I enjoyed being an empty vessel with the start of each new day, and just allowing the each day to unfold. Along the way, I encountered many people from all over the world. I also had interactions with local people, despite my poor Spanish. Each person left an impression with me.
Each day, my "vessel" began to fill with positive experiences. From time to time, I would render assistance to someone - anyone who needed anything, without limit or qualification. Usually this was a fellow pilgrim, but on a few occasions it happened to be a local person. This just seemed to be something I fell into without effort or thought. Perhaps it was my personality or "inner nature" coming out. Perhaps I wanted to "BE" the Camino.
In any event, each encounter further filled my "vessel" with positive experiences. I saw soul-altering landscapes, buildings, and daily scenes of activity. The vessel kept filling up.
Over the days, then weeks, there began to emerge an accumulation of thought and feeling that I became consciously aware of. While earlier, I did not consider or contemplate the meaning or effect of the many interactions, views, and encounters I had along the way, after some time, the accumulated feelings began to surface. I became consciously aware of inner change. I know it sounds hokey, but it was and is real to me.
Each evening, I would reflect on that day, the things I did , saw, and experienced. I also gave some thought to what I might do differently the next day to enhance my overall experience.
The entire five weeks I walked from St. Jean to Santiago were a long course in learning, understanding (myself and others), forgiveness (again myself and others), contemplation and meditation (sometimes religious - other times mostly just emptiness - allowing the day to provide a focus). I liken it to sort of Zen-like meditative state. My "mantra" was the sounds of my boots on the path or the cadence of my rubber-tipped hiking poles.
The overall result was a thorough cleansing, a purging if you will of mind, soul and body. I arrived at Santiago understanding more and better both about me as a person and about the world, writ large. In short, I finally "got it." THAT was the seminal moment for me.
As an aside, I suffer from lifelong depression manifested as anhedonia and dysthymia. In 2006, I was diagnosed with PTSD and an anxiety disorder related to my profession. This combination of issues led to my early medical retirement at age 53. For me, walking the
Camino Frances was a cathartic, life-altering, and soul healing experience. It also helped center (not cure) much of my mental issues. So, the bottom line is that I now believe that I need to do more Caminos to maintain that new balance.
And that is why I keep coming back to this forum and my extended, though largely anonymous "Camino Family." It is also why I am setting a personal goal of trying to do at least one Camino route each year for as long as my health and finances allow.
Happy New Year to all!