Non-denominational spiritual support requested...

[simply B]

Long story short....

A friend of almost 50 years AND a pilgrim like the rest of us (though not a Forum member) called me the other night to request that I help him settle into hospice care in a few days time.

What else can you say but "Sure, it would be an honor and a privilege."

I humbly request the spiritual assistance of whatever type the community here can offer. He, his family, and I could use the support. I thank you in advance for your help!

Yeah...this is a pretty "heavy" post and potentially exploitative of emotions. No "pity party" is required, I assure you! I am just looking to harness some of the very positive energy so often evident here.

I will try to negate the "heaviness" of the post with a couple humorous points from our Caminos together.

1) My friend got the calling to walk the Camino a few years after being diagnosed with an early dementia. His lovely bride was at wits end as to how to satisfy the call. Knowing that I had already been, she called for suggestions. "Well, heck, I'll take him!"

A few months later on the Camino, I come out from laundry duties (Santo Domingo) to find him talking to a table of folks about his dementia and the attendant challenges and why he has a sidekick. (Yeah, I groaned.)

But you know how that 'pilgrim telegraph' works, right? Two nights later, a very nice young lady tells me over a menu that she is sorry for my diagnosis and what a great friend I have. Color me confused for a moment... "Oh", I say, "he is the one with dementia...I am just 'on the spectrum' as they say as well as a committed introvert."

"Huh", says she, "he just seems so normal compared to you!" (Ouch!)


2) Villefranca del Bierzo at the Hotel Mendez (no albergue beds available) - we go down to dinner in their nice resto. A couple of Italian ladies we had met earlier asked if they could join us. "Sure!"

At this time, my friend had been married for 32 years and I for 36. While settling into dessert, one of the ladies asked how we chose our wedding rings. My friend relates how he and his bride got theirs and then I relate my story. Confusion appears on their faces - "Uh, hold on...we heard you were a gay couple from 'un-named country!'"

Even with dementia, my buddy doesn't miss a beat - - "Why did you think we were from THAT country?" - - and we all broke up. (Maybe you had to be there. )


So, yeah, there's stress and sorrow...but I am pretty sure the regrets are rather small. Many of you, like me, have already been down this road a number of times. I am just looking for an extra bump of energy for any of the participants when reserves have been exhausted.

Again, my thanks for whatever you can offer.

B

 

[Dani7]

You are the definition of friendship with your actions and support throughout the good and the sad. I have accompanied two people very dear to me through the end of their journey. You said the absolute right thing. It is an honour and a privilege. You are stronger than you think. Your friend chose you because he knows you are able to do it and would do it. Love stays strong through all of life when we stay connected no matter what. To both of you a heartfelt hug. I shall keep you in my thoughts and hope that peace comes with knowing that all the good moments you’ve shared together will always remain and friendship never dies. Not even after our last breath on this earth. BIG hug

 

[dougfitz]

My thoughts are with you and your friend.

 

[Derrybiketours]

Amazing post and as you so eloquently pointed out, an amazing privilege and I think what your doing is exactly what many of us say that we would or could do but when tested Im not so sure so hats off to you Pilgrim. Recently I've been on my own journey with my Mother who has had no less than three separate occasions whereby a priest had offered her last rights and only recently has been battling and winning against cancer. On my Camino last year I experienced my own spiritual awakening and on the mount of forgiveness my sister walked with me and towards the end appeared to me in the form of a purple fabric. My sister Sinead died as a baby, I never got to meet her but my faith in man-made religion has almost departed but my faith in a spiritual dimension made up of loved ones who have passed over has entered my life. I don't prescribe to any particular religion although brought up as a Roman Catholic I now believe that there is a higher level of intelligence but I don't pretend to put a label on it. My sister and all those family and friends who have passed over or on I prefer to think that they all guide, guard and love me. I didn't lose a sister, I gained a guardian angel. I begin my walk again on Saturday and you, your friend and his family will be in my intentions. I recently downloaded a book that might be of interest to you both. @simply B stay positive, simply B-ing there is enough

 

[sugargypsy]

What else can you say but "Sure, it would be an honor and a privilege."

You said exactly what was appropriate at this moment. He is / "was"? your friend?

I'd ever be so proud to call you my friend!*



*I did not find a nice flower to add as a smiley, I'd have loved to add it to my post!

 

[nycwalking]

Dementia is not nice.

All you can do is pray to whatever power you wish and continue to walk the way with your friend.

Bless him, his family, and you.

Buen camino.

 

[VNwalking]

@simply B , heartfelt well-wishing to him, to you, to his family.
As @nycwalking just said...dementia is so difficult, on so many levels.
I'll be thinking of you all in the days to come.
All blessings for accompanying your friend on his last pilgrimage in this life.

 

[Anamya]

Hey, sending all the good vibes for your friend and yourself.

What an honour, for both of you, to have such a strong friendship

 

[Blintintin]

I think your sensitivity, humor and loyalty, apparent in your post, will serve you perfectly in attending to your friend. I hope you find peace in sharing this next journey together.

 

[chinacat]

I have been awestruck and humbled by the degree of awareness of the spirit that still shines, even in the latter stages of dementia, in those who lived with an active and conscious relationship with the spiritual/higher worlds.

A candle for you both, @simply B .

 

[Kiwi-family]

One wonderful thing about dementia is you're going to have plenty of opportunities to relive those funny stories and they'll be as hilarious every time as if they were the first retelling. Enjoy your walks down memory lane.

 

[Former member 49149]

B, thanks for asking us all. Count on a place on my list of people to be specially aware of, and there when I light my candle in the mornings.

 

[simply B]

Thank you all for your wonderful support. It is sincerely appreciated.

B

 

[Machelle]

Dementia is such a difficult road to walk. I pray that God holds both you and your friend in his arms and comforts and supports both of you in your need. I will keep you in my prayers.

M

 

[JohnMcM]

Special friendships such as yours are born out of special people. I believe a part of loving and being loved is a gift, as is the friendship you two have. Hold fast to the birth of your friendship, it may be a comfort in days yet to come.

 

[KinkyOne]

I've been through my grandmothers dementia. Now I'm experiencing it for the second time with my father. It's a hard thing to deal with because for example a child gives you more and more every day but a person with dementia gives less and less everyday.
Stay strong @simply B because you are about to do something extremely hard but positive!
You will be both in my thoughts.

 

[Tincatinker]

I've burned some herb and I've spilt some wine. Not much else I can do but send you both my hope for a gentle road.

 

[Marc S.]

What a coincidence to read yor post, as I have just returned from a meeting with the home care nurse of my dear mum (who has Alzheimer), in which we concluded that my mum will probably have to move to a nursing home in the near future. Caring for mum is probably the most intense experience of my life, as it is partly about slowly saying goodbye to the person I knew, and realizing that (when mum is angry or rude) it is not really my mum acting this way, but it is Mr. Alzheimer. Yet - despite the frustrations and witnessing my mum in some painful situations - my bond with my mum during the last 3 years has been very intense and there are so many wonderful memories. I always compare dementia with a big fog taking over my mum's brain slowly and steadily, but yet the sun always breaks through for some moments. I hope you and your friend will remain to see the beauty of these sunrays - it is all you can do.

 

[IngridF]

Light and Love to you and your friend. You are both blessed.

 

[Rick of Rick and Peg]

So, yeah, there's stress and sorrow...but I am pretty sure the regrets are rather small. Many of you, like me, have already been down this road a number of times. I am just looking for an extra bump of energy for any of the participants when reserves have been exhausted.

Again, my thanks for whatever you can offer.

Inappropriately I wanted to "like" your post with a laugh for the humor portion of it. By quoting the portion above where you are looking for a bump of energy it may be more appropriate. Remember the fun (and funny times) and talk about them. The laughs should help you get through the sad times.

 

[Deleted member 59555]

Long story short....

A friend of almost 50 years AND a pilgrim like the rest of us (though not a Forum member) called me the other night to request that I help him settle into hospice care in a few days time.

What else can you say but "Sure, it would be an honor and a privilege."

I humbly request the spiritual assistance of whatever type the community here can offer. He, his family, and I could use the support. I thank you in advance for your help!

Yeah...this is a pretty "heavy" post and potentially exploitative of emotions. No "pity party" is required, I assure you! I am just looking to harness some of the very positive energy so often evident here.

I will try to negate the "heaviness" of the post with a couple humorous points from our Caminos together.

1) My friend got the calling to walk the Camino a few years after being diagnosed with an early dementia. His lovely bride was at wits end as to how to satisfy the call. Knowing that I had already been, she called for suggestions. "Well, heck, I'll take him!"

A few months later on the Camino, I come out from laundry duties (Santo Domingo) to find him talking to a table of folks about his dementia and the attendant challenges and why he has a sidekick. (Yeah, I groaned.)

But you know how that 'pilgrim telegraph' works, right? Two nights later, a very nice young lady tells me over a menu that she is sorry for my diagnosis and what a great friend I have. Color me confused for a moment... "Oh", I say, "he is the one with dementia...I am just 'on the spectrum' as they say as well as a committed introvert."

"Huh", says she, "he just seems so normal compared to you!" (Ouch!)


2) Villefranca del Bierzo at the Hotel Mendez (no albergue beds available) - we go down to dinner in their nice resto. A couple of Italian ladies we had met earlier asked if they could join us. "Sure!"

At this time, my friend had been married for 32 years and I for 36. While settling into dessert, one of the ladies asked how we chose our wedding rings. My friend relates how he and his bride got theirs and then I relate my story. Confusion appears on their faces - "Uh, hold on...we heard you were a gay couple from 'un-named country!'"

Even with dementia, my buddy doesn't miss a beat - - "Why did you think we were from THAT country?" - - and we all broke up. (Maybe you had to be there. )


So, yeah, there's stress and sorrow...but I am pretty sure the regrets are rather small. Many of you, like me, have already been down this road a number of times. I am just looking for an extra bump of energy for any of the participants when reserves have been exhausted.

Again, my thanks for whatever you can offer.

B

.

Long story short....

A friend of almost 50 years AND a pilgrim like the rest of us (though not a Forum member) called me the other night to request that I help him settle into hospice care in a few days time.

What else can you say but "Sure, it would be an honor and a privilege."

I humbly request the spiritual assistance of whatever type the community here can offer. He, his family, and I could use the support. I thank you in advance for your help!

Yeah...this is a pretty "heavy" post and potentially exploitative of emotions. No "pity party" is required, I assure you! I am just looking to harness some of the very positive energy so often evident here.

I will try to negate the "heaviness" of the post with a couple humorous points from our Caminos together.

1) My friend got the calling to walk the Camino a few years after being diagnosed with an early dementia. His lovely bride was at wits end as to how to satisfy the call. Knowing that I had already been, she called for suggestions. "Well, heck, I'll take him!"

A few months later on the Camino, I come out from laundry duties (Santo Domingo) to find him talking to a table of folks about his dementia and the attendant challenges and why he has a sidekick. (Yeah, I groaned.)

But you know how that 'pilgrim telegraph' works, right? Two nights later, a very nice young lady tells me over a menu that she is sorry for my diagnosis and what a great friend I have. Color me confused for a moment... "Oh", I say, "he is the one with dementia...I am just 'on the spectrum' as they say as well as a committed introvert."

"Huh", says she, "he just seems so normal compared to you!" (Ouch!)


2) Villefranca del Bierzo at the Hotel Mendez (no albergue beds available) - we go down to dinner in their nice resto. A couple of Italian ladies we had met earlier asked if they could join us. "Sure!"

At this time, my friend had been married for 32 years and I for 36. While settling into dessert, one of the ladies asked how we chose our wedding rings. My friend relates how he and his bride got theirs and then I relate my story. Confusion appears on their faces - "Uh, hold on...we heard you were a gay couple from 'un-named country!'"

Even with dementia, my buddy doesn't miss a beat - - "Why did you think we were from THAT country?" - - and we all broke up. (Maybe you had to be there. )


So, yeah, there's stress and sorrow...but I am pretty sure the regrets are rather small. Many of you, like me, have already been down this road a number of times. I am just looking for an extra bump of energy for any of the participants when reserves have been exhausted.

Again, my thanks for whatever you can offer.

B

I am not going down the so sorry street on this one .Yes I am sorry. The tears have stopped now I can do some bloody typing. YOU have been chosen to help this person it is going to be a big job but then you are a big boy now. Do a good job and the person that gave you this job will remember you. Since walking three camino's I feel we are all one large family we all earn't this right the minuet we embarked on our first day of the walk.
The Camino changed my life and I suggest through your words it did the same for you. It is time to use your new skills that you and all of us learnt on the Camino.
I suggest you click on my T and look at my previous posts to see where I have come from. Where spirituality is concerned.
Good luck with your new job I know your boss he is always employs the right people.
All my love. And above all God bless.

 

[williamlittig]

Long story short....

A friend of almost 50 years AND a pilgrim like the rest of us (though not a Forum member) called me the other night to request that I help him settle into hospice care in a few days time.

What else can you say but "Sure, it would be an honor and a privilege."

I humbly request the spiritual assistance of whatever type the community here can offer. He, his family, and I could use the support. I thank you in advance for your help!

Yeah...this is a pretty "heavy" post and potentially exploitative of emotions. No "pity party" is required, I assure you! I am just looking to harness some of the very positive energy so often evident here.

I will try to negate the "heaviness" of the post with a couple humorous points from our Caminos together.

1) My friend got the calling to walk the Camino a few years after being diagnosed with an early dementia. His lovely bride was at wits end as to how to satisfy the call. Knowing that I had already been, she called for suggestions. "Well, heck, I'll take him!"

A few months later on the Camino, I come out from laundry duties (Santo Domingo) to find him talking to a table of folks about his dementia and the attendant challenges and why he has a sidekick. (Yeah, I groaned.)

But you know how that 'pilgrim telegraph' works, right? Two nights later, a very nice young lady tells me over a menu that she is sorry for my diagnosis and what a great friend I have. Color me confused for a moment... "Oh", I say, "he is the one with dementia...I am just 'on the spectrum' as they say as well as a committed introvert."

"Huh", says she, "he just seems so normal compared to you!" (Ouch!)


2) Villefranca del Bierzo at the Hotel Mendez (no albergue beds available) - we go down to dinner in their nice resto. A couple of Italian ladies we had met earlier asked if they could join us. "Sure!"

At this time, my friend had been married for 32 years and I for 36. While settling into dessert, one of the ladies asked how we chose our wedding rings. My friend relates how he and his bride got theirs and then I relate my story. Confusion appears on their faces - "Uh, hold on...we heard you were a gay couple from 'un-named country!'"

Even with dementia, my buddy doesn't miss a beat - - "Why did you think we were from THAT country?" - - and we all broke up. (Maybe you had to be there. )


So, yeah, there's stress and sorrow...but I am pretty sure the regrets are rather small. Many of you, like me, have already been down this road a number of times. I am just looking for an extra bump of energy for any of the participants when reserves have been exhausted.

Again, my thanks for whatever you can offer.

B

Contact Pilgrim House in Santiago they can help you.

 

[Nathen]

Long story short....

A friend of almost 50 years AND a pilgrim like the rest of us (though not a Forum member) called me the other night to request that I help him settle into hospice care in a few days time.

What else can you say but "Sure, it would be an honor and a privilege."

I humbly request the spiritual assistance of whatever type the community here can offer. He, his family, and I could use the support. I thank you in advance for your help!

Yeah...this is a pretty "heavy" post and potentially exploitative of emotions. No "pity party" is required, I assure you! I am just looking to harness some of the very positive energy so often evident here.

I will try to negate the "heaviness" of the post with a couple humorous points from our Caminos together.

1) My friend got the calling to walk the Camino a few years after being diagnosed with an early dementia. His lovely bride was at wits end as to how to satisfy the call. Knowing that I had already been, she called for suggestions. "Well, heck, I'll take him!"

A few months later on the Camino, I come out from laundry duties (Santo Domingo) to find him talking to a table of folks about his dementia and the attendant challenges and why he has a sidekick. (Yeah, I groaned.)

But you know how that 'pilgrim telegraph' works, right? Two nights later, a very nice young lady tells me over a menu that she is sorry for my diagnosis and what a great friend I have. Color me confused for a moment... "Oh", I say, "he is the one with dementia...I am just 'on the spectrum' as they say as well as a committed introvert."

"Huh", says she, "he just seems so normal compared to you!" (Ouch!)


2) Villefranca del Bierzo at the Hotel Mendez (no albergue beds available) - we go down to dinner in their nice resto. A couple of Italian ladies we had met earlier asked if they could join us. "Sure!"

At this time, my friend had been married for 32 years and I for 36. While settling into dessert, one of the ladies asked how we chose our wedding rings. My friend relates how he and his bride got theirs and then I relate my story. Confusion appears on their faces - "Uh, hold on...we heard you were a gay couple from 'un-named country!'"

Even with dementia, my buddy doesn't miss a beat - - "Why did you think we were from THAT country?" - - and we all broke up. (Maybe you had to be there. )


So, yeah, there's stress and sorrow...but I am pretty sure the regrets are rather small. Many of you, like me, have already been down this road a number of times. I am just looking for an extra bump of energy for any of the participants when reserves have been exhausted.

Again, my thanks for whatever you can offer.

B

Happy to be one of many to honour your request, simplyB. As I continue my 1st Camino trek (I’m now in Leon), I’ll carry you and your friend in my heart.

 

[laineylainey]

Amazing post and as you so eloquently pointed out, an amazing privilege and I think what your doing is exactly what many of us say that we would or could do but when tested Im not so sure so hats off to you Pilgrim. Recently I've been on my own journey with my Mother who has had no less than three separate occasions whereby a priest had offered her last rights and only recently has been battling and winning against cancer. On my Camino last year I experienced my own spiritual awakening and on the mount of forgiveness my sister walked with me and towards the end appeared to me in the form of a purple fabric. My sister Sinead died as a baby, I never got to meet her but my faith in man-made religion has almost departed but my faith in a spiritual dimension made up of loved ones who have passed over has entered my life. I don't prescribe to any particular religion although brought up as a Roman Catholic I now believe that there is a higher level of intelligence but I don't pretend to put a label on it. My sister and all those family and friends who have passed over or on I prefer to think that they all guide, guard and love me. I didn't lose a sister, I gained a guardian angel. I begin my walk again on Saturday and you, your friend and his family will be in my intentions. I recently downloaded a book that might be of interest to you both. @simply B stay positive, simply B-ing there is enough

Fabulous post bless you

 

[WayWalker]

We all walk slowly behind your friend. Some of us quicker than others. I have to know our spirits journey on and we will all meet again. Rest easy fellow peregrinos. St. James has got our backs. Grace to you and his family at this time.

 

[Wokabaut_Meri]

You and your friend are travelling your last Camino together.

I can understand why he chose you to accompany him. Your companionship has already proved a strength and support for him and enabled him to achieve a calling. It is both a great honour and responsibility and a journey that I have travelled several times now.

Your experiences will be much the same as a Camino - only intensified. You will laugh and cry and have many moments of joy and despair. You will love him and be frustrated by him in equal measure. As I quoted on this forum only recently:
You learn something about yourself very quickly that otherwise might take an entire lifetime to learn.

Take good care of yourself but then you’re doing that already by reaching out and sharing your journey.

And, as on any Camino, it is the journey and not the destination that will matter and remain with you.

I wish you both a Buen Camino.

Go Well and, as on any Camino, your Forum compañeros will be here for you.

 

[simply B]

My 'Camigo" and I are both overwhelmed by the generosity of spirit here on the Forum! We thank you (he wanted to make sure that it was "WE") for your support. My friend was overcome to find that the community of pilgrims was in his corner.

I have just returned home from the bittersweet task set before me and, while my heart is full, my brain is empty. I will just say that the time and tasks set before us were accomplished in finest style and to a level of satisfaction for which we could not have hoped in our most extreme expectations.

Thank you all, you are the best!

B

Mods - your discretion as to lock this thread. I won't be back and am a bit embarrassed by a bunch of reactions from a simple plea for help.

 

[chinacat]

@simply B

How good to hear that it went well for both of you.

This is a true community .. albeit an online forum ...

We are so diverse in our cultures, beliefs, outlooks, languages, origins, temperaments ... in so many ways ....
.. but we share an abiding respect for all who walk, wish/want/intend to walk, will walk, have walked ... on Camino.
Most of us share a love and a sense of belonging to a community that exists in our hearts.

You and your friend are part of ‘here’ ... of ‘us’ ... as are we all ... isn’t it wonderful to be able to reach out and to receive - and to give - hope, love, care and/or support?

(ps - thank you, Ivar, for actually ‘acting on‘ the idea for this forum, all those years ago, and to all mods who have to read, and sometimes mediate within, all these threads/posts/questions etc.)

Ultreia to all!

 

[Bristle Boy]

Having had two grandparents and, in recent years, a mother who suffered from Altzheimers /Dementia I hold your hand and admire your humour and friendship....much love.

 

[JabbaPapa]

If he can hold on to the Camino experience, the life in such social accommodation is not unlike the better sort of Pilgrimage sleeping place, where you can have a monastic cell or similar all to yourself and along the very sort of life journey that the Camino is a material manifestation of.

Just make ultra absolutely 100% sure including through very frequent visits that they don't sedate your friend into a quasi-vegetable state, and certainly never "for his own good" or other such dubious excuses.

Otherwise, cheeses and other animal fats can help delay mental degradation. But constant and insistent mental stimulation from friends and family, including aggressively and argumentatively, can also be of great help to keep his mind as agile as possible.

A few months later on the Camino, I come out from laundry duties (Santo Domingo) to find him talking to a table of folks about his dementia and the attendant challenges and why he has a sidekick. (Yeah, I groaned.)

Personally speaking, I would have felt very pleased by the level of trust that this demonstrates, not only in his fellow pilgrims, but especially in you personally. That depth of frankness and honesty can come only from deep friendship or love.

 

[steve 217]

Long story short....

A friend of almost 50 years AND a pilgrim like the rest of us (though not a Forum member) called me the other night to request that I help him settle into hospice care in a few days time.

What else can you say but "Sure, it would be an honor and a privilege."

I humbly request the spiritual assistance of whatever type the community here can offer. He, his family, and I could use the support. I thank you in advance for your help!

Yeah...this is a pretty "heavy" post and potentially exploitative of emotions. No "pity party" is required, I assure you! I am just looking to harness some of the very positive energy so often evident here.

I will try to negate the "heaviness" of the post with a couple humorous points from our Caminos together.

1) My friend got the calling to walk the Camino a few years after being diagnosed with an early dementia. His lovely bride was at wits end as to how to satisfy the call. Knowing that I had already been, she called for suggestions. "Well, heck, I'll take him!"

A few months later on the Camino, I come out from laundry duties (Santo Domingo) to find him talking to a table of folks about his dementia and the attendant challenges and why he has a sidekick. (Yeah, I groaned.)

But you know how that 'pilgrim telegraph' works, right? Two nights later, a very nice young lady tells me over a menu that she is sorry for my diagnosis and what a great friend I have. Color me confused for a moment... "Oh", I say, "he is the one with dementia...I am just 'on the spectrum' as they say as well as a committed introvert."

"Huh", says she, "he just seems so normal compared to you!" (Ouch!)


2) Villefranca del Bierzo at the Hotel Mendez (no albergue beds available) - we go down to dinner in their nice resto. A couple of Italian ladies we had met earlier asked if they could join us. "Sure!"

At this time, my friend had been married for 32 years and I for 36. While settling into dessert, one of the ladies asked how we chose our wedding rings. My friend relates how he and his bride got theirs and then I relate my story. Confusion appears on their faces - "Uh, hold on...we heard you were a gay couple from 'un-named country!'"

Even with dementia, my buddy doesn't miss a beat - - "Why did you think we were from THAT country?" - - and we all broke up. (Maybe you had to be there. )


So, yeah, there's stress and sorrow...but I am pretty sure the regrets are rather small. Many of you, like me, have already been down this road a number of times. I am just looking for an extra bump of energy for any of the participants when reserves have been exhausted.

Again, my thanks for whatever you can offer.

B

 

[henrythedog]

Long story short....

A friend of almost 50 years AND a pilgrim like the rest of us (though not a Forum member) called me the other night to request that I help him settle into hospice care in a few days time.

What else can you say but "Sure, it would be an honor and a privilege."

I humbly request the spiritual assistance of whatever type the community here can offer. He, his family, and I could use the support. I thank you in advance for your help!

Yeah...this is a pretty "heavy" post and potentially exploitative of emotions. No "pity party" is required, I assure you! I am just looking to harness some of the very positive energy so often evident here.

I will try to negate the "heaviness" of the post with a couple humorous points from our Caminos together.

1) My friend got the calling to walk the Camino a few years after being diagnosed with an early dementia. His lovely bride was at wits end as to how to satisfy the call. Knowing that I had already been, she called for suggestions. "Well, heck, I'll take him!"

A few months later on the Camino, I come out from laundry duties (Santo Domingo) to find him talking to a table of folks about his dementia and the attendant challenges and why he has a sidekick. (Yeah, I groaned.)

But you know how that 'pilgrim telegraph' works, right? Two nights later, a very nice young lady tells me over a menu that she is sorry for my diagnosis and what a great friend I have. Color me confused for a moment... "Oh", I say, "he is the one with dementia...I am just 'on the spectrum' as they say as well as a committed introvert."

"Huh", says she, "he just seems so normal compared to you!" (Ouch!)


2) Villefranca del Bierzo at the Hotel Mendez (no albergue beds available) - we go down to dinner in their nice resto. A couple of Italian ladies we had met earlier asked if they could join us. "Sure!"

At this time, my friend had been married for 32 years and I for 36. While settling into dessert, one of the ladies asked how we chose our wedding rings. My friend relates how he and his bride got theirs and then I relate my story. Confusion appears on their faces - "Uh, hold on...we heard you were a gay couple from 'un-named country!'"

Even with dementia, my buddy doesn't miss a beat - - "Why did you think we were from THAT country?" - - and we all broke up. (Maybe you had to be there. )


So, yeah, there's stress and sorrow...but I am pretty sure the regrets are rather small. Many of you, like me, have already been down this road a number of times. I am just looking for an extra bump of energy for any of the participants when reserves have been exhausted.

Again, my thanks for whatever you can offer.

B

You’re doing something tremendous.

My mother passed away in 2016 with - amongst other things dementia with lewey bodies. It adds some of the symptoms of Parkinson’s on top of garden-variety vascular dementia. It wasn’t pretty to watch, but rather more difficult to experience.

In her increasingly rare periods of lucidity mum still managed a sense of humour. She once said ‘I thought it would come down to either spilling your drink or forgetting where you put it down, I do both.’

RIP

 

[steve 217]

B i was so moved to read your post i inadvertently posted reply which contained nothing.

I lost my pal in Oct last year after the journey you so movingly describe .
At the end he knew what i felt of our friendship at the end there was nothing else i could tell him other then i loved him and it had been a blast and a privilege to have known him.
By then he couldnt reply but he knew.
Your Camigo knows and chose you ,as a friend because of your love loyalty and strength.
Im not a religious man the strength to go through what you and he are going through whether it comes from religion ,faith,or simply your memories of the daft ,great ,ridiculous adventures you were lucky enough to share with each other-is the only thing you need to provide you with the strength.
Friends are so few and life is so short and can be so cruel, your Camigo sounds like someone who has squeezed every ounce out of life.

I wish him and his family and most of all you Buen Camino

 

[SYates]

...

I humbly request the spiritual assistance of whatever type the community here can offer. He, his family, and I could use the support. I thank you in advance for your help!
...

I am more than happy to add him, his family, you and all your friends to our prayer diary here in Santiago: http://egeria.house/let-us-pray-for-you/

BC SY

 

[simply B]

I am more than happy to add him, his family, you and all your friends to our prayer diary here in Santiago: http://egeria.house/let-us-pray-for-you/

BC SY

I will PM you - - and thank you so much. What a marvelous community here. We are deeply moved and profoundly grateful!

B