PTSD on the Camino

[starrysky]

I hesitated to post this but maybe it will help someone else too. I have PTSD. I did the CF a couple of years ago. On occasion I felt like I was going to totally freak out in the albergues, particularly when the beds were very close together, resembling a terrorist incident i went through in the 80’s in confined quarters. Sometimes I just had to get my stuff together as quietly as possible and sneak out the door in the dark as I knew no sleep was forthcoming. I can’t afford too many private rooms or hotels. I’m considering Camino number 2 next year as otherwise it was a life-changing experience on many levels. This time my thought is I wonder if I ask the hospitalieros if it would be ok for me to move to sleep in the common area or even outside on the patio if possible in the event this happens? Last time it didn’t tell anyone this was happening and just left. One time I couldn’t find an exterior door that wasn’t locked so I crawled out the window! I didn’t want to ask for special favors. It’s the one aspect that I dread and it may be a deal-breaker but otherwise I love the CF so much and would like to return. Has anyone else gone through this? Any suggestions?

 

[jsalt]

Hi, it's always good to know where the fire escape is in any building. You could always check where that is when you arrive (no need to give a reason – it will be assumed that you are worried about fires) and so know how to get out in the middle of the night if you want to.

 

[dick bird]

I hesitated to post this but maybe it will help someone else too. I have PTSD. I did the CF a couple of years ago. On occasion I felt like I was going to totally freak out in the albergues, particularly when the beds were very close together, resembling a terrorist incident i went through in the 80’s in confined quarters. Sometimes I just had to get my stuff together as quietly as possible and sneak out the door in the dark as I knew no sleep was forthcoming. I can’t afford too many private rooms or hotels. I’m considering Camino number 2 next year as otherwise it was a life-changing experience on many levels. This time my thought is I wonder if I ask the hospitalieros if it would be ok for me to move to sleep in the common area or even outside on the patio if possible in the event this happens? Last time it didn’t tell anyone this was happening and just left. One time I couldn’t find an exterior door that wasn’t locked so I crawled out the window! I didn’t want to ask for special favors. It’s the one aspect that I dread and it may be a deal-breaker but otherwise I love the CF so much and would like to return. Has anyone else gone through this? Any suggestions?

There’s no harm in asking. If you explain your needs, it’s up to the Hospi to say yes or no.

Locking external doors is an absolute no no. If a Hospi does it, report them.

 

[Ekelund]

I have met some hospitaleros who did not speak English, maybe you could have a letter in written in Spanish to explain your need. That is, if you do not speak Spanish of course.

 

[Birdchest]

I hesitated to post this but maybe it will help someone else too. I have PTSD. I did the CF a couple of years ago. On occasion I felt like I was going to totally freak out in the albergues, particularly when the beds were very close together, resembling a terrorist incident i went through in the 80’s in confined quarters. Sometimes I just had to get my stuff together as quietly as possible and sneak out the door in the dark as I knew no sleep was forthcoming. I can’t afford too many private rooms or hotels. I’m considering Camino number 2 next year as otherwise it was a life-changing experience on many levels. This time my thought is I wonder if I ask the hospitalieros if it would be ok for me to move to sleep in the common area or even outside on the patio if possible in the event this happens? Last time it didn’t tell anyone this was happening and just left. One time I couldn’t find an exterior door that wasn’t locked so I crawled out the window! I didn’t want to ask for special favors. It’s the one aspect that I dread and it may be a deal-breaker but otherwise I love the CF so much and would like to return. Has anyone else gone through this? Any suggestions?

I know the feeling. I sometimes get panic attacks and my overwhelming desire is to go outside and take in the air. It’s never happened to me on any of my three Caminos, but it did happen to me in the Camino Inka. In your circumstances I’d vote for the “talk to the hospitalero “ option.

 

[Kathy F.]

My son has PTSD and it is real and can be frightening. I’m so glad your drive to do another Camino is overcoming your fear of potential difficulties.

Please be gentle with yourself but do not underestimate your resilience.

Not everyone you encounter (as I'm sure you’ve already experienced) is kind and understanding. Some people are just a**holes.

But you will be guided, once again, by God and God’s graces to help you on this part of your journey (sorry if I’m getting churchy but this is where my heart is). Your travel will be full of amazing adventures and blessings, miracles (if you keep your eyes open for them) and angels.

Asking where the fire escapes are is a great idea! We should all do it. Note that, often, if you go out the door at night, you may not be able to get back in.

Of course, when God isn’t doing a great job of guiding you, just look for those yellow arrows.

Buen Camino, my friend.

 

[ian&linda]

Are you able to get some EMDR therapy for your PTSD before you commence the CF? If you know what your trauma is, EMDR can be beneficial and relatively short-term.

 

[starrysky]

thanks for your responses everyone. i think i’ve got it figured out somewhat and the overall joy of starting the process of going again outweighs the fear of the potential trouble spots but i’m sure i’ll do better handling them this time! buen camino all of you

 

[Katykay]

I hesitated to post this but maybe it will help someone else too. I have PTSD. I did the CF a couple of years ago. On occasion I felt like I was going to totally freak out in the albergues, particularly when the beds were very close together, resembling a terrorist incident i went through in the 80’s in confined quarters. Sometimes I just had to get my stuff together as quietly as possible and sneak out the door in the dark as I knew no sleep was forthcoming. I can’t afford too many private rooms or hotels. I’m considering Camino number 2 next year as otherwise it was a life-changing experience on many levels. This time my thought is I wonder if I ask the hospitalieros if it would be ok for me to move to sleep in the common area or even outside on the patio if possible in the event this happens? Last time it didn’t tell anyone this was happening and just left. One time I couldn’t find an exterior door that wasn’t locked so I crawled out the window! I didn’t want to ask for special favors. It’s the one aspect that I dread and it may be a deal-breaker but otherwise I love the CF so much and would like to return. Has anyone else gone through this? Any suggestions?

This is difficult I recommend, if you can, to talk to a therapist specialising in trauma for a plan specific to this situation. Or, if time, therapy to treat the trauma. Also, like other suggestions here, speak to hospitaleros about your specific requirements. If you have not been treated but know your triggers and you believe they can be avoided in Albergues then it is a matter of request. A diagnosed condition should be respected. A letter might help. Good luck.

 

[judydaisy]

Just a thought, in the UK many of the fire doors are alarmed. I'd look and make sure they don't in an albergue... Load of pilgrims might not be too happy at 2am with the alarm sounding. Best to check with hospitaleros, if you can, as suggested above.

 

[HBS60]

I can certainly empathize, as I myself have PTSD and I’ll be going on my very first Camino next month, so I understand the concerns. Not having Camino experience, I can’t really offer any specific suggestions, but since I’ve been working on my PTSD for many years now (and currently doing very well), I’ll offer some thoughts, which may or may not be helpful.

I think it’s helpful to have the awareness of what are your needs and your limits, ie, what is your level of distress tolerance, and to be able to communicate these to those that need to know. I imagine that things can certainly come up, but being that you already have done a Camino should help a lot as things may not catch you by surprise.

I don’t know how comfortable you feel sharing your diagnosis with hospitaleros, staff, etc, as these kinds of things do carry a stigma. I’m at a point in my process that I’m not ashamed of it but I limit my disclosure on a “need to know” basis (or, as in this case, to try to give helpful feedback and support).

I think it’s perfectly reasonable to ask for what you need, since otherwise they won’t know; however they may not necessarily be in a position to meet that need, so better to know that up front so you can decide to stay there anyway or look elsewhere.

It’s a learning process for us so afflicted, and for those around us, but I’m confident that you can get through whatever may happen.

May your Camino be a successful, enriching, healing experience!
Buen Camino!

 

[starrysky]

I can certainly empathize, as I myself have PTSD and I’ll be going on my very first Camino next month, so I understand the concerns. Not having Camino experience, I can’t really offer any specific suggestions, but since I’ve been working on my PTSD for many years now (and currently doing very well), I’ll offer some thoughts, which may or may not be helpful.

I think it’s helpful to have the awareness of what are your needs and your limits, ie, what is your level of distress tolerance, and to be able to communicate these to those that need to know. I imagine that things can certainly come up, but being that you already have done a Camino should help a lot as things may not catch you by surprise.

I don’t know how comfortable you feel sharing your diagnosis with hospitaleros, staff, etc, as these kinds of things do carry a stigma. I’m at a point in my process that I’m not ashamed of it but I limit my disclosure on a “need to know” basis (or, as in this case, to try to give helpful feedback and support).

I think it’s perfectly reasonable to ask for what you need, since otherwise they won’t know; however they may not necessarily be in a position to meet that need, so better to know that up front so you can decide to stay there anyway or look elsewhere.

It’s a learning process for us so afflicted, and for those around us, but I’m confident that you can get through whatever may happen.

May your Camino be a successful, enriching, healing experience!
Buen Camino!

thanks so much. i’m glad you are doing well! i am too overall. this situation only happened a handful of times in 40 days, but i think the note is a good idea just in case. overall i think i should be able to handle it better next time around. you are going to love it! buen camino to you as well xo

 

[williamlittig]

I hesitated to post this but maybe it will help someone else too. I have PTSD. I did the CF a couple of years ago. On occasion I felt like I was going to totally freak out in the albergues, particularly when the beds were very close together, resembling a terrorist incident i went through in the 80’s in confined quarters. Sometimes I just had to get my stuff together as quietly as possible and sneak out the door in the dark as I knew no sleep was forthcoming. I can’t afford too many private rooms or hotels. I’m considering Camino number 2 next year as otherwise it was a life-changing experience on many levels. This time my thought is I wonder if I ask the hospitalieros if it would be ok for me to move to sleep in the common area or even outside on the patio if possible in the event this happens? Last time it didn’t tell anyone this was happening and just left. One time I couldn’t find an exterior door that wasn’t locked so I crawled out the window! I didn’t want to ask for special favors. It’s the one aspect that I dread and it may be a deal-breaker but otherwise I love the CF so much and would like to return. Has anyone else gone through this? Any suggestions?

My diagnosis is "severe" the doctors said "you're doing quite well". The many caminos I've walked have helped me to rest and alert less. I have found waling 30's and being tired have helped. This last year I walked with other veterans some with more acute PTSD he too found it helped him, "Not cured"

 

[Tincatinker]

My “anniversary” is coming up. London 7 July 2005. Always a difficult day. I do use the tube these days but not that day. I made it into the office. Lots didn’t. Front desk security gave me a long look and then offered me a clothes-brush. One of my team went to get me a coffee and came back to report that Costa were closed. If Costa were closed then it was obvious. The world had changed.

I hate that for a while it made me hate. I regret that it’s still there in my head every time I’m on the tube, metro, any confined or crowded situation. I do the exercises. I can breathe with metronomic regularity and I can climb the steps to the exit and emerge into the sunlight or the rain without feeling like I need to run.

@starrysky you are not alone. You are never alone. And you never know but that bloke in that “too close” bunk just might be me or one of our brothers or sisters.

The lovely therapists always told me “talk about it”, but I don’t: except I just did, so thanks for that window

 

[starrysky]

My “anniversary” is coming up. London 7 July 2005. Always a difficult day. I do use the tube these days but not that day. I made it into the office. Lots didn’t. Front desk security gave me a long look and then offered me a clothes-brush. One of my team went to get me a coffee and came back to report that Costa were closed. If Costa were closed then it was obvious. The world had changed.

I hate that for a while it made me hate. I regret that it’s still there in my head every time I’m on the tube, metro, any confined or crowded situation. I do the exercises. I can breathe with metronomic regularity and I can climb the steps to the exit and emerge into the sunlight or the rain without feeling like I need to run.

@starrysky you are not alone. You are never alone. And you never know but that bloke in that “too close” bunk just might be me or one of our brothers or sisters.

The lovely therapists always told me “talk about it”, but I don’t: except I just did, so thanks for that window

thank you for telling us your story. i’m glad this topic can bring out what others have to say on it. yes- maybe that other bunk is a compatriot of this thing. yeah it’s hard to talk about it. thanks again for all you do on this forum too! buen camino.

 

[starrysky]

My diagnosis is "severe" the doctors said "you're doing quite well". The many caminos I've walked have helped me to rest and alert less. I have found waling 30's and being tired have helped. This last year I walked with other veterans some with more acute PTSD he too found it helped him, "Not cured"

thanks so much for telling about that. yeah it’s a bitch but i agree that being out on the camino is so wonderful it is definitely helpful but not necessarily a cure! buen camino to you!

 

[Dion]

There’s no harm in asking. If you explain your needs, it’s up to the Hospi to say yes or no.

Locking external doors is an absolute no no. If a Hospi does it,

I hesitated to post this but maybe it will help someone else too. I have PTSD. I did the CF a couple of years ago. On occasion I felt like I was going to totally freak out in the albergues, particularly when the beds were very close together, resembling a terrorist incident i went through in the 80’s in confined quarters. Sometimes I just had to get my stuff together as quietly as possible and sneak out the door in the dark as I knew no sleep was forthcoming. I can’t afford too many private rooms or hotels. I’m considering Camino number 2 next year as otherwise it was a life-changing experience on many levels. This time my thought is I wonder if I ask the hospitalieros if it would be ok for me to move to sleep in the common area or even outside on the patio if possible in the event this happens? Last time it didn’t tell anyone this was happening and just left. One time I couldn’t find an exterior door that wasn’t locked so I crawled out the window! I didn’t want to ask for special favors. It’s the one aspect that I dread and it may be a deal-breaker but otherwise I love the CF so much and would like to return. Has anyone else gone through this? Any suggestions?

From your past Camino,it’d be easier to avoid the similar situation by researching the room and bed types of each albergues,isn’t it?
From my experience,I didn’t like two bunk beds together in my first Camino so that I checked the albergues interior conditions by Gronze and Wise pilgrim app.
As a result I found several albergues I’d prefer to stay each places. It took me a long time to prepare but I had a good time when I get there.
Parhaps If I were you I’d wait to go until saving enough money to stay in the troubleless accommodations all the way in the case the good albergues are all full.
I think good preparation makes lots of time savings when you get there.
Buen Camino

 

[davejsy]

I am fortunate to not have PTSD, but I have had and still do have from time to time very bad anxiety (and probably several other things if I ever went to a shrink).

In a similar vein I was really worried about Albergues and the thought of getting in a panic and not been able to get out if needed, and of course everything else that could cause added anxiety in Albergues.

But, I was ok, in fact more than ok because I came to love the Albergues and everything they involved - even the bad bits. The thought was always far removed from the experience which is often the case for like minded people.

Anyway, I think there is a lot of good advice here for your circumstance. Look for the Albergues that are most appealing for your needs, and perhaps try and arrive early so you can choose your bed accordingly. I would also whole heartedly agree you have some text/letter that explains your situation, and asks the hospitelero to let you know where the exit is if you need to get out during the night - this alone will provide comfort and may help avert the need to leave.

Wishing you the very best on your Camino, and I hope it helps to continue you your healing.