Post Camino issues

[SoulDesire]

Hi. I hope to start my first Camino in September 2025. I was to have started in April this year but busted my foot during training.
My question to experienced members is about the degree of change and transformation that might occur as a result of the Camino experience. I have some lingering issues from a pretty dysfunctional childhood until I got married at 23. I am happily married for many years, but am concerned that a serious transformation might make me come home as a square peg in a round hole, and affect my relationship negatively.
Am I over thinking this? TIA.

 

[DoughnutANZ]

Yes

 

[thepacman]

G'day @SoulDesire. I see that you are a fellow Aussie, and so firstly let me say Buen Camino to you. You may well be overthinking it a bit, but others wiser than me can offer some words on this.

However you don't say where and how far you are walking, and this may be a determining factor. I say this because a 7 or 10 day walk is unlikely to be particularly transformational, whereas a 7 or 10 week walk might be. That said, I guess I wouldn't be setting out looking for (or hoping for or expecting) transformation, but rather just letting each day/week unfold as it does. I'm not nearly as experienced as some on this forum, but I have walked 4 Caminos now over almost 10 years, and each has been incredibly different (apart from the actual route). Geography/topography, circumstances, company, even the weather, all play a part in the experience. Some I enjoyed way more than others, but each allowed me pause to reflect on a whole range of matters, both immediate and more deep seated. In that regard each may have been transformational to some degree, and in most cases the transformation (reflection in my case) occurred a long time after the end of the actual walk.

I think that there's a lot that could be said about your question, but I won't rabbit on, but rather go back to my earlier point - don't necessarily go looking for anything, but just let the whole experience unfold in front of you, in the moment.

 

[Bradypus]

Marcel Proust started with a character dunking a piece of cake in his tea and managed to work that up into a seven volume novel over 3,000 pages long. Anything you experience might be transformative. Or not. I feel that you are overthinking this and already loading some very large expectations on to an event which is still well in your future.

 

[natefaith]

Hi @SoulDesire and thanks for sharing. I would say that if your time on the Camino helps you become a healthier person, it's a good thing. I need to find the actual description of the concept, but psychologists and Family Systems Theory experts have said that when one person becomes healthier in how they function, this health can affect the system (i.e. a marriage, family, or other group) in positive ways. The inverse is that when one person is functioning unheatlhily, this unhealthy behavior can affect the whole system.

So I'd say don't worry about coming back a square peg in a round hole. From what you shared above, you already know you're happily married, and if the Camino can help you reflect on things and become even more self-aware/ healthy internally, you may come home with a greater capacity to love, give to, and grow your marriage in healthy ways. The changes might still require some adjustment from both of you, of course, but hope you can relax and enjoy the entire journey and what will come - pre-Camino, on the Camino, and post-Camino .

Buen Camino!

 

[J Willhaus]

Our Caminos have enriched our lives and yes, we have changed quite a lot due to some Camino influences. None of this was overnight, but we were nudged along by reflecting after each experience.

We walk more now each week than we did 10 years ago. We have gotten rid of many of our material things and are quite content not to have a house and lots of furniture, etc. We volunteer regularly. I consider more carefully now whether I really need something or just want it. Just a few examples.

You'll only know how the Camino impacts you until later. Many people we meet were seeking answers to various questions and some found solutions while walking. Caminos just give you more time to slow down and think about things.