Please read very important question

[lt56ny]

Hello fellow Peregrinos, I would like to get advise for an important question I have. Let me first say I am an experienced Peregrino with 2 caminos walked, the first from SJPP to Finisterre and from about the second about 1/2 of the Le Puy Camino to Santiago. I will be walkign with a very good friend from college. We have been friends for 45 years.

A few years ago, he tragically lost his beautiful 29-year-old daughter. Details are not necessary. His family has been torn apart and on the verge of destruction. I have been talking to him about walking and now it looks like we will walk together in September. I told him that this is his Camino and I will be with him and walk with him as much as he desires. Whenever he wants to be alone or walk with others, I am completely fine with that and for as long as he wants. I know each Camino is different and each experience cannot not be predicted. I have been nagged by one thing that maybe I am making too much of and overthinking and so I ask for your advice. My friend wants to walk the Portuguese Camino. We will start in Lisbon about September 12 and (I believe it is near Porto) we will cut across and walk on the coast. I know that my friend will need time alone but he is also a very social person. I know also that the Camino gives us all what we need, not what we want, and I know that there are some remarkable people walking who will be there to lend active listening and love to a soul that has suffered the greatest injury possible. I was originally thinking of us walking the Frances or Norte. The last time I walked the Frances it was a little jarring after spending so much time on the Le Puy Camino and really enjoying the solitude of that walk. I started the Frances at the beginning of October but it was still very crowded and I often found it difficult to find solitude. I thought of the Camino Norte, I know that was is far less crowded but there is a richness to meeting and befriending the fantastic Peregrinos from around the world. Therefore, when he suggested Portugal I thought maybe this is right one. I have heard it can be very beautiful and even though it is the second busiest Camino, there is plenty of room for solitude. I don’t want to overthink this. I just love my friend very much and well I am sure you get the idea. So should I just not worry and do the Portuguese, and just relax and put one foot in front of the other? Any advice would be great even if it were just chill out! In another 2 years hopefully he and I and 5 other of our best friends will all walk together as a renewal of our friendship vows and direction for the next and most important life chapter.

 

[Dennis D]

Hello,

How lucky he is to have a friend like you. I am so sorry for his loss and wish that I had experience to share from the Portuguese Camino but I don't. But from what you have shared, it looks like you are on the right track. Take one step and one day at time. If you follow your heart you won't get lost.


Buen Camino

 

[jo webber]

Although I have not yet walked my Camino, I have lost a child.

If your friend wishes to walk the Portuguese, walk there. This is a walk for his heart, the land he walks matters not.

Please do not expect his Camino to heal his heart. It may, but the loss of a child never fully heals. Often families are torn apart, each grieving alone and unable to comfort the others. You can walk with him and love him as a friend, you can not lighten his burdens.

And just put one foot in front of the other.

 

[C clearly]

I am also sorry for his loss, and appreciate that you are willing to do whatever is necessary to help.

From your post, I was not sure whether you think the Portugues is too social or not social enough for him! That tells me that perhaps you are overthinking this!

The following words are lovely, but in my opinion they are an idealistic description of reality, and a statement of hope.

I know also that the Camino gives us all what we need, not what we want, and I know that there are some remarkable people walking who will be there to lend active listening and love to a soul that has suffered the greatest injury possible.

Since you asked for our opinions... I think you should ease off the heavy analysis and expectations, accept whatever inclination or whim your friend has, for deciding which route to walk, and then let it evolve.

 

[tillyjones]

You started by saying that it was his camino, and that he chose Portugal, and you would just be along for the ride, so I'm not clear why you are attempting to steer it otherwise. Whatever it is is exactly what it is supposed to be.

 

[Kiwi-family]

When we walked from Porto we happened upon a couple of guys who became great friends - one of them had recently lost his wife to suicide and he talked very candidly about this.
When we walked the Via de la Plata we frequently spent time with a guy whose husband had just died months before. Sharing dinner on the tenth anniversary of their marriage was a very poignant evening.
This limited experience would suggest the camino can be a great place for some people to grieve. This may be the case for your friend - or it may not be! You sound like a considerate caring friend -I'm sure you'll follow your friend's lead.

 

[MichaelB10398]

Hello fellow Peregrinos, I would like to get advise for an important question I have. Let me first say I am an experienced Peregrino with 2 caminos walked, the first from SJPP to Finisterre and from about the second about 1/2 of the Le Puy Camino to Santiago. I will be walkign with a very good friend from college. We have been friends for 45 years.

A few years ago, he tragically lost his beautiful 29-year-old daughter. Details are not necessary. His family has been torn apart and on the verge of destruction. I have been talking to him about walking and now it looks like we will walk together in September. I told him that this is his Camino and I will be with him and walk with him as much as he desires. Whenever he wants to be alone or walk with others, I am completely fine with that and for as long as he wants. I know each Camino is different and each experience cannot not be predicted. I have been nagged by one thing that maybe I am making too much of and overthinking and so I ask for your advice. My friend wants to walk the Portuguese Camino. We will start in Lisbon about September 12 and (I believe it is near Porto) we will cut across and walk on the coast. I know that my friend will need time alone but he is also a very social person. I know also that the Camino gives us all what we need, not what we want, and I know that there are some remarkable people walking who will be there to lend active listening and love to a soul that has suffered the greatest injury possible. I was originally thinking of us walking the Frances or Norte. The last time I walked the Frances it was a little jarring after spending so much time on the Le Puy Camino and really enjoying the solitude of that walk. I started the Frances at the beginning of October but it was still very crowded and I often found it difficult to find solitude. I thought of the Camino Norte, I know that was is far less crowded but there is a richness to meeting and befriending the fantastic Peregrinos from around the world. Therefore, when he suggested Portugal I thought maybe this is right one. I have heard it can be very beautiful and even though it is the second busiest Camino, there is plenty of room for solitude. I don’t want to overthink this. I just love my friend very much and well I am sure you get the idea. So should I just not worry and do the Portuguese, and just relax and put one foot in front of the other? Any advice would be great even if it were just chill out! In another 2 years hopefully he and I and 5 other of our best friends will all walk together as a renewal of our friendship vows and direction for the next and most important life chapter.

Dear pilgrim,
The reasons for grief in this life are as varied as there are individuals in the world. We lose children, parents, spouses, siblings, friends, marriages, relationships and the list goes on without end. We are left with hearts in pain and hurting. Your friend is obviously at a nexus in his life; the Camino may, I say may, be ideal for him.

Here are a few thoughts:

• Yes, you are over-thinking it. You cannot control his Camino. Give him advice and then let him choose. From that point forward you may facilitate his Camino, but if you attempt to control it there will be hurt feelings and dissatisfaction from all quarters.
• Don't have expectations for his Camino or create expectations for him. Expectations are simply another attempt to control the future - it never works.
• As Jo said above - "the land he walks matters not". Be at peace and allow the Camino to provide
• One suggestion that may be worthwhile is to encourage him to talk with his priest or spiritual adviser about his Camino with the objective of spiritually preparing for the Camino. Should he not be religious there are books written on the Camino that address this topic that may be an alternative.

May God bless you for the kindness you have shown your friend and may angels accompany both of you on the Camino. Relax, take a breath, greet the sun each morning, and look for beauty with each step. His Camino has already begun.

Buen Camino,

 

[KinkyOne]

Although I have not yet walked my Camino, I have lost a child.

If your friend wishes to walk the Portuguese, walk there. This is a walk for his heart, the land he walks matters not.

Please do not expect his Camino to heal his heart. It may, but the loss of a child never fully heals. Often families are torn apart, each grieving alone and unable to comfort the others. You can walk with him and love him as a friend, you can not lighten his burdens.

And just put one foot in front of the other.

Dear OP,

I think this is by far the best advice you'll ever get.
I'm not a parent but do have some nasty scars and none of them healed during my Caminos. Maybe it's just a bit more clear picture and that's it. I guess we just have to carry that (or any) burden till we change the address

Thanks for posting @jo webber

 

[Devon Mike]

Dear OP,

So sorry for your friend's loss, but he obviously has a truly sincere soulmate in you. The Portuguese would be a lovely choice, many of my Camino friends have walked it and I have never heard any bad things about it, and I will be there around the same time as you and your friend.

I have walked the Frances three times from SJPP to SdC, Finesterre and Muxia. This year I will be walking the Primitivo, Portuguese and Ingles starting in Oviedo on the 29th of August. After arriving in SdC I will take a bus to Lisbon to start the Portuguese on the 12th of September give or take a day or two, so we may well meet up which would be good. I plan to walk the main route to Porto then the coastal route including the Variante Espiritual which should get me back to SdC around the 11th of October for a bus to Ferrol and my final walk on the Ingles back to SdC before my journey home.

Very best wishes to you and your friend.

Mike

 

[NualaOC]

So should I just not worry and do the Portuguese, and just relax and put one foot in front of the other? Any advice would be great even if it were just chill out! In another 2 years hopefully he and I and 5 other of our best friends will all walk together as a renewal of our friendship vows and direction for the next and most important life chapter.

Your friend has chosen the CP and you have chosen to walk with him - so you really shouldn't second-guess that decision. Perhaps your jitters come from other questions or concerns about how things will work out? You seem to be trying very hard to do the right thing for your friend, which is very admirable. You're obviously good friends and as the experienced peregrino, you may feel a responsibility for helping him to have a positive and healing experience. That's when things can get tricky and where @jo webber 's beautiful post will keep you right:

Although I have not yet walked my Camino, I have lost a child.
If your friend wishes to walk the Portuguese, walk there. This is a walk for his heart, the land he walks matters not.
Please do not expect his Camino to heal his heart. It may, but the loss of a child never fully heals. Often families are torn apart, each grieving alone and unable to comfort the others. You can walk with him and love him as a friend, you can not lighten his burdens.
And just put one foot in front of the other.

This Camino is for both of you. You can't predict how it will work out, or if it will help your friend's healing. However, the simplicity of Camino life and the daily routing of walking in nature are wonderful gifts to share with a good friend. And hopefully you'll both be able to relax and have lots of fun - that's important too!

Buen Camino to you both.

 

[scott the farmer]

You are in a special and privaliged position .If he was walking for the first time on his own then the Frances would be best but he has a very experienced companion who will guide and save him from the pitfalls of the way. You can keep him on the route ,translate when needed ,help find suitable accomadation/food and be there when he wishes to talk. I don't think he could be in better hands good luck.

 

[naplesdon]

I too have lost a child. I have walked the Camino in memory of my daughter annually since her tragic death. I chose to walk alone. The CP is lovely and not as heavily trafficked as the CF. Ultreya from Peaceable Kingdom.

 

[bernhugo]

Just go with him.
Let him walk where he wants to walk, at his pace , he will let you know if he needs space.
As others have said---don't overthink it.
He will appreciate you more afterwards when he thinks back.
Good luck y buen camino.

 

[hecate105]

It is a beautiful route and plenty of space - even if after Porto it may get more crowded - i think before Porto you will have more solitude. A mixture may be good...
If you are leaving from Lisbon and want to cut across to the coast - how about starting at Sintra? It is a stunning place to visit and has oodles of history and beautiful gardens.(Quinta da Regaleira!) We started our Camino here (at the curious pillar in the square...) and worked our way over to Ericeira on the coast. There is a history of a coastal route ( a Portuguese Queen travelled this way) but it is not signed. Nazare is fantastic with its Black Madonna up on the cliff and there is mile after mile of white beaches, quite often with cobbled lanes behind. The scenery is stunning, fresh sardines at every turn and delicious vinho verde wine.
The terrain is varied with some big hills, but plenty of level walking too (or cycling as we did)
Not being on a signed route means you can't really go wrong and it is satisfying to hunt down clues to the Camino en route.

 

[poogeyejr]

I know the concerns that arise when planning vacation for another person. Things you wouldn't think about for your self become looming questions. I work with Make-A-Wish as a wish grantor, the children I hang out with are dealing with a lot. But they don't need me to manage their experience, just to facilitate it.

I think this may be similar. Give your camino knowledge generously, when asked, and have a wonderful time. Let your friend's internal journey worry about itself.

You can be alone in a crowd, or crowded by only 1 other person - do your best, the best you know how. It is all you can do!

Buen Camino

 

[DLJ]

Hello fellow Peregrinos, I would like to get advise for an important question I have. Let me first say I am an experienced Peregrino with 2 caminos walked, the first from SJPP to Finisterre and from about the second about 1/2 of the Le Puy Camino to Santiago. I will be walkign with a very good friend from college. We have been friends for 45 years.

A few years ago, he tragically lost his beautiful 29-year-old daughter. Details are not necessary. His family has been torn apart and on the verge of destruction. I have been talking to him about walking and now it looks like we will walk together in September. I told him that this is his Camino and I will be with him and walk with him as much as he desires. Whenever he wants to be alone or walk with others, I am completely fine with that and for as long as he wants. I know each Camino is different and each experience cannot not be predicted. I have been nagged by one thing that maybe I am making too much of and overthinking and so I ask for your advice. My friend wants to walk the Portuguese Camino. We will start in Lisbon about September 12 and (I believe it is near Porto) we will cut across and walk on the coast. I know that my friend will need time alone but he is also a very social person. I know also that the Camino gives us all what we need, not what we want, and I know that there are some remarkable people walking who will be there to lend active listening and love to a soul that has suffered the greatest injury possible. I was originally thinking of us walking the Frances or Norte. The last time I walked the Frances it was a little jarring after spending so much time on the Le Puy Camino and really enjoying the solitude of that walk. I started the Frances at the beginning of October but it was still very crowded and I often found it difficult to find solitude. I thought of the Camino Norte, I know that was is far less crowded but there is a richness to meeting and befriending the fantastic Peregrinos from around the world. Therefore, when he suggested Portugal I thought maybe this is right one. I have heard it can be very beautiful and even though it is the second busiest Camino, there is plenty of room for solitude. I don’t want to overthink this. I just love my friend very much and well I am sure you get the idea. So should I just not worry and do the Portuguese, and just relax and put one foot in front of the other? Any advice would be great even if it were just chill out! In another 2 years hopefully he and I and 5 other of our best friends will all walk together as a renewal of our friendship vows and direction for the next and most important life chapter.

My wife and I walked the Portuguese coastal route (Porto to Santiago) last year at the end of September. First, though Lisbon is in southern Portugal, and Porto is in the north; they are not close together. We met very few Pilgrims from Porto to the Spanish border, but at Tui (Spanish town at the border) is got much busier. Tui is the closest starting point to qualify for a Church credential, so this is a starting point for many tour groups and others, it is the equivalent to Sarria on the Camino Frances. That said it still provided at least half the time alone, the groups walk in little clusters. The long boardwalk along the Portuguese coast can be very contemplative; we only met one German couple along that whole portion. Brierly's guide was of no help on the coastal route; I asked about a better guide book at an info office, and was told I didn't need a guide, just keep the water (the ocean) on your left. The Portuguese coastal route should fulfill your needs - the Camino provides.

 

[cher99840]

I know the concerns that arise when planning vacation for another person. Things you wouldn't think about for your self become looming questions. I work with Make-A-Wish as a wish grantor, the children I hang out with are dealing with a lot. But they don't need me to manage their experience, just to facilitate it.

I think this may be similar. Give your camino knowledge generously, when asked, and have a wonderful time. Let your friend's internal journey worry about itself.

You can be alone in a crowd, or crowded by only 1 other person - do your best, the best you know how. It is all you can do!

Buen Camino

I know this is off topic, but thank you for all that you do. "Make A Wish" is a fantastic program.

 

[Micah26]

Fellow Traveler,
I became a widow at 41 with my love literally dying in my arms; We also had our only child die at nine days. Unexpected death confronts us with our mortality and meaning of life. It often stresses or breaks the web that weaves our families or friendships together.
You sound like a very caring person. First many people avoid friends and family after a death... they just don't know what to say... You are being a true friend offering to walk with him in this experience. Secondly, most likely just your presence is a blessing! The depth of grief can not necessarily be shared but to know someone is there can make all the difference! Third as stated above you can't control this pilgrimage but if he is still in the fog of grief doing some of the planning helping find a place to eat, stay, smoothing any difficulties with your knowledge and experience will be invaluable. Last know whether he talks specifically about his loss or not it doesn't matter. You have told him it's his Camino mention also you are fine with silence or talking- let him set the pace. I am sure with such a long and loving relationship your heart will guide you well!
Peace

 

[Elle Bieling]

It is a beautiful route and plenty of space - even if after Porto it may get more crowded - i think before Porto you will have more solitude. A mixture may be good...
If you are leaving from Lisbon and want to cut across to the coast - how about starting at Sintra? It is a stunning place to visit and has oodles of history and beautiful gardens.(Quinta da Regaleira!) We started our Camino here (at the curious pillar in the square...) and worked our way over to Ericeira on the coast. There is a history of a coastal route ( a Portuguese Queen travelled this way) but it is not signed. Nazare is fantastic with its Black Madonna up on the cliff and there is mile after mile of white beaches, quite often with cobbled lanes behind. The scenery is stunning, fresh sardines at every turn and delicious vinho verde wine.
The terrain is varied with some big hills, but plenty of level walking too (or cycling as we did)
Not being on a signed route means you can't really go wrong and it is satisfying to hunt down clues to the Camino en route.

@hecate105, I'd love to hear more about your coastal from Sintra to Porto. I have been to Sintra and it is indeed a fantastic place! Would it be suitable for walking? Do you have a blog about it or GPS files? Was time of year was it? Was it windy? What an adventurous person you are! I suppose you just kept the ocean to your left?

 

[hecate105]

Yes really! I didn't blog and all my photos got nicked (another camino story!) but we went early april and it was lovely , warm and sunny most of the time with a few torrential downpours... It is far less hilly than the inland route - and not so many busy roads. there were a few very steep hills but some days it was just flat all day.. There's amazing coastal scenery too - dunes, beaches, estuarys... A lot of the time we were on small lanes and tracks and just kept as close to the coast as possible. We used the old military maps of portugal which are ancient, but since not much has changed they were fine, i just coloured in new roads where we might meet them. If you look on viamichelin hybrid you can see the terrain well.
I still have the maps if you're interested!
We are off to Spain (on april 1st...!) to cycle the Via de Plata, so that should be another good adventure!

 

[Graham Greathead]

Hello fellow Peregrinos, I would like to get advise for an important question I have. Let me first say I am an experienced Peregrino with 2 caminos walked, the first from SJPP to Finisterre and from about the second about 1/2 of the Le Puy Camino to Santiago. I will be walkign with a very good friend from college. We have been friends for 45 years.

A few years ago, he tragically lost his beautiful 29-year-old daughter. Details are not necessary. His family has been torn apart and on the verge of destruction. I have been talking to him about walking and now it looks like we will walk together in September. I told him that this is his Camino and I will be with him and walk with him as much as he desires. Whenever he wants to be alone or walk with others, I am completely fine with that and for as long as he wants. I know each Camino is different and each experience cannot not be predicted. I have been nagged by one thing that maybe I am making too much of and overthinking and so I ask for your advice. My friend wants to walk the Portuguese Camino. We will start in Lisbon about September 12 and (I believe it is near Porto) we will cut across and walk on the coast. I know that my friend will need time alone but he is also a very social person. I know also that the Camino gives us all what we need, not what we want, and I know that there are some remarkable people walking who will be there to lend active listening and love to a soul that has suffered the greatest injury possible. I was originally thinking of us walking the Frances or Norte. The last time I walked the Frances it was a little jarring after spending so much time on the Le Puy Camino and really enjoying the solitude of that walk. I started the Frances at the beginning of October but it was still very crowded and I often found it difficult to find solitude. I thought of the Camino Norte, I know that was is far less crowded but there is a richness to meeting and befriending the fantastic Peregrinos from around the world. Therefore, when he suggested Portugal I thought maybe this is right one. I have heard it can be very beautiful and even though it is the second busiest Camino, there is plenty of room for solitude. I don’t want to overthink this. I just love my friend very much and well I am sure you get the idea. So should I just not worry and do the Portuguese, and just relax and put one foot in front of the other? Any advice would be great even if it were just chill out! In another 2 years hopefully he and I and 5 other of our best friends will all walk together as a renewal of our friendship vows and direction for the next and most important life chapter.

I have walked the Portuguese, twice starting in Porto both times, in 2013 taking the metro to Vila do Conde on the coast before turning inland and proceeding along the central route (through Valenca/Tui) to Santiago, and and last year I took the metro a bit further, to the end of the line at Povoa de Varzim and then following the coastal route.
This was quite interesting, but I was limited for time (and had some problems along the way) so I did not walk the whole way, but did complete the last 100 kms, after a bit of a hiccup with 15 still to go.
Either route would be good to walk for you, if you take them as they come and do not compare them with other routes you have walked. I think it is mistake to do this. All routes are different and in my experience good. I have also walked the French and parts of the del Norte and enjoyed them and one other you do not mention.
The Primitivo, starting in Oviedo is also worth considering, as the most 'primitive' of them all. The pilgrims on the route when I walked it (in 2014 at the age of 80) were generally younger and fitter than those on the other routes I have walked and I remember one young man from Ireland telling me that his girlfriend, who had walked several times on different routes had told him that "if he only walked one route, then he should make sure that it was the Primitivo".
When I reached Santiago (in 2014) after walking the Primitivo, I still had 3 nights I could spend out on the way and a friend of mine back home persuaded me to walkon to Finisterre (I had thought to bus there and back) and this was for me a very good ending to my walk that year. Best of luck with whatever you choose to walk. H Graham Greathead (Hermanus, South Africa).

 

[Francis Terrance]

Hello fellow Peregrinos, I would like to get advise for an important question I have. Let me first say I am an experienced Peregrino with 2 caminos walked, the first from SJPP to Finisterre and from about the second about 1/2 of the Le Puy Camino to Santiago. I will be walkign with a very good friend from college. We have been friends for 45 years.

A few years ago, he tragically lost his beautiful 29-year-old daughter. Details are not necessary. His family has been torn apart and on the verge of destruction. I have been talking to him about walking and now it looks like we will walk together in September. I told him that this is his Camino and I will be with him and walk with him as much as he desires. Whenever he wants to be alone or walk with others, I am completely fine with that and for as long as he wants. I know each Camino is different and each experience cannot not be predicted. I have been nagged by one thing that maybe I am making too much of and overthinking and so I ask for your advice. My friend wants to walk the Portuguese Camino. We will start in Lisbon about September 12 and (I believe it is near Porto) we will cut across and walk on the coast. I know that my friend will need time alone but he is also a very social person. I know also that the Camino gives us all what we need, not what we want, and I know that there are some remarkable people walking who will be there to lend active listening and love to a soul that has suffered the greatest injury possible. I was originally thinking of us walking the Frances or Norte. The last time I walked the Frances it was a little jarring after spending so much time on the Le Puy Camino and really enjoying the solitude of that walk. I started the Frances at the beginning of October but it was still very crowded and I often found it difficult to find solitude. I thought of the Camino Norte, I know that was is far less crowded but there is a richness to meeting and befriending the fantastic Peregrinos from around the world. Therefore, when he suggested Portugal I thought maybe this is right one. I have heard it can be very beautiful and even though it is the second busiest Camino, there is plenty of room for solitude. I don’t want to overthink this. I just love my friend very much and well I am sure you get the idea. So should I just not worry and do the Portuguese, and just relax and put one foot in front of the other? Any advice would be great even if it were just chill out! In another 2 years hopefully he and I and 5 other of our best friends will all walk together as a renewal of our friendship vows and direction for the next and most important life chapter.

 

[BryanandJoan]

I have only read your opening post which shows you are obviously a caring soul, the problem is you cannot say
"I know how you feel,"because you don't. To be fair even when people who have also suffered a loss say it often the recently bereaved don't believe it. From your post it is obvious that you are a bit frustrated because your natural inclination is to make him feel better, and hopefully you can.

At this point perhaps I should list why I feel able to comment. We lost our beautiful daughter when she was two and a half. At the time I had to carry on because I had a lovely wife and young son who needed me. Twenty three years later my little nieces were climbing all over me at a party, it suddenly hit me and I cried uncontrollably for hours, thank God my wife was there and understood. Then at the age of forty eight my wife suddenly dropped dead. At that time two work colleagues who had suffered loss tried to comfort me and I was quite rude. (I later apologised, I hasten to add.).

So enough of me, to help your friend you need to get him to understand his anger and guilt. I bet that sounds strange.
You will however find he is guilty because he is angry with how his Daughter died and angry with her for dying, angry with life and with God. All of this makes him feel guilty. Also because he is so sad and in deep despair he is guilty every time he smiles or finds anything pleasant or amusing, and heaven forbid he should actually laugh!

You may think I am talking rubbish but I assure you this is a tried and tested formula for helping friends back to life, and finally assure him he will never ever forget her but in time it won't hurt quite so much.

Very Sincerely Bryan

 

[Shushy]

Hello fellow Peregrinos, I would like to get advise for an important question I have. Let me first say I am an experienced Peregrino with 2 caminos walked, the first from SJPP to Finisterre and from about the second about 1/2 of the Le Puy Camino to Santiago. I will be walkign with a very good friend from college. We have been friends for 45 years.

A few years ago, he tragically lost his beautiful 29-year-old daughter. Details are not necessary. His family has been torn apart and on the verge of destruction. I have been talking to him about walking and now it looks like we will walk together in September. I told him that this is his Camino and I will be with him and walk with him as much as he desires. Whenever he wants to be alone or walk with others, I am completely fine with that and for as long as he wants. I know each Camino is different and each experience cannot not be predicted. I have been nagged by one thing that maybe I am making too much of and overthinking and so I ask for your advice. My friend wants to walk the Portuguese Camino. We will start in Lisbon about September 12 and (I believe it is near Porto) we will cut across and walk on the coast. I know that my friend will need time alone but he is also a very social person. I know also that the Camino gives us all what we need, not what we want, and I know that there are some remarkable people walking who will be there to lend active listening and love to a soul that has suffered the greatest injury possible. I was originally thinking of us walking the Frances or Norte. The last time I walked the Frances it was a little jarring after spending so much time on the Le Puy Camino and really enjoying the solitude of that walk. I started the Frances at the beginning of October but it was still very crowded and I often found it difficult to find solitude. I thought of the Camino Norte, I know that was is far less crowded but there is a richness to meeting and befriending the fantastic Peregrinos from around the world. Therefore, when he suggested Portugal I thought maybe this is right one. I have heard it can be very beautiful and even though it is the second busiest Camino, there is plenty of room for solitude. I don’t want to overthink this. I just love my friend very much and well I am sure you get the idea. So should I just not worry and do the Portuguese, and just relax and put one foot in front of the other? Any advice would be great even if it were just chill out! In another 2 years hopefully he and I and 5 other of our best friends will all walk together as a renewal of our friendship vows and direction for the next and most important life chapter.

My husband and I walked the Portuguese Camino in June 2016 but we left from Santarem as we were told that the first three days out of Lisbon where not good in terms of traffic and roads. I wrote a daily blog: ourwayportuguesecaminho.wordpress.com which you may find interesting. We found the walk wonderful, hard in that the distances particularly before Porto where very long, but we never saw many people which we enjoyed. Plenty of time to think and be by ourselves but enjoyed the company of others at times. I think what you are doing with your friend will be very meaningful for both of you and I hope if you get to read my blog, it may inspire you. Bon Camino!!!

 

[Playful Dread]

Not being on a signed route means you can't really go wrong and it is satisfying to hunt down clues to the Camino en route.

The 'fun and games' I had trying to find a short cut across the harbour in Viana Do Castello walking back down the coastal route. I must of walked through the centre at least 3 times (with detours out to the lighthouse and onto the sands at the mouth of the estuary) before I realised there was a bridge further inland. I'd looked at it earlier on my first passing through the centre of town but thought it was too far away in the distance to be THE route I needed. I should of realised from experience that sometimes there just are NO shortcuts. (in life as well!)

I'm walking the coastal route (North!) again this year and I'm taking your advice and walking from Sintra to Porto and onwards along the coast as best we can inclusive of the Spiritual Way on leaving Pontevedra. Any further tips would be greatly appreciated!

Bom Caminho!

 

[Graham Greathead]

My wife and I walked the Portuguese coastal route (Porto to Santiago) last year at the end of September. First, though Lisbon is in southern Portugal, and Porto is in the north; they are not close together. We met very few Pilgrims from Porto to the Spanish border, but at Tui (Spanish town at the border) is got much busier. Tui is the closest starting point to qualify for a Church credential, so this is a starting point for many tour groups and others, it is the equivalent to Sarria on the Camino Frances. That said it still provided at least half the time alone, the groups walk in little clusters. The long boardwalk along the Portuguese coast can be very contemplative; we only met one German couple along that whole portion. Brierly's guide was of no help on the coastal route; I asked about a better guide book at an info office, and was told I didn't need a guide, just keep the water (the ocean) on your left. The Portuguese coastal route should fulfill your needs - the Camino provides.View attachment 32098 View attachment 32099 View attachment 32100

I walked the Portuguese Camino from Porto in 2013, crossing from Valena in Portugal to Tui in Spain, which is the closest starting point on the 'inland' route as you say. John Brierley's 2016 Guidebook on the Camino Portuguese (ISBN 978-1-84409-681-7) is the first one that I have seen that has details of the coastal route from Porto, where one crosses from Caminha in Portugal to A Guarda in Spain while still on the coast and a distance of about 160 kms from Santiago. So the closest starting point to qualify for a credential on this route is at Vigo. 100 kms from Santiago and the coastal route rejoins the inland route at Redondela. There are seven maps (15a to 21a) at the back of the 2016 guidebook that give details of the coastal route from Vila do Conde to Redondela. Having walked the coastal route in May 2016,starting at Povoa Varzin, on the coast north of Porto, (not without problems, I had limited time and left the coastal route after Viana do Costelo, crossed into Spain at Tui, before going back to Baiona by bus and to Soremna, on the section between Mougas to Baioina, on foot along the coastal road, but this is another story). There is, however, one piece of advice I wish to offer, regarding the section Mougas to Baiona:- After a night at the Soremna hotel I started walking back towards Baiona (and Santiago) and this time took the Camino path. The camino runs along the coastal road for some while before deviating up the mountain to the right, to cross a saddle and proceed down into the outlying suburbs of Baiona. There had been a lot of rain and pilgrims were apparently avoiding walking on the way- marked route across the mountain saddle, because of reported muddy conditions. As I was approaching the top (and a very deep muddy section of the route) I met a friendly goatherd, with his flock of sheep and goats, and he directed me to a path going of at an angle over a rocky patch to the left of the camino along a track which was muddy but not impassable. If you are going to walk this route and have Brierley's guidebook (2016 or later) turn to diagram 19a and, where alto 170m is shown mark a wet-weather deviation to the left (about 1/2 cm in length at map scale).