Does walking with others take away having an individual experience?

[Angelrawr]

Hi everyone,

I'm taking my first camino in less than 24 hours! (woot woot) I am walking alone because I have lots to think about, but I would really like to make some friends and walk in a group because it seems like a perfect time to make deep connections with others. Does having walking buddies take anything away from having an individual experience? Is there less time to think about what you came to think about? What were your experiences like?

Sincerely,

Angela

 

[Scarlet Fez]

Hi everyone,

I'm taking my first camino in less than 24 hours! (woot woot) I am walking alone because I have lots to think about, but I would really like to make some friends and walk in a group because it seems like a perfect time to make deep connections with others. Does having walking buddies take anything away from having an individual experience? Is there less time to think about what you came to think about? What were your experiences like?

Sincerely,

Angela

I hope not Angela as I start on Thursday, I gather sometimes it can actually be hard to actually walk alone rather than with company as is the Camino social spirit on the trail. Soon going to find out.

 

[Fearbocht]

I have done three individual weeks on the Camino over the last year. Two with a good mate and one on my own. Admittedly my experience of individual weeks might be totally different from someone doing a 5 week stint. What I have found is that when you are walking with a friend that you know well the two experiences are slightly different but not massively so. When you have your own little unit then you tend to have shallower or less frequent interactions with other walkers. However you do have lots of interactions. When I was walking on my own I really enjoyed the alone experience and found that I met and talked to a lot more people than I would have otherwise. Foodwise I tended to do less well than if I was with someone else as I had a tendency to settle for the first place I saw that had a quiet area...whereas with someone else there would be more of a tendency to have an initial plate to take the edge off the hunger and then find a nicer place with a fuller dining experience. I also tended to make slightly worse decisions in terms of stops, or which route to take or sun cream or whatever else without my more cautious friend to act as a control to my slightly more reckess nature. Having said that towards the end of the week walking on my own I had met and interacted with lots of pilgrims on the same walking cadence as me and had begun to forge conversational relationships. So in summary it is a slightly different experience, both have advantages and disadvantages, but I would stress it is only a slightly different experience and not hugely so.

In terms of walking on your own or in a group affecting the quality of your thinking I have found no remarkable difference. If you take it that the walking is 7-10 hours a day there is another 14-17 hours a day where you are in a relaxed zone and your subconscious when you are sleeping and all the downtime waiting for laundry, or eating or reading guidebooks for tomorrow's route, or your interactions with other people be they pilgrims, cafe customers, people on the street or hospitaleros allows all that thinking to get digested. Whether you are walking with one other person or with a large group it is only likely that they will "take" 3 hours of this 24 away from you...and the craic you have with them as well as listening to their stories or hearing their reflections on what you have to say to them can all greatly enhance your own thought distillation and digestion! So..the difference is not massive I would say for this either.

Buen Camino!

 

[Angelrawr]

Thanks everyone! Now to find a group that's willing to take me in! Haha

 

[Fearbocht]

Sometimes when I have that thought I am reminded of - I think - Groucho Marx's line about not ever wanting to be a part of a club that would allow the likes of me to be a member!

 

[SabsP]

When you walk with other people one or more of them will have to alter their pace for the slower one in the group. This is not a bad thing but has to be taken into consideration. It can cause frustration. I did saw groups though walking apart time to time to regroup at a certain stop/ café.
So of course it is doable to walk together but I think it is always better to talk it through so different members of the group won't be dissapointed when it does not work out well.

I prefer to walk alone, regularly meet up with people...talk for a while ( whilst walking or drinking a coffee) but then go on further by myself. This does not mean I am a loner, on the contrary, because after the first couple of days I meet other pilgrims who seem to have the same state of mind about walking / life. So we walk apart but cover the same distances and during the day we make arrangements where to stay for the night.
I made deep connections when on the Camino but in the evenings/ afternoons, not by walking long periods with someone.

Whatever/whoever will cross your path Angela : it will be good. Enjoy the experience and Ultreia!

 

[Bradypus]

I am a quite solitary and introverted person by nature. My wife often describes me to others as a married hermit with two kids (now adults). In general I much prefer to walk alone on long distance journeys: free to choose my own pace, distances, eating places, accommodation and so on. I also enjoy the silence and opportunity for reflection which that gives. I occasionally find interesting companions along the way with whom I enjoy a few hours walking together. An unexpected pleasure. Rarely for more than one day though. About once a year I walk for a few days with one particular friend I have known well for nearly 30 years and with whom I have a great deal in common. Often we chat and laugh a lot, but we are also happy and free to walk in silence together for long periods. Walking with others can be a challenge in managing each other's expectations. I am too much of a control freak to enjoy rising to that test. Personally I would not set out with the definite idea of finding and joining a "Camino family". From the way you phrase your question I suspect you are a very different person who would enjoy the experience. Something I think might be better left to happen spontaneously than forced in any way. The chemistry of walking companionship is complicated and mysterious: more alchemy than science. Just let it bubble away and see what happens.

 

[m108]

I am a quite solitary and introverted person by nature. My wife often describes me to others as a married hermit with two kids (now adults). In general I much prefer to walk alone on long distance journeys: free to choose my own pace, distances, eating places, accommodation and so on. I also enjoy the silence and opportunity for reflection which that gives. I occasionally find interesting companions along the way with whom I enjoy a few hours walking together. An unexpected pleasure. Rarely for more than one day though. About once a year I walk for a few days with one particular friend I have known well for nearly 30 years and with whom I have a great deal in common. Often we chat and laugh a lot, but we are also happy and free to walk in silence together for long periods. Walking with others can be a challenge in managing each other's expectations. I am too much of a control freak to enjoy rising to that test. Personally I would not set out with the definite idea of finding and joining a "Camino family". From the way you phrase your question I suspect you are a very different person who would enjoy the experience. Something I think might be better left to happen spontaneously than forced in any way. The chemistry of walking companionship is complicated and mysterious: more alchemy than science. Just let it bubble away and see what happens.

Of course, it depends on the person (introverted, extroverted - the first is "full" when they are alone, others when they are in the company). My experience is that at the time when I was in the company of someone who know him from before - the conversation starts about things that have been or will be. So you are not "here and now", but in the past / future. Some parts of the route can not remember because I was in a conversation. Such, I repeat that parts in the following years and it was better for me - I watched more and be more open to new friendships

 

[Sheffield James]

Both scenarios are within your control at all times, so Que sera sera!!
Buen Camino!

 

[Terrri]

Some parts of the route can not remember because I was in a conversation.

My exact thought as I was recalling my own experiences while reading these replies. One time I was walking with a fastpaced, talkative fellow and only vaguely recall some of the area we covered - it was raining pretty good and that is why I didn't mind the pace or the conversation. I walked with people who were part of groups - I think their groups were slower than they were. One day I walked with a lady and she seemed to want to stick together which wasn't my plan. I felt bad but she eventually moved on and I imagine she had a buen camino.

Some people want to find a group to walk with so I wonder why they don't find someone they know to walk with from the beginning. I have only walked with someone I know and never have started out alone but that doesn't mean we spend all our time together - if that was the case I would start out alone. I really enjoy my time alone.

Don't have any expectations and you won't be disappointed.

 

[Robo]

On my first Camino I went alone. (40 days) Most of the time I walked alone, which I liked. About 10-20% of the time I walked with others, which was also good. But regardless, most of the time I was connected in some way with others whom I had met along the way. Call it a Camino Family. So I would often catch up at breaks and usually for dinner, even if we didn't actually walk much together.

As others have said, you can chose to be alone...or not.

And also as others have said, be aware that walking with others means someone has to change their preferred walking speed. Which means that groups often drift apart whilst walking and drift back together at the breaks. Those with a similar walking speed will tend to stay together far better.

This year I walked a shorter Camino with my wife (10 days). Which did I prefer ? Is she watching ?

To reflect, have time to think, ponder the answers to life, to find yourself etc etc. Definitely alone is better..... It makes you engage with others too, when you seek company. So leads to lots of great connections.

For quality time with a significant other? That's cool too. But different.... You have your own company and so tend to spend less time with others.

 

[Registration]

Hi everyone,

I'm taking my first camino in less than 24 hours! (woot woot) I am walking alone because I have lots to think about, but I would really like to make some friends and walk in a group because it seems like a perfect time to make deep connections with others. Does having walking buddies take anything away from having an individual experience? Is there less time to think about what you came to think about? What were your experiences like?

Sincerely,

Angela

My hubby and I prefer to walk by ourselves and when meeting up with pilgrims along the routes have a short chat and then carry on again. We mostly all meet up at the next albergue and can then get better aquainted if wanted.

 

[Kitsambler]

On the Camino Frances in Spain, you are never really alone for long, it seems. Even if you walk by yourself, you will find you are in a clump of familiar faces. So you can walk alone for most of the way and still make plenty of friends.

"Upstream" of the Camino Frances there are fewer walkers - especially east of Le Puy. So pilgrims can expect much more solitude. I find that walking solo is an entirely different experience from walking with a partner or a group. Solo, I found others more readily interacted with me. Solo, I felt more vulnerable - in a way that helps achieve that pilgrim spiritual objective. Solo, I could write in my journal whenever I wanted. Also solo, I found the rainy time, the uphill grinds, and the late afternoon hours to be very challenging -- a friendly face to pick me up would have been very welcome!

 

[C clearly]

"Does walking with others take away having an individual experience?"

Of course it does! You cannot really have both at the same time. They have different advantages and disadvantages, so both experiences can be enjoyable and beneficial. You should not set out expecting to make "deep connections" with others. That may or may not happen, and it would be unfortunate to be disappointed. Maybe a deep connection with yourself will be made. But maybe not.

Also, it is by no means the norm for people to join in groups and walk together all the time. You can have a group that ebbs and flows, and meets some evenings, but many or most of the people walk all day alone and do not deliberately plan their meet-ups. Many of us prefer that more independent experience that is still frequently but unpredictably sociable.

 

[Seabird]

I chose to walk alone rather than join a Camino Family. I wanted to walk my own pace, stop when I wanted, sit as long as I wanted, take as many pictures as I wanted. Yet I really enjoyed talking with different people each day, sometimes walking a bit together, and I loved running into the same people multiple times and greeting them like old friends. But walking alone most of the time is a very different experience. I also walked alone in part because I wanted the opportunity to interact with locals. Even with my marginal Spanish, I had four really memorable conversations in villages, conversations that would not have gotten started if someone else were with me.

That said, I also chose to join a Camino Family my last two days, people I had seen, eaten meals with, gotten to know along the way. There was something truly special about walking into Santiago together.

You will know as you walk what you need -- solitude or companionship. Just be brave enough to tell someone you will see them at a rest stop if you need to walk alone.

Buen Camino!

 

[movinmaggie]

Hi everyone,

I'm taking my first camino in less than 24 hours! (woot woot) I am walking alone because I have lots to think about, but I would really like to make some friends and walk in a group because it seems like a perfect time to make deep connections with others. Does having walking buddies take anything away from having an individual experience? Is there less time to think about what you came to think about? What were your experiences like?

Sincerely,

Angela

I think you'll find that you can do both. I chose to walk alone and loved it. I also walked with others from time to time and even though those times were short, the connection was strong and meaningful in many ways. Wish you Buen Camino.

 

[VNwalking]

There are many good and wise words here, so there's little to add. Anyway, by now you're already on the plane.
Seconding what several others have said. Having a camino family does not mean that you're tied to them and walk in lock-step--or even that you walk together on a daily basis. Some people do this , but mostly it's more fluid than that. And if you want to have solitary time, you will. I couldn't have said it much better or more succinctly than @movinmaggie.
So happy landings and buen camino, Angela--whether it be alone or in company!

 

[james walter purdum iv]

your camino family will start at your first hostal and then whom ever has your pace will be your buddies

 

[OTH86]

Walking with others does not take anything away from solitary walking, as solitary walking does not take away from walking with others -- they are two different ways of walking. Try both! I usually prefer to walk alone, but have really enjoyed the times others catch up with me or I catch up with them. I don't pay as much attention to my surroundings when walking with others, alas... But I wouldn't want to have missed walking with and running into the four guys I met one day when I KNEW I would never make it to Logroño due to fatigue. But with their conversation, it was a snap!! Camino Angels they were, those guys! The next year when I walked that same section, I got to enjoy my surroundings AND remember the angels!
Buen Camino -- both ways!
Terry

 

[MTtoCamino]

I became very aware of my need to interact at during breaks but liked walking alone. Very much liked the companionship at diner, dislike eating alone. It made me aware that a pilgrimage alone on the Madrid to Ovidio to Santiago might make me a bit crazy. But it would be something to do since I am hard of hearing & my Spanish is not very good. It would be a very good pilgrimage.

 

[AdventureBecca]

Everything I was going to say has already been said!

You will have freedom to walk solo, with a Camino Family, or both. I did both.

I met my Camino Family on the first day. I was much slower than them, and had no intention of walking at any speed other that what felt comfortable to me at any given moment. Most days, I was quite slow and walked alone. Other days, I was quite fast and shared stories with my Camino Family. ALL days, I met up with my Camino Family at the end of the day. I had to compromise in terms the final destination for each day (they always decided to walk much farther than I would have preferred), but I never had to compromise on my speed or the amount of solitude/companiship I felt I needed. I was free to walk my Camino any way I wanted, always with the comfort of knowing my Camino Family was waiting for me at the end of the day.

I always say "your Camino will be whatever you need it to be... whether you know what that is or not." Just go with the flow, let it unfold one step at a time, and don't try to force anything. You'll naturally find company when you need it, and you'll naturally find solitude when you need it!

Buen Camino!

 

[Donna Sch]

Even walking with someone, there is plenty of time to get inside your own head and good walking partners recognise that. Sometimes you will talk endlessly, other times there will be silence. One of the lovely things about the Camino is that you don't have preconceptions of the people you meet. The things we usually ask of people at home are much less relevant. It is very much living in the present and I don't know how I would be walking with people I knew outside the Camino who have ties to your past and future because the conversations could be quite different.

 

[John Sikora]

I'd have to put it simply. I've only walked one Camino (SJPDP to Santiago). Planned on walking alone. But I was never alone. If I felt like talking I had someone to talk to. If not, everyone respected my wishes and just let me walk on. The best part of the Camino is knowing that if you want or need to talk to someone (just to pass the time or forget about the current hill or the pouring rain), just wait five minutes and someone with a a perspective unlike yours will open up new ideas (maybe some that you won't entirely like) and make that particular day unique.

Don't worry.

 

[Nanni Sender]

I hope not Angela as I start on Thursday, I gather sometimes it can actually be hard to actually walk alone rather than with company as is the Camino social spirit on the trail. Soon going to find out.

I have walked on my own and with a companion, and walking on my own was much better. I met wonderful people when I was alone and had far more meaningful conversations. People are more open to you if you're on your own. Don't ever be afraid to ask for help. I found people to be very generous.

 

[GRR]

Walking with others is a part of the individual experience. You walk, you meet people, you talk. You might let them go on, you might go on, you might find that you walk quite a ways together. I met a great group of folks and once we got together we rubber banded across the country. Sometimes together, sometime some ahead or some behind. We still keep in touch. It's all part of that personal experience.

Don't seek out to meet anyone. It will just happen.

 

[C clearly]

Walking with others is a part of the individual experience.

This is a brilliant reply!

 

[BARBARA Souter]

Hi everyone,

I'm taking my first camino in less than 24 hours! (woot woot) I am walking alone because I have lots to think about, but I would really like to make some friends and walk in a group because it seems like a perfect time to make deep connections with others. Does having walking buddies take anything away from having an individual experience? Is there less time to think about what you came to think about? What were your experiences like?

Sincerely,

Angela

I Walked with a newly met buddy for the first week and loved it. Two minds to look for arrows and great conversation. I miss him now but will find another.