Tania Reano Veitch
New Member
- Time of past OR future Camino
- Camino Frances from SJPDP to Santiago (Fall 2013)
Camino del Norte from Irun to Santiago (May 6th, 2016 - ?)
Hello everyone,
In September/October of 2013, I walked the Camino Frances from SJPDP to Santiago. It was a very special and life-changing experience. Ever since I got on the plane to come home I've wanted to return. Now I'm back and entirely lost.
On May 6th, I began walking the Camino del Norte from Irún. I got as far as Deba and didn't find what I was looking for, so I bussed to Pamplona and began walking from there. Everyday I would walk, see the beauty, but ask myself why the heck am I here? I've done this, it was special, it changed my life in big ways, but why am I here? I don't want to be here. Everything I remembered with rose coloured glasses was no longer 'rosey'.
I know I can't repeat the same journey, but I couldn't help, as I passed certain places, but miss the old journey. I tried changing it up...it's spring for starters, of course different people too, but I also stayed in different villages and at different albergues. Still, I would tell myself each day, I don't want to be here.
On my last day (yesterday), walking out of Logroño, all I could do was cry until I reached the tunnel that leads under the highway. I turned around and walked to the bus station and felt better. Now I am in Santiago picking up my suitcase. I don't want to be here either though. I am not ready to let go of the old journey or to have a new one. I want to flee the Camino. I have tears and a lump in my throat even now.
"So now what?" I am telling myself. I was very excited to be hospitalera in Grañon between June 15th and 30th before I left Canada. I don't want to quit that like I have quit this last Camino. I want to be 'good in my head' and ready to serve the pilgrims. I just feel so lost right now.
I have time to kill between now and then. Part of me thinks I should go somewhere off the path and read a book on a beach for a few days or be in a garden or mountain retreat where I can recoup and figure out what happened. Walking to Finistere came to mind, but I'm not sure I want to.
Any insight or ideas? I really appreciate it.
In September/October of 2013, I walked the Camino Frances from SJPDP to Santiago. It was a very special and life-changing experience. Ever since I got on the plane to come home I've wanted to return. Now I'm back and entirely lost.
On May 6th, I began walking the Camino del Norte from Irún. I got as far as Deba and didn't find what I was looking for, so I bussed to Pamplona and began walking from there. Everyday I would walk, see the beauty, but ask myself why the heck am I here? I've done this, it was special, it changed my life in big ways, but why am I here? I don't want to be here. Everything I remembered with rose coloured glasses was no longer 'rosey'.
I know I can't repeat the same journey, but I couldn't help, as I passed certain places, but miss the old journey. I tried changing it up...it's spring for starters, of course different people too, but I also stayed in different villages and at different albergues. Still, I would tell myself each day, I don't want to be here.
On my last day (yesterday), walking out of Logroño, all I could do was cry until I reached the tunnel that leads under the highway. I turned around and walked to the bus station and felt better. Now I am in Santiago picking up my suitcase. I don't want to be here either though. I am not ready to let go of the old journey or to have a new one. I want to flee the Camino. I have tears and a lump in my throat even now.
"So now what?" I am telling myself. I was very excited to be hospitalera in Grañon between June 15th and 30th before I left Canada. I don't want to quit that like I have quit this last Camino. I want to be 'good in my head' and ready to serve the pilgrims. I just feel so lost right now.
I have time to kill between now and then. Part of me thinks I should go somewhere off the path and read a book on a beach for a few days or be in a garden or mountain retreat where I can recoup and figure out what happened. Walking to Finistere came to mind, but I'm not sure I want to.
Any insight or ideas? I really appreciate it.