Dazed or confused after Camino?

[joecamino]

I can't be the first person to come off the Camino-- weeks of living focused, fairly well-structured days-- and feel a little bit lost.

There's no job to jump back into. If I did get the flash of insight-- the "This is what you're gonna do with your life!" moment I'd hoped for-- well, I must have forgotten it along with my hat one morning.

Life is good. I'll be fine. And hopefully I'll be sweating across new lands soon. Just curious if anyone else can relate, and if so, how you dealt with it. Thanks.

 

[SYates]

..., how you dealt with it. Thanks.

After many years I got the message and moved to the Camino ;-) Buen Camino de la Vida, SY

 

[Waka]

I understand how you are feeling, my answer to this was to start planning the next one.

 

[Rick M]

Post Camino Syndrome. Its a thing. I expect that nearly everyone feels at least some of the symptoms. I bet the regular veterans on this forum are multiple-symptom sufferers for the most part. In my view, its the clarity and simplicity of life on the Camino that has such power to affect people in such a positive way. Not everyone of course, and not everyone the same way, or with the same intensity. Coming off the Camino leaves many feeling lost, because their mission is complete, and for the first time in a month, there is a wide choice in what to do next. Choices are hard - they have implications, complications, and consequences. Nothing like that on Camino. For others, they have to abandon one of the most rewarding experiences of their lives to go back to "The Real World", whatever that may may be. Either way, all those old implications, complications and consequences are sitting in the trunk of their car at Long Term Parking, waiting for them to get off the airport shuttle bus.

You are FAR from the only one who feels this way. I had lunch with a BA Airline pilot in Santiago. She finished a day before me and grabbed onto our group as we arrived at the cathedral. She looked so sad as we were feeling so elated. She confessed that 24 hours after her elated moment, she realized that she was no longer a pilgrim, and hanging around the square, she was just another tourist taking up table space meant for pilgrims. I thought to myself, "well thats a Debbie-Downer point of view", and felt much the same a she did the next days as I was greeting former walking partners in the square.

It passes........sort of. The Camino has a lasting effect on many. Its hard to forget. It can become addictive. It takes time to digest. Search for this on the forum......lots of points of view to be had.

 

[JamesGeier]

I have not felt lost in any way after the Camino Frances & Camino Finisterre. I did miss the simplicity of the life, and I did miss the deep camaraderie as well as the support of the people along the way. My friends and work colleagues tell me that the Camino did change me in subtle, but very positive ways; I have a very high-stress job, and the stress seems a less intrusive now.

My parents named me after Saint James, and the idea of walking the Camino popped up in my life several times, and then again on my travel home from the services after my mother passed away. It seemed that I was being told or maybe called to make the pilgrimage if for no other reason but to honor of my parents who named me after Saint James.

I had done a great deal of research before my Camino a year ago - read 14 books by people who walked the Camino Frances (my favorite: "The Way, My Way" by Bill Bennett), read this forum extensively, listened to podcasts, and talked to many people. When I returned home to the states, I sort-of assumed that I was done with the Camino. But a short few months after returning, I felt the calling again, even stronger than the first time. I'm not quite ready to move to Santiago like S.Yates, but I understand. My next Camino starts in St. Jean Pied de Port on September 12. I am deliberately going to walk the same route to see how I experience it differently; knowing more about what each day will bring will allow me to immerse myself in the beauty, the meditative, the spiritual, and the religious aspects of the pilgrimage.

I'm sorry, I'm seldom short of words... The short answer is that in the previous post - you deal with the feeling by planning the next one. (Maybe a different route to Santiago, maybe somewhere else, maybe the 88 temples of Shikoku, Japan.)
Buen Camino,
--jim--

 

[mspath]

We all remember and hope to give back a part of what has been gleaned. Some may serve as hospitaleros offering physical assistance to fellow pilgrims. Others share their journeys anew offering tips/advice by writing to unknown readers as for example in blogs, books or on this Forum....Every morning I wake and wonder how it might be walking that day in such heat or rain or snow. Every evening when offering silent thanks for the gift of the present day I give special thanks for personal camino memories and hope that I may "wear", a pilgrim shell until the end.

 

[jgpryde]

Last day in Spain

• jgpryde
• Jun 22, 2017

Daysano at the Albergue de Peregrinos de Irun. June 22, 2017

I just posted this pic of my last morning in Spain. It is this mornings daysano at Albergue de Peregrinos in Irun.
It kind of echos a similar image from my Orisson dinner and for me provides some closure.
Fortunately, I left a bunch of home maintenance tasks waiting for me at home so I won't have idle hands.
I will spend some time going thru about 1000 images on my phone and trying to organize these and all of the memories into a narrative that won't bore my friends and family to tears.
Then? I don't know but something will come up.

BC,

- jgp

 

[domigee]

@joecamino , I felt at a loss when I came back the first time. I had no idea why ...The Camino was constantly in my thoughts...
I had to keep quiet to family and friends least they were bored out of their minds. I shared my feelings with another pilgrim I had kept in touch with, thinking he would think me mad but he just said 'Yep, join the club!'
Since then, I have just kept on walking caminos!
It is difficult, leaving family and home for weeks at a time but I just have to do it...whilst I still can.
I am not sure if that helps and I have no answers but, yes, I can relate to your feelings

 

[domigee]

Every evening when offering silent thanks for the gift of the present day I give special thanks for personal camino memories and hope that I may "wear", a pilgrim shell until the end.

Beautifully put, @mspath , as always. Thank you

 

[Scottlovelace87]

Hi Joe,

What you are feeling is normal. The Camino is sometimes romanticized and may be looked at by some as a means to figure out your life or gain direction. I was guilty of thinking that way on my first Camino, I thought I would come back from this amazing adventure in Spain and I would have everything all figured out, all my questions would be answered and my problems solved. I felt slightly depressed when I returned home after my first Camino, I didn't gain any life altering insight, my problems were still there and so were the questions.

It wasn't until later, months after I returned that I started to realize the true beauty of the Camino and how it had slowly changed my perspective on certain things and also changed my attitude and outlook. These were small and subtle changes, but changes all the same. I initially returned from that first Camino saying to myself and to friends "The Camino was certainly an experience, but there is no way I am going back". Then two months after returning I was already planning my next trip to Spain for my second Camino. I felt a calling to return, and I also felt like I had unfinished business, I felt the Camino wasn't done with me and had to more to teach me ( I know that sounds strange On top of that, I only walked the last third of the Camino that first time, in my mind, I wasn't finished until I walked the entire Camino Frances.

It is now two years later and I am coming up on my third trip to Spain to finish my walk on the Camino Frances

 

[Kitsambler]

Every. Single. Time. I've come to expect this feeling of disorientation, and a bit of culture shock, now - and so I always plan for a transition day at the end of a journey. Where on earth did all these people come from? What is all this stuff in the shop windows? Surely these are questions that pilgrims have asked from time immemorial. In addition these days we get: What is the deal with all this traffic? Advertisements! Shouting headlines! So strange! A house? Full of stuff? What do I need with that?

Journals are helpful, by the way.

 

[joecamino]

Thank you all. Forum comes through again, with definite answer to the Am I alone question. In each of your replies is some piece of what I'm feeling.

Planning is good medicine. I'm now working on a trip to Innsbruck for a week or two, and feeling better. May not find all the answers there either, but I'll get to hike in the Alps! Thanks again!

 

[Camino Chrissy]

I thought my first Camino in 2015 was the only one I would be walking. I met a couple of other "soon to be" Camino friends on my first communal dinner at Corazon Puro. We three were all from the midwest USA and a day later exchanged email addresses in order to share pictures we'd taken together. After returning home my new friend, Lisa, asked if we'd be interested in meeting up in the coming fall for a weekend mini reunion. It was a wonderful experience as we shared photos, experiences and even had a tapas party, along with doing some hiking. It was so much fun sharing with these new friends all things Camino! It really helped eliminate the sad feelings that are so common among us after returning home. I've now done two additional Camino routes and am planning to walk the LePuy in France next June with one of my new Camino pals!

As many others on the forum often say..."Planning the next one is the best cure for the Camino blues!"

 

[nycwalking]

I went looking camino one. Camino two priest in Granon told me to read book of Jonah. And, same camino, upon meeting a veternarian pilgrim from Portugal he suggested I go home cause I'd already found my calling. Mini camino three and long camino four I knew why I was out there part Jonah part joy. Camino five can't take until I let Jonah out of whale's belly. I've seen and experienced camino meet-ups that became marriages; camino meet-ups change or realize vocations; caminos outstandingly miraculous and rather mundane. We all seem to actualize what we need, but not necessarily what we want. The camino is neither a panacea nor pandora's box: just a bit of both. And, therein....
Buen camino.

 

[pip2136]

I am starting my Camino for st jeans on the 29th of June . Just retired on the 28th of June . I am worried of feeling like that when I return home in August . But stay positive as I am sure something will come along .

 

[pip2136]

I am starting my Camino for st jeans on the 29th of June . Just retired on the 28th of June . I am worried of feeling like that when I return home in August . But stay positive as I am sure something will come along .

 

[tomnorth]

Reentry was challenging. After living such a simple life for weeks, modern life was a bit overwhelming at first. Eventually I got through it. I will go back and do a second Camino. Right now I'm planning on a second Camino Frances during the Fall of 2019, four years after my first. When I walked the first time I was grieving the death of my father. This next time I hope to have nothing to grieve. I'll be curious to see how that affects my perceptions.

 

[t2andreo]

Reentry was challenging. After living such a simple life for weeks, modern life was a bit overwhelming at first. Eventually I got through it. I will go back and do a second Camino. Right now I'm planning on a second Camino Frances during the Fall of 2019, four years after my first. When I walked the first time I was grieving the death of my father. This next time I hope to have nothing to grieve. I'll be curious to see how that affects my perceptions.

I have walked five times. Caminos #1, 3 & 4 were for me. However, number 2 and number 5 were far more meaningful.

Number two on the Frances was in memory of and Vicare Pro (in place of) my late brother. Consequently, I spent a lot of time reflecting on the life we had growing up together. It was very therapeutic and a good way to come to grief with an untimely passing. He was only 34. He warranted a special stone placed at Cruz de Ferro.

Number five, Camino Portuguese from Lisbon, this April & May, was Vicare Pro (in place of) my father, who passed this January. I had promised him that I would make a pilgrimage for him, when the time came. Little did we know it would happen sooner rather than later. But, he was 88 and in failing health. This Camino was an excellent way to grieve privately, to meditate on the life my dad gave me, and what a good man he was.

In addition, although as a veteran he was buried with military honors in the US, I chose to commemorate dad's life of service to country, family, and friends by conducting a private commitment ceremony on the Valenca - Tui bridge spanning the border from Portugal to Spain. As a navy veteran, dad always imbued us with a love for the ocean and water in general. So, I prepared a special stone for him. At the border line between Portugal & Spain, I mediated quietly as the sun was beginning to set in the west, over the Atlantic Ocean, said some prayers (we're Catholic) and read the Christian prayer for burial at sea (obtained from the US Navy web site). Once done, I gently slid him (his stone) "over the rail" literally, into the river below. My personal grief assuaged, I continued his memorial Camino into Santiago.

All this said, walking a Camino CAN be very therapeutic indeed.

I hope this helps.

 

[nycwalking]

I can't be the first person to come off the Camino-- weeks of living focused, fairly well-structured days-- and feel a little bit lost.

There's no job to jump back into. If I did get the flash of insight-- the "This is what you're gonna do with your life!" moment I'd hoped for-- well, I must have forgotten it along with my hat one morning.

Life is good. I'll be fine. And hopefully I'll be sweating across new lands soon. Just curious if anyone else can relate, and if so, how you dealt with it. Thanks.

Joecamino,

May Santiago, universe, God, great spirit guide you to "your way and your lost hat".
In time Joe, in time!

 

[JamesGeier]

I felt a calling to return, and I also felt like I had unfinished business, I felt the Camino wasn't done with me and had to more to teach me ( I know that sounds strange

Your words are exactly what I felt...a calling to return as if there was unfinished business and that the Camino was not done with me and there is more to be learned on the Camino. It does not sound strange to me at all. I am so looking forward to my Otono on El Camino.
Buen Camino!
--jim--

 

[shefollowsshells]

We all remember and hope to give back a part of what has been gleaned. Some may serve as hospitaleros offering physical assistance to fellow pilgrims. Others share their journeys anew offering tips/advice by writing to unknown readers as for example in blogs, books or on this Forum....Every morning I wake and wonder how it might be walking that day in such heat or rain or snow. Every evening when offering silent thanks for the gift of the present day I give special thanks for personal camino memories and hope that I may "wear", a pilgrim shell until the end.

Okay , so reading this I have tears in my eyes of emotion and children gathered around me asking me why I am crying!
Beautiful!!! you and your words!

 

[NicP]

Hey Joe, I'm please that you have taken heart at reading the comments above. You are not alone! Returning from the camino seems to be something that many people find somewhat disconcerting, in different ways and for different reasons. What ever the individual nuances, it seems that this is a common feeling. It certainly has been for me. It's over a year since I returned from my first camino, and with no sign of being able to return in the near future, I am still left with a lingering feeling that I need to get back there, in some way or another. Maybe there is some sort of metaphorical or figurative way of getting back there, but I am yet to find one which fills the space in my life that the camino has left. Don't get me wrong - like a lot of people commenting here, I have a life I love - with lots of good things and people, full of the challenges that life brings, and which keeps me more than busy enough. However, for some reason the camino still occupies a little piece of my mind and my heart... enough to get me out of bed slightly earlier than I otherwise would most days, in order to sneak a look at what's happening on the forum. I don't live anywhere near other pilgrims, that I know of, and so the forum provides a place for seeing what's on the minds of like-minded people... I'm not sure that I can advise you on how to "deal with" this feeling - my approach so far has been to accept the way that I about it, to mull it over in the quiet moments and see what further good I can get from it, try and walk more in my every day life (there is something about the rhythm of walking that seems somehow soothing and/or meditative) and, like others, daydream about getting back and walking the camino again at some stage... I'm sure you will find a way of dealing with this feeling that works for you. And take heart, as you are certainly not alone.

 

[leichecerca]

I can totally relate… Tears in my eyes as I read this thread. Completed my first Camino (the Frances) in early May of this year, returned to my formerly beloved apartment in a beautiful city I have always loved, but that suddenly feels like a stranger's place, filled with things that I don't need or want. I feel like a stranger in my old life. Like you, JoeCamino, I had no job to return to and had hoped to find on the Camino a burning bush or other way forward in my life, some kind of insight. It didn't work out that way, but I had an amazing time soaking up the beauty, communing with fellow pilgrims, enjoying the total freedom from responsibility and decision-making, and learning that my body could handle a 500-mile walk without injury. Mostly, it was an experience in being, rather than doing -- and, to paraphrase Mary Oliver, just "letting the soft animal of my body love what it loves" -- following my intuition, not planning ahead or making reservations, and not thinking much beyond the next meal. I have been profoundly sad since my return -- I find it difficult even to look at my 1800+ Camino photos, because it just reminds me of the loss of a time that was so joyful and free, and my life feels so empty and pointless now. I take a lot of very long walks these days, and that helps, but isn't the same. I miss living out of a small backpack, I miss the little yellow arrows guiding my way, I miss the friendly faces, magical synchronicities, and countless kindnesses from strangers that I was blessed with all along the Way. It seems obvious that the only cure is to return ... but sometimes I wonder whether this surprisingly painful withdrawal might suggest that perhaps the Camino is kind of an escapist fantasy? Is my sorrow in part an unwillingness to resume the responsibilities of "normal" adult life?

 

[kdespot]

Upon returning last fall and feeling the same sort of sad, post-Camino sentiment upon re-entry, I sat down and molded my ridiculously long blog (walkingthecamino2016.wordpress.com) into a concise 70 page book of photos and text. The project took me two months to put together and was wonderfully cathartic. I printed and bound it and that provided for me some sense of closure... for now. I also go to gatherings and hikes put on by American Pilgrims on the Camino occasionally because, kind and supportive as my dear family and friends might be, only another pilgrim really knows how it feels to have walked the Camino. And I stay connected to this forum.

 

[Debora]

Joe: To me it's like the spirit of love...you can't put it into words because you are feeling it with your heart. It's not something you can fully or properly explain to someone who has not walked a Camino. It feels like you're in a club that you want the whole world to join. It's not easy and sometimes it's not even fun when you're in the midst of it...but the Camino helps us remember simplicity and...other than love...everything we really need fits in a backpack! Buen Camino

 

[Peregrinopaul]

These are all very perceptive replies, and I found myself agreeing with everything I read. Like many people I took the easy way out and after a few months realised that I had to start planning my next one. But one thing I have found that helped immediately in a very stimulating way was to put that post-Camino energy, or frustration - whatever it is, into some structured way of communicating my experience to others. After my first VdlP, I gave a presentation to my parish community, and a surprising number of people showed up. I’m only a week off my recent journey and I've been “saved” this time by my brother, who messaged me immediately after my arrival in Santiago, asking me to write a piece for him to use for the volunteer reading-to-the-blind sessions that he’s involved in. I found myself making an immediate start, sitting outside the little bar on Rua do Conga. A week out, and I've finished it already, and if it helps this conversation, here's the last paragraph that plenty of you will identify with.

“And one day, I guarantee, you'll be walking down a street in some far away capital city, by chance wearing your well-worn souvenir camino T shirt, and someone will bail you up with a “Hey Peregrino!” And it'll be time to head for the nearest bar to …well, reminisce with a kindred spirit.”

 

[Richmond Gardner]

I am starting my Camino for st jeans on the 29th of June . Just retired on the 28th of June . I am worried of feeling like that when I return home in August . But stay positive as I am sure something will come along .

The world is your oyster! You can just go again, whenever you want

 

[Judy Jane]

I am starting my Camino for st jeans on the 29th of June . Just retired on the 28th of June . I am worried of feeling like that when I return home in August . But stay positive as I am sure something will come along .

I think walking the Camino will be a perfect transition into retirement. You will return home with a feeling of success & rejuvenation. I am still on a high. We returned June 20th, 2017. We pushed ourselves beyond our limits. Tried a completely new journey that was foreign to us. Yes I miss being on the walk....a lot.... But life has responsibilities that we must accept & return to. My Husband is retired I am in my late 50's with a couple years before retirement. We are both on the heavier side. Walked all 799.5 km of the Way of St. James. One man at the end said..."If you can do this you can do anything"....I believe that to be true. Buen Camino & Happy ever after.

 

[jeannick]

Hey bro , glad to see you walked the walk , for the empty feeling , don't worry ,
it's like when you throw all the odd rubbish in the garage , it feel empty afterward
I forgot a lot of things which seemed important but not really
an issue is endorphin addiction ,
I was so pumped up , going back to my lazy beer drinking footy watching self felt weird
maybe it is

 

[Debora]

I can totally relate… Tears in my eyes as I read this thread. Completed my first Camino (the Frances) in early May of this year, returned to my formerly beloved apartment in a beautiful city I have always loved, but that suddenly feels like a stranger's place, filled with things that I don't need or want. I feel like a stranger in my old life. Like you, JoeCamino, I had no job to return to and had hoped to find on the Camino a burning bush or other way forward in my life, some kind of insight. It didn't work out that way, but I had an amazing time soaking up the beauty, communing with fellow pilgrims, enjoying the total freedom from responsibility and decision-making, and learning that my body could handle a 500-mile walk without injury. Mostly, it was an experience in being, rather than doing -- and, to paraphrase Mary Oliver, just "letting the soft animal of my body love what it loves" -- following my intuition, not planning ahead or making reservations, and not thinking much beyond the next meal. I have been profoundly sad since my return -- I find it difficult even to look at my 1800+ Camino photos, because it just reminds me of the loss of a time that was so joyful and free, and my life feels so empty and pointless now. I take a lot of very long walks these days, and that helps, but isn't the same. I miss living out of a small backpack, I miss the little yellow arrows guiding my way, I miss the friendly faces, magical synchronicities, and countless kindnesses from strangers that I was blessed with all along the Way. It seems obvious that the only cure is to return ... but sometimes I wonder whether this surprisingly painful withdrawal might suggest that perhaps the Camino is kind of an escapist fantasy? Is my sorrow in part an unwillingness to resume the responsibilities of "normal" adult life?

Wow. Your post was so sweet. I think the Camino strips everyone down to the basics and returns them to the beginning...which includes kindness, love, joy, and needing so very little. The world today is so full of distractions and the Camino has very little distractions. I think the Camino is not done with you yet. It's asking you to make a plan...it's calling you back. When? It doesn't matter. It will wait patiently for you and be oh so very happy to see you again.

 

[Ralph Keith Redhead]

I started 2005 - Francès - injured both feet and as good as ordered to go no further - went home, by 2016 healthy and fit to do Francés - injured my ankel, 1 km out of Pamplona, needed a weeks rest in Pamplona and told to go home - completed the Frances though (on a crutch!) Camino this year - Inglés, testing the old ankel; finished it.... But I tell you what... they all had meaning for me, even the failed first in 2005, and I believe my Camino lasted from 2005 - 2017, and is still happenning. When people asked me this year 'when did you start your Camino?' I automatically answered 2005 and realised it is true, and I'm still on it and will go soon again. Its never over, I feel a 'tug-tug-tugging' all the time, but have resolved so many dilemas in my life because of the Camino ;-) Yes, my lamenting afterwards is always there, and I have to get back, to live and learn, find that deep place within and touch it. Ask yourself, meditate and pray if you do, what's your soul learnt from the experience, even the tiniest of things, and is now missing-yearning for. Either that or get with some friends and have a pint or two What ever does it for you. Love, Light & Nature to you all.
PS Don't forget the Camino Companions at the Pilgrim Office in Santiago de Compostella. A wonderful service run by equally wonderful people - it really is good to sit and talk to someone at the end, say a few prayers if you want, read some poetry, even if you 'think' you don't need it

 

[Mike Savage]

Congratulations Ralph Keith Redhead that is wonderful!