LIVE from the Camino Connecting with people on the camino

[Cbee03]

Hi there! I'm currently on the camino but as a 19 year old queer vegan who's on a bit of a tighter budget so not really as able to join in with bars/dinners out, I'm really struggling to connect with others who are also walking the camino. I've been feeling really worn down and the lack of connection is taking a toll on my mental health, especially seeing so many others who have made good friends. It's a shame because I am really enjoying the walk itself and the scenery, I'm just finding the long afternoons and evenings alone hard. I was wondering if there's anyone else who is currently walking who's of a similar age/circumstance who wanted to be friends? Or if anyone has any tips!
Thanks!

 

[SabsP]

Hi there! I'm currently on the camino but as a 19 year old queer vegan who's on a bit of a tighter budget so not really as able to join in with bars/dinners out, I'm really struggling to connect with others who are also walking the camino. I've been feeling really worn down and the lack of connection is taking a toll on my mental health, especially seeing so many others who have made good friends. It's a shame because I am really enjoying the walk itself and the scenery, I'm just finding the long afternoons and evenings alone hard. I was wondering if there's anyone else who is currently walking who's of a similar age/circumstance who wanted to be friends? Or if anyone has any tips!
Thanks!

Hi @Cbee03 .Some advice from a 53 year old cis female and regularly eating meat ( and yes most probably on a less tight budget than you).
Yes , lack of connection can wear you down when you walk a Camino alone.
You will most probably stay in albergues? Why not try to start a simple conversation with another single person.Try not to limit yourself to someone of your age because IMHO the Camino is the perfect place to " think out of the box ".You never know what that quiet 70 plus grumpy male pilgrim has to offer you in terms of conversation. Or that bubbly 40 plus lady?

Big groups can be a bit intimidating but focus on that other solo pilgrim. Yes, it might be possible you receive a negative vibe but more often it will result into something positive.

Buen Camino and all the best to you! You can do this!

 

[trecile]

If you're staying in an albergue with kitchen facilities you can offer to cook a vegan meal with everyone chipping in to purchase ingredients. Throw in a bottle of wine and you should all have a good time.

Or just befriend another solo pilgrim and ask if they want to join you for dinner.

 

[RJM]

I met many younger pilgrims on tight budgets on the Camino. They are out there. Good luck. Ultreia

 

[VNwalking]

I'm just finding the long afternoons and evenings alone hard.

Understandable!
Sabine's right.
It's fine on the camino to go up to someone and strike up a conversation. Keeping it simple and at first to general topics will encoyrage connection - everyone out there is doing the same thing. So conversation openers about where you walked from that day - or sore feet - will usually be good ways to begin connecting. You'd be surprised to know what you share woth the most unexpected people.

 

[mspath]

The weather is always a handy topic to start a conversation as is footwear. Offering chocolates or fruit while resting is also good.

For many suggestions on how/what to chat see this this earlier thread filled with tips.

May you enjoy much "Happy Talk" as you go along.

 

[Former member 49149]

Hi there! I'm currently on the camino but as a 19 year old queer vegan who's on a bit of a tighter budget so not really as able to join in with bars/dinners out, I'm really struggling to connect with others who are also walking the camino. I've been feeling really worn down and the lack of connection is taking a toll on my mental health, especially seeing so many others who have made good friends. It's a shame because I am really enjoying the walk itself and the scenery, I'm just finding the long afternoons and evenings alone hard. I was wondering if there's anyone else who is currently walking who's of a similar age/circumstance who wanted to be friends? Or if anyone has any tips!
Thanks!

Others have given you good tips above my post.
I guess it can be hard to risk trying to break in on what might look like a closed group... Sorry I am neither walking nor of your age group! Guess what? I know it is no compensation, but at least you have spoken up here on the forum, and you have now got some people looking out for how your camino will be going from here on in! If you have not managed to connect with anyone this evening, let tomorrow be a new day, and be on the lookout for chatting a bit with some on the same stretch of the camino as yourself. I will keep an eye out for your messages along the way so buen camino, don't force it, but be on the alert.

 

[VNwalking]

Common humanity - regardless of age, gender, nationality, race, food preferences, or whatever - never fails to surprise and delight. Especially on the camino. So if you can tap into that, starting a conversation with what is common - like weather or feet - it opens a door.

 

[J Willhaus]

We found that we met and befriended people on the Camino we might never have befriended in our everyday lives due to age, work, nationality, where we live, etc. We have more in common than we have difference.

There are some special albergues that you might consider where hospitality is a highlight and you can meet some new people. Usually they have a community dinner and would be likely to include you in meal planning and preparation. Usually these places are staffed by volunteers. Santa Maria Albergue in the church in Viana, Santiago church albergue in Logrono,
Granon Hospital de Peregrinos just 6 km past Santo Domingo; Tosantos just past Belrado, Santa Maria in Carrion de los Condes (singing and music). These are mainly church affiliated albergues with international volunteers as hospitaleros. There optional opportunities for meditations, pilgrim blessings, community meals, music, etc They are all donativo or donation based so often attract a diverse group of pilgrims-younger, older, various nationalities- but I think you might find it easier to be a part of things in these types of places. You don't have to be religious to have a good time in most of these places.

 

[trecile]

If you can, stay at Albergue Verde in Hospital de Órbigo - they serve a delicious communal vegan dinner made with veggies from their garden.

Albergue Verde | Albergue de Peregrinos en Hospital de Órbigo | Gronze.com

Información del albergue de peregrinos Albergue Verde, en Hospital de Órbigo: Precio, plazas, características, etc...

www.gronze.com

 

[Cbee03]

Thank you everyone for your lovely responses, understanding and tips! I've decided to take an easy day and only walk 5km to the next town, to take care of myself and build up my energy reserves. I will try some of these tips and keep you all updated with how I get on ♡♡

 

[Former member 49149]

Good to see you checking back! I have just read an article posted by @kelleymac above, maybe while you are recalibrating it might give you some new perspective. I see where you are from, so this is for you:
ps: if you are at a loose end, have a look at the post by @everyday.journeys - a family from England walking together, I just came across it..Lovely.

 

[Cbee03]

Hi all! To give you another update, I walked the 5km today and after some reflection decided that at this point in time the 100km I've walked so far is enough for me. It's the farthest Ive ever walked before and a massive achievement and I have really enjoyed my time on the camino but now with the heat ramping up I don't want to keep pushing myself - after all, I am still young and there will be plenty of time to walk the rest in future years! I really appreciate the support everyone has shown on this forum though, I think I will definitely be back at a later date to continue my journey! ❤

 

[Antonius Vaessen]

Hi there! I'm currently on the camino but as a 19 year old queer vegan who's on a bit of a tighter budget so not really as able to join in with bars/dinners out, I'm really struggling to connect with others who are also walking the camino. I've been feeling really worn down and the lack of connection is taking a toll on my mental health, especially seeing so many others who have made good friends. It's a shame because I am really enjoying the walk itself and the scenery, I'm just finding the long afternoons and evenings alone hard. I was wondering if there's anyone else who is currently walking who's of a similar age/circumstance who wanted to be friends? Or if anyone has any tips!
Thanks!

Perhaps you could change over to a less crowded Camino. The big crowds on the Camino Frances don't paradoxical necessarily make contact easier. You see a lot of people but in the evening people spread out over the many albergues and restaurants. Everyday you see new faces. The crowds are like "loose sand" with can make it hard if you're walking alone. On other caminos like the Sanabres/Primitivo or Salvador there are enough pilgrims you can have contact with but they don't spread out that much. You can expect to see many of them in the albergue. The fact that you are vegan could be a complicating factor, I imagine that there are more possibilities on the Frances, but I am not sure of that

 

[Peregrinopaul]

... " think out of the box ".You never know what that quiet 70 plus grumpy male pilgrim has to offer you in terms of conversation. Or that bubbly 40 plus lady?

I remember feeling exactly as the OP describes, in Ourense. I went out and brought back a bottle of wine. "Would anyone like a glass of vino tinto?" I was immediately joined by Japanese gentleman who spoke good English and was hilarious company. We met again by chance at Madrid airport, both waiting to fly home. We greeted each other like long-lost brothers.

 

[MelissaKay]

Hi there! I'm currently on the camino but as a 19 year old queer vegan who's on a bit of a tighter budget so not really as able to join in with bars/dinners out, I'm really struggling to connect with others who are also walking the camino. I've been feeling really worn down and the lack of connection is taking a toll on my mental health, especially seeing so many others who have made good friends. It's a shame because I am really enjoying the walk itself and the scenery, I'm just finding the long afternoons and evenings alone hard. I was wondering if there's anyone else who is currently walking who's of a similar age/circumstance who wanted to be friends? Or if anyone has any tips!
Thanks!

Where are you now?! We just made it to Estella a little while ago and if you’re nearby, we’d love to have you walk with us!

 

[Dilbin]

Hi there! I'm currently on the camino but as a 19 year old queer vegan who's on a bit of a tighter budget so not really as able to join in with bars/dinners out, I'm really struggling to connect with others who are also walking the camino. I've been feeling really worn down and the lack of connection is taking a toll on my mental health, especially seeing so many others who have made good friends. It's a shame because I am really enjoying the walk itself and the scenery, I'm just finding the long afternoons and evenings alone hard. I was wondering if there's anyone else who is currently walking who's of a similar age/circumstance who wanted to be friends? Or if anyone has any tips!
Thanks!

Hi. I sincerely wish you the best with your circumstances. One suggestion I have is to stay only at municipal albergeus and buy your breakfast and lunches at supermercados. This may help to free up some money for a drink or meal in the evenings. Be honest ie. that u are on a budget. As you are vegan ordering salads will not only be cheap but save you having to explain yourself each night. Hopefully the current trend will change and you start to hook up with some folks. Personally I'm incredibly outgoing and would have no problem approaching pilgrims in the albergues and suggesting communal eating etc which is always a fraction of the cost. Best of luck in the coming days and stay in touch to let us know how you are. Yours sincerely Daniel

 

[Ryan Alexander]

Hi there! I'm currently on the camino but as a 19 year old queer vegan who's on a bit of a tighter budget so not really as able to join in with bars/dinners out, I'm really struggling to connect with others who are also walking the camino. I've been feeling really worn down and the lack of connection is taking a toll on my mental health, especially seeing so many others who have made good friends. It's a shame because I am really enjoying the walk itself and the scenery, I'm just finding the long afternoons and evenings alone hard. I was wondering if there's anyone else who is currently walking who's of a similar age/circumstance who wanted to be friends? Or if anyone has any tips!
Thanks!

There's been some very good kind responses here and VNwalking put it best but to be frank, speaking as someone who has done both of my caminos as a "vegan", no one cares what you eat and what labels you assign yourself in this PC culture, be kinder to yourself and do as others have suggested, find common ground and unity. God's speed!

 

[TrvlDad1]

Hi there! I'm currently on the camino but as a 19 year old queer vegan who's on a bit of a tighter budget so not really as able to join in with bars/dinners out, I'm really struggling to connect with others who are also walking the camino. I've been feeling really worn down and the lack of connection is taking a toll on my mental health, especially seeing so many others who have made good friends. It's a shame because I am really enjoying the walk itself and the scenery, I'm just finding the long afternoons and evenings alone hard. I was wondering if there's anyone else who is currently walking who's of a similar age/circumstance who wanted to be friends? Or if anyone has any tips!
Thanks!

As an older walker (73), I’ve found I have to start most conversations with others but their age is not a deterrent. Sitting alone at a table next to a group (a walking group vs. a coach group), I’ve found there is usually a chance to jump in as most conversations are about Camino or life as we all experience/suffer it. You’ll know right off if they are insular or open and almost always they are open. If not, they will usually remember you and may initiate a conversation later. All that said, I also like the solitude of Camino and often just listen. Even then I find someone will notice and draw me in.

 

[Gerard Griffin]

It can be estranging watching others chatting and laughing together and feeling left out. But you too can go to the ball ...

Choose small private hostels and donativos. Use gronze.com to identify these places and read the comments section to find out if the have a communal meal.

There are many but Granon, Santa Cruz in Sahagun, Refugio Guacelmo in Rabanal and the wonderful vegan hostel Serbal y La Luna are good examples.

Speaking personally, as an old galoot, I'd love to meet someone like you, so different from the people I meet most of the time.
So I think would many of the pilgrims in my age-group who have no real idea what's going on on the world any more.

You'll be a star, a happy memory for all those fortunate enough to run across you. Maybe even a Camino Legend (Have you met ...
No, but I met someone who walked with them a while back ...).

 

[Former member 49149]

Unless I missed something, post 13 tells us that the OP has come to the conclusion that the 100km is fine for now...or am I misreading...

 

[SabsP]

Unless I missed something, post 13 tells us that the OP has come to the conclusion that the 100km is fine for now...or am I misreading...

No, you are not misreading . Again a good reminder for all of us to read a thread from the beginning. That way you " get " the flow and content of the full thread.

@Cbee03 : safe travels home!

 

[Camino Chrissy]

I agree @SabineP that reading a thread beginning to end is best, but sometimes when it has oodles and oodles of posts before I happen to notice its existence, I can be guilty of skimming through and don't have the full picture and have missed important information. I am sometimes impulsive; not a good thing much of the time as my responsive post can be "old news".

 

[Dilbin]

I agree @SabineP that reading a thread beginning to end is best, but sometimes when it has oodles and oodles of posts before I happen to notice its existence, I can be guilty of skimming through and don't have the full picture and have missed important information. I am sometimes impulsive; not a good thing much of the time as my responsive post can be "old news".

Well I'm fairness when I opened it earlier it began with the original post to which I made a reply. The first instinct was to be helpful and unfortunately I did not notice that the thread was from yesterday. Oops

 

[sharonmonty]

Well I'm fairness when I opened it earlier it began with the original post to which I made a reply. The first instinct was to be helpful and unfortunately I did not notice that the thread was from yesterday. Oops

It’s all useful info for others in a similar position!

 

[mosey marty]

Hi there! I'm currently on the camino but as a 19 year old queer vegan who's on a bit of a tighter budget so not really as able to join in with bars/dinners out, I'm really struggling to connect with others who are also walking the camino. I've been feeling really worn down and the lack of connection is taking a toll on my mental health, especially seeing so many others who have made good friends. It's a shame because I am really enjoying the walk itself and the scenery, I'm just finding the long afternoons and evenings alone hard. I was wondering if there's anyone else who is currently walking who's of a similar age/circumstance who wanted to be friends? Or if anyone has any tips!
Thanks!

My tip is to forget for this purpose (the Camino) that you're a 19-year-old queer vegan and to think of yourself in these days simply as a peregrino, one of the community of peregrinos out there with whom you share so much else aside from whatever may be differences of age, sexuality, and/or food preference. I walked from St. Jean to Santiago last September, and I met such wonderful people of all types and descriptions because we made our commonalities the basis of our relationships. This might be a helpful focus for you too. Believe me, there's a world of connection waiting for you along those many miles.

 

[Robo]

Hi @Cbee03 . I hope you're going OK.
And that you'll return to the Camino one day.
I tend to prefer to walk a Camino alone, but it can be a very lonely experience at times.
Those other Pilgrims I have tended to 'bond' with, I did not generally meet in bars or over dinners, but on the trail.

I met some amazing people, who I wouldn't have approached 'at home' but somehow the Camino makes it easier. We're on the same journey and same path, quite literally. Just a casual 'Hola' or 'Buen Camino' to a fellow Pilgrim on the path can lead to great conversations.

And those chance meetings and friendships however brief are often with people who would normally be in totally different social circles for whatever reason. But the Camino brings us together.

 

[Former member 95219]

I guess my big learning as someone who does a lot of solo travel for months on end is that ‘closed groups’ of seemingly close friends are often anything but that! . Often they have met that same or day before, or are staying at same hostel etc. And they normally happy to welcome more to the groups! I just did a 3 day trip with 3 folks I had never met before and on the last day we met a group who thought we were all family!!

And don’t let age be a barrier. I have done many adhoc days with folks half my age that I wouldn’t have done in anything other than a travel scenario!

 

[grayland]

The OP has decided to go home and return to finish another day..after a lot of very good advice from members.
( see post #13 above)

The thread will be closed for now.