Hi John,
I hope you are well and enjoying your Camino. Congratulations on doing the Camino, especially if it has meant leaving a support network behind and venturing outside your comfort zone. It can be a huge and very daunting step so well done.
I won't presume your diagnosis or health issues but for the purpose of offering insight here, I have Paranoid Schizophrenia and Recurrent Depressive Disorder which comes with some fairly debilitating anxiety. I can go months without being able to access the community and so when I walked the Camino in 2013 it presented multiple difficulties but was ultimately the best thing I have ever done.
You ask how others cope, and so I will offer my experience to be cherry picked if helpful.
Follow your heart, or instinct as the case may be. There really are no right or wrongs in self-caring if it makes you feel safe, well and happy. Sometimes we come to something like the Camino with expectations that can become burdens and trigger emotions like guilt and a sense of failure and yet so often they are others expectations and shouldn't dictate your experience.
I walked almost two-thirds of my Camino before realizing I did not have to fulfill this dreaded stereotype of what a true pilgrim is. Because of my Schizophrenia, I was unable to use the albergues as I wanted to because dormitories would set off my paranoia and made me unwell. I should add that even at home I cannot share a room, even with a loved one. So I used private rooms in Hostels or Casa Rurales which unfortunately prompted many to proclaim me less of a pilgrim. The guilt of this really affected my mental health until I finally realized my Camino was between me and God and not others. Letting go of others expectations allowed me to experience my experience and get the most from it.
I had a terrible psychotic episode in Sarria and fled on a bus to Palas De Rey, very aware I was breaking rules and unable to think of a viable alternative. However, when I reached the Pilgrims office I was still granted my Compostela (and so much more! Grace at its best IMHO) Had I not I would have in my heart. Perhaps our real Camino is in our heart anyway... However, the point here is that I returned and completed this stage the following year. What was important was I was able to do what I need to do to care for myself at the time. Had I forced myself to continue I have no doubt I would have needed an inpatient stay.
So follow your instinct regarding what is right for you. I also found I needed security. For me, this meant making sure I knew I had booked accommodation ahead of me. The worry of where I would sleep triggered far too much anxiety and so I dealt with it! This might not be necessary for you as many are happy to sleep where they decide to stop walking, but for me, it helped to have security. So take a look at what makes you feel safe. Booked accommodation, walking with others or alone, walking at certain times... do what gives you confidence.
I also tried to ensure I had enough sleep and ate well. Managed my medication properly. "Indulged" myself when I needed to. Sounds like common sense but it is so easy to become distracted on the Camino because of its physical and mental demands, not to mention social!
I also found it very helpful being able to speak to a very close friend during especially bad times. At the time I had a brilliant roaming package which allowed me to call home to the UK at no extra cost and this definitely helped. European residents are now enjoying charge free roaming within Europe so perhaps having a call plan and mobile is something that might help. I realize you are already walking but if having contact with someone is going to be helpful it might not be too late to arrange this. With free roaming, you can also access helplines and similar support.
So...do what you need to do in order to feel safe. Don't self-impose unnecessary expectations that become burdens and issues. Try to speak to someone if you need to. And in regards to dealing with the issues that are raised while you travel, try to deal with them in a similar manner to at home. Familiarity can be helpful so if you usually talk about it, then talk. I spoke to God and Saint James an awful lot and found they were the best listeners. Or take time out to process issues...do what is needed is probably the theme of this post.
When I finished my Camino I had experienced something i still find miraculous and I now return every year to walk the
Camino Frances because its familiarity makes me feel safe. These are just how i coped. You may be challenging yourself in different ways and need different advice. Walking the Camino has become the best therapy i know and i wish you the very best. Buen Camino and safe journeys.
Bryce.
