Bringing the fellowship home

[VNwalking]

I had a wonderful experience on the Camino in March this year, after I happened to be staying at the albergue in Rabe with a devoutly Catholic family from Alaska. We'd had a lively heartfelt discussion that night, and the next day walked to Hontanas together in a driving sleet storm. There was such a powerful sense of connection and commonality among us all--one that included our many differences in views and opinions about things of the world rather than denying them. As far as the world went, we couldn't have been more different--but it really didn't matter. We were pilgrims in the freezing wind and we took care of each other with genuine care, kindness, and respect.

So it is here on the forum. Given the wide variety of avatars, I'm willing to bet that there's huge diversity here, of ages, genders, political views, ideas of what 'fun' is...whatever. And yet, by and large, we're a remarkably kind and respectful and helpful bunch. Even when we disagree, there's a foundation of care and mutual dependence. We're all in the same pilgrim boat.

Yes, we have a wonderful group of very good and patient and vigilant mods, and rules about where not to go...but...it works, I think, in large part because the spirit of the Camino holds us here just as it does out there.

Today, the question in my mind given everything is how can we as peregrinos and peregrinas bring this attitude to where we live, and use it as a tool to bridge the widening gaps in our communities and countries?

All over the world there's a crescendo of nastiness coming from all sides--anger, name calling, demonizing each other. The more it happens, the more we do it--it's a horrible feedback loop. But can we pilgrims somehow harness the togetherness that comes from long walking to help put the brakes on this? What are we going do about it?

I have no idea. But if we can do this in Spain and here on the forum, we should be able to bring it home. We can all connect, and model the kindness that comes from that. Once people meet 'the other,' and see 'them' at a heart level, separation and any '-ism' that results becomes impossible.

Our world needs us to try something different...and much is at stake.

 

[Kiwi-family]

My husband is fond of reminding us that unity does not mean uniformity.
Compassionate respectful disagreement is possible - and although my 18-year-old-son disagrees with me, I believe it is not a bad thing!

 

[dougfitz]

@Viranani, my personal observation is that, on the camino, the issues that divide people can become less important than the objectives that are shared. This results in the latter being able to unify pilgrims, at least for the duration of their pilgrimage. Afterwards, when those shared objectives are more remote, their unifying power wanes. It can be brought home, but my feeling is only in places like this forum, friends associations and the like. And there are plenty of opportunities of that nature where we can continue to contribute.

 

[Albertagirl]

I had a wonderful experience on the Camino in March this year, after I happened to be staying at the albergue in Rabe with a devoutly Catholic family from Alaska. We'd had a lively heartfelt discussion that night, and the next day walked to Hontanas together in a driving sleet storm. There was such a powerful sense of connection and commonality among us all--one that included our many differences in views and opinions about things of the world rather than denying them. As far as the world went, we couldn't have been more different--but it really didn't matter. We were pilgrims in the freezing wind and we took care of each other with genuine care, kindness, and respect.

So it is here on the forum. Given the wide variety of avatars, I'm willing to bet that there's huge diversity here, of ages, genders, political views, ideas of what 'fun' is...whatever. And yet, by and large, we're a remarkably kind and respectful and helpful bunch. Even when we disagree, there's a foundation of care and mutual dependence. We're all in the same pilgrim boat.

Yes, we have a wonderful group of very good and patient and vigilant mods, and rules about where not to go...but...it works, I think, in large part because the spirit of the Camino holds us here just as it does out there.

Today, the question in my mind given everything is how can we as peregrinos and peregrinas bring this attitude to where we live, and use it as a tool to bridge the widening gaps in our communities and countries?

All over the world there's a crescendo of nastiness coming from all sides--anger, name calling, demonizing each other. The more it happens, the more we do it--it's a horrible feedback loop. But can we pilgrims somehow harness the togetherness that comes from long walking to help put the brakes on this? What are we going do about it?

I have no idea. But if we can do this in Spain and here on the forum, we should be able to bring it home. We can all connect, and model the kindness that comes from that. Once people meet 'the other,' and see 'them' at a heart level, separation and any '-ism' that results becomes impossible.

Our world needs us to try something different...and much is at stake.

@Viranani
Who I am is being formed by the Camino. And who I am becoming is much more sociable and responsive to others' needs. I think that this will inevitably carry over into my everyday life. I'm not sure how, but in a person to person way and in the organizations in which I try to serve the needs of others.
I have not gotten very far with this yet, but it seems to be the direction in which my experiences on the Camino are taking me, and not just with those whom I meet through the Camino.

 

[VNwalking]

the issues that divide people can become less important than the objectives that are shared.

Afterwards, when those shared objectives are more remote, their unifying power wanes.

I agree entirely, Doug.
And...it's bigger than just getting to Santiago or making it through the sleet to the next town. We all share the same basic human objectives.

In our home communities or the world at large, if we can connect each other and the basic understanding that we're all in the same boat (together as though we were fellow pilgrims--because we are), then the same attitudes of respect and kindness will come to the fore.

The Camino (and this forum) are in part so precious because they show us the basic truth of our shared humanity. So how to bring it home--not only in our hearts, but also to our ever more divided communities?
How to use what we know as pilgrims keep those divisions from growing ever wider?

I think if we come to the camino and experience its precious magic of unification, but then go home and turn a blind eye to division, separation, road rage, racism, gratuitous name calling, you name it...whatever...we have lost a precious opportunity.

(Just to clarify--I'm pointing the finger at myself here, as much as anything--and posing the question not to tell you all that "you must do this" but because I feel at a loss as to how to do it myself. It seems that hatred and anger and division are metastasizing in our world and I'm as guilty as the next person at living in my own little bubble of agreeable agreement. But that has consequences, not the least of which being disconnection from each other and from each others' realities.)

 

[NualaOC]

After my first Camino, my lasting memory was of connecting with wonderful people. Although I only walked for two weeks, it was a life-changing experience and I felt that I'd met the nicest people in the world. When I returned the following years to complete the CF, I also experienced great joy in the human connections and I recall wondering if we are all a better version of ourselves on the Camino.

I've since reflected many times on the ease with which such connections are made on the Camino, even in those short encounters with a pilgrim we may never meet again, or when we don't speak the same language. I agree with @dougfitz that our shared objective is a big factor. There's no need for the usual small-talk when we meet someone for the first time - there's a shared goal that eases us into the conversation. We can also walk comfortably in silence with another pilgrim, without any awkwardness. We all express this experience in different ways but for me, it's about our common humanity and connecting at this unifying level. The labels that divide us - race, creed, social status, etc. are secondary to our common humanity. Most of us practice this intuitively on the Camino and hopefully, it makes us better people when we return home.

@Viranani
Who I am is being formed by the Camino..

Beautifully expressed @Albertagirl - I hope that this is true for me too. I know that each Camino has helped me to clarify my own belief and ethical system, without rejection/judgement of the beliefs of others. I hope that I'm a more peaceful and tolerant person in my daily life, but this is definitely a work in progress! On a very practical level, the Camino has reminded me of the healing and energising power of nature. I'm definitely more attuned to my own needs and those of others when I spend time outdoors on a regular basis.

I think if we come to the camino and experience its precious magic of unification, but then go home and turn a blind eye to division, separation, road rage, racism, gratuitous name calling, you name it...whatever...we have lost a precious opportunity.

That's the challenge, isn't it? Why is it so hard to hold onto the unifying spirit when we return to the 'real world'? I think we can only hold onto that spirit if we actively choose to live it, especially in divided societies and in a rising tide of intolerance. For me, that means speaking up and challenging unfairness and inequality. It means trying in a small way to show that there are different ways of seeing the world. I've done voluntary work in this area for over 20 years and the Camino has been a big factor in helping me to continue this work, despite feeling a little burnt-out in recent times. Yet another gift from the Camino!

Peace and love to all, especially on this day when we remember the human cost of war and conflict.

 

[VNwalking]

That's the challenge, isn't it? Why is it so hard to hold onto the unifying spirit when we return to the 'real world'? I think we can only hold onto that spirit if we actively choose to live it, especially in divided societies and in a rising tide of intolerance. For me, that means speaking up and challenging unfairness and inequality. It means trying in a small way to show that there are different ways of seeing the world. I've done voluntary work in this area over 20 years and the Camino has been a big factor in helping me to continue this work

That's the sort of thing I was wondering, Nuala. We have to make the choice. So how can we actively take the gifts of the Camino home, and what does that look like? Because if we as human beings can't find a way to do this more and more, we're toast.

 

[NualaOC]

That's the sort of thing I was wondering, Nuala. We have to make the choice. So how can we actively take the gifts of the Camino home, and what does that look like? Because if we as human beings can't find a way to do this more and more, we're toast.

I suppose it means doing, as well as thinking. 'Be the change you wish to see in the world.'

I'd love to hear other views and experiences of this.

 

[VNwalking]

I suppose it means doing, as well as thinking. 'Be the change you wish to see in the world.'
I'd love to hear other views and experiences of this.

Me too--and 'out of the box' ideas about how to spread harmony rather than divisiveness.

 

[linkster]

Every morning I get up let my dog Buddy out and feed him. I then have an espresso while I read at my desk in my office. My dog Buddy is laying on the floor next to my desk. Here is a hyperlink to the best commercial I saw during our contentious campaign here in the US, A Vote for Good. It does not support any political view, and I thought it was a clever "out of the box" way to promote respect for each other regardless of our POV.

 

[VNwalking]

All you dog-owning peregrinos out here have immediate goodwill ambassadors! Bring your dog and there is connection. And once people talk, the walls can come down.
Wow, good one, @linkster. Thank you.

 

[SYates]

No matter what @Viranani says (whose input I really cherish nearly every time she posts!) Do NOT bring your dog - for the benefit of - your dog! Buen Camino, SY

 

[TaijiPilgrim]

I had a wonderful experience on the Camino in March this year, after I happened to be staying at the albergue in Rabe with a devoutly Catholic family from Alaska. We'd had a lively heartfelt discussion that night, and the next day walked to Hontanas together in a driving sleet storm. There was such a powerful sense of connection and commonality among us all--one that included our many differences in views and opinions about things of the world rather than denying them. As far as the world went, we couldn't have been more different--but it really didn't matter. We were pilgrims in the freezing wind and we took care of each other with genuine care, kindness, and respect.

So it is here on the forum. Given the wide variety of avatars, I'm willing to bet that there's huge diversity here, of ages, genders, political views, ideas of what 'fun' is...whatever. And yet, by and large, we're a remarkably kind and respectful and helpful bunch. Even when we disagree, there's a foundation of care and mutual dependence. We're all in the same pilgrim boat.

Yes, we have a wonderful group of very good and patient and vigilant mods, and rules about where not to go...but...it works, I think, in large part because the spirit of the Camino holds us here just as it does out there.

Today, the question in my mind given everything is how can we as peregrinos and peregrinas bring this attitude to where we live, and use it as a tool to bridge the widening gaps in our communities and countries?

All over the world there's a crescendo of nastiness coming from all sides--anger, name calling, demonizing each other. The more it happens, the more we do it--it's a horrible feedback loop. But can we pilgrims somehow harness the togetherness that comes from long walking to help put the brakes on this? What are we going do about it?

I have no idea. But if we can do this in Spain and here on the forum, we should be able to bring it home. We can all connect, and model the kindness that comes from that. Once people meet 'the other,' and see 'them' at a heart level, separation and any '-ism' that results becomes impossible.

Our world needs us to try something different...and much is at stake.

As I was walking my first time on the Camino Frances in 2011, I thought that every candidate for president (I'm a US citizen) should be required to walk the camino - as we regular pilgrims do with only our packs and ourselves. I felt that then and still feel that now. Since it is unlikely to happen, I would suggest that we take the lessons we learned on the camino and try to benefit from them in our daily lives. From the smallest of streams rise rivers and from rivers flow oceans. May Peace prevail on Earth.

 

[VNwalking]

No matter what @Viranani says do NOT bring your dog - for the benefit of - your dog! Buen Camino, SY

Sorry, I should have been clearer--we're talking about what happens at HOME.
Bring your dog if you're at home and want to find common ground with someone on the opposite side of a divide from you, but please DON'T bring him or her on the camino (with the possible exception of a service dog)!
(And thank you for the very kind words, SY......)

 

[Wokabaut_Meri]

All over the world there's a crescendo of nastiness coming from all sides--anger, name calling, demonizing each other. The more it happens, the more we do it--it's a horrible feedback loop. But can we pilgrims somehow harness the togetherness that comes from long walking to help put the brakes on this? What are we going do about it?

I have no idea. But if we can do this in Spain and here on the forum, we should be able to bring it home. We can all connect, and model the kindness that comes from that. Once people meet 'the other,' and see 'them' at a heart level, separation and any '-ism' that results becomes impossible.

Our world needs us to try something different...and much is at stake.

Reading your post takes me back to the 1970s and my well spent youth - sigh.... we thought that we could change the world and gave it our very best try I walked a lot of protest marches and drew a lot of signs. The world changed but it was moving anyway and I realised that the only true change that I could affect was mySelf. Something that has been quoted in many articles recently from Martin Luther King is a good adage to navigate these seemingly hard times by:
If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.

Do not lose heart. The crescendo of nastiness that you're hearing comes in response to people's sense of powerlessness. If we are to build a better society and in turn a better world, we need to include everyone in that vision. I've been really ill this past week and had much time to ponder life, the universe and everything lying in bed and listening to Leonard Cohen's last album. His song Treaty speaks of signing a treaty between your love and mine.

Also Life is never how it appears. Who can tell what the outcome of this week's events will be. Maybe good, maybe bad. We'll see. In the meantime we just keep on doing whatever kindness we can.

@Albertagirl is already leading the Way!

@Viranani, my personal observation is that, on the camino, the issues that divide people can become less important than the objectives that are shared. This results in the latter being able to unify pilgrims, at least for the duration of their pilgrimage. Afterwards, when those shared objectives are more remote, their unifying power wanes. It can be brought home, but my feeling is only in places like this forum, friends associations and the like. And there are plenty of opportunities of that nature where we can continue to contribute.

Valid point @dougfitz yet the unification is always there bubbling away under the surface and rising up again in times of tragedy and disaster. We tend to come together best in difficult times such as bushfires or our recent floods. Once again, your point about the objectives that we share does explain this - an outcome that depends on others and is impossible to accomplish on our own. Just as on the Camino everyday problems fall away and we look to what is important and look to each other knowing that, even as we give, we too will one day need help.

 

[VNwalking]

If we are to build a better society and in turn a better world, we need to include everyone in that vision.

Exactly why I posed the question, because we desperately need to build bridges of human connection in this world--without anyone needing to change anyone else's mind.

In the worst of times our opinions views are so easily set aside in favor of helping each other--because we're responding directly to suffering. So if we could connect with the very real pain that others experience in the less dramatic grind of everyday life--and our common hopes and fears--I think it'd be impossible to keep yelling at each other.

I loved that video that @linkster posted...everyone could relate to the relatively small pain of losing a dog--and then they easily remembered how to be kind to each other. But the bigger kinds of pain that drive people (on all sides) to act out anger in the public arena? For some reason that's much harder to open to--and we need to learn how, or the world will become ever more balkanized.

(You have a very good point, Meri, about the only thing any of us has the ability to directly change our own heart's response to the world...and...when we do that there is a natural reaching out to each other out of kindness and compassion. In in doing that we can affect change.)

 

[Wokabaut_Meri]

But the bigger kinds of pain that drive people (on all sides) to act out anger in the public arena? For some reason that's much harder to open to--and we need to learn how, or the world will become ever more balkanized.

I know this pain and anger well. My parents were both refugees from Eastern Europe who fought for their homeland with the British forces. The trauma and dispossession of the war never left them and affected their lives even after emigrating to Australia from England. My father was a very angry man and remained so until his death at 89. Tragic really but the huge injustice that life had dealt him was a blow that he never recovered from. It drove him from his church, his countrymen and any chance of happiness. It was a force that had a tragic life of its own.

He tried to instil this anger in his children. All that he managed instead was to establish a strong sense of justice and stewardship for the oppressed and disadvantaged and a profound spirituality.

Perhaps we cannot easily solve these bigger kinds of pains but with education and opportunity, provide the options of other pathways... but they will still be the paths less taken.

 

[Albertagirl]

Exactly why I posed the question, because we desperately need to build bridges of human connection in this world--without anyone needing to change anyone else's mind

(You have a very good point, Meri, about the only thing any of us has the ability to directly change our own heart's response to the world...and...when we do that there is a natural reaching out to each other out of kindness and compassion. In in doing that we can affect change.)

@Viranani
I cannot agree that I can change my own heart's response to the world, because in most of a lifetime of trying to be more open-hearted and generous, less selfish and bad-tempered, I have had very minimal success, except in the occasional effort not to say those harsh or irritable words, or to turn back and be generous to the beggar whose request I have brusquely refused.
This is why the Camino is so important to me. Because in responding to the needs of those around me I can, at least sometimes, reach out genuinely and even generously to others.
Today, I found myself asking a beggar how he was doing. I didn't give him any money, but I looked at him as a person. This is a gift to me and maybe a small beginning in responding open-heartedly to the needy around me. But it was made very clear to me on the Camino which I just finished that this is not my doing, but my receiving. As a Christian, I see this as a gift of Jesus to me and through me. I simply cannot say it in other than religious terms. I was assured on my recent Camino that I cannot do this, but Jesus will act for good through me. What a relief. I was getting really tired of trying to do it on my own. Blessings to all who are open channels of good.
Mary Louise

 

[VNwalking]

Wow, @Albertagirl, you went deep...such a lovely post. Thank you.
We probably aren't are so very different, actually.
I certainly agree that it's impossible to change ourselves by force--totally impossible.

The little "I" can't do anything deeply transformative--because that's usually just resistance and ego, neither of which go anywhere particularly useful. But when we step aside and surrender to where we are and to what is happening with a gracious acceptance, and know that...all sorts of things can shift. By themselves if we're Buddhist, through Jesus if we're Christian, or...(I don't know how if we're pagan...but no doubt there's a similar lack of 'small-I' agency there, too.) The differences are more a matter of language and how we hold the process than of substance--@David and I have had some wonderful interfaith rambles together in PM space talking about this.

This is PM territory, because it begins to edge towards 'religious' (sorry mods...) so I'm happy to continue a discussion there if you like. Or not.

Whatever, I rejoice in the blessings that you receive on the Camino--and in the way that you're bringing them back home with such a heartfelt way. Beautiful...

 

[MichaelB10398]

To me it comes down to conscious priorities. On Camino pilgrims share a high degree of uniformity in thought - we are on pilgrimage. As a result our hearts are softened, our minds are more open, we are listening more. In many ways we are being sources of peace. That is something that I have tried to learn during my life yet still struggle to maintain that conscious thought.

In Christian teachings there is the parable of Jesus sitting in the temple as the Pharisees brought before him a woman taken in sin. Their question was short, concise - the law of Moses tells us to stone this woman - what say you? Most of us are often like the Pharisees in that we first seek to condemn others for their actions, way of life, choices, etc. Jesus' response was to quietly prick their hearts by telling them that the one among them without sin should cast the first stone. I love this teaching because his first action, words, thoughts was not to condemn or attach the sinner, but to demonstrate love first. There was no judgement on his part - his focus was on the individual. He rejects the sin - go and sin no more - but the sin is not what is most important.

In our daily lives, as on Camino, if we can learn to put aside our judgments of others and all of our condemnations and choose first to love them, respect them, kindly accept them as they are we become greater sources of peace in our relationships, our communities, and our world. We should remember that the sins of others is not our business or concern. Sin is first and foremost a personal issue and should remain between the individual and their God.

This way of thinking is not unique to Christianity, but is found in many of the great religions of the world. We can choose to first accept others as they are and treat them respectfully as Albertagirl did with a poor person she met begging. We so often overlook those we judge as unclean, unhealthy, different, or bad.

I absolutely agree with TaijiPilgrim above - not just with every president, but every politician - should have to walk the Camino for an entire month before taking office.

 

[VNwalking]

I absolutely agree with TaijiPilgrim above - not just with every president, but every politician - should have to walk the Camino for an entire month before taking office.

This actually made me giggle out loud. Can you imagine the current crop all together in an albergue? (Really, really not wanting this thread to end up getting locked down, so we should leave it at that--but it is a delicious thought.)