How do Your Camino Amigos influence your route?

[Robo]

In a recent post, a 'frequent flyer' Pilgrim mentioned that they would not want to plan on walking an alternative final 100kms on the Camino Frances, as it would mean separating from friends they might make along the way.

That got me thinking. And of course it's a very personal thing.

But it might be a topic that would interest those planning their first Camino, in that it illustrates how we build strong relationships fast on the Camino, and how that can influence our Camino day to day.

Q. How much do your 'Camino Amigos' influence your journey and in particular your route and daily stopping places?

I would say from a personal viewpoint, not at all.
But that would not be 100% true.

Camino #1 on the Frances. I was not really influenced by Camino Amigos at all. Basically because I was walking injured from Day 1. And so my daily distance 'ability' soon had me falling behind and making new friends on a regular basis. As I was walking alone (perhaps a factor) I made new friends easily. And we would often compare plans to see if we were staying in the same villages and arrange shared dinners etc. But after a few days they would again move on ahead.

Camino #2 and 3. I was walking with Pat. So we had our own company and were walking quite short daily distances. We tended to keep to ourselves more and were not so influenced in any way by others. Is that a 'thing' when walking as a couple?

Camino #4, Was a hybrid of 4 routes. And again alone. Bliss....... I did not expect my journey to be influenced by others much, but it was, a bit. It's nice when you really 'connect' with other Pilgrims along the way.

For 10 days or so I walked with 2 Pilgrims (a couple) and we generally stopped in the same places and stayed in the same accommodations, shared meals etc. Then they went left and I went right, on the route. And we parted company. I didn't consider changing my route plans to stick together. (our differing routes were known up front). We still catch up, as we live in the same City.

Then a few days later I buddied up with 2 guys walking together and we got on really well. Same thing. We generally walked to the same places, often stayed in the same accommodations, hung out for meals etc. That was great too.

But after 2 weeks they were headed one way and I was headed off on another route. Did we consider changing our plans to remain hanging out together? Not for a minute. Again, our differing route plans were known up front.

Though we did arrive in Santiago within a day of each other so we caught up for a lunch and dinner. Again, we still stay in touch. Though we are on different sides of the 'pond'.

So my Camino Amigos 'do' influence my Camino at times, in terms of how far I am walking and where I stop, and maybe what accommodation I might use. Particularly on a more remote route. But do they influence the actual route I am taking?
No.
Not so far, anyway.

But I'm sure for others, their Camino Amigos or Camino 'Family' is a very important part of their journey.
So I can understand how that might influence or alter plans along the way.
(maybe first time Pilgrims take note, and don't book too far ahead?)

What are your thoughts?

Is your Camino influenced in terms of time and distance and route, by those you befriend along the way?
Not at all?
A bit?

I have to confess to being a bit 'torn'
I love walking alone and the solitude.
15 days on the Invierno alone was magical.

But it's also a great experience walking with those with whom you have made a deep connection.

Maybe a bit of both is the best of both Worlds?

Afterthought.
For those who may be inclined to try to 'keep up' with pilgrim friends.
It can be sad to part from friends.
But every time I have done so, I have met other 'friends' fairly quickly.

Perhaps it's the nature and the magic of the Camino?

 

[Walkerooni]

For me, not at all. Have never fallen into the "Camino family " myth. I have a family, thanks. I walk as far as I want to walk in a day, at the pace I prefer. As such, I meet many people walking a similar pace, and similar distances, but don't feel the need to tie myself to them, nor have them tie themselves to me. It is very special when you meet like-minded people surreptitiously, maybe connecting every few days, or once a week, or... Those excited and awkward hugs while wearing backpacks hold a special place in my heart. I have made many dear friends I have kept in touch with over time. But I would say I am content to meet whoever I meet along the way while doing the walk I would like to do.

 

[isawtman]

In Sept 2022 I did the Camino Frances and I became really fond of my Camino Friends. I was hiking with a mixture of young people and older people. Hiking with the young people brought out my fatherly instincts again which I did not expect. We spent the night together in Riego De Ambrose after doing Cruz de Ferro. Then they decided to do bigger miles and I couldn't keep up. Before that I was getting my backpack transferred so I could keep up. They said I would catch up to them in Santiago, but here is what happened.
When I got to Santiago, I contacted them and they said they would be in Fisterra/Finnesterre the next night. So I took the bus out there and it was a great time. It was really the icing on the cake. You can see my young friends on this video of best moments on the Camino Frances here:

 

[Damien Reynolds]

I basically plan my first week of any camino, and I go to the places I want to go exclusively. (These are usually "favorite" stops arranged according to my distance/timing goals.)

But if I meet a compatible person or group, and my timing allows, I can adjust my pace and distance for the sake of camaraderie. I usually find compatible people means they speak English, they are cool, they think I'm cool, they have similar financial means and hopefully a similar "end date" in mind... most importantly, they want friends too...

Sometimes I have an aggressive agenda where I have strict distance and timing requirements. Sometimes I'm in "let's find friends" mode. I usually decide to commit to one or the other based on the people I meet.

If I am open to find friends but haven't really clicked with anyone yet, I do a thing I call "skipping the herd". That is basically doing 2 stages in one day or 3 stages in 2 days. I get to meet a whole new group of people that way,

I no longer expect every camino to mean meeting more forever friends... I have met so many out there, and it's rare... It just depends.

 

[Bradypus]

Not at all. Meeting up with familiar faces now and again happens of course but I do not plan my stages with that in mind.

 

[roving_rufus]

I tend to be quite independent in planning where I would stop (which probably explains some of my more crazy ideas like walking frm home). Though sometimes on busier routes like the CF the plans of others you meet can influence maybe the next day or two - if they have a particular albergue recommendation or somewhere to avoid.

However in June when I was finishing up the camino from home walking in sections I did my last section of Rabanal to Leon, I discovered I outwalked most folks I met - including doing that Sarria to SdeC in 4 days. This meant when I arrived in SdeC I didn't really see familiar faces - and hung out with 2 pilgrims who had walked the Primitivo I met the night before in A Calle de Ferrerios. (Both of whom were lovely in their own ways). It was 2 days later as I walked backwards on the CF for 12km that I met a good number of familiar faces.
It was a very different experience than my first arrival into SdeC in 2012 on the CF from Leon when I walked closer to the "normal" stages and saw many more familiar faces in 2 days in SdeC to celebrate with.

Then again my arrival on the CP was in January a few years back. I met so few pilgrims so I arrived in SdeC alone. But it was so quiet- there were no crowds of either tourists or pilgrims. I got one of the free tickets to tour the cathedral in the pilgrim office. And somehow I didn't feel I was missing familiar camino faces- but then I wasn't feeling lost in the crowd either.


So basically- in a "in season" SdeC full of pilgrims and tourists- I think I would be swayed by having some familiar faces to celebrate with- which would mean having some coordination in those last days. But I don't think I would plan my whole walk around others.

 

[Donna Sch]

On my first Camino which I did solo, I walked half of it with a fellow Pilgrim who walked the same speed as me and we shared a similar sense of humour and music. And he is a Spaniard who lives in the UK. The Camino provided!
I had a rest day in Galisteo when he caught up with his brother for a day. At one point we diverted onto the Southern variant of the VDLP because he needed to get to a bank.
And we joined up with a French guy along the Sanabres. It was so nice celebrating St James' Eve together and watching the fireworks before we all headed off in different directions.
Second Camino I did with my partner Barrie. The Levante and Invierno in Feb/Mar are pretty damn quiet. I probably would walk longer days by myself and the days I did walk solo as Barrie took a train or bus because his asthma flared up were a nice change.

 

[SabsP]

For me, not at all. Have never fallen into the "Camino family " myth. I have a family, thanks. I walk as far as I want to walk in a day, at the pace I prefer. As such, I meet many people walking a similar pace, and similar distances, but don't feel the need to tie myself to them, nor have them tie themselves to me. It is very special when you meet like-minded people surreptitiously, maybe connecting every few days, or once a week, or... Those excited and awkward hugs while wearing backpacks hold a special place in my heart. I have made many dear friends I have kept in touch with over time. But I would say I am content to meet whoever I meet along the way while doing the walk I would like to do.

Exactly! Family I have at home. Friends I may or not make on a Camino.

This is what I wrote earlier this year on another thread.

Yes, group dynamics.
It was in Obanos , on that first Camino for me that I met a Dutch lady ( the fact that we heard each other talking in English with a Lowlands accent made us laugh and we continued in Dutch ).
Anyway, we met daily ( did never walk together though ) and more or less chose the same albergues for the next weeks. But in Calzadilla de la Cueza she decided to slow down a bit ( partly because of kneeproblems ) and decided to do some shorter distances while I continued and we said goodbye to each other. Everything in a very friendly way ( we met in later years for local walks here ).
I remember how strange some of our fellow pilgrims found this. One even accused me of abandoning " my Camino sister ".

 

[Paul-CH]

What are your thoughts?

I do my camino planing at home from start to the end.
If there are holidays in it and I have doubts about getting a place to sleep, then I book in advance. Otherwise, I hike my 20 - 35 km and decide around midday whether I'll stick to my plan or continue hiking and then have to adjust my planning. For most people, I'm walking too fast anyway. I can adjust my pace a little, but never for very long. This means that I meet up with the people I know again in the evening when we are in the same place. I never actually deviate from the planned route unless a detour forces me to.

 

[davejsy]

Well for me yes, it did alter mine, but, I only have one under my belt for comparison!

I walked the first few days after Orisson with an Austrian girl, Sarah, both of us were trying to avoid other people so it was quite ironic we befriended each other and we got on really well. But, Sarah was on a mission to get to Santiago de C ASAP and I felt that wasn't how I wanted my Camino to be, so we parted ways in Pamplona. It was very difficult as Sarah had become a bit of a safety blanket for those first few days stepping out on this unknown adventure in a bit of a vulnerable state.

Then I was on my own for the next 10 days or so, but bumping into familiar faces as I went and sometimes spending hours talking to different people without feeling the need to stay with them. I then started crossing paths with 2 French people who I wrongly assumed were a couple, one of whom had a dog. As I was walking the Camino to try and help my grief of losing my dog this had an element of fate to it, and eventually we ended up walking the last two weeks together which altered the end of my Camino to a degree along with the worsening weather and the increased traffic from Sarria. It just felt a bit more rushed and focused than the early days when it seemed it would never end.

But, it makes me wonder, how do we know if it altered our Camino or not? I have an idea in my mind that mine might have been different, but maybe it wouldn't have been. I think unless you have set stops and you alter them directly because of someone else then that's more obvious than if you are already walking without any other plan but to arrive in Santiago de C at some point.

It's a very interesting subject and I guess greatly influenced by your original reason for walking the Camino.

 

[suseia]

I have always walked my three caminos (never entirely unlikely) wit my wife so in a couple..we have planned before our stages and we respected our plans also because they were adapted to our rytm of walking.. We really appreciated camino's cameraderie and in particolar the international atmosphere on the frances and on the portugaise. We didn't change our plans but at the some time i think that the pilgrimage is also a collective experience.. Istinctively i am not so attracted by other caminos with few pilgrims.. In any case very interisting and stimulating topic!!

 

[lt56ny]

I remember how strange some of our fellow pilgrims found this. One even accused me of abandoning " my Camino sister ".

I say thanks to @SabsP for helping me to encapsulate how I have arrived at the joy that I receive in walking alone. Of course this one statement from the accuser of abandoning her "camino sister" is not the only reason I like to spend more and more camino time alone but it really was one of the main catalysts for me.
When I first walked I had never heard a mention of a "camino family". People walked and there were far less albergues than there are today so there was a good chance of meeting a friendly face or 4 or 5 and if there were kitchen facilities having a dinner at the albergue where we would invite everyone to chip in and join in. I started to meet pilgrims on subsequent caminos who had injuries and would suffer and drag themselves to stay with "camino friends or families". I would tell them they are not your family in any way. Would your mom or dad or spouse let you walk in the shape you are in? Would they leave you behind? Of course not. I have also learned, for myself at least, walking too fast or far or too slow or too short a distance is very detrimental to me both physically and disrupts my natural rhythm that I have established and would diminish my camino experience. I have found over time that when I am on the CF for a short time (I do love the meseta and will still walk it at times) that often"camino families" and at times some "close" friendships have evolved from being inclusive to all to exclusive to those in the "family". I have seen on many occasions, myself (who I am an extrovert and do reach out to people) or others will speak to another pilgrim. But then come dinner that pilgrim joins their "family" without even a polite invite to see if you would like to join them. This did not happen in my first couple of caminos.
This may seem rambling to you but for me the whole idea of altering your camino is counter to the reason I am walking. It ties in to the things I have mentioned.
But if you think i am totally wrong, and you place great importance into those you meet than by all means keep doing what you are doing. Who cares what I think haha.
I will close with two statements. I have still met and bonded with so many absolutely fantastic people who I will always remember and some I still stay in touch with occasionally.
Also I am sure @SabsP handled the accusation of abandonment with grace and class. I always read what she writes. Me, I would have told the person to go stick it where the sun doesn't shine. But of course in a much more descriptive manner and tone.

 

[J Willhaus]

Most pilgrims walk faster than Phil and I so usually we only make friends for a very short time. Walk your own pace, is my advice.

 

[JesperK]

I think it depends on what your goal is. I use the camino to unwind and disconnect. But I do tend to meet people without planning it in any way. I'm naturally social, open & talkative - and often seem to attract company. It has more than a few times led me to stay at hotels to have some quiet time or to start walking around 3-4 at night for the same reason. The family thing is definitely not a myth - but just a possible part of the camino experience. One morning in Astorga at 4 o'clock I began walking and arriving in Ganso - found myself in a group that invited me to breakfast when we arrived in Rabbanal.

So I can ask again: why are we walking the camino? We all have different motivations and they change for every camino we walk.

 

[Peterexpatkiwi]

How much do your 'Camino Amigos' influence your journey and in particular your route and daily stopping places?

My journey? Significantly. Walking for as little as half an hour with one good person can absolutely make my day.

My route? I was going to say 'not at all' but then realized that I would have to add a caveat 'unless they have information I don't' for example, a worthwhile variant.

Daily stopping places? Definitely, because I seldom care where I stop. If I am enjoying the company and they have a worthwhile suggestion of course I will consider it. Whether that means stopping as early as 20 kilometers or walking a little further than normal and walking 35.

That said, I'm not about to change my entire walk to suit somebody else. If I'm slower/faster I'm slower/faster.
Or if we get to the suggested stop and the place isn't that inviting/ I'm still rearing to go, then I will walk on, grateful for the time we shared and hoping to meet them again in the future.

 

[SabsP]

I say thanks to @SabsP for helping me to encapsulate how I have arrived at the joy that I receive
Also I am sure @SabsP handled the accusation of abandonment with grace and class. I always read what she writes. Me, I would have told the person to go stick it where the sun doesn't shine. But of course in a much more descriptive manner and tone.

My eyes can speak. Loudly .

After reading your post I suddenly remember one evening in Ledigos in 2017. An Australian older couple and I chatted during the day and they invited me to join for dinner at albergue la Morena. So I did. At the table there were also two younger girls that seemed to have a bond with the couple. Those girls were quite passive aggresive towards me as if I was " stealing " their parents. Anyway, I stayed polite especially seeing the older couple was so nice.
But never joined them afterwards because I felt left out.
I never belonged to cliques at school and I am not going to join them now.

 

[CTLawGal]

I've only done one Camino, so my experience is limited. I did not become part of a "family", I'm not sure that's really my thing, despite strong maternal instincts, ha!

I sometimes stopped for coffee or lunch if I was walking with someone I enjoyed talking with, but didn't otherwise alter plans or arrange to meet someone the next morning. However, I would often catch up, unintentionally, to someone I had met previously, or they caught up with me, walk several hours or more together. Also often find we were all stopping at the same destination and end up having dinner together, or just drinks.

But it really does alter the dynamics of your Camino, in some ways that are good, and very good, but I enjoy solitude and when walking with someone I found I took fewer pictures and didn't absorb the scenery as much as when walking alone. Also, when you're walking with someone, it seemed less likely to meet others - or at least I felt less likely to engage when passing (or being passed by) a group, whether a couple or larger, walking together, than I was passing (or being passed by) a single person. On the other hand, there were some long stages where I was grateful for the distraction of talking. And I was always so happy to see those I had met earlier stopping at the same destination - this may be more likely on the Norte/Primitivo route where there aren't as many options for stopping.

I enjoyed walking with those who were on a slower pace, usually walking on ahead after an hour or so at the slower pace; I also once walked with someone who was definitely faster than I was, he was French (militaire a la retraite, if I remember correctly) - it was a cold and drizzly day, so I decided to try to keep his pace (he was suffering from some injury, and was not unhappy to walk with me since I kept him from going too fast, hahaha!). While I was able to keep up, I didn't enjoy the day as much; also, it felt awkward to pause for pictures, or even just to admire a vista, since I felt I was slowing him down. But it was a useful lesson in walking my own pace. The next time our paths crossed, I told him he was too fast for me and let him go on his way, but we enjoyed meeting up in the evenings for dinner.

As I left the Norte for the Primitivo, I left behind some new friends who changed plans due to injury, continuing on the Norte instead of heading south on the Primitivo. And, the further I traveled on the Primitivo, the more friends I left behind as they took rest days and I didn't (and a few who accelerated their pace to finish more quickly). As I got closer to Santiago, I came to the realization that after making so many incredible friends along the way, I was going to enter Santiago alone - my friends were either ahead or behind me, and that while I enjoy my solitude, I felt incredibly sad not to be able to share the walk into Santiago with anyone I knew.

Then, in Arzua I bumped into one of my friends who had continued on the Norte but who I thought was at least 2-3 days behind me; by the time we entered Santiago together, nearly every other person who was behind me had managed to finish on that same day, incredible. Another couple that was 3-4 days behind, ended up taking a bus to Finisterre, arriving just after I completed the walk there, bringing overwhelming feelings of happiness to see them again.

And so, while I don't think anyone altered their plans to converge with mine, we all ended up together, with a great celebratory dinner in Santiago - and for me, most of all, a lesson for this solitary walker, that while we think we want solitude, our hearts may want something more, and when we're lucky, the universe cooperates.

But yeah, I still like walking alone too!

 

[Takahiwai]

Twice I was affected, both times on my very first camino.

First time: arrived at Puente la Reina after doing a double-stage day, having been chased for a couple of lonely kms by a flasher/verbal abuser. I met Dalva Maria the following day at sunrise. She was preparing to set off for her day's walk. I hadn't met her the day I arrived because her routine was to arrive, gorge herself on a menu del dia, and then go to sleep in the refuge until 5 the next morning, when she would get up and prepare for departure. After several days of ending up in the same refuge, when I got to Logroño, I decided to get ahead of her, so I walked all the way to Azofra, because I wasn't sure where she would stop.

Later in that camino, again doing a double stage, and entering Mansilla de las Mulas at dusk, I encountered a Belgian pilgrim lying in the grass and watching the sky. It transpired that the 'camino family' he belonged to consisted of a group of 5 men, all individually lovely, and a young Barcelona/Madrid couple, working in fringe theatre. After several days of walking with these people, when we all finally arrived at Rabanal, I decided that I needed to separate from the 'family'. The five men all had their eyes on the Spanish lady, and were making the couple's lives a misery in an attempt to separate them. I chose to spend an extra day in Rabanal just to let them all get ahead of me, because the atmosphere had become so poisonous.

I've never had a problem since.

 

[Rita Flower]

Wow - so many interesting comments and experiences. It seems the term ‘Camino Family’ arose some time after my first Camino in 2007. Feels like a strange concept to me.
I walk with people when it works for me or seems right; and alone when that works for me. I enjoy walking with others but basically prefer solo days - and will often split from a person or group as I find I can become too influenced by their presence and lose my own focus.
I often hang with a group if they are good company and walking at my pace. But break off after a week or so to be alone again.
I changed my plans for a Camino buddy once - but that was to support them when they were having some health problems.
I tend not to stay connected with Camino buddies after a Camino - but that’s just my tendency toward an avoidant attachment style.
The disfunctional side of Camino ‘families’ leaves me sad but I guess everyone is on their own learning curve.

EDIT
However I now recall in 2007 a group of young boys walking together. I assumed they were great friends but at Finistere had a long talk with one of the lads who was having real difficulties with some of the group - but couldn’t seem to break away. And another woman who confessed she was walking with a Camino buddy/bloke she didn’t really like and didn’t understand why she hadn’t split form him.