How to get my parents permission to go?

[elatkd1]

Good morning everybody,
I am 18 years old girl and I truthfully want to go to Santiago. I have opted for camino inglés as it is the shortest one and I want to try it. But unfortunatelly my parents do not want me to go… I have tried to explain how important is for to me to go. I suggested that they can go with me, but they refused. I suggested that they can follow me with app and I promised that I will keep them informed. And I do not have a personality to go without their permission…They trust me and I do not want to ruin it and carry all the consequences
I will not be alone on the camino as there are a lot of pilgrims and I speak spanish and english fluently and I can handle myself. I completely understand that my parents do not want me to go as I will be travelling alone but I do not know anyone who desires to go. Could you help me please? What would you do? The adventure and travelling is crucial for me and for my well-being, it is the sense of my life. Thank you

 

[Former member 92300]

Haha... my daughter turned 18, 6 weeks ago and she would just tell me "I am 18, I don't need your permission" LOL... but good for you for wanting to get your parents on board with your plan, because my daughter is driving me crazy! It's tough because she wanted to travel alone and was coming up with all of these plans, many of which I would NOT consider safe for an 18 year old girl travelling alone - and I was ENCOURAGING her to pick the Camino because I had done it before and I felt it was the safest of her plans. I am assuming your parents have NOT done it before, therefore they are uncomfortable with such a young woman, their daughter, travelling alone.

My first suggestion is - do you have a friend who would be willing to do it with you? If yes - that may be all your parents need to know - that you will be with a trusted companion. Beyond that - you just need to keep the lines of communication open with them, and perhaps try to get them to watch some videos and do research with you. That said - if they made up their mind already - there may be no changing it. They want to protect you and aren't willing to let go just yet. Are you going off to college soon? Are you moving out on your own soon? They may need you to take some of those steps before they are ready to let go. Are you a first born? That may make it tougher for them to let go.

In the end - my daughter and I are going together. But - I think she needs her space and so do I - so I am hoping we end up walking somewhat separately. I am hoping she finds a group of friends early on that she wants to hang out with and I will just see her in the next town - and only hang out together when we both want to hang out together. .

Good luck - I hope you get to go soon! If not now, in the near future.

 

[peregrino_tom]

Ingles can be a bit quiet at any time of year. I think your parents might be more at ease if you were on a busier route. Obviously there's the camino Frances, where, on the last part you aren't often out of sight of other pilgrims. Or possibly the last 100km of the Norte or Primitivo. Which month are you planning to go?
And I agree with Jeanine about going with a friend - that's a great idea.

 

[MinaKamina]

Perhaps you should change your strategy.
Instead of presenting ideas which they can simply reject, ask your parents in what situation THEY would be happy with your trip to Santiago. Find out more about them. Are they worried about you, are they worried about themselves, for instance. Let them do the talking and the thinking and come up with ideas.

Walking with a friend, or a group or a family could be the solution that you all end upon agreeing, but it is best to let the parents come up with the idea.

Then post your offer on the various forums: Czech pilgrim, fluent in Spanish and English seeks group to walk a Camino in spring / summer / autumn
So many pilgrims worry about the language and will be happy to have your support!

 

[williamlittig]

Ask your parents "what are their requirements?" The suggestion of a group, friend or the Camino Frances are all good ideas. You might also ask your parents to read these responses after a couple of days of input. They need to know that you have friends on the Caminos.

 

[Jodean]

May I suggest that you join Camigas, a FB page just for women who walk or want to walk one of the Camino routes. Many women meet up with each other, at least at the start. Perhaps if you meet someone who wants to walk the same time and route as you, you could then talk your parents into it.

 

[HeidiL]

I think you parents would feel safer if you were to walk with someone. Please use the forum resources to look for a woman or family you could walk with! (If they let you go, I'll be on the Camino Inglés from April 10th...)

 

[wayfarer]

Tell them you are thinking of hiking in the Hindu Kush but that you are also considering the Camino, they should readily agree to the Camino.

 

[Kilkee]

Good morning everybody,
I am 18 years old girl and I truthfully want to go to Santiago. I have opted for camino inglés as it is the shortest one and I want to try it. But unfortunatelly my parents do not want me to go… I have tried to explain how important is for to me to go. I suggested that they can go with me, but they refused. I suggested that they can follow me with app and I promised that I will keep them informed. And I do not have a personality to go without their permission…They trust me and I do not want to ruin it and carry all the consequences
I will not be alone on the camino as there are a lot of pilgrims and I speak spanish and english fluently and I can handle myself. I completely understand that my parents do not want me to go as I will be travelling alone but I do not know anyone who desires to go. Could you help me please? What would you do? The adventure and travelling is crucial for me and for my well-being, it is the sense of my life. Thank you

Or walk in a group see caminoways.com very trust worthy

 

[lt56ny]

Also if you can come up with a solution with your parents tell them you will download this app on your cell phone:

.: Error 403 :.

If you have problems. are lost or in trouble you can speak to an English speaking law enforcement person who can send help to you immediately should you need it. There is GPS tracking on the app so you can be found. I always download it before I go to Spain.

 

[t2andreo]

These are all very good suggestions. I endorse all of them. There are a few things I might add:

1. If you do the Camino Frances - recommended for first-timers as there is plenty of support available - you will never be lacking for walking companions. As a general thing, most all pilgrims associate with a group of pilgrims early on - usually in the first day or two. After all, everyone is headed the same way and for the same purpose. These people become your "Camino Family" for the remainder of the pilgrimage to Santiago. They help you, support you, share with you (and you with them) the entire way. In the process people from different nations and backgrounds become good friends.

I always suggest that women - of any age - walking alone at first - observe others around them. Find a small party or couple that can communicate with you.

Listen in on conversations and get a sense of what they are about. English is the de facto second language of the Camino, at least in my now-nine years experience.

Simply ask these "respectable appearing " folks if you may "tag along" with them. All this means is that you will walk near them, stop when they stop and slowly chat them up and (hopefully) strike up a friendship.

I have made lifelong friendships this way. I also have had people ask to tag along with me, a 60 something grandfatherly looking, bearded fellow with a slight paunch (belly) and a ready smile.

Ideally, you will find a nice couple or small group who can speak with you and are Camino veterans. That would be a win-win. But, in my experience, no one walks an entire Camino alone unless they go out of their way to do so. You are only as solitary as you choose to be.

Wearing a small Czech flag on your backpack so someone behind you can see it will also help. Don't be surprised if someone does not walk up behind you and greet you in your native language. In any event it is customary to say Good Morning (Buenas Dias) and Buen Camino to everyone you pass on the Camino. In France it is Bonjour, and Bon Chemin.

2. And I admit this is a touchy subject at present - with the present hostilities in Ukraine, your parents might want you close to home just-in-case something bad happens, and this war spreads to the west. While the Czech Republic does not share a land border with Ukraine, they are only one nation away.

This said, bear with me moderators, Madrid is some 4,000 air km from Kyiv. Relatively speaking, you are far safer on Camino in Spain than at home.

My guess is that mom and dad are simply concerned about their 'little girl" traveling across Europe on her own. This is natural and to be expected.

On balance, I think it is not my second point about what is going on in the east. I think it is the overall, general concept of you being separated from them.

In the end, all you can do is try to set up a contact regimen where you text, call, or Skype / Face Time regularly. Follow this with tagging along from your starting place, and you will be just fine.

The Camino de Santiago is among the safer places on earth. As long as you behave responsibly you will be fine and have a great time.

Oh, we are here to help you. Got questions, just ask away. The search function in the upper right hand corner is also invaluable for finding fast answers to most all common questions you have.

Remember, we were all Camino beginners at one time. I had to jump through hoops to get my wife to let me do this solo in 2013. So, I understand your predicament.

Show this to mom and dad if they can read English, or translate for them. If they have questions, ask for them. That is what we are all here for.

Best wishes and Buen Camino!

Tom

 

[Jeff Crawley]

Tell them you are thinking of hiking in the Hindu Kush but that you are also considering the Camino, they should readily agree to the Camino.

Now, now, you've blotted your copybook enough for today!

 

[wayfarer]

Now, now, you've blotted your copybook enough for today!

It was a policy I often employed, give the worst option first and have your preferred option as a backup.

 

[Jeff Crawley]

Speaking as a parent of two daughters you'll never not be the pink bundle we carried out of the hospital oh it seems like a couple of weeks ago.

When Daughter No1 threw in her job and spent three months as a camp councillor in the US and Daughter No2 spent 6 weeks backpacking around Japan I didn't get a decent nights sleep so I understand their concerns.

However I've done six Caminos (so far) and delight in seeing how people of your age group blossom along the way - it does give me hope for the future! I've seen high spirits and silly behaviour but never outright rudeness, anti-social behaviour or blatant substance abuse. On the whole Young Pilgrims are a pretty decent bunch of people. As for the Old Pilgrims . . . well you do have parents, don't you

The advice set out about is sound: national groups, female groups - feed all of that back to your parents. Don't get stubborn but gently point out that you will, one day, be walking the Camino and starting out on your own so why not now rather than later?

I agree with one of the comments above though: in 2018 I walked the Ingles in May and only saw 10 pilgrims and a small bus load of tourists the whole time. I'd suggest the Portuguese from Porto or the Camino Frances from Sarria or, better still, Leon if you have the time.

It's good of you to treat your parents as adults and discuss it with them, I hope they reciprocate!

Buen suerte y Buen Camino!

 

[Jeff Crawley]

Oh, and sit them down to watch Andrew Suzuki's "Don't Stop Walking" on YouTube. Start with

Episode 1

 

[Kimtom]

Good morning everybody,
I am 18 years old girl and I truthfully want to go to Santiago. I have opted for camino inglés as it is the shortest one and I want to try it. But unfortunatelly my parents do not want me to go… I have tried to explain how important is for to me to go. I suggested that they can go with me, but they refused. I suggested that they can follow me with app and I promised that I will keep them informed. And I do not have a personality to go without their permission…They trust me and I do not want to ruin it and carry all the consequences
I will not be alone on the camino as there are a lot of pilgrims and I speak spanish and english fluently and I can handle myself. I completely understand that my parents do not want me to go as I will be travelling alone but I do not know anyone who desires to go. Could you help me please? What would you do? The adventure and travelling is crucial for me and for my well-being, it is the sense of my life. Thank you

You may end up limiting your life if you require your parents permission to do the things you are inspired to do…

Many parents are by nature fearful and will put up roadblocks to anything even vaguely adventurous that offspring come up with to do. At the age of 12 I would look intensely at my horrified parents and say “I have to do this” then hop on my 3 speed bicycle and ride 50 miles to the edge of the ocean and back. It would have been nice to have parents that understood and supported but they were not there. Finally near the end of their lives they began to appreciate that my life is unique and I had my own good path to follow. You too may have to become a teacher for your parents

 

[Mycroft]

You may end up limiting your life if you require your parents permission to do the things you are inspired to do…

Many parents are by nature fearful and will put up roadblocks to anything even vaguely adventurous that offspring come up with to do. At the age of 12 I would look intensely at my horrified parents and say “I have to do this” then hop on my 3 speed bicycle and ride 50 miles to the edge of the ocean and back. It would have been nice to have parents that understood and supported but they were not there. Finally near the end of their lives they began to appreciate that my life is unique and I had my own good path to follow. You too may have to become a teacher for your parents

Finally! Someone who 'gets' it! You are on target, Kimtom, about being who you are and not squeezing your life to suit someone else, even if they are one's parents.
I worried when I read "I am 18 years old girl," girl being the operative word. I hope the perspective will soon change to seeing one's self as a woman.
Having said that, perhaps short, independent breaks near to home leading up to a Camino might ease everyone's mind.

 

[RJM]

Perhaps choose a route more traveled and show your parents that you will not be alone everyday and will be with other pilgrims you age? That would be a compromise of sorts, maybe.
Walk the Frances from O'Cebreiro perhaps. It is a fairly popular starting point.

 

[NorthernLight]

Look for allies amongst your extended family and your parents’ friends. I recall when I was in my early 20s and wanted to backpack around Europe on my own. My parents were worried and only got okay with the idea when I had others backing me up (and that was before the internet and cell phones.)

I’d say the Frances would be safer (in the eyes of parents) than the Inglis because of the popularity and infrastructure.

 

[Glenshiro]

You may end up limiting your life if you require your parents permission to do the things you are inspired to do…

The age of majority in the Czech Republic is 18, so you are no longer a girl, you are an adult woman!

Having said that, I can quite understand that you would not wish to upset your parents. The best way to deal with this is to give them as much information as possible, so as to reassure them. This may be difficult if they don't speak English, but I'm sure there is material available about the Camino in the Czech language.

In several years walking the Camino I have encountered lots of young women in their teens, (the youngest was 16) walking on their own. They all seemed quickly to form mutual support groups, sometimes walking together, sometimes singly, but meeting in the evenings to compare notes and generally hang out.

I know this because, on occasions, they were quite happy to walk and chat with a harmless old git like me (sometimes under the mistaken impression that I knew what I was doing) although I never saw any of them being hassled or the subject of unwanted attention. I second the vote for the Camino Frances. At almost any stage of it you will not be short of companions, and it's probably one of the safest spaces in Europe.

It is a truism that we usually regret the things that we have not done rather than those that we have. As another contributor frequently enthuses: carpe diem!

 

[JabbaPapa]

I needed not much permission at your age ... BUT it was the 1980s, and I was a boy not a girl.

Honestly ?

In your shoes, I would simply start hiking locally, and so reassure them, and show them you're quite serious -- and then wait 'til you're 19.

The Camino isn't going anywhere, but the love that you share with your parents is precious and unique, and so it needs more attention for the time being than some dusty roads might need, in Spain.

As for which Camino route ? Your parents might be happier with a more populous one, especially if you could find others to walk with you, from X to Santiago, in the meantime, and they could learn that you wouldn't be alone -- ideally, some other girls from school or college locally.

Your parents' biggest worry is likely that they're scared of you being alone out in the wilderness -- nobody is ever alone on the Camino, though it's often quite solitary, but if they knew you to be walking with friends, they would be much reassured IMO ...

 

[Former member 92300]

Finally! Someone who 'gets' it! You are on target, Kimtom, about being who you are and not squeezing your life to suit someone else, even if they are one's parents.
I worried when I read "I am 18 years old girl," girl being the operative word. I hope the perspective will soon change to seeing one's self as a woman.

I think a lot of us "get it", however she said she wants to respect her parents wishes. I chose my answer based on her statements. It will be up to her to decide when and if she wants to go against her parents wishes, and begin her own adventure without their approval or support. She is asking for guidance on how to get her parents to see her point of view. She was not asking us for permission to declare her independence from them.

My 18 year old daughter is declaring her independence regularly - but she still wants my approval. Whether she "needs" it or not, she WANTS me to agree with her and support her. What helps us, is to keep lines of communication open and she asks me to help her make plans. Which is what I suggested to the young lady who posted the question.

@elatkd1 There are already some good suggestion here, and I am sure there are others who will chime in later. Use which ever suggestions you think will work for you and keep talking to your parents. And as Klimton and Mycroft stated - you ARE 18, and you CAN make your own decisions. But I do think working with your parents first is probably a good approach - for now. I hope you can get them to see your point of view! If you can't - then you will have to decide for yourself whether or not you want to go against their guidance/wishes and head off on your own. From a legal standpoint - you have every right to make that decision. From a family relationship standpoint - only you can decide whether or not that is the right decision for you.

I really hope you do go on the Camino at some point. Having experienced it myself - I think it is a great experience for a young adult to have. The Camino has a lot to offer to those who participate in the journey.

 

[Evan Lacer]

You may end up limiting your life if you require your parents permission to do the things you are inspired to do…

^^^ This ^^^

Here is my suggestion: tell your parents - in a pleasant and non-confrontational manner - that you will be walking a Camino in the Spring or Summer of 2023. You are not seeking their permission, or asking for their advice; you are just giving them advance notice of your plans, as a courtesy.

If they presume to ‘forbid’ you from following through, don’t argue; just smile serenely, and tell them you’ll miss them but the trip will be a necessary step in your independence. Don’t be drawn into an argument.

As the year passes, they will have time to gradually accept the reality of the situation and may become more accepting, perhaps even mildly supportive. At any rate, by next year you will be 19 and presumably more mature, which can’t do any harm.

 

[Rick of Rick and Peg]

Perhaps your parents are also concerned about your walking in the mountains if they know that the camino crosses the Pyrenees. Knowing where some YouTube videos are that show where you plan to walk will help in case you want to show the videos.

 

[RJM]

I understand the OP's situation. Yes, she is or will be an adult and from a legal perspective she is an adult at 18 and capable of being on her own and not needing to ask anybody permission to walk the Camino, but at the same time she does not want to do anything her parents don't want her to. I've been there. When I decided I wanted to go in the military I was over 18. I had been to the university for a couple of years and a full grown man physically and legally. Yet I talked to my parents before I enlisted, and wanted their approval, permission. I didn't have to do that, but I did. Fortunately they supported my decision.
What would have I done had they not? I figured I would have been a pain in the butt to them constantly bringing up how much I wanted to enlist and they would have given in and eventually said "go dammit!". lol

 

[Aidan21]

The adventure and travelling is crucial for me and for my well-being, it is the sense of my life.

Hi Elatkd1,

If the above is who you are then it is necessary for you to go. To deny this to yourself is to deny who you are. So I think you are going because there is a deep inner need within you that will compel you to go.

But you have a problem; pesky parents. Yeah, I know I am one. But I also know that at 18 years old my children are at a point in their life where they need to be able to make important life decisions for themselves, e.g. what university to attend. Decisions that will take them far from home and far from the immediate comforts of home and family. Your parents will have to let you go some day or some day you are going to go. Your issue seems to be that you need to convince your parents to see the big picture and to get them to understand that saying no to an adult (I assume 18 is adulthood in the CR), will have long term negative consequences.

As others have pointed out the Camino is a very very safe place, even for old ladies never mind fit active 18 year olds. The Frances I think would also be better for a first timer and I think can provide a much better atmosphere from the lesser travelled Caminos.

Do everything you can to bring your parents round to your point of view. And then decide what it is you are going to do. Sooner or later you are going. I hope you can go and do so without the cloud of a family disagreement handing over you. You will always be your parents little girl, but you must first be your own adult.

Aidan

 

[Kanga]

@elatkd1 I echo what others have said - the Camino Ingles is not the best choice.

The Camino Francés (from Sarria if your time is short) is your best choice. Better, I think, than the Portuguese, because it is the traditional "Camino" and you will get the full flavour.

If things do not align for you this year, the Camino will always be there, waiting.

Could I suggest you look to see if there is a local group of Camino enthusiasts with whom you could make contact? I have personally walked with a number of people from the Czech Republic, and if you make some local contacts they may be able to talk to your parents and reassure them. Who knows, it might even inspire your parents! Here is a place to start looking.

 

[Richard Smith]

It was a policy I often employed, give the worst option first and have your preferred option as a backup.

We were taught, to give three options
1) cheap but clearly insufficient
2) medium price and covers what is needed
3) expensive with a few nice to haves

Management reserves the right to choose and wants a range of considered options!

 

[dougfitz]

It was a policy I often employed, give the worst option first and have your preferred option as a backup.

I have daughters who would try that on too! One of them now faces having her own daughter repeat her mother's behaviours, both good and bad.

For the OP, parents can be funny things, and we clearly cover a broad range of different outlooks. I wanted my children to be as independent as possible as soon as they felt capable of doing that. At your age or shortly after, they had left home to study or work, although my two daughters did return for different lengths of time a few years after their first foray into independent living. I also wanted them to be safe, but also knew that if I hadn't managed to give them a strong foundation during their childhood, it was probably too late when they became adults to try and hold them back.

My younger daughter's first 'adventure' was to travel solo across Australia from Melbourne to Perth, broadly equivalent to travelling from London to Moscow but without the many borders.

Do your parents know why they don't want you to do this? What skills haven't you acquired so far in life do they think you need to successfully plan and execute what is, at its core, a pretty simple and safe walking activity? And what are they doing to help you garner those skills they think you lack? There must be many places that would be far less safe and secure for getting this experience.

 

[good_old_shoes]

If you need to go, you need to go. I was >30 when I first walked, and my parents tried to scare me off from doing it. If you wait for permission, it might never come.

I planned everything, told them when the plan was 100% and I had already bought the tickets. I probably would have backed out if I had tried to get 'permission' first. When my parents saw how well I had planned, and that there was a plan B and C for everything, they were less worried.

They still do worry though, every single time I go, even though I have walked several thousand kms in four countries by now.

Long distance walking and spending time alone is just not something they have ever done, and it is so far out of their comfort zone that they can not imagine what it's like. They imagine discomfort, loneliness and dangers - all kinds of negatives that are not necessarily based on your walking reality.

So I'd say that it's probably a good idea to try and explain them why you want to do it. But it is your decision. Show them that it is really important to you, and that you know what you're doing - if they realize that you're well prepared and that this is something that's really very important to you, they will hopefully understand. If not - it's still your decision. You need to live your life, not theirs.

 

[Harland2019]

Your comment reminds me of The Way when Martin Sheen is driving his son to the airport after the son has made the decision to drop out of graduate school and travel the world. The son asks the father to join him on his journey and the father tells him that “my life here might not seem like much to you, but it’s the life I choose” the son looks at him and makes what appears to be a very simple statement about life, “you don’t choose a life, dad. You live one.”

 

[muddy-mama]

I walked the Frances last year and agree it is a great first time Camino you are never alone even last year when there were fewer pilgrims. I understand you want to keep your parents on board I was the same with my daughter although at 68 I was going to go whatever. I worked hard to get her to understand my wish to go. I had backup plans
Plan A walk from SJPP to Santiago
Plan B have my pack transferred
Plan C bus or train part of the way
Plan Z give up and fly home.
I explained all this to her she still didn't think I would finish but I went with her blessing. I walked from Roncesvalles every step of the way, except taking the horse up O'Cebero, but had my pack transferred most days and walked into Santiago a happy pilgrim.
Talk to your parents explain their worries and enjoy your Camino

 

[Vince Rollason]

Good morning everybody,
I am 18 years old girl and I truthfully want to go to Santiago. I have opted for camino inglés as it is the shortest one and I want to try it. But unfortunatelly my parents do not want me to go… I have tried to explain how important is for to me to go. I suggested that they can go with me, but they refused. I suggested that they can follow me with app and I promised that I will keep them informed. And I do not have a personality to go without their permission…They trust me and I do not want to ruin it and carry all the consequences
I will not be alone on the camino as there are a lot of pilgrims and I speak spanish and english fluently and I can handle myself. I completely understand that my parents do not want me to go as I will be travelling alone but I do not know anyone who desires to go. Could you help me please? What would you do? The adventure and travelling is crucial for me and for my well-being, it is the sense of my life. Thank you

Hello
I can only reply to you as a 69-year-old grandfather with four Caminos behind him. I have always started my journeys walking alone but have never been alone, if you understand my meaning. I guess your parents are concerned for your safety and while I can understand this, they need not worry it would be the experience of a lifetime for you. I have met and walked for days at a time with people of all ages and backgrounds including 18-year-old girls walking alone and 84-year-old men walking alone. Everyone looks out for each other on the Camino and help is never far away. "The Camino provides" and you will quickly understand this. On 27th May I am going to walk the last 100k of Camino Frances with my two granddaughters aged 10 and 7 along with my son-in-law. The girls have a shell each from my Caminos and as soon as they are old enough, they plan to emulate granddad and do the whole way alone. I think the eldest may well try and go at 16 and I would send them with my blessing. If you can establish what your parents' reservations are and would like to send me a private message, I would be happy to try to use my experience to set their minds at rest. I really hope you make it.
Buen Camino.
Vince

 

[Anniesantiago]

Here is a photo-heavy blog post I did that shows much of the Camino track, including the days on the Pyrenees - maybe SEEing it might help convince them?

Camino Terrain

In the end, I'm probably not the person to ask.
When I was 17, I ran away to Puerto Rico.

My mother passed away 2 days ago, STILL not understanding my call to travel, and I'll be 70 in August!
Some parents just don't ...
My advice is to do what your heart calls you to do.

 

[JCarpenter]

Oh, and sit them down to watch Andrew Suzuki's "Don't Stop Walking" on YouTube. Start with

Episode 1

No, no! That one mentions coping with "lots of red wine" and mentions every ailment you might face. Skip that one!

 

[martin1ws]

Maybe you can try both get your parents permission and go if you have to without it.
You can set a deadline where you go from the best possibility (going with the permission of your parents) to the second best solution (going because you really want to go even without permission).
I do not know where to set the perfect deadline... maybe two weeks are a little bit too short... and two years maybe are a little bit too long - but I am not sure of this. Well, for me it took 8 years from being really being interested in the Camino to starting my first one in Somport... but I really think you should not wait that long if you only wait for your parents' permission.

There is so much good advice here in this thread, just try some of it.

"... I speak spanish and english fluently..." If you speak Spanish fluently, do you have Spanish friends or related people? Maybe those people can help you to convince your parents... walking the Camino as a 18 year old girl is probably much more normal for Spanish people than for your parents.

Buen Camino!

 

[C clearly]

An 18-year-old is at a transition point between childhood and adulthood. We all know that individuals have widely different competencies, and parents also have very different attitudes. Even the two parents will often disagree! This sounds like one of many decisions that parents and youth need to work out - a huge amount of angst and theorizing and cultural analysis are not particularly helpful.

I don't think we should cast this as a decision that will set the course of @elatkd1's future. This is a decision of whether to go on a particular trip! There are many factors involved, and she needs to consider each of them and try to find a solution that will be satisfactory. People need to do this at all stages of their lives - we have people posting "My spouse is not happy with my plans; should I go anyway?" Invariably, on this Camino forum of Camino fanatics, the consensus will be to go, no matter what.

@elatkd1 - You have a lot of interesting challenges at this point in your life. We have no idea of why your parents might be opposed to this trip, so I would not make the recommendation that you defy them. Try to understand their reasons and resolve them. If this year doesn't work out, next year might.

 

[Grammy Kin]

I want to say that you are a good and kind person. Sure, you could thumb your nose at your parents and flounce off, but you’re not doing that. You are taking their feelings into consideration. For you, eighteen years has been a long time, for them, a short time, and there are lots of emotions bound up in this situation. Many good suggestions have been offered, and however you choose to proceed, I wish you and your parents well. They are lucky to have you, and you them.

 

[Rebekah Scott]

May I suggest that you join Camigas, a FB page just for women who walk or want to walk one of the Camino routes. Many women meet up with each other, at least at the start. Perhaps if you meet someone who wants to walk the same time and route as you, you could then talk your parents into it.

I don't think that would be particularly helpful. That group has a lot of great people, but it's a Fear of the Week listing for some of them... they love sharing tales of bedbugs, flashers, viruses, snorers, greasy french fries, toxins, getting lost, not finding beds, and fashion faux pas. The consumerism can get a bit heavy too. If her parents read that stuff they'll conclude their daughter must spend thousands on expedition-worthy gear before she takes on the latest camino horrors.

 

[Rebekah Scott]

If you want to help convince your parents about the trip, get in touch with your Czech Camino Pilgrims' group: https://ultreia.cz/en/home/. Get to know some of them, check out some local hikes on your local Camino trail with local camino fans, perhaps have your parents come along too, and see what kind of people do this strange thing. Maybe you can start out your camino with a fellow Czech pilgrim, which might put your parents' minds at ease.

 

[domigee]

I am replying as a mother of four children (all grown-up) and every time they tell me they’re doing such and such a thing…. i worry! I can’t help it! That is what mothers do
Now, as an 18 yr old, I didn’t do lots of things that were available to me because it was unthinkable then, as far as my family was concerned. I was very good and I didn’t want to upset them, so I didn’t. Do you know, to this day I regret it!
My advice, for what it’s worth is…. Talk to them, give them your plans so they know where you are but… DO IT.

 

[Bristle Boy]

I am a father of three boys. No matter how hard I tried the daughter eluded me.
I am now a grandfather. Like every parent I am programmed to protect and advise my own. If I've done my job right then I would have prepared them well for the experiences (good or bad) that they will encounter through life. Sometimes I did this well...sometimes not.
That is my stage of life.

I notice that this is possibly your early foray on the forum and, like any post that asks advice, you will get a myriad of "advice" that will come out like the blossoms of Spring.

I can offer you no advice as I don't know you beyond your being an "18 year old girl." The only thing i can share is the concern and worry of your parents as i would feel no different. Your parents sound wonderful and the best you can do is to mitigate their worries by being aware of some of the difficulties you may (or may not) encounter.

By listening to their worries, and they your wishes, you are well on the way.

 

[ApproachingBliss]

Are you funding your trip on your own or do you need their help financially?
You've said: "And I do not have a personality to go without their permission…They trust me and I do not want to ruin it and carry all the consequences"
What are the consequences based on your past experience? General consequence, natural consequences? Or do you mean consequences from your parents?

I hope you do decide to go and have a wonderful time. Travel opens up the world.

 

[JCarpenter]

Dear Wonderful young lady, rather than girl,
I once was an 18 girl, oh so many years ago. I now have a 25 year old daughter. It takes presence and strength to be respectful of your parents, it is not a failing or weakness. I would say, your adventures will come! I am a retired Officer of Marines, one in the first company of female officers permitted to carry a sword, and that was just the beginning of my adventures. My regrets? I wish I had been more respectful to my parents, written more letters, etc, worried them less, and asked for their thoughts on personal matters. I thought that because I was a good leader of Marines, my good judgement there would translate to other areas of my life. You are well grounded and that will serve you well. I doubt their worry is from a lack of confidence in you. Perhaps you could save enough to include them in your journey? They can be your ground crew? Staying in a town just ahead for the day, scouting out the best places to eat, etc. Finding the museums. They would enjoy it. But patience. You will have your adventures.

 

[williamlittig]

Would it help your parents if you had the support of an organized tour? We put our wolves out into the world early and they learned to survive, our parenting might not be the example you're parents want you to see, all are different. With the suggestion of joining a group would your parents soften their position? Is there an affordable tour you could join?

 

[C clearly]

A number of opinions and suggestions have been made to the OP, but this thread addresses issues that go beyond Camino advice and experiences, and get into personal circumstances. So the thread will be closed.

Good luck to @elatkd1 and feel free to post new threads with Camino planning questions!