Responses to the Return Thread
I’m going to provide a general answer to the forum topic rather than respond to people individually. Thank you again to everyone who chose to participate. I may contact you individually, in private, in the future. This is a long response and has various parts:
Themes common in the Return
Various themes are coming through in the Tell me About the Return responses: the mixed feelings about arriving in Santiago, the fluidity of “the end”, the power of other travel experiences pre-Internet vs. the Camino now, feeling of incomprehension upon return home (people’s eyes have been glazing since time immemorial
) , the difficulty of incorporating the Camino into one’s daily life, the longing to return to the Camino, the ways that we can and do incorporate the Camino into our lives to bring it home with us. Thank you for sharing all of these perspectives.
In my book
Pilgrim Stories, I describe many of these same themes that are now coming up for you in your post-return. If you are interested in finding comfort in others’ words on the topic or reading about how others also experience the return, the last chapters of my book deal with the process of arrival and the return – Chapter 5 is called Arrivals and Endings, Chapter 6 – Santiago, Chapter 7 – To the End of the Earth, Chapter 8 – Going Home.
Other Travels and Culture Shock
The responses from MarkLee, August Caminodeb and biarritzdon were particularly noteworthy for their memories and comparisons of other intense travel experiences (immersion in an 'alien' culture) pre-internet when the return was often a major “culture shock” experience. It may seem hard to imagine now but for the majority, the Camino was a type of mental and physical boot camp pre-Internet (when a powerful and distinct mental break was made from home and the familiar) that turned your world upside down and forced you to get outside of yourself because you had no other recourse when adversity presented itself. As a society, we are dramatically changing our experiences of “being away” through our incorporation of technology into many different, seemingly innocuous, aspects of the experience. This comment in no way implies that what came before was "better" or that the Camino does not continue to be a magnificent space for personal exploration, growth and creation of a wonderful set of lasting, life long memories and experiences. It's simply different. What the Camino "is" is in a constant state of evolution and renovation by those who course its ways, participate in its forums and tend the way, etc. You see this process in action on the forum all the time where certain themes create constant debate, often heated, about what the Camino is, isn't and how it should and shouldn't be.
What I do as an Anthropologist
As an anthropologist my job is not to give advice but to help us as a community to see ourselves. It is difficult to see what is often only implicitly understood and acted upon. By listening very closely I try to hear both the said and the unsaid, the common and the contradictory and try to make sense of it all then situate it in its larger context. It’s then up to you to go back and listen to what I have pieced together from your vast and complex and often contradictory set of thoughts and actions, and come to your own conclusions. It’s not my role to judge, to tell people what to do, or what is best but to hopefully provoke deeper thought and reflection by offering insights from the perspective of the “big picture”. I have been studying, living, walking, exploring, teaching about and experiencing the Camino every single year since 1992 when I first walked into the Plaza de Obradoiro wide-eyed and curious. That was when I saw my first Santiago pilgrim and I wanted to try and understand this thing called the Camino. Over the course of those years I have seen many changes. Change is normal. Everything is always changing. I haven't felt much need to write further articles about the Camino since I published my book in 1998 because I felt like I had pretty much said everything I had to say and not much had changed in a deep way. I have felt compelled, though, to study and write about the impact our new relationships with technology are having on our experiences of self and others, especially in the context of the Camino where an inner experience has traditionally been fundamental, because I do believe these changes are significant and worth thinking about individually and as a society.
Some people have been upset in the forum because they think I’m just using the forum for my own ends without giving back through offering advice and posting frequently. This is one interpretation and holds a lot of implicit assumptions about what a “good forum member” does and doesn’t do. It also doesn’t take into account the scope of the larger purpose of the project which is to give back to the pilgrim community through my work and insights. Separating myself off as anthropologist, Nancy Frey has many different facets (like everyone else) mother, pilgrim, daughter, guide, teacher, student and I could offer all sorts of advice but that’s now why I’m here. If this was a “normal” fieldwork situation where we could be talking face to face, some people would perhaps feel less “put upon” by my listening. In all my years of doing face to face research and interviews, I’ve never been accused of abusing the system for being an attentive, reflective listener. There’s also an inherent value in asking reflective questions because it asks the individual to go deeper and thereby hopefully lead one to greater insight or understanding Also, no one is obliged to respond, only those who wish to share and reflect.
One of the huge limitations of on-screen relationships is the lack of face to face interaction. If I was able to speak to each of you individually and hear your story, listen to your pauses, wait while you reflected, press you gently to explore a little further, I think you might end up feeling very differently. Because you can’t see me or hear me, some of you are suspicious about that listening and think it’s just taking. In a face to face situation, it would be simultaneously both giving and taking. I have said in previous posts that much of the Camino is now happening on-line which means that these limitations of communication are part of that new reality. Doing fieldwork on-line is not easy precisely because of these limitations and this latest difficulty with my thread has been very instructive (for those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about several responses had to be censored from the thread due to their inappropriate tone and hostility). To anyone who I have inadvertently offended by my asking reflective questions and listening, I’m sorry. I hope that you will see someday that there’s a lot more to participation in the forum than racking up a large post count.
Keeping the Camino Flame Alive in your Heart
To those of you who are missing the Camino, here’s one way to keep the Camino fire burning in your heart in your daily life. Remember: the Camino is now within you. The Camino is a literal space you go to but once you are there, it starts to grow and imprint itself upon your inner being. It becomes a landscape within. On your inner Camino there’s a rich storehouse of memories, smells, sensations, hardships, triumphs, disappointments, joys, insights….You can return to this Camino anytime you like and draw on the power of those memories and experiences to give you strength in the here and now. No one can take that away from you.
How do you access your inner Camino in your daily life? Make time to take a walk, preferably in nature. Go with intention and keep yourself attuned to your surroundings (ie, take out the ear buds and disconnect your phone). Before you start, visualize a Camino memory or place that you particularly like and start walking, keeping that memory in mind. Give yourself at least 30 minutes. The Camino will come back to you. Let go and allow your mind to do what it does naturally: as you walk memory will flow and you will be on the Camino again. If your mind starts to wander off your inner Camino you can gently redirect it back to the initial memory/place. You may be surprised where your inner Camino will take you. Sometimes those inner miles that you walk will take you the furthest.
). As far as friends and family go, after the first Camino shared photos, etc with them. After the second Camino the novelty wore off I suppose, ha ha. Wasn't going to bore them rehashing stories of trekking across northern Spain, drinking coffee in cafes, enjoying the local wine and seeing the sights, all the while they were back home doing the daily work grind.
