Meeting up with a group of friends who start at a later point on the camino

[ctburg]

I am planning my first camino next year. At the very least, I will be walking with my teenager and a small group of friends from Leon to Santiago. I am feeling "called" for lack of a better word to start my camino in St Jean and meet them in Leon. My concern is that after 3 weeks on the camino, I will be in a different place, physically, mentally and spiritually than those I will be meeting. Has anyone started on their own and met friends or family after weeks on the camino? Is this a bad idea? Would I be better served to start fresh with the group and walk another year on my own from St. Jean? Your thoughts and insights will be greatly appreciated.

 

[JohnMcM]

Hello ctburg,

Never done that myself and I think I understand your concern.

Perhaps you may benefit from the thoughts of "what will be will be" and "you can only control what you can control".

If perchance you were to end up in a different place than others, would it not be the place you were meant, need or want to be?

Walking with the group one year then on your own another might be a fruitless task because, as far as I can determine, we may walk the same Camino more than once and find a different us each time.

I simply love the sentiment and consideration for others within the words of your post.

Buen Camino

 

[ctburg]

John,
Thank you for your response. Perhaps, I didn't explain myself well. I am concerned that I may be a drain on the "fresh" group after 3 weeks on the camino. This is primarily a group of teens and, even though I am fit, keeping their pace may be a stretch even without the previous wear and tear on this old body, mind and spirit. This is a school group and the individual leading and organizing the group has expressed a desire that we all travel to the same destination and roughly together each day--which is entirely understandable when traveling with minors. Should I be suffering from blisters, tendonitis, or mental fatigue, I don't want to hold the group back simply because I started sooner. I have done a lot of hiking but I have never done a long distance walk and simply do not know what to expect from myself or the camino. I have done my research, read the guides, read numerous personal accounts, but have yet to see this particular issue discussed. I am trying to balance my wants, need and desires with the best interest of the group.

 

[Icacos]

This is going to be an interesting thread, I think. @ctburg you say you are planning your first Camino next year. You did not indicate which came first, the idea of your Camino, or the idea of your friends/teenager doing a group Camino. Will you be expected to be a leader/chaperone to the group? Just at the onset, I think if you are being "called" to start your Camino in SJPP, having to scale back, or restrict yourself to accommodate others, will foster resentment on your part. I don't think I am a selfish person, but there are some times, I think, when we need, for our psychological well-being, to put our own needs first. (However, I do appreciate that your situation may be different from what mine was.)

BTW, when I was planning my Camino, I too felt called to start in SJPP, one of my walking companions chose to start in Roncesvalles, and. the other only had enough time to start in Burgos. It all worked out. Be assured, this will all work out for you too.

 

[MichaelSG]

Hmmmmm, an old, worn out body may be meeting the fresh group in Leon and thus, not able to keep up with them. Alternatively, a seasoned pilgrim hiker may be meeting up with wet-behind-the-ears rookies whose first day blisters hold them all back from you. You may be too tired to help advise them on ordering food in Spanish, albergue etiquette or walking safety. Alternatively, their niavite may be so blatant and irritating that you are energized into helping them.

You will definitely be in a different place than the others mentally, physically and spiritually but that may be a good thing. Who knows? Buen Caminho!

 

[Kanga]

@ctburg I've met up with people a couple of times with mixed results, but I think it may be the opposite to what you fear! On my second Camino I set out from SJPDP alone, and my spouse met me at Astorga. He is normally much, much fitter than me. This tine my three weeks of trail fitness meant I could outpace him easily. He got blisters trying to keep up. We were also in very different places emotionally. So there was some disconnect between my near-euphoric racing ahead mood and his just-getting-into it and still trudging state. The arrival in Santiago was not wonderful; I was preoccupied with his discomfort rather than my own achievement.

My spouse and I also walked the Le Puy route for several weeks before meeting up with two other couples in Moissac. That worked out fine. Having learnt from the previous experience I deliberately planned some super easy days to allow our companions to build up their fitness. It also meant a bit of a party atmosphere for us. Great fun. But certainly not contemplative.

My advice would be to go ahead but do some contingency planning and keep an eye on your own feelings when you meet up. You just don't know ahead of time how you will be doing. If you feel resentment towards your young companions you will need to call on reserves of grace. Perhaps have already in place a plan so that you can extricate yourself from them and continue walking alone during the day, meeting up each night, without that causing a problem. That is what tended to happen when I walked with my daughter.

 

[Deleted member 3000]

I do not think you will have a good experience trying to do "both." Go alone, or go with the group. After I had a few caminos under my belt, I had friends join me along the way. Since I had exhausted the "me" in my caminos, I simply did it their way, and everyone was content. I think it would have been a disaster if the others had impinged on my early pilgrimages when they joined me. On your first pilgrimage, think about the massive change of being responsible only for yourself, then suddenly being responsible to a group. Be sure you would like the change.

Buen camino.

 

[Phillypilgrim]

When I walked the CF in 2013, I met my 25 year old niece in Sarria. She had the most inappropriate cute zippered NYC boots! Luckily we wear the same size and she wore my Keene sandals. Other that that, we had the most fantastic time together. We walked the same pace, talked non-stop, and it was the best way for me to end my pilgrimage. It is impossible to predict how these meet-ups will go, but by Sarria I was ready for our strong, loving connection and we will always cherish this time together.

 

[Texasguy]

I would do your first Camino by yourself, the next one with your friends. For me it was the best way. I loved it.
Even now, walking the Camino Portuguese, the walking alone refreshes me, and allows me to reflect where I am in my life.
When I walked with friends, I did not get the time to reflect, and although fun, I really missed the contemplative part.

Even with all of this, follow your heart, El Camino will give you what you need, whenever you need it.

Buen Camino

 

[Mark Lee]

I am planning my first camino next year. At the very least, I will be walking with my teenager and a small group of friends from Leon to Santiago. I am feeling "called" for lack of a better word to start my camino in St Jean and meet them in Leon. My concern is that after 3 weeks on the camino, I will be in a different place, physically, mentally and spiritually than those I will be meeting. Has anyone started on their own and met friends or family after weeks on the camino? Is this a bad idea? Would I be better served to start fresh with the group and walk another year on my own from St. Jean? Your thoughts and insights will be greatly appreciated.

Don't think too much about it. Start in SJPdP and meet them in Leon and have a good time. By then your body will have conditioned itself. When you meet up with them you can help them choose albergues, where to eat, what to order, etc. The great thing is you will all be walking into Santiago together and will have some great times in the couple of weeks prior. I think you will actually be an asset to them.
Like I said, don't think or worry too much about it. Just have a good time. Besides, it's not like one of the old WW2 movies where the grizzled vet with the thousand yard stare meets up with the green, fresh faced replacements. Ha ha.

 

[Kitsambler]

I don't know about you, but I would surely chafe if held to the operating envelope designed to keep minors under supervision. How about agreeing to meet up with them at certain points (Leon, ..., ..., and Santiago), but walking the route yourself, by yourself?

 

[Kiwi-family]

I walked with my two sons (11 and 13) for two weeks (Pamplona to Saint Jean to Bayonne on La Voie de la Nive and then back to Pamplona on the Baztan) and then my husband brought our two younger girls to walk with us from Pamplona. My fears were the same as yours. The reality was that the boys and I had discovered we could walk 30+km (through getting lost!) and we knew we would have to hold back once we were with the others. For us, having hubby/daddy there was The Most Wonderful Thing and so we did not mind the 20km days - but that is quite an intimate relationship and we were strongly interested in supporting each other. After a week of walking with them, they all got tired and talked about doing some short days - by that stage the boys and I were chomping at the bit to get some miles done. It was a give and take scenario and we all learnt to get on better. Putting others' needs first was really important.
Hubby/Daddy was only with us for two weeks and so we made the most of shorter days by hanging out together in the afternoons. By the time he went home the girls were stronger and we picked up the pace a bit and walked far further than we had ever intended on any given day (our plan had been an average of about 18km/day - we ended up doing quite a few 30+ days and one as far as 37km).
I guess it's really important for you to work out what your purpose(s) will be and whether the two options are mutually exclusive or not. It would be worth considering the implications from many points of view and seriously appraise your personal reaction to each!
All the best.

 

[Deleted member 3000]

Putting others' needs first was really important.

That is so important in life, but may the worst thing a pilgrim can do. That is why I have suggested that the OP should pick one, and not mix the two choices. Obviously, each of us chooses for themself.

 

[jpflavin1]

I am planning my first camino next year. At the very least, I will be walking with my teenager and a small group of friends from Leon to Santiago. I am feeling "called" for lack of a better word to start my camino in St Jean and meet them in Leon. My concern is that after 3 weeks on the camino, I will be in a different place, physically, mentally and spiritually than those I will be meeting. Has anyone started on their own and met friends or family after weeks on the camino? Is this a bad idea? Would I be better served to start fresh with the group and walk another year on my own from St. Jean? Your thoughts and insights will be greatly appreciated.

Ctburg:

I have never started out with the intent to meet up with others at some specific point. That said, I have walked a Camino with others but most, at least at the start, alone. You are going to connect with others Pilgrims along the way. Some of your decisions might/will be altered by the level of connection you develop. They might not be family or friends at first but some/many will be at some point. The only route I walked without contacting another Pilgrim was the Salvador.

The point is I think you are putting too much thought into your plan. If you have the desire and time to do so, start from SJPdP. Trust in the Camino and your introspective journey prior to meeting up with friends and family to show you the way. There will be different challenges with a group but I would not waste another second trying to plan or worry about it. All will be fine.

Ultreia,
Joe

 

[tploomis]

Buen Camino[/QUOTE]

I am planning my first camino next year. At the very least, I will be walking with my teenager and a small group of friends from Leon to Santiago. I am feeling "called" for lack of a better word to start my camino in St Jean and meet them in Leon. My concern is that after 3 weeks on the camino, I will be in a different place, physically, mentally and spiritually than those I will be meeting. Has anyone started on their own and met friends or family after weeks on the camino? Is this a bad idea? Would I be better served to start fresh with the group and walk another year on my own from St. Jean? Your thoughts and insights will be greatly appreciated.

This seems like a very typical dilemma, not only on the Camino, but in other aspects of life as well. I may be misunderstanding, but this seems like the dilemma of "I want to do what I want to do because it is important to me" vs. "I have a responsibility to others and need to forego my own needs for the sake of others." Of course the resolution of that does not need to be either/or. However, either choice has rewards, depending on what kind of person you tend to be. For example if you naturally tend to think of others' needs first and place your own needs second, it might be worthwhile to say no to the teenage group with its attendant responsibilities and hike the Camino from St. Jean by yourself, for yourself. In this scenario, just the act of saying no could be worthwhile in itself. On the other hand, if you are the kind of person that naturally places your own needs first, and you tend to think of your own needs as most important, you could get a lot out of spending part of your Camino being the sheep herding dog for a pack of teenagers. In other words, I'm suggesting going against the grain of your natural tendency.

On the other hand if the issue is simply I don't think I'm strong enough to keep up with a group of teenagers, I'm with other posters here, and I think you will surprise yourself with how strong you are after weeks on the Camino by yourself. I do think that suddenly joining up with a group of rambunctious teenagers part way through the Camino would be quite a jolt to the system, but then they might be good for you and you might be good for them.

Not germain to your post, but my opinion nonetheless, I think most teenagers would be better off walking the Camino on their own, rather than doing it with a group. It's a great way for them to do some growing. My son solo-hiked the Appalachian Trail at 17. He started a boy and ended a man, and many fine adventures he had in between.

 

[Kiwi-family]

That is so important in life, but may the worst thing a pilgrim can do. That is why I have suggested that the OP should pick one, and not mix the two choices. Obviously, each of us chooses for themself.

Falcon, I agree with you. Mostly;-) I think it is crucial to understand the potential impact of both options. The answer MIGHT be in choosing just one of them. But it just might be in combining the two.

Buen Camino

Not germain to your post, but my opinion nonetheless, I think most teenagers would be better off walking the Camino on their own, rather than doing it with a group. It's a great way for them to do some growing. My son solo-hiked the Appalachian Trail at 17. He started a boy and ended a man, and many fine adventures he had in between.[/QUOTE] Totally agree with this. Of course, that might sound hypocritical to those who know our family including three teens at the time walked together in 2012 - but our purpose then was less about pilgrimage and more about dipping our toes in the water and experiencing something different together as a family with Grandpa. My youngest boys would like to cycle a route some time in the future (having now walked almost 2,000km of various camino trails) and Iam secretly thinking of sending them off to do it by themselves one year (maybe while I walk another route!!!)

 

[tploomis]

Falcon, I agree with you. Mostly;-) I think it is crucial to understand the potential impact of both options. The answer MIGHT be in choosing just one of them. But it just might be in combining the two.


(QUOTE) Not germane to your post, but my opinion nonetheless, I think most teenagers would be better off walking the Camino on their own, rather than doing it with a group. It's a great way for them to do some growing. My son solo-hiked the Appalachian Trail at 17. He started a boy and ended a man, and many fine adventures he had in between.

Totally agree with this. Of course, that might sound hypocritical to those who know our family including three teens at the time walked together in 2012 - but our purpose then was less about pilgrimage and more about dipping our toes in the water and experiencing something different together as a family with Grandpa. My youngest boys would like to cycle a route some time in the future (having now walked almost 2,000km of various camino trails) and Iam secretly thinking of sending them off to do it by themselves one year (maybe while I walk another route!!!)[/QUOTE]

Kiwi Family, I envy the children in your family! What great experiences they are having and will have in the future!

 

[camino07]

Rachel,I have a lovely photo of you and your children outside the Pilgrim Office last June.
I could upload it or try to send it privately if you like ?

 

[Kiwi-family]

Rachel,I have a lovely photo of you and your children outside the Pilgrim Office last June.
I could upload it or try to send it privately if you like ?

I would love that. We got home and discovered we only had a couple of photos of all of us and none at all of all of us with Daddy! Partly, I don't mind because we were just being present all the time, but if there's a picture out there, then it would be nice to see - and we didn't take any at the Pilgrim Office!

 

[ctburg]

Thanks to all who have taken the time to provide such insightful replies. I have smiled more than once at the "you are over-thinking this" comments, because it is indeed my nature to research and analyze things ad nauseam. For the upcoming trip, I am obligated--and want--to walk with my son. The trip with our small group is a one parent/one child endeavor so the option to walk the entire camino alone this year is not feasible unless I am willing to deprive my son of his camino--and I will not be so selfish. Assuming continued good health and good fortune, I can make a solo camino the following year and simply enjoy this time with my son. I will also be at peace if I find that I am not able to return on my own at some future date. What I gain by these days with my son will be as important as anything I gain on my own. It will simply be a different experience. Thank you once again for your replies.

 

[camino07]

I would love that. We got home and discovered we only had a couple of photos of all of us and none at all of all of us with Daddy! Partly, I don't mind because we were just being present all the time, but if there's a picture out there, then it would be nice to see - and we didn't take any at the Pilgrim Office!

 

[camino07]