Finding Accommodation in SJPP without Communal Meals or Public Speaking

[JTD]

Hello, a bit of an unusual first post perhaps! I have tried using the search function of the forum but my question is quite specific.
I will be walking the Camino Frances from SJPP starting on or around 1st May (flight not yet booked).
I would really like to hear your recommendation for places to stay in SJPP where there is no communal meal. On my first Camino in 2012 I stayed at L'espirit du chemin and although it was a beautiful albergue, I did not appreciate being expected to introduce myself and state my reasons for walking to the rest of the guests at dinner. I understand that this is to build camaraderie among pilgrims and for many is a special part of their own journey, but it is just something that I personally do not enjoy and wish to avoid. I certainly would not want to be the only pilgrim who refuses to stand up and speak, but it would make me very uncomfortable. This is not a snipe at any albergue or gite where this takes place, and no offence is intended. It is purely down to my own personal anxieties.

 

[trecile]

Gite Biden. The communal dinner is optional.

Gîte Bidean | Albergue de Peregrinos en Saint-Jean-Pied-de-Port / Donibane Garazi | Gronze.com

Información del albergue de peregrinos Gîte Bidean, en Saint-Jean-Pied-de-Port / Donibane Garazi: Precio, plazas, características, etc...

www.gronze.com

 

[Former member 92300]

Even if you stay at an albergue in SJPDP that does a communal dinner, you always have the option of going out to dinner independently. Otherwise - just look for any albergue that doesn't do the Communal dinner. Many don't. I skipped a couple communal meals along the way because of dietary needs.

 

[Grousedoctor]

We, too, last stayed at Gite Bidean. As @trecile said, the group dinner was optional, but more importantly for the purpose of your thread, introductions or public speaking were not part of the evening meal. Just a group of pilgrims sitting around chatting and enjoying dinner. Both private rooms and dorm beds were available.

I, too, would avoid any place where there was the expectation to state my intentions for being on the Camino in front of a group of strangers. Although such a thing is well intended, it should not be imposed upon anyone nor should anyone be made to feel uncomfortable if they chose not to participate. Being perhaps a more private person than some, I had no difficulty building a sense of “camaraderie” with my fellow pilgrims the moment I began my first steps toward SdC.

 

[Flog]

Hello, a bit of an unusual first post perhaps! I have tried using the search ...

I can understand where you're coming from regarding an expectation to speak or perform in front of others. I have stayed in a good number of places over the years where this is considered the norm (I can think of two such places in particular that get frequent gushing reviews on this site, one on the Portuguese and one on the Frances, almost, it seems to me, to the point of being considered some sort of rite of passage). Some clearly revel in it, others are clearly embarrassed.

Not always an easy or popular thing to do, but it's perfectly acceptable to politely opt out...

Edit:
It would be a shame to miss out:
there are lots of great albergues out there that provide a communal meal without the expectation or obligation for you to perform in any way..

 

[Former member 92300]

I can understand where you're coming from regarding an expectation to speak or perform in front of others. I have stayed in a good number of places over the years where this is considered the norm (I can think of two such places in particular that get frequent gushing reviews on this site, one on the Portuguese and one on the Frances, almost, it seems to me, to the point of being considered some sort of rite of passage). Some clearly revel in it, others are clearly embarrassed.

Not always an easy or popular thing to do, but it's perfectly acceptable to politely opt out...

Edit:
It would be a shame to miss out:
there are lots of great albergues out there that provide a communal meal without the expectation or obligation for you to perform in any way..

I know I rave about the one of the Frances. But it depends on the individual. Like the OP - I have a great deal of anxiety about public speaking and meeting new people. For me, staying in this particular albergue helps me get started. For others it is just too much. Normally I suggest giving these places a try anyway - but the OP has already stated he did a Camino previously and it is too much. I am OK with being asked to introduce myself especially if I am not one of the first couple of people - for me what pushes me over the edge is when people try to force me to sing or something lol. Nope. Certainly not solo and probably not in a small group.

And yes - I would say most albergues do not have a requirement to speak in any way during the communal dinner. I too liked Gite Bideon - but when I walked the Frances - many places were not doing their communal dinners due to COVID. I did not have dinner there so can't comment.

 

[Camino Chrissy]

I have never personally encountered an albergue dinner expecting me to personally share why I am walking. I enjoy communal dinners occasionally, but often choose to opt out when asked at check-in. I've always walked with family or friend and we often enjoy our own company at dinner. If I were walking alone, I would probably always choose the communal dinners offered as they are a great opportunity to meet interesting people from "everywhere".

 

[RJM]

There's no obligation at any albergue to attend a communal meal. I've stayed at albergues before that had a communal meal but I had already made arrangements to meet other pilgrims for dinner at a restaurant. Not that big a deal to not attend the communal.
I also don't care for that whole introduction thing too. It reminds me of alcoholic anonymous meetings I've seen parodied in movies and such. I'd just as soon skip that part. I know some pilgrims like the whole kid's summer camp atmosphere routine that occurs at some albergues but I'll pass.
Just stay where you want to stay and do whatever you want to do in regards to meals.

 

[DyanTX]

Gite Ultreia is a very nice place with no communal meal. Breakfast is provided but it's a come and go affair so no public speaking. I think Orisson was the only place we stayed where folks got up and introduced themselves even if the meal was communal.

 

[howardd5]

Hello, a bit of an unusual first post perhaps! I have tried using the search function of the forum but my question is quite specific.
I will be walking the Camino Frances from SJPP starting on or around 1st May (flight not yet booked).
I would really like to hear your recommendation for places to stay in SJPP where there is no communal meal. On my first Camino in 2012 I stayed at L'espirit du chemin and although it was a beautiful albergue, I did not appreciate being expected to introduce myself and state my reasons for walking to the rest of the guests at dinner. I understand that this is to build camaraderie among pilgrims and for many is a special part of their own journey, but it is just something that I personally do not enjoy and wish to avoid. I certainly would not want to be the only pilgrim who refuses to stand up and speak, but it would make me very uncomfortable. This is not a snipe at any albergue or gite where this takes place, and no offence is intended. It is purely down to my own personal anxieties.

I also stayed there once and ate there which I believe was required . My next Camino planning I called them are ask for a reservation and said yes to dinner and no to breakfast, they replied that they require both. I was meeting someone for breakfast. No matter, required . I canceled the reservation. I don’t like to be told what I must do . I stayed at one across the street , I wish I knew the name , they also offered a communal dinner and talked to everyone casually there, my choice. I did see these Pilgrims the whole way and was glad of a friendly face.

 

[jsalt]

We stayed at Gîte Le Chemin vers l'Etoile at the end of April last year. There is a kitchen if you want to prepare your own meal, or restaurants nearby if you prefer to eat out. We were very happy there, no complaints. The owner is a pelegrin himself, nice guy. He DOES get everyone together, when booking in, to give a bit of a lecture, but then you are left to your own devices.

 

[Marbe2]

There's no obligation at any albergue to attend a communal meal. I've stayed at albergues before that had a communal meal but I had already made arrangements to meet other pilgrims for dinner at a restaurant. Not that big a deal to not attend the communal.
I also don't care for that whole introduction thing too. It reminds me of alcoholic anonymous meetings I've seen parodied in movies and such. I'd just as soon skip that part. I know some pilgrims like the whole kid's summer camp atmosphere routine that occurs at some albergues but I'll pass.
Just stay where you want to stay and do whatever you want to do in regards to meals.

Actually, the Albergue in Orisson includes the price of the meal in the booking. You are not required to attend or speak, but you will pay!

 

[Aysen Mustafa]

In Orisson at the communal meal, we had to state our names, nationality and if it was our first camino, or ... Didn't have to give a reason for walking, which I wouldn't have been happy to do. However, I was asked by a German ex-nurse, who was sitting across the table from me. I didn't ask her or anyone else as I thought it was a very personal question.

 

[C clearly]

they replied that they require both. I was meeting someone for breakfast. No matter, required . I canceled the reservation. I don’t like to be told what I must do .

I am quite sure that the requirement was that you pay for the standard package, which included the cost of breakfast. They are not going to bar the door to prevent you from leaving in the morning if you haven't eaten.

 

[Flog]

In Orisson at the communal meal, we had to state our names, nationality and if it was our first camino, or ... Didn't have to give a reason for walking, which I wouldn't have been happy to do. However, I was asked by a German ex-nurse, who was sitting across the table from me. I didn't ask her or anyone else as I thought it was a very personal question.

Nobody has a right to corral you into a situation such as this. Plead the fifth or whatever they call it..
.

 

[C clearly]

I didn't ask her or anyone else as I thought it was a very personal question.

I would say that the answer is more personal than the question, and depends a lot on the context.

There are many questions that some people will happily answer, others will be offended, and still others will choose to deflect with a vague response. The person asking the question won't know which will apply to you. Of course any insistence on an answer from a stranger is rude.

 

[stevepjq]

Gite Makila is my favorite. Nothing to worry about in regard to meals - great night sleep and hot shower right smack in town.

 

[RJM]

Actually, the Albergue in Orisson includes the price of the meal in the booking. You are not required to attend or speak, but you will pay!

Oh yes I'm aware of that. I've stayed in albergues where the price included the communal meal and if I already paid for it I eat it, lol. I personally have never stayed at Orisson. Just taken breaks there.
I was at one communal meal where they did that AA type of what's your name and why are you here routine (not Orisson). When it came to me I said I was required to walk the Camino as penance for a crime. I meant it tongue in cheek as that actually occurred during medieval times, but most didn't get it and just looked shocked.

 

[JTD]

Thank you all for your replies and suggestions! Very much appreciated and I will have a look at the albergues that have been suggested, thank you.
I should probably elaborate a little about myself and my reasons. I do not mind sharing my reasons for walking in normal conversation, and in fact, I have written about it in the past. It is just the standing up and public speaking that I would struggle with. I have PTSD and am agoraphobic. The reason I walked the first time was to try to overcome this. It was an incredibly difficult journey for me, but by the time I reached Santiago I felt incredible. Not cured, but better.
The first night in SJPP put me in an uncomfortable situation after a difficult day travelling which I was not expecting and I just want to avoid a repeat. Thankfully I was with my cousin last time who stood up for me when it was "my turn". He introduced me and gave my reason for walking, explaining that he was there to support me during the beginning of my pilgrimage. It all felt rather awkward!
To cut a long story short, I now find myself once again afraid to go out and so, off I go to Santiago...

 

[nathanael]

Hello, a bit of an unusual first post perhaps! I have tried using the search function of the forum but my question is quite specific.
I will be walking the Camino Frances from SJPP starting on or around 1st May (flight not yet booked).
I would really like to hear your recommendation for places to stay in SJPP where there is no communal meal. On my first Camino in 2012 I stayed at L'espirit du chemin and although it was a beautiful albergue, I did not appreciate being expected to introduce myself and state my reasons for walking to the rest of the guests at dinner. I understand that this is to build camaraderie among pilgrims and for many is a special part of their own journey, but it is just something that I personally do not enjoy and wish to avoid. I certainly would not want to be the only pilgrim who refuses to stand up and speak, but it would make me very uncomfortable. This is not a snipe at any albergue or gite where this takes place, and no offence is intended. It is purely down to my own personal anxieties.

I was a hospitallero at old E'spirit du chemin for two weeks meals were excellent and one did not have to eat at the communal meal but only sleep. It was and is expensive to stay there but the service is excellent. I beleive the new owners are operating but better,

 

[Pafayac]

Often in donativos, there is a communal meal, during which you can be invited to speak about your personal experience, your motivation and so on... but I don't think it is mandatory !
If you are reluctant about such things, I suggest you tell a word to the hospitalero before dinner: "Please, do not ask me to tell about myself..."

 

[JTD]

I was a hospitallero at old E'spirit du chemin for two weeks meals were excellent and one did not have to eat at the communal meal but only sleep. It was and is expensive to stay there but the service is excellent. I beleive the new owners are operating but better,

The hospitalleros were fantastic, as was the albergue. Indeed, the meal too was excellent and I did not suggest otherwise. When I booked my place online, months ahead of arrival in SJPP, there was no mention of introducing ourselves at dinner, if there was I would have looked at other options. There was no mention at all of this until it actually happened, and so, I felt like I was put on the spot. Some albergues are well known for this and I will avoid them (Orisson being one which I would like to stay at to split the pyrenees crossing, but feel unable due to this tradition). As I said in my first post, this is certainly not a snipe and I remain grateful to those providing services to pilgrims on the Camino.

Edit to add: While it may be the case that the meal was optional, it was not disclosed that those who do opt for the meal will be expected to catch an imaginary ball when it is thrown to them and to then speak to the group (all eyes on you!).

 

[Lindsay53]

Thank you all for your replies and suggestions! Very much appreciated and I will have a look at the albergues that have been suggested, thank you.
I should probably elaborate a little about myself and my reasons. I do not mind sharing my reasons for walking in normal conversation, and in fact, I have written about it in the past. It is just the standing up and public speaking that I would struggle with. I have PTSD and am agoraphobic. The reason I walked the first time was to try to overcome this. It was an incredibly difficult journey for me, but by the time I reached Santiago I felt incredible. Not cured, but better.
The first night in SJPP put me in an uncomfortable situation after a difficult day travelling which I was not expecting and I just want to avoid a repeat. Thankfully I was with my cousin last time who stood up for me when it was "my turn". He introduced me and gave my reason for walking, explaining that he was there to support me during the beginning of my pilgrimage. It all felt rather awkward!
To cut a long story short, I now find myself once again afraid to go out and so, off I go to Santiago...

You are showing what you are capable of by doing this JTD. Buen Camino peregrino.

 

[JTD]

You are showing what you are capable of by doing this JTD. Buen Camino peregrino.

Thank you!

 

[Former member 104756]

I have PTSD and am agoraphobic. The reason I walked the first time was to try to overcome this. It was an incredibly difficult journey for me, but by the time I reached Santiago I felt incredible. Not cured, but better.
The first night in SJPP put me in an uncomfortable situation after a difficult day travelling which I was not expecting and I just want to avoid a repeat. Thankfully I was with my cousin last time who stood up for me when it was "my turn". He introduced me and gave my reason for walking, explaining that he was there to support me during the beginning of my pilgrimage. It all felt rather awkward!
To cut a long story short, I now find myself once again afraid to go out and so, off I go to Santiago

You sound very courageous @JTD You have overcome much more than most in walking your first camino - and now you are setting out again. Sending you best wishes. And continued ‘bon courage’

 

[RJM]

I think it should be mentioned that only a few albergues have any type of communal meal where everyone gets up and introduces themselves. So to those reading this thread who haven't walked the Camino and don't care for the practice, it's really not anything to be concerned about and highly unlikely you'll encounter it.
For the most part communal meals simply consist of everyone just sitting around and eating . If even that's too much for you there's always the vending machines lol.

 

[JTD]

You sound very courageous @JTD You have overcome much more than most in walking your first camino - and now you are setting out again. Sending you best wishes. And continued ‘bon courage’

Thank you!
However, I'm not sure about that - we all have our own challenges to face. If you could see me today, sat looking out of the window trying to pluck up the courage to go for a walk, you would not call me courageous! I have less than 4 months to get my act together and get outside - yikes!

 

[Former member 92300]

I should probably elaborate a little about myself and my reasons.

Please don't feel the need to defend yourself or elaborate... we all have our own set of struggles - and everyone has the right to walk the Camino in a way that is most comfortable to them and their situations. Glad you are returning! And I think others have said - there are VERY FEW albergues with communal dinners or other activities in which there is a strong emphasis in group participation in any way shape of form. Just look at information and a few reviews about each albergue you are considering staying at and it will usually be obvious if there are dinner introductions or sing-alongs or prayer services or other activities you are not comfortable with. The ones with these activities - the activities are either raved or complained about often so they are pretty easy to spot!

 

[JTD]

Please don't feel the need to defend yourself or elaborate... we all have our own set of struggles - and everyone has the right to walk the Camino in a way that is most comfortable to them and their situations. Glad you are returning! And I think others have said - there are VERY FEW albergues with communal dinners or other activities in which there is a strong emphasis in group participation in any way shape of form. Just look at information and a few reviews about each albergue you are considering staying at and it will usually be obvious if there are dinner introductions or sing-alongs or prayer services or other activities you are not comfortable with. The ones with these activities - the activities are either raved or complained about often so they are pretty easy to spot!

Oh it's fine, I didn't feel like a had to defend myself. Just didn't want it to sound like I don't even want to talk to other pilgrims! When I saw that someone has reacted to my first post with a laughing emoji I thought I'd explain in a bit more detail.

 

[kelleymac]

I think that people often share a reason for walking that is a surface reason.

I honestly didn't know why I was walking when I was at Orrison and spoke publicly. Most people were impressed that I was walking with my 14 yo son, and that he had asked me to walk with him from SJPD. That was the reason I gave. -- Another more complex reason was/is my faith, and I was feeling called to walk. Faith is often jeered at where I live, and so I kept that reason quiet in my heart. My mother had died the year before as well, and that was another reason. Again, I kept that quiet in my heart. And there are a few other reasons... that I still keep quiet about.

-- My point is, that if someone asks a question, you can share what you will. The dinner and sharing at Orrison was a time of camaraderie and encouragement. I was impressed by people who had already walked for weeks, and one person I met ever so briefly that night changed my view of pilgrims, of others. But that is another story.

My son, by the way, had left the table early as he was tired. No one made him stay and share. So another option.

 

[psheehan]

Hello, a bit of an unusual first post perhaps! I have tried using the search function of the forum but my question is quite specific.
I will be walking the Camino Frances from SJPP starting on or around 1st May (flight not yet booked).
I would really like to hear your recommendation for places to stay in SJPP where there is no communal meal. On my first Camino in 2012 I stayed at L'espirit du chemin and although it was a beautiful albergue, I did not appreciate being expected to introduce myself and state my reasons for walking to the rest of the guests at dinner. I understand that this is to build camaraderie among pilgrims and for many is a special part of their own journey, but it is just something that I personally do not enjoy and wish to avoid. I certainly would not want to be the only pilgrim who refuses to stand up and speak, but it would make me very uncomfortable. This is not a snipe at any albergue or gite where this takes place, and no offence is intended. It is purely down to my own personal anxieties.

Excellent post... I felt exactly the same when I stayed in Gite Beilari in 2016... at one point they had us throwing an imaginary ball from one pilgrim to another... in 2021 I stayed in Gite Makila across the street from Beilari, all very relaxed and no forced participation.

 

[Camino Chrissy]

- My point is, that if someone asks a question, you can share what you will.

This is true, but a couple of the posts were from those who become filled with anxiety and a fear they can not control, even around a communal dinner table with strangers.it is a type of "stage fright" phobia, unfounded and ridiculous it seems to those who do not struggle.

I have an irrational fear of bears (a phonia) and can not tent camp in the many mountains in the US with bear populations, and even the hiking has me feeling unsettled...I have digressed a bit off topic.

 

[CWBuff]

Hello, a bit of an unusual first post perhaps! I have tried using the search function of the forum but my question is quite specific.
I will be walking the Camino Frances from SJPP starting on or around 1st May (flight not yet booked).
I would really like to hear your recommendation for places to stay in SJPP where there is no communal meal. On my first Camino in 2012 I stayed at L'espirit du chemin and although it was a beautiful albergue, I did not appreciate being expected to introduce myself and state my reasons for walking to the rest of the guests at dinner. I understand that this is to build camaraderie among pilgrims and for many is a special part of their own journey, but it is just something that I personally do not enjoy and wish to avoid. I certainly would not want to be the only pilgrim who refuses to stand up and speak, but it would make me very uncomfortable. This is not a snipe at any albergue or gite where this takes place, and no offence is intended. It is purely down to my own personal anxieties.

In Orisson at the communal meal, we had to state our names, nationality and if it was our first camino, or ... Didn't have to give a reason for walking, which I wouldn't have been happy to do. However, I was asked by a German ex-nurse, who was sitting across the table from me. I didn't ask her or anyone else as I thought it was a very personal question.

Re: Original post from OP
I stayed in much lauded Beilari and yes they are notoriously known for their dinner and post-dinner "introduce yourself" ball game. I liked it a lot...but then I am an outgoing person so i can understand the problem.
Just like may other suggested, probably politely tell the hosts that you do not wish to participate and take your meal somewhere else.

Re:Orisson
Hmmm... funny... I don't recall "being told that WE HAD TO"... IIRC those of us who sat close to each other so perhaps 10-12 (5-6 on each side of the table) exchanged basic info - name, from, walking to (as apparently not everyone is striving for Sdc) but thats about it

 

[RJM]

I recall a donativo albergue I stayed in when I walked the Frances in 2018. It was a nice albergue with a communal meal included and a wonderful hospitalero, and while it didn't have the introduction routine it did have group singing after the meal and the hospitalero played a guitar. I think he played a pilgrim's version of the old "La Bamba" song. I'm not particularly a sing along kumbaya kind of guy, but it was enjoyable.
By chance does anyone know which albergue that is? Does anyone recall staying someplace like that? I believe it was after Templarios.

 

[David Tallan]

Thank you all for your replies and suggestions! Very much appreciated and I will have a look at the albergues that have been suggested, thank you.
I should probably elaborate a little about myself and my reasons. I do not mind sharing my reasons for walking in normal conversation, and in fact, I have written about it in the past. It is just the standing up and public speaking that I would struggle with. I have PTSD and am agoraphobic. The reason I walked the first time was to try to overcome this. It was an incredibly difficult journey for me, but by the time I reached Santiago I felt incredible. Not cured, but better.
The first night in SJPP put me in an uncomfortable situation after a difficult day travelling which I was not expecting and I just want to avoid a repeat. Thankfully I was with my cousin last time who stood up for me when it was "my turn". He introduced me and gave my reason for walking, explaining that he was there to support me during the beginning of my pilgrimage. It all felt rather awkward!
To cut a long story short, I now find myself once again afraid to go out and so, off I go to Santiago...

Wow, I can't imagine walking across the Meseta with agoraphobia!

 

[malingerer]

Hello, a bit of an unusual first post perhaps! I have tried using the search function of the forum but my question is quite specific.
I will be walking the Camino Frances from SJPP starting on or around 1st May (flight not yet booked).
I would really like to hear your recommendation for places to stay in SJPP where there is no communal meal. On my first Camino in 2012 I stayed at L'espirit du chemin and although it was a beautiful albergue, I did not appreciate being expected to introduce myself and state my reasons for walking to the rest of the guests at dinner. I understand that this is to build camaraderie among pilgrims and for many is a special part of their own journey, but it is just something that I personally do not enjoy and wish to avoid. I certainly would not want to be the only pilgrim who refuses to stand up and speak, but it would make me very uncomfortable. This is not a snipe at any albergue or gite where this takes place, and no offence is intended. It is purely down to my own personal anxieties.

I sympathise as I have never really understood the necessity. Perhaps being 65 when I first started Camino 2003 didn't endear me to the system. I have met many wonderful people on Camino whom I have known for as little as 4 hours but never forgot. We never formed groups or exchanged addresses or fone numbers and I never found this to belittle my experience or theirs. To me the Camino has always been a very personal experience and I intend to keep it that way. Buen Camino

Samarkand.

 

[Tincatinker]

Wow, I can't imagine walking across the Meseta with agoraphobia!

The Meseta can be an excellent place for an agoraphobic. No crowds and a possible escape in any direction.

The "fear of the market-place" is more about being trapped in crowded spaces than exposure to the clear and piercing gaze of the gods

 

[David Tallan]

The Meseta can be an excellent place for an agoraphobic. No crowds and a possible escape in any direction.

The "fear of the market-place" is more about being trapped in crowded spaces than exposure to the clear and piercing gaze of the gods

Interesting. I had always heard "agoraphobia" casually defined as "fear of open spaces". Hence my remark above. When I just went to look it up, I saw it defined as that, but equally or more so defined as "fear of being trapped". The meseta is a good example of how the more open the space, the less likely one may be to be trapped.

 

[Former member 59618]

Thank you all for your replies and suggestions! Very much appreciated and I will have a look at the albergues that have been suggested, thank you.
I should probably elaborate a little about myself and my reasons. I do not mind sharing my reasons for walking in normal conversation, and in fact, I have written about it in the past. It is just the standing up and public speaking that I would struggle with. I have PTSD and am agoraphobic. The reason I walked the first time was to try to overcome this. It was an incredibly difficult journey for me, but by the time I reached Santiago I felt incredible. Not cured, but better.
The first night in SJPP put me in an uncomfortable situation after a difficult day travelling which I was not expecting and I just want to avoid a repeat. Thankfully I was with my cousin last time who stood up for me when it was "my turn". He introduced me and gave my reason for walking, explaining that he was there to support me during the beginning of my pilgrimage. It all felt rather awkward!
To cut a long story short, I now find myself once again afraid to go out and so, off I go to Santiago...

Thank you for sharing. As someone who suffers (and overcomes everyday) c-ptsd, I too, tend to shy away from public declarations of anything. To me, it feels a tad invasive.

And yes, it's not as easy as telling someone "just don't share". When you're in an activated state, nothing feels "normal", you either want to fight or flight and everything closes in on you.

After the last 2-3 years, I think we've all retreated into a safe crab shell. Most of us are emerging from that shell a little more traumatized, so go easy on yourself.

Buen camino. I hope the camino gently opens your shell and allows light to filter back in!

 

[CWBuff]

I have an irrational fear of bears (a phonia) and can not tent camp in the many mountains in the US with bear populations, and even the hiking has me feeling unsettled...I have digressed a bit off topic.

Hey Chrissy - I have a very suspicious feeling that chances are slim to none of you encountering a bear in SJPdP. Now the lions and tigers on the other hand..... (...and probably a good number of scarecrows....)


As I stated I am a very outgoing person - I LOVE to meet new people and interract with just about anyone. It is a shame that people do feel these fears but again I understand and respect their wishes not to be bothered with activities that are 'forced upon them'. Just keep in mind that there ARE choices indeed, perhpas a little more homework before the Camino (or any other venue for that matter) but its all doable

BUEN CMINO to @JTD

 

[Camino Chrissy]

@CWBuff, I only fear bears in the US in mountainous regions, not on any Caminos I have walked!

 

[RJM]

@CWBuff, I only fear bears in the US in mountainous regions, not on any Caminos I have walked!

Spanish police guide bear back from city centre to mountains

Residents of Ponferrada advised to take care after animal spotted by taxi driver in early hours

www.theguardian.com

 

[trecile]

Spanish police guide bear back from city centre to mountains

Residents of Ponferrada advised to take care after animal spotted by taxi driver in early hours

www.theguardian.com

Shhhh! Don't tell @Camino Chrissy!

 

[Former member 92300]

Wow, I can't imagine walking across the Meseta with agoraphobia!

extreme or irrational fear of entering open or crowded places, of leaving one's own home, or of being in places from which escape is difficult.

Lots of people with agoraphobia are fine outdoors in open areas, but can't deal with crowds anywhere. For many - the Meseta is heavenly

 

[CWBuff]

Spanish police guide bear back from city centre to mountains

Residents of Ponferrada advised to take care after animal spotted by taxi driver in early hours

www.theguardian.com

He probably thought he was the Last of the Templars Bear!

 

[C clearly]

The ones with these activities - the activities are either raved or complained about often so they are pretty easy to spot!

This is a useful tip.

someone has reacted to my first post with a laughing emoji

Don't put too much significance on the choice of emoji. People do not always give the same meaning to them, and sometimes inadvertently hit the wrong one.

I'm not particularly a sing along kumbaya kind of guy

Funny how this statement does not surprise me. Maybe because that also describes me!

 

[Camino Chrissy]

Shhhh! Don't tell @Camino Chrissy!

Too late!

 

[trecile]

The "fear of the market-place" is more about being trapped in crowded spaces than exposure to the clear and piercing gaze of the gods

Yes, the origins of the word agoraphobia is from the Greek for market.

"The agora was the marketplace in ancient Greece; thus, agoraphobia often involves fear of public places and crowds. But it also may involve fear of being in shops, or even fear of being in open spaces, or fear of traveling alone. It may also be a fear of experiencing some uncontrollable or embarrassing event (like fainting) in the presence of others with no help available. Agoraphobia can be hard to understand for those who don't suffer from it, especially because it can take so many different forms, but it is often a serious and socially crippling condition."

Definition of AGORAPHOBIA

abnormal fear of being helpless in a situation from which escape may be difficult or embarrassing that is characterized initially often by panic or anticipatory anxiety and finally by the avoidance of open or public places… See the full definition

www.merriam-webster.com

 

[Anamiri]

extreme or irrational fear of entering open or crowded places, of leaving one's own home, or of being in places from which escape is difficult.

Lots of people with agoraphobia are fine outdoors in open areas, but can't deal with crowds anywhere. For many - the Meseta is heavenly

Having had a mother with agoraphobia (amongst other phobias) it manifested as a fear of moving out of familiar (safe) areas. It progressed as she aged, and was severely limiting, initially she would travel to the closest town, 15 minutes away, (but only smaller shops not the supermarket), to eventually barely leaving the house or garden (and never meeting visitors - she would fake illness so she wouldn't have to leave her room).
The size of her world decreased until she wouldn't leave the house, meeting people became impossible. She wouldn't shop, talk to people on the phone, or even online.
She spent her life in fear of being in situations she couldn't deal with.

 

[Former member 92300]

Having had a mother with agoraphobia (amongst other phobias) it manifested as a fear of moving out of familiar (safe) areas. It progressed as she aged, and was severely limiting, initially she would travel to the closest town, 15 minutes away, (but only smaller shops not the supermarket), to eventually barely leaving the house or garden (and never meeting visitors - she would fake illness so she wouldn't have to leave her room).
The size of her world decreased until she wouldn't leave the house, meeting people became impossible. She wouldn't shop, talk to people on the phone, or even online.
She spent her life in fear of being in situations she couldn't deal with.

Yep - that is a classic case. Everyone is a little different in how it manifests!

 

[t2andreo]

Another, albeit passive aggressive, way out of this conundrum is to make a sign before-hand that you can fold in half, like a tent card at a meeting table, that reads:

"Je suis sur un Camino silencieux, SVP."
"Estoy en un Camino silencioso, por favor."
"I am on a silent Camino, please."

Also - in Portuguese:

"Estou em um Caminho silencioso. Obrigada."
​

Place the translations in the order you will likely meet people, or make different signs for different countries. My ordering above presupposes you start in St. Jean Pied de Port.

In Word, I can get 38 point Calibri type on a table with minimal page margins. The Portuguese translation forces a smaller type font.

Always include the English as most people you will encounter on the Camino have English - at least some English - as a second or third language.

You can use letter or A4 sized paper, aligned in landscape mode, folded in half lengthwise. Make the letters as large as will fit on a single line, per language. You might laminate it for extended use. Deploy at a table or punch holes as appropriate to hand from your rucksack as desired.

I have seen people walking with hand-lettered signs hanging from their rucksacks that simply stated "Silent Camino" on many occasions. I just nod as I pass by, instead of making the customary "Bon Chemin, Buen Camino, etc.} greeting.

This said, just be aware that, in choosing to keep your own company - at meals or otherwise - you may be foregoing one of the seminal pleasures of the Camino experience - interactions with folks of a like mind - but from all over the world. Just think about it.

That said, there WERE times on my various Caminos when I wished I has such a sign ready to use. So, this is not a good or bad thing. It is an individual choice. Everyone does their own Camino and NO ONE has the standing or right to tell you how to do it.

I hope this helps.

Tom

 

[WayWalker]

Hello, a bit of an unusual first post perhaps! I have tried using the search function of the forum but my question is quite specific.
I will be walking the Camino Frances from SJPP starting on or around 1st May (flight not yet booked).
I would really like to hear your recommendation for places to stay in SJPP where there is no communal meal. On my first Camino in 2012 I stayed at L'espirit du chemin and although it was a beautiful albergue, I did not appreciate being expected to introduce myself and state my reasons for walking to the rest of the guests at dinner. I understand that this is to build camaraderie among pilgrims and for many is a special part of their own journey, but it is just something that I personally do not enjoy and wish to avoid. I certainly would not want to be the only pilgrim who refuses to stand up and speak, but it would make me very uncomfortable. This is not a snipe at any albergue or gite where this takes place, and no offence is intended. It is purely down to my own personal anxieties.

Don't stay at Orrison. That was pretty much the only place I found myself in that situation. Or if you inadverdantly find yourself in a "situation "and it comes your turn just wave and say Buen Camino! Most will understand. You are not powerless in this scenario.

 

[Helenenn]

Hello, a bit of an unusual first post perhaps! I have tried using the search function of the forum but my question is quite specific.
I will be walking the Camino Frances from SJPP starting on or around 1st May (flight not yet booked).
I would really like to hear your recommendation for places to stay in SJPP where there is no communal meal. On my first Camino in 2012 I stayed at L'espirit du chemin and although it was a beautiful albergue, I did not appreciate being expected to introduce myself and state my reasons for walking to the rest of the guests at dinner. I understand that this is to build camaraderie among pilgrims and for many is a special part of their own journey, but it is just something that I personally do not enjoy and wish to avoid. I certainly would not want to be the only pilgrim who refuses to stand up and speak, but it would make me very uncomfortable. This is not a snipe at any albergue or gite where this takes place, and no offence is intended. It is purely down to my own personal anxieties.

Wear a badge saying I walk in silence . I seen a man walking with one on the Portuguese central last year

 

[RJM]

If one by chance finds themselves in one of those very rare introduction situations there's no need to lie. Just politely decline. Believe me, nobody will look badly upon you for doing so because nobody is really that interested or cares. I don't mean that in a bad way.
Personally I'm walking the Camino for myself and I have really no interest in why someone else is walking it or who they are. Why would I? I certainly hope they get the joy out of it I do, but if they don't that's ok too. Again, don't mean that in a bad way.

 

[trecile]

If one by chance finds themselves in one of those very rare introduction situations there's no need to lie. Just politely decline.

Yes, don't lie and say you're planning to remain silent the entire Camino. What are you going to do when someone hears you order a café con leche?

 

[Camino Chrissy]

I once stayed at an albergue with two older Korean gentlemen friends. One of them was truly walking in silence(although smiling and nodding occasionally), and it was his friend who told us. I think it was only going to be for seven days.

 

[Loretta Jane]

I didn't like staying in places where I felt obligated to sing, pray or participate. Some big communal meals were not appealing either. In some, it didn't feel like a choice. I liked quiet places and conversation if people were wanting to join in. More contemplative.

 

[Anniesantiago]

Gite Makila is one of my favorites and has nice little private cubbies if you book early.
I also like Gite Compostelle. It is less fancy, less expensive, and has a nice kitchen.
Neither have communal meals.

 

[Rick M]

Yes, don't lie and say you're planning to remain silent the entire Camino. What are you going to do when someone hears you order a café con leche?

On one Camino, we picked up a nun in full habit leaving Santiago for Finisterre. Behave yourself, I just mean that we walked parallel with her for the next few days. She never spoke, and when I first spoke to her, she smiled and made the zipper gesture across her mouth, so that we knew she was walking in silence. I wondered too how she would order lunch, and the answer was disappointing and practical. She gestured to the barman to come close, and I assume, whispered in their ears.

 

[Bdmckillop]

Hello, a bit of an unusual first post perhaps! I have tried using the search function of the forum but my question is quite specific.
I will be walking the Camino Frances from SJPP starting on or around 1st May (flight not yet booked).
I would really like to hear your recommendation for places to stay in SJPP where there is no communal meal. On my first Camino in 2012 I stayed at L'espirit du chemin and although it was a beautiful albergue, I did not appreciate being expected to introduce myself and state my reasons for walking to the rest of the guests at dinner. I understand that this is to build camaraderie among pilgrims and for many is a special part of their own journey, but it is just something that I personally do not enjoy and wish to avoid. I certainly would not want to be the only pilgrim who refuses to stand up and speak, but it would make me very uncomfortable. This is not a snipe at any albergue or gite where this takes place, and no offence is intended. It is purely down to my own personal anxieties.

Hello. We started a year ago on May 1! We stayed at Maison Ziberoa just outside the wall. Very pleasant, private and comfortable. You will still have a small group of pilgrims to start your adventure. No communal dinner. A very pleasant and knowledgable host.
Have a wonderful Camino.

 

[RJM]

I didn't like staying in places where I felt obligated to sing, pray or participate. Some big communal meals were not appealing either. In some, it didn't feel like a choice. I liked quiet places and conversation if people were wanting to join in. More contemplative.

I don't think I ever encountered anyplace like that and even if there was something like a communal meal included and I didn't want to participate I could always just walk out the albergue and eat or whatever somewhere else, or just go into the sleeping quarters and relax, sleep. Nobody would even notice.
I never felt pressured to do anything on the Camino and I never gave any thought to how others see me on it. Mind you, I do realize that there's almost half a million people walking it every year so being alone and peace and quiet are rather unrealistic expectations if that was what I was looking for.

 

[Anna Cameron]

Thank you all for your replies and suggestions! Very much appreciated and I will have a look at the albergues that have been suggested, thank you.
I should probably elaborate a little about myself and my reasons. I do not mind sharing my reasons for walking in normal conversation, and in fact, I have written about it in the past. It is just the standing up and public speaking that I would struggle with. I have PTSD and am agoraphobic. The reason I walked the first time was to try to overcome this. It was an incredibly difficult journey for me, but by the time I reached Santiago I felt incredible. Not cured, but better.
The first night in SJPP put me in an uncomfortable situation after a difficult day travelling which I was not expecting and I just want to avoid a repeat. Thankfully I was with my cousin last time who stood up for me when it was "my turn". He introduced me and gave my reason for walking, explaining that he was there to support me during the beginning of my pilgrimage. It all felt rather awkward!
To cut a long story short, I now find myself once again afraid to go out and so, off I go to Santiago...

 

[Richmond Gardner]

Yes, the origins of the word agoraphobia is from the Greek for market.

"The agora was the marketplace in ancient Greece; thus, agoraphobia often involves fear of public places and crowds. But it also may involve fear of being in shops, or even fear of being in open spaces, or fear of traveling alone. It may also be a fear of experiencing some uncontrollable or embarrassing event (like fainting) in the presence of others with no help available. Agoraphobia can be hard to understand for those who don't suffer from it, especially because it can take so many different forms, but it is often a serious and socially crippling condition."

Definition of AGORAPHOBIA

abnormal fear of being helpless in a situation from which escape may be difficult or embarrassing that is characterized initially often by panic or anticipatory anxiety and finally by the avoidance of open or public places… See the full definition

www.merriam-webster.com

I was going to point out that the agora was literally the Ancient Greek marketplace and thus the reference….but, you were all over it (as usual).

 

[MichaelC]

@JTD - The albergue in the church at Nájera was the only other place I recall that had us go around & give our reasons for walking. I hate forced sharing too, though I usually just fake it & say something innocuous.

Edit: Payafac was right; I was thinking about Grañon. I liked staying there, and I’d still recommend it. The “let’s go around the circle and talk” took place during a night tour after dinner, so easily missable

 

[Camino Chrissy]

I must be a hypocrite because although I dislike sharing in public, I do appreciate listening to the stories of others.

 

[Flog]

Don't worry.. we all are

 

[Camino Chrissy]

Don't worry.. we all are

More profound and truthful words were never spoken on the subject of hypocricy.

 

[Pafayac]

@JTD - The albergue in the church at Nájera ...

I don't think there is an albergue in the church at Nájera.
I guess you make a confusion with Grañon. One of my best experience on the Camino: great donativo !

 

[howardd5]

The old albergue was downstairs in the cathedral, but I think it closed when the new quantity hut was built in the early 2000’s . The new one is very crowded but ok

 

[dreaming]

I also stayed there once and ate there which I believe was required . My next Camino planning I called them are ask for a reservation and said yes to dinner and no to breakfast, they replied that they require both. I was meeting someone for breakfast. No matter, required . I canceled the reservation. I don’t like to be told what I must do . I stayed at one across the street , I wish I knew the name , they also offered a communal dinner and talked to everyone casually there, my choice. I did see these Pilgrims the whole way and was glad of a friendly face.

Lo

 

[goldie from aus]

Thank you!
However, I'm not sure about that - we all have our own challenges to face. If you could see me today, sat looking out of the window trying to pluck up the courage to go for a walk, you would not call me courageous! I have less than 4 months to get my act together and get outside - yikes!

I would be interested to hear about your journey along the way – if you felt up to sharing. I am planning my first (covid delayed) Camino in Sept/Oct and public speaking scares the bejesus out of me. It is seriously one thing that would keep me away – but for the pull of the Camino which is so strong. Enjoy and take care.

 

[David Tallan]

Wear a badge saying I walk in silence . I seen a man walking with one on the Portuguese central last year

While it may be nice to wear a badge or otherwise indicate your desire for silence, please be aware that there is no requirement to wear white face paint.

 

[Former member 92300]

I don't think I ever encountered anyplace like that and even if there was something like a communal meal included and I didn't want to participate I could always just walk out the albergue and eat or whatever somewhere else, or just go into the sleeping quarters and relax, sleep. Nobody would even notice.
I never felt pressured to do anything on the Camino and I never gave any thought to how others see me on it. Mind you, I do realize that there's almost half a million people walking it every year so being alone and peace and quiet are rather unrealistic expectations if that was what I was looking for.

The only place I know of where walking out before dinner wouldn't work is Orisson (for both Orisson and Borda). There is nowhere else in Orisson to eat dinner if you aren't eating at your albergue. You could pack a dinner - but instead of that you could easily just bypass Orisson. Afterall - the price of your stay in both places includes dinner so why stay there if you aren't going to eat.

But yes - no one can force you to join a communal dinner and no one can force you to get up and speak or sing or whatever. And honestly - the only time on the Camino that I felt "pressured" to do something I didn't want to do was at a group dinner where the pilgrims thought it would be fun for everyone to sing a song from their own country. Had nothing to do with an albergue requiring it. I did stay at Orisson - but that was by choice and I knew they liked to do introductions.

And I concur - don't lie and say you are doing a silent pilgrimage if you aren't - that is only going to get more people asking you questions when they realize you are speaking in other environments. But you could always have a card I suppose that says "I am not comfortable with public speaking" just in case you are in that position unintentionally. But again - very few places highly encourage public speaking or singing.

 

[RJM]

The only place I know of where walking out before dinner wouldn't work is Orisson (for both Orisson and Borda). There is nowhere else in Orisson to eat dinner if you aren't eating at your albergue. You could pack a dinner - but instead of that you could easily just bypass Orisson. Afterall - the price of your stay in both places includes dinner so why stay there if you aren't going to eat.

But yes - no one can force you to join a communal dinner and no one can force you to get up and speak or sing or whatever. And honestly - the only time on the Camino that I felt "pressured" to do something I didn't want to do was at a group dinner where the pilgrims thought it would be fun for everyone to sing a song from their own country. Had nothing to do with an albergue requiring it. I did stay at Orisson - but that was by choice and I knew they liked to do introductions.

And I concur - don't lie and say you are doing a silent pilgrimage if you aren't - that is only going to get more people asking you questions when they realize you are speaking in other environments. But you could always have a card I suppose that says "I am not comfortable with public speaking" just in case you are in that position unintentionally. But again - very few places highly encourage public speaking or singing.

I actually experienced that after a pilgrim's mass in one of the smaller towns along the Frances. After the mass the priest did the pilgrim's blessing and asked where everyone was from (there was only about 10-15 of us) and to sing a short song from our home country. Definitely caught me off guard, but I played along and managed to croak one out lol. There was a French family of four I believe that sang E Ultreia beautifully. That was really nice. A tough act to follow
Again, I definitely don't want to concern any of the prospective pilgrims out there who want to have nothing to do with that type of activities on the Camino. It's highly unlikely you will and if you don't want to do it, just leave (even Orisson you can get up from the dinner table after you eat I suppose). You are far better off being concerned about fitness level and the like before you embark on your journey.

 

[WalkingJane]

I must be a hypocrite because although I dislike sharing in public, I do appreciate listening to the stories of others.

You are forgiven by a fellow "hypocrite".

 

[bikerkvw]

Hello, a bit of an unusual first post perhaps! I have tried using the search function of the forum but my question is quite specific.
I will be walking the Camino Frances from SJPP starting on or around 1st May (flight not yet booked).
I would really like to hear your recommendation for places to stay in SJPP where there is no communal meal. On my first Camino in 2012 I stayed at L'espirit du chemin and although it was a beautiful albergue, I did not appreciate being expected to introduce myself and state my reasons for walking to the rest of the guests at dinner. I understand that this is to build camaraderie among pilgrims and for many is a special part of their own journey, but it is just something that I personally do not enjoy and wish to avoid. I certainly would not want to be the only pilgrim who refuses to stand up and speak, but it would make me very uncomfortable. This is not a snipe at any albergue or gite where this takes place, and no offence is intended. It is purely down to my own personal anxieties.

Then don’t eat at the communal meal. Just opt out.

 

[Pafayac]

Then don’t eat at the communal meal. Just opt out.

In some donativos (at least in France) the communal dinner is not optional, it is required because it is a friendly time, and a donativo is not an hotel.

 

[Bradypus]

I am by nature a shy and reticent person. A few years ago a prolapsed spinal disc meant that I spent 4 days recovering in Beilari and went through the introductory games and speech every single night! It was a challenge. But compared to the enormous generosity and compassion of Joseph, Jakline, Huberta and my fellow pilgrims during my recovery it was a very modest price to pay. I was delighted to find a spare bed and even to go through the whole business again a year later.

 

[C clearly]

I must be a hypocrite because although I dislike sharing in public, I do appreciate listening to the stories of others.

No, that is not being a hypocrite. There is nothing wrong with enjoying different things and accepting that others do, too. Being a hypocrite would be criticizing others for something, and then doing it yourself.

 

[Camino Chrissy]

No, that is not being a hypocrite. There is nothing wrong with enjoying different things and accepting that others do, too. Being a hypocrite would be criticizing others for something, and then doing it yourself. yourself.

Good point!

 

[Margaret Butterworth]

A suggestion for anybody (anxious or not) is to prepare a little speech about yourself and/or reason for walking. This means that you will not have to invent something on the spot. It can be something quite vague and superficial, if that's what you want to say. Just think about it in advance!

 

[ChristianSdeM]

When I stayed in Orrison with a group of friends, only one of us spoke, waving around the rest of us as fellow travellers. Shortly after, a lovely Brazilian girl in a mixture of Portuguese and english spoke about how happy she was and started crying. After that the place clapped and cheered and there were no more introductions! Afterwards we all mingled until bedtime. It would be easy to opt out or wave to the person beside you to speak instead.

 

[JTD]

I would be interested to hear about your journey along the way – if you felt up to sharing. I am planning my first (covid delayed) Camino in Sept/Oct and public speaking scares the bejesus out of me. It is seriously one thing that would keep me away – but for the pull of the Camino which is so strong. Enjoy and take care.

Thank you. I'm not sure exactly what it will look like yet, but I have set up a Facebook page where I will be sharing my journey from the Camino as I walk. I believe I am right that I cannot post the link in this reply but I can share the link in my signature. If I've done it right, I have just added the link to my signature and you are very welcome to like my page and follow me when I start walking (that goes for anyone who might be interested, of course!).

 

[Brmickelsen]

Gite Makila is my favorite. Nothing to worry about in regard to meals - great night sleep and hot shower right smack in town.

That is where we are staying in May. Although, I just heard they don’t have meals. Kind of bummed about that, but not a deal breaker.

 

[JTD]

That is where we are staying in May. Although, I just heard they don’t have meals. Kind of bummed about that, but not a deal breaker.

I tried to get booked in at Gite Makila after recommendations on here but I was too late! Looks like a great place!