did hang around for a bit after dinner, and attended the Pilgrim Mass. The next morning, I saw him getting dressed (he was on the same floor) as I passed by, and we said our goodbyes, as I headed out to Pamplona (yup, real long day, but I enjoy the people watching there at night).
I ate some breakfast in Burgette, and as I was walking back to the street from the bar, I heard a loud hello, and saw Clovis riding up on his bike rental. We chatted and decided to maintain contact with each other via WhatsApp. . . which became a nightly base-touching during his 12 day ride to Santiago.
Since that time, we have maintained a friendship and keep in regular contact. In all of the Camino, in all of my years backpacking, I have never made a long-term friend. Funny how life goes.
Dave Bugg has an introduction to the video at https://www.caminodesantiago.me/com...te-napoleon-from-sjpdp-to-roncesvalles.59350/Dave, what is the link for your hyperlapse on youtube?
Introversion is just part of how my personality 'is'.
Attempting to avoid being interrogated by people is another thing I try to cope with. People ask me "What do you do?" I try to avoid it and say that I am retired, which is true as I am now 79yo. They don't take the hint and follow up with "What did you used to do?" I will reluctantly say that I used to be a doctor but not any more. Then they usually press on and ask "What sort of doctor were you?" And so on. I have reluctantly had this conversation many times before they move on with the rest of the interrogation, such as "Are you married, where do you live, do you have any children, etc,?" We are nearly all interested in other people so these questions are perfectly normal and if one is sensitive and an 'innie' then one can read the other persons response to such questions and know how to respect that. Less sensitive people just press on and are quite unaware of the impact of their questions.
Note: Undoubtedly there will be some unintentional flub up I've made while trying to write down my thoughts on this topic, but it is not intended to offend anybody. And I do hope that nothing written is meant to convey an attitude of unfriendliness or unwillingness to help others or lend a hand.
Hi. My name is David, and I am a non-recovering Introvert.
I do Camino Pilgrimages for myself. Generally, it is for religious and spiritual reasons; I do not do them for social interactions. . . . . which is an odd thing to say, given the fact that, depending on the Camino and the time of year one walks a Pilgrimage, you will be surrounded by lots of people who are also doing their Camino walks.
I just generally don’t enjoy talking to strangers. It is not because I am an antisocial guy, it is simply a symptom of the fact that I am an Introvert. . .or more Introverted than Extroverted. I am an Innie, not an Outie. It is just a fact that my comfort level is better served by slowly getting to know someone, which is often diametrically opposed to Camino-life realities.
And no. . I have no more control over being an Introvert, any more than someone can control the need to breathe. It is not something that can be cured, like a disease or short-term illness; it is just part of how I am hard-wired.
Don’t get me wrong. . . being an Introvert does not inform HOW I behave toward others; it is about how I feel and react inside to being around groups and strangers. If someone screeches their fingernails on a chalkboard, I cannot control the gooseflesh reaction. . . but I can control whether I cringe or groan or show any other voluntary reactions.
Large groups, at parties or ‘get togethers,’ will find me either MIA or sitting back in the shadows, observing the group dynamic. Always being “on” when surrounded by people is simply too mentally exhausting for me. That exhaustion is multiplied many times over on Camino, when surrounded by new communal cohorts and asked the same questions every..single..day.
Q: Why are you doing Camino? I’m on a mission from God.
Q: Where are you from? A great place on Earth.
Yup. . just like those two sample questions. Sometimes, I almost feel like I should print out business cards containing the typical questions with my answers so that I can just hand them out and avoid being corralled into an involuntary interrogation. But I know that folks do not look at 'breaking the ice' questions as anything other than harmless conversation. Well, except for those who fancy themselves as Camino Philosophers and relish bending the ear of any hapless Pilgrim with what is really just a load of metaphysical bovine feces. Add vino, and. . .well . . .
I do not like feeling a need to appear to be open around new folks. . . I know I am not required to do so, but I also know that it is easy for people to assign negative motives if I am not. Humans, as a species, ARE social creatures. Some of us, however, are not.
This is why the dorm life of an alburgue is challenging to me, even though I will stay in albergues a lot of the time... ( plus I had enough of it in the Army in barracks). Or why I would rather walk barefoot over fingernail and toenail clippings, piled onto a bed of thorns, that are covering the stony path into Molinaseca, than to stay at a place like Orisson. Or that the notion of a ‘Camino Family’ is equivalent to a case of food poisoning.
Look, I intellectually understand that most folks don’t have the same ‘temperament’ as me. I do not begrudge that one little bit. I just do not emotionally and psychologically understand how anyone can enjoy social interactions in so open or easy a manner.
Maybe this will help folks understand that not everyone sitting by themselves, alone, needs a social ‘rescue’. It is certainly worthwhile to reach out to that person to see if such is warranted. . . pilgrims should look out for each other. Just consider not being offended if the offer is declined
Thank you David I am so glad that I am not alone in these feelings.JNote: Undoubtedly there will be some unintentional flub up I've made while trying to write down my thoughts on this topic, but it is not intended to offend anybody. And I do hope that nothing written is meant to convey an attitude of unfriendliness or unwillingness to help others or lend a hand.
Hi. My name is David, and I am a non-recovering Introvert.
I do Camino Pilgrimages for myself. Generally, it is for religious and spiritual reasons; I do not do them for social interactions. . . . . which is an odd thing to say, given the fact that, depending on the Camino and the time of year one walks a Pilgrimage, you will be surrounded by lots of people who are also doing their Camino walks.
I just generally don’t enjoy talking to strangers. It is not because I am an antisocial guy, it is simply a symptom of the fact that I am an Introvert. . .or more Introverted than Extroverted. I am an Innie, not an Outie. It is just a fact that my comfort level is better served by slowly getting to know someone, which is often diametrically opposed to Camino-life realities.
And no. . I have no more control over being an Introvert, any more than someone can control the need to breathe. It is not something that can be cured, like a disease or short-term illness; it is just part of how I am hard-wired.
Don’t get me wrong. . . being an Introvert does not inform HOW I behave toward others; it is about how I feel and react inside to being around groups and strangers. If someone screeches their fingernails on a chalkboard, I cannot control the gooseflesh reaction. . . but I can control whether I cringe or groan or show any other voluntary reactions.
Large groups, at parties or ‘get togethers,’ will find me either MIA or sitting back in the shadows, observing the group dynamic. Always being “on” when surrounded by people is simply too mentally exhausting for me. That exhaustion is multiplied many times over on Camino, when surrounded by new communal cohorts and asked the same questions every..single..day.
Q: Why are you doing Camino? I’m on a mission from God.
Q: Where are you from? A great place on Earth.
Yup. . just like those two sample questions. Sometimes, I almost feel like I should print out business cards containing the typical questions with my answers so that I can just hand them out and avoid being corralled into an involuntary interrogation. But I know that folks do not look at 'breaking the ice' questions as anything other than harmless conversation. Well, except for those who fancy themselves as Camino Philosophers and relish bending the ear of any hapless Pilgrim with what is really just a load of metaphysical bovine feces. Add vino, and. . .well . . .
I do not like feeling a need to appear to be open around new folks. . . I know I am not required to do so, but I also know that it is easy for people to assign negative motives if I am not. Humans, as a species, ARE social creatures. Some of us, however, are not.
This is why the dorm life of an alburgue is challenging to me, even though I will stay in albergues a lot of the time... ( plus I had enough of it in the Army in barracks). Or why I would rather walk barefoot over fingernail and toenail clippings, piled onto a bed of thorns, that are covering the stony path into Molinaseca, than to stay at a place like Orisson. Or that the notion of a ‘Camino Family’ is equivalent to a case of food poisoning.
Look, I intellectually understand that most folks don’t have the same ‘temperament’ as me. I do not begrudge that one little bit. I just do not emotionally and psychologically understand how anyone can enjoy social interactions in so open or easy a manner.
Maybe this will help folks understand that not everyone sitting by themselves, alone, needs a social ‘rescue’. It is certainly worthwhile to reach out to that person to see if such is warranted. . . pilgrims should look out for each other. Just consider not being offended if the offer is declined
Solitude and loneliness are things many people confuse. But they're really different. And even an extrovert can enjoy some solitude.This is a lovely description, @Meara.For the purpose of this discussion I'd say I'm a solitary extrovert
Not probably - it is.I think this is probably
Only 'recently' in the Western mainstream. Mindfulness is an ancient and very useful tool for managing stess, pain, and difficulty. Its primary traditional role is selfless: deepening wisdom and compassion. Unfortunately, it has been extracted from its proper context of a multi-dimentional spiritual practice - and lots of unqualified "mindfulness teachers" and "life coaches" (eye roll) are making a killing off it. Remembering how to be present shouldn't cost you an arm and a leg.But more recently it is called the practice of mindfulness;
agreed.Solitude and loneliness are things many people confuse. But they're really different. And even an extrovert can enjoy some solitude.This is a lovely description, @Meara.
Not probably - it is.
Only 'recently' in the Western mainstream. Mindfulness is an ancient and very useful tool for managing stess, pain, and difficulty. Unfortunately, it has been extracted from its proper context of a multi-dimentional spiritual practice - and lots of unqualified "mindfulness teachers" and "life coaches" (eye roll) are making a killing off it. Remembering how to be present shouldn't cost you an arm and a leg.
And it's not the panacea that the influencers in the spiritual marketplace claim - it can be misused and even dangerous, depending on one's psychological balance.
So buyer beware.
Another guiding light has gone:
So strange that I checked in on an update on him and found out he died... tomorrow, my time.Another guiding light has gone:
He will have gone to a good place.Thich Nhat Hanh, revered Zen Buddhist monk and peace activist, dies at 95
The spiritual leader rose to prominence as an opponent of the Vietnam war and was lauded by Martin Luther Kingwww.theguardian.com
@Walkerooni, writing 'undiagnosed' was intended as a joke..which is why I put it in inverted commas. I basically meant I didn't recognise I was an introvert until I was in my early 40's. This did not stem from lack of self-awareness but more from the common misunderstanding of what an introvert actually is.I too, am an introvert. Perhaps an outgoing introvert. But I have a problem with your term “undiagnosed” which implies introversion is a condition with a negative connotation. Simply put, an introvert gets most of what they need from within, while extroverts get most of what they need from others. Therefore, extroverts are the ones lacking what they need to make themselves whole. Introverts need to stop apologizing for not needing what extroverts lack. Introverts make the world go around. They make the best leaders. Stop lookng at it as a negative thing!
I typically, but not always, walked on my own during the day, but totally enjoyed meeting pilgrims at the end of the day, forming great friendships with a select number of those...all mostly introverts. Walk on introverts...you lack nothing.
I too am an introvert and crowd gatherings are painful for me. I don't mind one on one getting to know someone and chatting though, with escape paths when I have had enough. I inadvertently found the way that helped me deal with albergues was I only sleep @6hrs or so when lights went off at the albergues about 10 PM I would wake up about 4:30-5AM. I got into the cycle of getting going predawn and I found tons of alone time and I would check in the albergues early afternoon before they were crowded and it got hot. That and my go to distraction reading to escape the noise and crowd takes me away. There were moments that I struggled, but I too the idea of a Camino family prior to walking almost put me off that I can't do this. I thrived all of that solitary alone time on the Camino and it changed my life.Note: Undoubtedly there will be some unintentional flub up I've made while trying to write down my thoughts on this topic, but it is not intended to offend anybody. And I do hope that nothing written is meant to convey an attitude of unfriendliness or unwillingness to help others or lend a hand.
Hi. My name is David, and I am a non-recovering Introvert.
I do Camino Pilgrimages for myself. Generally, it is for religious and spiritual reasons; I do not do them for social interactions. . . . . which is an odd thing to say, given the fact that, depending on the Camino and the time of year one walks a Pilgrimage, you will be surrounded by lots of people who are also doing their Camino walks.
I just generally don’t enjoy talking to strangers. It is not because I am an antisocial guy, it is simply a symptom of the fact that I am an Introvert. . .or more Introverted than Extroverted. I am an Innie, not an Outie. It is just a fact that my comfort level is better served by slowly getting to know someone, which is often diametrically opposed to Camino-life realities.
And no. . I have no more control over being an Introvert, any more than someone can control the need to breathe. It is not something that can be cured, like a disease or short-term illness; it is just part of how I am hard-wired.
Don’t get me wrong. . . being an Introvert does not inform HOW I behave toward others; it is about how I feel and react inside to being around groups and strangers. If someone screeches their fingernails on a chalkboard, I cannot control the gooseflesh reaction. . . but I can control whether I cringe or groan or show any other voluntary reactions.
Large groups, at parties or ‘get togethers,’ will find me either MIA or sitting back in the shadows, observing the group dynamic. Always being “on” when surrounded by people is simply too mentally exhausting for me. That exhaustion is multiplied many times over on Camino, when surrounded by new communal cohorts and asked the same questions every..single..day.
Q: Why are you doing Camino? I’m on a mission from God.
Q: Where are you from? A great place on Earth.
Yup. . just like those two sample questions. Sometimes, I almost feel like I should print out business cards containing the typical questions with my answers so that I can just hand them out and avoid being corralled into an involuntary interrogation. But I know that folks do not look at 'breaking the ice' questions as anything other than harmless conversation. Well, except for those who fancy themselves as Camino Philosophers and relish bending the ear of any hapless Pilgrim with what is really just a load of metaphysical bovine feces. Add vino, and. . .well . . .
I do not like feeling a need to appear to be open around new folks. . . I know I am not required to do so, but I also know that it is easy for people to assign negative motives if I am not. Humans, as a species, ARE social creatures. Some of us, however, are not.
This is why the dorm life of an alburgue is challenging to me, even though I will stay in albergues a lot of the time... ( plus I had enough of it in the Army in barracks). Or why I would rather walk barefoot over fingernail and toenail clippings, piled onto a bed of thorns, that are covering the stony path into Molinaseca, than to stay at a place like Orisson. Or that the notion of a ‘Camino Family’ is equivalent to a case of food poisoning.
Look, I intellectually understand that most folks don’t have the same ‘temperament’ as me. I do not begrudge that one little bit. I just do not emotionally and psychologically understand how anyone can enjoy social interactions in so open or easy a manner.
Maybe this will help folks understand that not everyone sitting by themselves, alone, needs a social ‘rescue’. It is certainly worthwhile to reach out to that person to see if such is warranted. . . pilgrims should look out for each other. Just consider not being offended if the offer is declined
I do not usually appreciate crowd gatherings either, although there are a few exceptions for me at times. I love one on one(or one on two) conversations and find those encounters very satisfying and needed. I do enjoy some alone time, but am not a loner. I lean more towards being an ambivert.I too am an introvert and crowd gatherings are painful for me. I don't mind one on one getting to know someone and chatting though,
Introvert, extrovert, omnivert & ambivert (a new one to me thanks @Camino Chrissy) ...we're all very different but at least we're all 'verts'!
YESSSS!. And thank goodness we are not all the same variety of ‘vert’ . We need all ‘verts’ on the continuum. And, as one who tends to introversion - other than with my absolute nearest and dearest - I’m so grateful for the more extroverted people in my life. They can bring me out of myself when I need it and add much joy.
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