Epiphany. I had mine what was yours.

[Former member 60103]

Passing along scrubland and forest plantation on the Frances just prior to the descent into San Justo de la Vega on the outskirts of Astorga, a Camino marker two metres back from the path had been graffitied with two lines in heavy black marker. Intrigued I wandered over and read the (familiar) words;
"The answer my friend is blowin in the wind"
Ten days later I had arrived at albergue La Estrella in the suburbs of Santiago. I was delaying my arrival at the Cathedral until the following day so having secured food and a cold beer sat on the grass bank above the residential block that housed the albergue.
I sat there reflecting on my journey from St Jean, what I had left behind (Divorce, grown up children and a competed 30 year career) and what I would be returning to (starting out again) and what was present in the moment. The sun, passers by below, people playing football nearby, local life carrying on as normal, regardless of my presence.
The pink blossomed trees on the slope which in the instant I focused on them were caught by an unseen breeze. And in that captured moment the blossom gently lifted from the trees and rode that breeze. A murmur of pink petals shaken and at once scattered over the grass slope. Something becoming something else.
Someone becoming someone else.
The jolt of awareness, my answer was indeed "blowin in the wind".
And so I realised all things are indeed transient. Whatever it is we think we have, whatever it is we think we know, who ever we think we are and what we will become. The only sure thing, the only security of outlook is an acceptance that it will pass.
I had known that before, but in that instant I knew I truly understood it at a far deeper level. And that I suppose is what an epiphany, what a Camino, is all about.

 

[Becky 59]

Passing along scrubland and forest plantation on the Frances just prior to the descent into San Justo de la Vega on the outskirts of Astorga, a Camino marker two metres back from the path had been graffitied with two lines in heavy black marker. Intrigued I wandered over and read the (familiar) words;
"The answer my friend is blowin in the wind"
Ten days later I had arrived at albergue La Estrella in the suburbs of Santiago. I was delaying my arrival at the Cathedral until the following day so having secured food and a cold beer sat on the grass bank above the residential block that housed the albergue.
I sat there reflecting on my journey from St Jean, what I had left behind (Divorce, grown up children and a competed 30 year career) and what I would be returning to (starting out again) and what was present in the moment. The sun, passers by below, people playing football nearby, local life carrying on as normal, regardless of my presence.
The pink blossomed trees on the slope which in the instant I focused on them were caught by an unseen breeze. And in that captured moment the blossom gently lifted from the trees and rode that breeze. A murmur of pink petals shaken and at once scattered over the grass slope. Something becoming something else.
Someone becoming someone else.
The jolt of awareness, my answer was indeed "blowin in the wind".
And so I realised all things are indeed transient. Whatever it is we think we have, whatever it is we think we know, who ever we think we are and what we will become. The only sure thing, the only security of outlook is an acceptance that it will pass.
I had known that before, but in that instant I knew I truly understood it at a far deeper level. And that I suppose is what an epiphany, what a Camino, is all about.

Nicely written. Brings to mind the floating feather at the opening of Forest Gump? Enjoyed your post, buen camino.

 

[VNwalking]

And so I realised all things are indeed transient. Whatever it is we think we have, whatever it is we think we know, who ever we think we are and what we will become. The only sure thing, the only security of outlook is an acceptance that it will pass.
I had known that before, but in that instant I knew I truly understood it at a far deeper level. And that I suppose is what an epiphany, what a Camino, is all about.

Beautiful. 100 likes, @Don Camillo!
I've never had an epiphany like that on the Camino. Yet. Maybe someday, maybe not.
For me it's been more of a gradual deepening, of a lot of things - and (step by step) understanding that self-imposed limits are just that, and not reality.

 

[RJM]

I'm a big fan of Bob Dylan, but not of childish graffiti scrawled on Camino kilometre markers. Sorry to hear that person chose that as the object upon which to express his message, albeit someone else's words.
Otherwise a good story.

 

[Robo]

Yes, I was lucky enough to have an Epiphany of sorts.

Clarity around what really mattered and what I should focus my life on.

As well as the consistent 'thinking' along the way this realisation was helped by a series of Camino 'moments' as I called them. Here are just Four........

http://robscamino.com/21st-of-may-a-struggle-walking-to-leon/
Down the page.........A Camino Moment

http://robscamino.com/26th-of-may-cruz-de-ferro/

http://robscamino.com/23rd-of-may-my-mojo-is-back/
Down the page about halfway.

http://robscamino.com/3rd-of-june-3-more-days-to-go-palas-de-rei-to-melide/
Near the bottom of the page. Camino Moment and a Lesson

I think that having an Epiphany or whatever you want to call it is quite possible when walking a Camino if one is open to it.

I made a point of saying a prayer of thanks each morning and often through the day, for being allowed to continue the journey and promising to be open to whatever lessons I might learn along the way.

I found myself looking for the good in every situation and maybe because I was walking alone, had a very heightened sense of my surroundings and thoughts and emotions.....

Maybe that's why when people ask me, is walking the Camino hard physically, I say sure it is, but nothing compared to the emotional roller coaster

Just like most Pilgrim's Caminos I'm sure!

 

[jayree]

And so I realised all things are indeed transient. Whatever it is we think we have, whatever it is we think we know, who ever we think we are and what we will become. The only sure thing, the only security of outlook is an acceptance that it will pass.

Or as I learned in Japan during cherry blossom season, “mono no aware.”

 

[fransw]

After I retired my wife and I decided to walk the Camino in 2012 from Le Puy til Santiago. I needed a caesura in my life. Before we had never heard about the Camino. So we arrived at SJPDP in the evening. There we met a german couple who were looking for a nice restaurant. We talked a bit and they told us they were walking the Camino because they have had a handicapped son who past away. The lady told us she carried above her heavy backpack the pillow on which her son slept. She intended to carry it all the way to Santiago...Later I saw the lady all alone in the silent church in SJPDP and I was deeply emotioned. After so many years tears are still rolling over my cheeks when I think on this lady.

 

[Gerard Murdoch]

Maybe not quite an Epiphany. There were two things that I thought about during my Camino.
1. It's not how many miles you walk on the Camino, it's what you learn from the Camino.
2. You don't walk the Camino , you share the Camino.

A friend said to me once, " Always say a Prayer for those who allowed you. to go and walk the Camino"

 

[kaixo]

@Don Camillo - Thank you for sharing your beautiful story.
I wish you a wonderful new journey..."starting out again".
Buen camino

 

[Bob from L.A. !]

Very well stated. It actually glued me to my seat thinking about it.

Have a great life !

 

[Anamiri]

Mine was that it doesn't take 'stuff' to make me happy. I was completely happy on the Camino with almost nothing. Now I can look at things with no desire to buy them.

 

[mspath]

On every camino there were stretches which seemed to be in another world. Past were the hoards of camera-clicking tourists and/or pilgrims as well as any urbane atmosphere with a bar at every corner. All was reduced to simple basics; I was alone on a seemingly endless gravel path beneath the vast dome of an immense sky. The only sound was the companionable crunch of my boots and perhaps distant birdsong.

Happily for me while tramping along and alone I often sensed that special moment when everything 'clicks' realizing that this was, indeed, MY way and that all is and will be good. ...Perhaps such secular transcendence felt while walking might be akin to what runners call 'the zone'. Your body can handle the task while your spirit glows with the effort. Neither easy, nor impossible; all simply is. ...Thus, thankfully you continue.

 

[Kanga]

Yes, @mspath you are spot on.

My legs move without effort - as if I am still and it is the landscape that is moving.

My "epiphany" on my first camino was learning that I had to make penance for all the years of treating my body so badly!

 

[Kurt5280]

My epiphany was when I realized that I was not walking the Camino solely for myself...but I was actually walking the Camino for all of the cancer patients I knew that were not still alive to walk with me.

 

[markmcilroy]

On my first Camino I met up with a great couple, the guy was totally blind so he was fully reliant on his wife.
A few days after my first meeting with them I ran into them again, he asked me how I was going, I said I was fine apart from the blisters...... but then I said "But we all walk with blisters" and he replied "Indeed we do Mark, indeed we do"....Epiphany 101.

 

[Deleted member 3000]

Bill Bryson.

 

[Elle Bieling]

Love the epiphany! Thank you for sharing your story.

 

[nackyann]

I have depended on others to guide me all my life, and especially on the Camino since I didn’t speak Spanish, am directionally challenged and don’t even understand euros! In Triacastella my friend and I went to the mass, as usual, but for the first time an English woman was asked to read something
, which was something like, “those who walk ALONE trusting St James will be able to give their gifts to the world.” When I heard it I knew I was to walk alone the next day. I was terrified because I never saw the arrows! I depended on my friend for all that, but left the next morning anyway and each time I needed an arrow I saw it! It was a glorious day, in which I learned we all have guidance (even me) all we have to do is trust it!

 

[CaminoDebrita]

My epiphany was at Cruz de Ferro. Many people leave behind rocks, small tokens of burdens that they wish to no longer carry.

I realized suddenly and vividly that I carry my loved ones who have passed with me, I carry them gladly and willingly.

Think of e.e. cummings (poet who doesn't use capital letters much, by the way), who wrote:

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go, my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)

i fear no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

 

[KJFSophie]

My 'Epiphany' came a month after I returned home. I had a very tough first Camino with pneumonia after the Pyrenees, a broken bone in my foot after Cruz de Ferro, walking with a miserable old woman and her abuse for 21 days...I returned home in tears and instead of feeling proud of completing every step, I was distraught. I had not enjoyed much of my trek and searched for why...why I felt so strongly that I had to walk. I was looking for some sign, some answers to questions, comfort of grief, peace...and felt I had received none of that.
Then the thought came to me as clear as any thought I had ever processed, with the message being, " This was not MY camino". I had to go, had to walk, had to endure the entire thing because OTHERS had to walk. You see I am both a registered nurse and a clinical psychologist. It was no coincidence that I was asked to repair dozens of feet along the way, pulled a bee out of an eye, debrided an ulcer on a heel, wrapped wounds, applied KT tape, extracted slivers, treated sunburn, even shared medications and electrolytes. It was no coincidence that I walked solo at times to be met by unexpected fellow pilgrims, seemingly out of nowhere,who almost immediately disclosed that they were struggling with the memories and wounds of having been sexually abused in their younger lives, overwhelmed by anger, guilt, shame...And the many who have heavy hearts dealing with loss. In my profession as a psychologist, I specialize in sexual trauma and abuse. It was absolutely no coincidence that our paths intertwined.

As for the hateful old woman, it was my lesson to learn: you need not take abuse from others you are trying to help. There will be times that one must cut the rope or be dragged under.

My own intentions were not meant to be heard on my first walk, but my services were meant for others who needed to complete their's. Selfishness dissolved. Within 5 weeks of returning home feeling beaten and discouraged, I was planning my next.

My biggest epiphany : It's not always about you.
I have been changed forever.

 

[nycwalking]

My 'Epiphany' came a month after I returned home. I had a very tough first Camino with pneumonia after the Pyrenees, a broken bone in my foot after Cruz de Ferro, walking with a miserable old woman and her abuse for 21 days...I returned home in tears and instead of feeling proud of completing every step, I was distraught. I had not enjoyed much of my trek and searched for why...why I felt so strongly that I had to walk. I was looking for some sign, some answers to questions, comfort of grief, peace...and felt I had received none of that.
Then the thought came to me as clear as any thought I had ever processed, with the message being, " This was not MY camino". I had to go, had to walk, had to endure the entire thing because OTHERS had to walk. You see I am both a registered nurse and a clinical psychologist. It was no coincidence that I was asked to repair dozens of feet along the way, pulled a bee out of an eye, debrided an ulcer on a heel, wrapped wounds, applied KT tape, extracted slivers, treated sunburn, even shared medications and electrolytes. It was no coincidence that I walked solo at times to be met by unexpected fellow pilgrims, seemingly out of nowhere,who almost immediately disclosed that they were struggling with the memories and wounds of having been sexually abused in their younger lives, overwhelmed by anger, guilt, shame...And the many who have heavy hearts dealing with loss. In my profession as a psychologist, I specialize in sexual trauma and abuse. It was absolutely no coincidence that our paths intertwined.

As for the hateful old woman, it was my lesson to learn: you need not take abuse from others you are trying to help. There will be times that one must cut the rope or be dragged under.

My own intentions were not meant to be heard on my first walk, but my services were meant for others who needed to complete their's. Selfishness dissolved. Within 5 weeks of returning home feeling beaten and discouraged, I was planning my next.

My biggest epiphany : It's not always about you.
I have been changed forever.

What a wonderful post. So happy clarity found you.

May Santiago continue to light your way.

Buen camino because you deserve it.

 

[trecile]

I have to say that the title of this thread rubs me the wrong way. I think that too many people walk the Camino thinking that they will have an epiphany, that the Camino will magically sort out their life and all their problems back home. I'm happy for all those who have gained this kind of insight, but the idea that everyone will have an epiphany on the Camino (though I know that wasn't the intention of this thread) can lead to disappointment. I remember reading a post here a couple of years ago, when I was new to the forum from a pilgrim who had been walking several weeks, and she wanted to know when she was going to have her epiphany, because she was disappointed that she hadn't had one yet.

 

[Former member 49149]

My 'Epiphany' came a month after I returned home. I had a very tough first Camino with pneumonia after the Pyrenees, a broken bone in my foot after Cruz de Ferro, walking with a miserable old woman and her abuse for 21 days...I returned home in tears and instead of feeling proud of completing every step, I was distraught. I had not enjoyed much of my trek and searched for why...why I felt so strongly that I had to walk. I was looking for some sign, some answers to questions, comfort of grief, peace...and felt I had received none of that.
Then the thought came to me as clear as any thought I had ever processed, with the message being, " This was not MY camino". I had to go, had to walk, had to endure the entire thing because OTHERS had to walk. You see I am both a registered nurse and a clinical psychologist. It was no coincidence that I was asked to repair dozens of feet along the way, pulled a bee out of an eye, debrided an ulcer on a heel, wrapped wounds, applied KT tape, extracted slivers, treated sunburn, even shared medications and electrolytes. It was no coincidence that I walked solo at times to be met by unexpected fellow pilgrims, seemingly out of nowhere,who almost immediately disclosed that they were struggling with the memories and wounds of having been sexually abused in their younger lives, overwhelmed by anger, guilt, shame...And the many who have heavy hearts dealing with loss. In my profession as a psychologist, I specialize in sexual trauma and abuse. It was absolutely no coincidence that our paths intertwined.

As for the hateful old woman, it was my lesson to learn: you need not take abuse from others you are trying to help. There will be times that one must cut the rope or be dragged under.

My own intentions were not meant to be heard on my first walk, but my services were meant for others who needed to complete their's. Selfishness dissolved. Within 5 weeks of returning home feeling beaten and discouraged, I was planning my next.

My biggest epiphany : It's not always about you.
I have been changed forever.

You were blessed. That ‘chip’ will never sit on your shoulder again. If it tries, you know how to swat it off!

 

[Former member 49149]

Passing along scrubland and forest plantation on the Frances just prior to the descent into San Justo de la Vega on the outskirts of Astorga, a Camino marker two metres back from the path had been graffitied with two lines in heavy black marker. Intrigued I wandered over and read the (familiar) words;
"The answer my friend is blowin in the wind"
Ten days later I had arrived at albergue La Estrella in the suburbs of Santiago. I was delaying my arrival at the Cathedral until the following day so having secured food and a cold beer sat on the grass bank above the residential block that housed the albergue.
I sat there reflecting on my journey from St Jean, what I had left behind (Divorce, grown up children and a competed 30 year career) and what I would be returning to (starting out again) and what was present in the moment. The sun, passers by below, people playing football nearby, local life carrying on as normal, regardless of my presence.
The pink blossomed trees on the slope which in the instant I focused on them were caught by an unseen breeze. And in that captured moment the blossom gently lifted from the trees and rode that breeze. A murmur of pink petals shaken and at once scattered over the grass slope. Something becoming something else.
Someone becoming someone else.
The jolt of awareness, my answer was indeed "blowin in the wind".
And so I realised all things are indeed transient. Whatever it is we think we have, whatever it is we think we know, who ever we think we are and what we will become. The only sure thing, the only security of outlook is an acceptance that it will pass.
I had known that before, but in that instant I knew I truly understood it at a far deeper level. And that I suppose is what an epiphany, what a Camino, is all about.

I just re-read your post. Almost for the first time... but yes, I did remember it, and see I had liked it. This time, this is what stood out:
A murmur of pink petals shaken and at once scattered over the grass slope. Something becoming something else.
Someone becoming someone else.
Thanks for the gift of your poetry, it is an image to keep right there in front of my eyes, not written down in a notebook!

 

[Kanga]

@KJFSophie I wish you a joyful next Camino. I do think of the instructions given by airline attendants - put the oxygen mask on yourself before attending to others. And if anyone is sucking all the oxygen out of your supply, then you need to walk away if you are to survive. I think that is especially true for anyone in the caring professions.

 

[yaying]

Something becoming something else

as we see the caterpillar
seems struggles to deformed
locked inside the cocoon
at the right time, a lovely & beautiful
will pop out soon... butterfly
_____
we see at the moment but not looking on it, regretful ending with out realizing it!

 

[kelleymac]

I saw a "Yo soy el Camino" written on a wall. And at that moment recognized the line from the Gospel of John. And my view of Christ and my life changed forever. I stood there suddenly seeing. -- I had always thought that when Jesus said he was "the Way" he meant a simple direction,-- not rocks and hills, hot sun, cold wind, and blisters and limping from too small shoes. I didn't realize that the Way was people and life-- and that somehow this is Christ.

 

[KJFSophie]

I saw a "Yo soy el Camino" written on a wall. And at that moment recognized the line from the Gospel of John. And my view of Christ and my life changed forever. I stood there suddenly seeing. -- I had always thought that when Jesus said he was "the Way" he meant a simple direction,-- not rocks and hills, hot sun, cold wind, and blisters and limping from too small shoes. I didn't realize that the Way was people and life-- and that somehow this is Christ.

YES!!! A million times YES !

 

[KJFSophie]

I have to say that the title of this thread rubs me the wrong way. I think that too many people walk the Camino thinking that they will have an epiphany, that the Camino will magically sort out their life and all their problems back home. I'm happy for all those who have gained this kind of insight, but the idea that everyone will have an epiphany on the Camino (though I know that wasn't the intention of this thread) can lead to disappointment. I remember reading a post here a couple of years ago, when I was new to the forum from a pilgrim who had been walking several weeks, and she wanted to know when she was going to have her epiphany, because she was disappointed that she hadn't had one yet.

I agree that one shouldn't have specific expectations, nor should they think some miracle will hit them between the eyes like a brick. But all motivation to do anything in life is fueled by something within...a desire for something. Getting out of bed in the middle of a cold night is motivated by the need and desire to empty a bladder and feel relief. Taking a simple drink of water is fueled by the desire to rid oneself of thirst.

It's no surprise then, that someone who intends to walk 800K across a foreign country wants to figure out why. Like you, I don't think seeking a specific and immediate outcome is beneficial. A better frame is that one remains completely open to the experience and know that it takes time to process such a huge endeavor. After all, for most, it takes months of planning just to go. Some walkers do receive immediate messages/answers/relief along the way...I think they were open and ready to hear them. For others, the camino is making you ready to grow, learn, accept... So to those expecting an immediate epiphany, I'd say, " It's coming, but in His time" . Just be open and patient.

 

[KJFSophie]

I saw a "Yo soy el Camino" written on a wall. And at that moment recognized the line from the Gospel of John. And my view of Christ and my life changed forever. I stood there suddenly seeing. -- I had always thought that when Jesus said he was "the Way" he meant a simple direction,-- not rocks and hills, hot sun, cold wind, and blisters and limping from too small shoes. I didn't realize that the Way was people and life-- and that somehow this is Christ.

" Yo soy el camino, la Verdad, y la Vida" I am the WAY, the truth, and the life.

 

[CaminoDebrita]

I won't stay up waiting and staring at the chimney if someone wishes to talk about Santa, just as I don't believe people expect their epiphany.

At Cruz de Ferro--similarly--don't expect to let all your burdens go, either! (sorry if I'm crushing anyone's plan).

 

[spagirl]

I have to say that the title of this thread rubs me the wrong way. I think that too many people walk the Camino thinking that they will have an epiphany, that the Camino will magically sort out their life and all their problems back home. I'm happy for all those who have gained this kind of insight, but the idea that everyone will have an epiphany on the Camino (though I know that wasn't the intention of this thread) can lead to disappointment. I remember reading a post here a couple of years ago, when I was new to the forum from a pilgrim who had been walking several weeks, and she wanted to know when she was going to have her epiphany, because she was disappointed that she hadn't had one yet.

Someone I know walked arrived in Spain to " walk the camino and sort out her life"
She had not trained at all, never put her pack on outside of the store, thought that the water was too heavy and dumped out not only hers but her walking companions. Her back was covered in rubbed raw spots , she was dehydrated and wouldn't stop in any of this dirty looking bars. Grabbed a taxi to her hotel because she couldn't sleep with strangers. She sent her pack ahead the next day and walked a few kilometres before getting in a taxi and quitting spending the rest of her time on a holiday.
I have no problem with that- its her time/money after all. Its what she said to me after....
All that talk of camino magic and the camino provides and you'll think your way to a solution- its a bunch of crap.
I believe all situations provide insight and we can learn from all of our experiences if we are open to the lesson that is there to be received.

just while getting ready for my walk the camino has sought me a great lesson.
I packed up my bag and began from day one training with all my kit in my pack. Guess what ???? It was too heavy. I was miserable. I lightened my load.
Im a few weeks from leaving for France and Spain and I am hosting back to back weddings in my garden, a neighbour asked me to look after her pets, My friend needs help with her divorce agreement, a friend needed to be picked up at an airport two hours away...I said yes, I said sure, I said ok, I said......
wait a minute ....... My pack is too heavy - take something out........

So sorry I am too busy right now, I can give you a name of a great pet sitter, the train is a really painless option, how about a recommendation for someone more available........
My " pack was too heavy" Lesson learned!
Thank you Camino!!!

 

[Former member 60103]

I have to say that the title of this thread rubs me the wrong way. I think that too many people walk the Camino thinking that they will have an epiphany, that the Camino will magically sort out their life and all their problems back home. I'm happy for all those who have gained this kind of insight, but the idea that everyone will have an epiphany on the Camino (though I know that wasn't the intention of this thread) can lead to disappointment. I remember reading a post here a couple of years ago, when I was new to the forum from a pilgrim who had been walking several weeks, and she wanted to know when she was going to have her epiphany, because she was disappointed that she hadn't had one yet.

Sorry that it "rub's you the wrong way" and you are correct to a degree. I recall whilst staying in one albergue overhearing the comment "Have you had an epiphany yet". I had a similar thought to your own only it did not rub me up the wrong way it merely gave me a wry smile. Truth is you don't need a camino to have an epiphany, original thought, realisation or insight - significant or otherwise. You just need peace and quiet and ideally a very long walk.
After one month on the Frances in all weathers a slight realisation caused by falling blossom, a couple of cans of Estrella and a free mind is not to be denied. Granted entitling it as an "epiphany" may have been a tad too far but there again , in my defence, you may not have read it had it been given another title.
Shortly to set off again , this time on the La Lana. Epiphany's ? I am not expecting any beyond the realisation that I am a year older, a year wiser and definitely a year happier.
Buen Camino.
Don.

 

[Albertagirl]

I had two "Epiphanies" on my first camino, one on my second, and none on my third. As I understand this, I was called to go on camino, for no particular reason that I was aware of, having never heard of the camino. Over time, I have experienced my caminos as retreat time, set aside for God and whatever He wishes to teach me. These teachings are what I experience, or define, as Epiphanies. I don't feel owed them, but I am grateful when they come. I am beginning to consider them one of the perks of getting older. There is so much for me to learn and so little time, so when I set aside time for spiritual learning in an appropriate environment, like the camino, maybe I will be shown the next thing I need to know. To summarize, I consider them as God's gift to me as a slow learner.