My last post

[soozansings]

It's been mostly lovely. Thanks to most of you for your kindness and understanding as I take the first steps of my first time out of the US to walk the Camino. If I've offended you by my aggravation at intolerance by those who have "been there, done that" and feel that snide remarks make the Camino a better place for us "newbies", then I offer my most sincere apologies. Sorry, Ivar. I didn't expect to be admonished for calling out a forum member who is always explicitly rude to folks with honest concerns . Blessings and buen camino to you all.

 

[michael heitzman]

I've too noticed remarks from people that I'd consider less than friendly. People love to put their opinions out there and get upset when you don't whole heartedly agree. It must be a crummy existence for people and leaves a bad taste in the mouths of us newbies. The one positive thing you can take from those people is to not pass on that attitude to others. While not being able to abolish it entirely, you're not perpetuating those mind sets that drag others down, it ends with you. I'm sure you know you'll always find bad apples and this place is no exception, but to me it's mostly positive thoughts here.

Hope to hear from you again and have an awesome journey, fellow newbie.

 

[LesBrass]

@soozansings I hope you have a great walk and that when you're back home you come on to the forum and offer advice to other folks just starting out... Your experiences will matter too.

When I did my first walk I had a few grumpy replies to one or two posts. At the time one upset me so much I came on and deleted my photo, information about me and my walk info... and I stewed for a few days... Not quite understanding why someone would come on here just to be mean. But after a few days I decided I had to just ignore it and focus on the lovely people that give great advice and that make me smile... So I put my photo back and updated my information and carried on as if nothing had happened.

As I said on another post... Some folks in life can be a bit grumpy... But so many folks here make me smile and I gain so much that will help me on my next walk I can't imagine not being part of this group now. I really hope that once you've walked you'll feel the same... And that you can bring a smile and a little bit of joy to another newbie one day.

Have an amazing trip... And please come back and tell us how it all went.

 

[NualaOC]

Good advice from @LesBrass. If you've had more positive than negative experiences here, you might feel inclined to come back after your Camino and share your experiences with new pilgrims. It is of course your choice - online forums/social media are not an integral part of a Camino experience.

Also, did you know that there's an 'ignore' function on this forum? If you find that some people's posts create a negative energy for you, you can simply choose not to see them. Just click 'ignore' when you look at their profile.

Buen Camino! Not long now for you.

 

[LesBrass]

Also, did you know that there's an 'ignore' function on this forum? If you find that some people's posts create a negative energy for you, you can simply choose not to see them. Just click 'ignore' when you look at their profile.

I didn't know that... Wow... Haha I might find that useful from time to time

 

[Peter Fransiscus]

It's been mostly lovely. Thanks to most of you for your kindness and understanding as I take the first steps of my first time out of the US to walk the Camino. If I've offended you by my aggravation at intolerance by those who have "been there, done that" and feel that snide remarks make the Camino a better place for us "newbies", then I offer my most sincere apologies. Sorry, Ivar. I didn't expect to be admonished for calling out a forum member who is always explicitly rude to folks with honest concerns . Blessings and buen camino to you all.

In my oppinion everything is said by the pilgrims in this tread. And yes the ignore button works great for some.
Wish you a wonderful journey and a blessed Camino, Peter.

 

[FredMarney]

Bernard Baruch said it best " Those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter."

 

[Albertagirl]

It's been mostly lovely. Thanks to most of you for your kindness and understanding as I take the first steps of my first time out of the US to walk the Camino. If I've offended you by my aggravation at intolerance by those who have "been there, done that" and feel that snide remarks make the Camino a better place for us "newbies", then I offer my most sincere apologies. Sorry, Ivar. I didn't expect to be admonished for calling out a forum member who is always explicitly rude to folks with honest concerns . Blessings and buen camino to you all.

Buen camino. Have a wonderful time. I hope you'll let us know how it goes.

 

[Sue M]

Never noticed anyone being rude or grumpy. I've found comments very helpful.

 

[RumAndChupacabras]

@soozansings, I'm sorry to read this. I leave for my first Camino in just a few hours. I'll be thinking of you and hope you have a wonderful Camino when yours comes around!

 

[grayland]

It may also be that some find those opinions that disagree with thier own as "grumpy".

All opinions that conform with the forum rules are welcome here....even those who advocate what some choose to consider as a more traditional Camino.


Group think or political correctness is not the rule here.
It often appears that some expect opinions to conform.
We don't have to agree on our concept of a Camino.
We should always attempt to be civil and helpful to other pilgrims...both new and experienced.

 

[pilgrim b]

"We should always attempt to be civil and helpful to other pilgrims...both new and experienced."
Spot ON grayland
Some may be fluent writers and educated, others more practical and resourceful, but all have one thing in common: Pilgrims or potential pilgrims.
Rudeness and intollerance are never an option!
Hope to see you return soon Soozansings

 

[Rebekah Scott]

Indeed. So many people on social media don't seem to understand that a Forum means people can express every kind of opinion here. If it is disagreeable or harsh, well... suck it up. It's only an opinion, it's not the dreaded "judgement" or cruelty or (usually not) rudeness. Forums are for grown-ups who can give as good as they get, and who don't mope or freak out when everyone's ideas don't line up with their own.
You will get tons of compassion, advice, and even hand-holding here. But don't expect a big cheering section, or too many pats on the head.
Sweetness-and-light "support groups" and "counseling" pages are elsewhere on the web.

 

[Mike Savage]

Buen camino. Have a wonderful time!

 

[vgen5122]

It's been mostly lovely. Thanks to most of you for your kindness and understanding as I take the first steps of my first time out of the US to walk the Camino. If I've offended you by my aggravation at intolerance by those who have "been there, done that" and feel that snide remarks make the Camino a better place for us "newbies", then I offer my most sincere apologies. Sorry, Ivar. I didn't expect to be admonished for calling out a forum member who is always explicitly rude to folks with honest concerns . Blessings and buen camino to you all.

It has been my experience on the forum, that there are many people all with different opinions, experiences, and ideas. I believe that it is ok to express or call out the behavior without fingering one individual.
There are more people on the forum that are nice than people that are
Rude. Opinions can either be used or ignored.
Someone that is continuiosly rude is recognized and usually ignored. An honest concern can be addressed in a general manner.
Please give the forum another try and stay with us. We are not all rude. Buen Camino on your journey of a life time.

 

[SYates]

This forum is a pretty good representation of the people you will meet on your Camino. As on the Camino you can choose to ignore some and choose to communicate with some. It is all up to you. Buen Camino, SY

 

[Ahhhs]

Ah the forum experience.

There are always a few "pontificators", "know-it-alls", "my way or the highway", some who need to be "right" and have the last word on everything, and those who are occasionally just plain rude. Such is the nature of any forum involving so many people.

Expect that these comments will happen as they always do from time to time, and try not to take any of them personally. These people don't know you and they just are who they are. Try to see the humor in someone who feels the need to puff up their chest on a public forum.

There are so many kind and wonderful people here too. Let's focus on them.

Buen Camino and have a lovely day!

 

[trecile]

I always find it interesting on forums when people feel that they must announce that they will no longer be posting, reading, etc.

 

[CaminoDebrita]

Never noticed anyone being rude or grumpy. I've found comments very helpful.

Gotta get some of those rose-colored glasses!

 

[CaminoDebrita]

It has been my experience on the forum, that there are many people all with different opinions, experiences, and ideas. I believe that it is ok to express or call out the behavior without fingering one individual.
There are more people on the forum that are nice than people that are
Rude. Opinions can either be used or ignored.
Someone that is continuiosly rude is recognized and usually ignored. An honest concern can be addressed in a general manner.
Please give the forum another try and stay with us. We are not all rude. Buen Camino on your journey of a life time.

That's right! This forum is a good microcosm of the Camino de Santiago--and most of the members are interesting, thoughtful, and kind. You have to let it go.

Certainly don't leave because you got in a little forum trouble! It gets a little heated in here from time to time, but the mods really do a great job in enforcing the forum guidelines--which are there for a reason. If you need to vent, find someone like-minded and have a personal conversation! Works wonders.

Buen Camino.

 

[RobertS26]

I have found it interesting to look at the ratio of "likes" to number of posts that individuals have on this forum. Some people have posted thousands and thousands of times and yet only have several hundred "likes". Most people have a ratio of 1 or 2 "likes" to each post. I'd like to think I'm doing something right because my ratio of "likes" to posts is 5 to 1. Yet, some people choose to attack me. I just take solace in the fact that apparently most people think I have something useful to say on here every now and then.

Buen Camino everyone (even to all of you Shirley McClain fans).

 

[amorfati1]

I have found it interesting to look at the ratio of "likes" to number of posts that individuals have on this forum. Some people have posted thousands and thousands of times and yet only have several hundred "likes". Most people have a ratio of 1 or 2 "likes" to each post. I'd like to think I'm doing something right because my ratio of "likes" to posts is 5 to 1. Yet, some people choose to attack me. I just take solace in the fact that apparently most people think I have something useful to say on here every now and then.

Buen Camino everyone (even to all of you Shirley McClain fans).

(couldn't find a chuckle-chuckle emocotion - otherwise i'd post that - reg the SMcC bit)

 

[Icacos]

I have found it interesting to look at the ratio of "likes" to number of posts that individuals have on this forum......

Sorry, @RobertS26, but "custody of the eyes" comes to mind.

 

[trecile]

From time to time a forum member decides for one reason or another to leave this place this. Immediately another one posts their surprise of why announce that you are leaving. The reply is very simple - It´s a matter of upbringing. Some people have been taught that when you arrive to a place you introduce yourself and greet others and that when you leave you say goodbye.

Why one leaves is a for a different thread.

In any case soozansings I with you well in life and as I usually say......... ondo ibili !

MendiWalker

I disagree. I think that the "announcement" is usually a ploy to get people to beg them to stay, and agree that they were correct in whatever disagreement prompted the decision to leave.

 

[darronb]

I am a relative newbie to the forum and have to say some posts make laugh others shake my head in disbelief, there are friendly, not so friendly and everything in-between. I am as guilty as everyone else sometimes of getting hot under the collar about another disagreeing with me etc, but on the whole, one tries to be a little philosophical and use the ignore option. My brother, God rest his soul, used to say "opinions are like ass-holes everyone has one" at end of the day. Once out on The Way we are all the same, taking a long walk in a beautiful country. We may not agree with each other sometimes but we all have the same goal in the end.

So Buen Camino to one and all.

 

[Wokabaut_Meri]

I disagree. I think that the "announcement" is usually a ploy to get people to beg them to stay, and agree that they were correct in whatever disagreement prompted the decision to leave.

...and there we have it... as @darronb stated so well we all have our opinion...

 

[lovingkindness]

I have found it interesting to look at the ratio of "likes" to number of posts that individuals have on this forum. Some people have posted thousands and thousands of times and yet only have several hundred "likes". Most people have a ratio of 1 or 2 "likes" to each post. I'd like to think I'm doing something right because my ratio of "likes" to posts is 5 to 1. Yet, some people choose to attack me. I just take solace in the fact that apparently most people think I have something useful to say on here every now and then.

Buen Camino everyone (even to all of you Shirley McClain fans).

Hija, @RobertS26. When the Forum began (2004?) there wasn't a 'Like' button to click. I think it was added in 2012. Before that people expressed their appreciation in other ways...

 

[norelle]

I was just about to mention this - as the 'like' button was definitely not around in 2011 when I joined the forum.

I do 'like' it though...!

 

[lovingkindness]

I was just about to mention this - as the 'like' button was definitely not around in 2011 when I joined the forum.

I do 'like' it though...!

ha ha! It took me an age to start clicking the 'Like' button. I felt like I was being lazy or cheating somehow by not saying why I liked something. Now I kinda like being a sloth, just clicking and cruising. It suppresses foot-in-mouth disease....which I seem to present with often...

 

[C clearly]

Some people have been taught that when you arrive to a place you introduce yourself and greet others and that when you leave you say goodbye.

Good manners don't require that a public announcement be broadcast when you arrive and depart a public place. Sometimes a PM, and/or a discreet departure are more appropriate and courteous to the good people in the crowd.

 

[C clearly]

If it were´t good manners why is there a Pilgrim Introduction board on this forum?
Ondo Ibili !

Yes, I thought about that inconsistency. It is just that that a public announcement of an unhappy departure makes everyone feel bad, even when person leaving says that most people are nice. Good manners need to be flexible.

By the way, I understand the urge to make a statement, and often admire the person who is willing to do so. I am just pointing out that it has some negative effects and can't really be defended by the "good manners" argument. One can still make statements and take a break without drama.

 

[canis_major]

This forum is a pretty good representation of the people you will meet on your Camino. As on the Camino you can choose to ignore some and choose to communicate with some. It is all up to you. Buen Camino, SY

But the social dynamic in a forum and on the Camino are worlds apart.

Apart from the handful of bad experiences I had with individuals on my five Caminos, I have never had pilgrims or hospitaleros seem to gang up against me or any other pilgrim for sharing an opinion. But in this forum I have witnessed seasoned members seem to gang up on an OP (not me) simply because they voiced a criticism of the Camino which was presented in fairly cordial terms.

The Camino is face-to-face communication, a dynamic that’s well known to be generally much more effective, civil and non-judgemental compared with modern social media, where people can hide behind pseudonyms and screens (my name is Gerry by the way ).

Social media in general is increasingly blighted by ferocious attacks against any criticism, and also by bullying. God forbid that this forum should go down that road (camino), and it hasn’t. But, in my opinion, a few threads have been borderline, and I feel increasingly so in the last year. And I don't seem to be alone in that opinion.

A recently closed thread is a good example where quite hostile judgment was voiced only because the OP touched a raw nerve that many seasoned members did not agree with. So where is such an person supposed to go from there, except to walk the Camino where they can get away from it all, or perhaps say things like “This is my last post!”. Then all is “Quiet”, except for…the “fittest” and most vociferous who remain. Not everyone can give as good as they get, or much less want to. And this forum may well lose a lot of such people without knowing it, because this kind of person often leaves without saying a word.

And if comparisons are to be drawn between the Camino itself and this forum, then I think that on balance the forum can learn from the Camino how to interact socially and meaningfully without being rude or hostile, and still engage in the cut and thrust of debate. One exception of course being the few “unprofessional hospitaleros” on the Camino…but, uh-oh, let’s not go there again!

Now I am just ducking my head beneath the parapet again for a while.. bye! .

 

[Jacobus]

Indeed. So many people on social media don't seem to understand that a Forum means people can express every kind of opinion here. If it is disagreeable or harsh, well... suck it up. It's only an opinion, it's not the dreaded "judgement" or cruelty or (usually not) rudeness. Forums are for grown-ups who can give as good as they get, and who don't mope or freak out when everyone's ideas don't line up with their own.
You will get tons of compassion, advice, and even hand-holding here. But don't expect a big cheering section, or too many pats on the head.
Sweetness-and-light "support groups" and "counseling" pages are elsewhere on the web.

Amen

 

[Nanc]

Canus_major I had to respond beyond a like because I feel your summary was right on. Both in the forum's strengths and weakness.
I, too,was raised to say good-bye even from an informal gathering. I acknowledge your presence, the leaving of it, and the moment in time our paths crossed. It's respectful.
We never know what's in another's mind or thoughts. In this group particularly, we share almost intimate moments of fears, excitement, and evolution. I would wonder where someone who had shared their thoughts was now. How many times does someone on the forum say "I haven't heard from so and so" or "I wonder whether they started/finished their Camino" or "whether our suggestion worked out".
Because this is where I come from, I am flummoxed to see interpretations of this departure as having such self serving ulterior motives. Can a good-bye just be a good-bye?
And while I have shared before on the pitfalls of nationalities and cultures trying to communicate in print, this tendency to KNOW what is in another's head has lead to assumptions, comments and reactions that may be misplaced
I can find myself worrying how some of what I say will be taken or misinterpreted. You all have so much to offer, and I guess one is the lesson that what you think of me is none of my business
Namaste
Nanc

 

[canis_major]

Canus_major I had to respond beyond a like because I feel your summary was right on. Both in the forum's strengths and weakness.
I, too,was raised to say good-bye even from an informal gathering. I acknowledge your presence, the leaving of it, and the moment in time our paths crossed. It's respectful.
We never know what's in another's mind or thoughts. In this group particularly, we share almost intimate moments of fears, excitement, and evolution. I would wonder where someone who had shared their thoughts was now. How many times does someone on the forum say "I haven't heard from so and so" or "I wonder whether they started/finished their Camino" or "whether our suggestion worked out".
Because this is where I come from, I am flummoxed to see interpretations of this departure as having such self serving ulterior motives. Can a good-bye just be a good-bye?
And while I have shared before on the pitfalls of nationalities and cultures trying to communicate in print, this tendency to KNOW what is in another's head has lead to assumptions, comments and reactions that may be misplaced
I can find myself worrying how some of what I say will be taken or misinterpreted. You all have so much to offer, and I guess one is the lesson that what you think of me is none of my business
Namaste
Nanc

Oh I'm not leaving...sorry if I gave the wrong impression. I only intended to retreat into my castle for "a while" to recover my energy. I love this forum too much to leave it.

Besides, I've just bought myself a new tin hat and an extra layer of rhinoserous skin...so you might even be seeing more of me from now on . The only problem is that this new gear doesn't suit me very much. It makes me look a bit like Shrek. Still needs must.

On the other hand I don't think I have spoken up as much in all my life. So hallelujah for that! \0/

 

[clearskiescamino]

Without differing opinions, life would be a boring place.
OP - enjoy your Camino and if you do return to this great forum, might I suggest you use the great "ignore" button. I use it and it makes my time on this forum very enjoyable.
Buen Camino!

 

[Nanc]

Canis-major ( just noticed I mis- spelled. ) I did not think you were leaving. The thread picked up on an older OP about that