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Atonement? Is that what it’s about?

Lexicos

Veteran Member
Time of past OR future Camino
2017 Camino Frances,
2019 C. Portuguese (inland).
I guess we’ve all made mistakes in life. I’m sure too that at some point we’ve all hurt someone whom we love very much. Life demands so much from us, ever so much and it’s inevitable that we will make some terrible mistakes along the way, usually in our earlier years, when the world is still a great big mystery.

The Camino, for me, is my way of seeking atonement and forgiveness for my mistakes, and God knows, I have made many and yes, like everyone else, I have caused pain and grief to those whom I love and who love me the most.

I need to find some small measure of peace.

Tell me that I am not alone. Isn’t that one of the big reasons for many of us doing the Camino?
 
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@Lexico, I can't say I am with you on this, although there may be others that are. I don't see the journey as penance as much as it is a time to reflect on what my life might mean. I see it as a forward looking search for meaning, perhaps one that is spiritually enlightening, perhaps a little reflective but not specifically so.
 
I agree with Doug on this. I never much thought about why I wanted to do it only that I did. During the journey I did remember and reflect on people I had hurt during my life but my brother who had joined me for the journey told me not to dwell on it, he said if you can fix it do, if you can't move on and try to be better.
That's how you atone.
 
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We are all complex beings and, yes, many of us will have caused pain to others, sometimes not even realising what we have done. One of the characteristics of modern life is that we frequently don't deal with our past; we prefer to brush things under our mental carpet and "press on" - I know that is certainly my attitude.

The Camino gives space to think, reflect and come to terms with issues. I have met many pilgrims and their reasons for doing the Camino. I've met people wanting to lose weight and people wanting to find God. People wanting to enjoy a 500 mile long social gathering and people wanting to find space and silence. People getting away from a bad relationship and people, yes, looking for some kind of absolution. The cairn at the Cruz de Ferro is big for a reason.

I didn't know what to expect on my first camino; I went with an open mind to see what happened in a spirit of adventure. Actually I found peace in a way I never anticipated. You're absolutely not alone.
 
Hola @Lexicos In my very humble opinion there are just about as many reasons for walking the Camino as there are pilgrims walking it (or all of them). Going back 800/1000 years walking the Camino to Santiago and back to ones home village earned one an "indulgence" (or time off from the period in purgatory before entry into Heaven). Today's pilgrims have many other reasons for walking; if you feel you are in need of atonement then that is between you and your "confessor" (or God). If you are a practicing Catholic you may wish to visit the Cathedral and avail yourself of one of the many priests (very many languages are available). Buen Camino, and I pray you find what you are looking for.
 
I often find myself having a hard time with this. And what worked for me was learning to forgive others, really forgive so it does not weigh on my mind anymore. There's a lot of freedom in that. Especially because you learn to forgive yourself too.

I don't know why I walked the Camino last year, but I was really drawn to it and still am. I definitely found peace, and I'm looking forward to that again.
 
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The early Irish Church wrote alot about sin and penance, but one particular aspect was that sin was like sickness it needed treatment. For some I suspect the camino is that, a treatment for something that needs remedied, to allow time to address a problem, to reflect and to find grace.
There is a spiritual element to walking the camino that so many people discover in some way. For some it may be atonement, others a letting go, a fresh chapter, refreshment, new life perspective etc. For some it is a treatment to deal with effects of the craziness of modern life. (I definitely take it as tonic to manage a busy stressful life!)
 
I guess we’ve all made mistakes in life. I’m sure too that at some point we’ve all hurt someone whom we love very much. Life demands so much from us, ever so much and it’s inevitable that we will make some terrible mistakes along the way, usually in our earlier years, when the world is still a great big mystery.

The Camino, for me, is my way of seeking atonement and forgiveness for my mistakes, and God knows, I have made many and yes, like everyone else, I have caused pain and grief to those whom I love and who love me the most.

I need to find some small measure of peace.

Tell me that I am not alone. Isn’t that one of the big reasons for many of us doing the Camino?
I need to find some small measure of peace.
Alone? On this forum? Not likely!
Whether or not it is a big reason for anyone else is not for you, @Lexicos. Your business is yours. Your trust in sharing your question is what shows you that others see and hear you. Just take yourself off to your camino, and it might be useful to do what I did a long time ago with the word atonement. I made it sound different by inserting a hyphen: at-onement. Perhaps that shift in focus will help you to find that peace you are looking for. Buen camino! 👣
 
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I also agree with Doug, I had no clear, overriding reason for doing the Camino, certainly several contributing factors. As a former (in my younger days) ultra-marathon runner and after a heart attack and bypass surgery, the physical challenge at age 69 was a big goal. The need for quiet, solitude, the need to think, reflect, explore unanswered questions and connect with history were others. I did find peace, some spiritual experiences when I felt closer to God than ever before and a lightness of being. I am glad I did it and will be back for another journey when the current crazy world returns to normal. I think one finds what one needs on the Camino, not necessarily what one expects.
 
I guess we’ve all made mistakes in life. I’m sure too that at some point we’ve all hurt someone whom we love very much. Life demands so much from us, ever so much and it’s inevitable that we will make some terrible mistakes along the way, usually in our earlier years, when the world is still a great big mystery.

The Camino, for me, is my way of seeking atonement and forgiveness for my mistakes, and God knows, I have made many and yes, like everyone else, I have caused pain and grief to those whom I love and who love me the most.

I need to find some small measure of peace.

Tell me that I am not alone. Isn’t that one of the big reasons for many of us doing the Camino?

I suppose it is different for everyone, but I can say, one good thing to be mindful of if you are seeking atonement, is to also seek to forgive yourself, if you can. I wish you so much love and kindness during your Camino.

Edit: I didn't say why I am doing my Camino - I personally am doing it to grieve the loss of my soulmate and to meditate.
 
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I guess we’ve all made mistakes in life. I’m sure too that at some point we’ve all hurt someone whom we love very much. Life demands so much from us, ever so much and it’s inevitable that we will make some terrible mistakes along the way, usually in our earlier years, when the world is still a great big mystery.

The Camino, for me, is my way of seeking atonement and forgiveness for my mistakes, and God knows, I have made many and yes, like everyone else, I have caused pain and grief to those whom I love and who love me the most.

I need to find some small measure of peace.

Tell me that I am not alone. Isn’t that one of the big reasons for many of us doing the Camino?
You are not alone, and you got this - walk on and make apologies where needed.
 
The Camino, for me, is my way of seeking atonement and forgiveness for my mistakes, and God knows, I have made many and yes, like everyone else, I have caused pain and grief to those whom I love and who love me the most.

I need to find some small measure of peace.
HI lexco,

You have walked several caminos? Have these brought you a sense of lasting peace??


Have you been able to express the mistakes you have made to those you have hurt?

I offer you these reflections from Joan Chittister, OSB…a Benedictine Sister from Erie, PA. From The Monastic Way 2021 On healthy guilt….

The first sign of healthy guilt is that we never feel guilty for the wrong things. Guilt always has something to do with failing to recognize my creaturehood or hurting someone else. Think of the ten commandments: the first three have to do with recognizing that God is God and not making ourselves the center of the universe; the next seven have to do with doing harm to others. As in “love God; love the other.” Simple. Nothing else counts. Not really. The question that measures guilt is always, Who was harmed?


The second sign of healthy guilt is that it is not exaggerated. Spiritual vision is the ability to see things as they are. Some of our struggles are serious; some of them are not. Some of our moral arm wrestling matches of life are long-standing and need to be uprooted; some of them are only momentary breakdowns in an otherwise well-ordered soul.

The third sign of healthy guilt is that we do something about it and put the situation behind us. The purpose of guilt always is simply to enable us to recognize the pitfalls of the present so that we can do better the next time, not to wallow in the past.


Your expression of pain does focuses on relationships. Perhaps there might be away to seek amends or forgiveness from those you may have injured…if you haven’t done so already?

Sometimes relationships are not repairable, but attempting to make things right is a first step. Sometimes there can not be resolution in a particular relationship, or situation, but we can strive to learn from our mistakes. I do not know your religious orientation, but it might be helpful to speak with a spiritual director or a counselor to guide you on this life journey.
 
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I am sure, Lexicos, that you will find that walking on a Camino will go a long way towards bringing you a very worthwhile measure of peace and fulfilment. The reasons that you give certainly seem to point in that direction. Best wishes and buen Camino. Tom
 
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I guess we’ve all made mistakes in life. I’m sure too that at some point we’ve all hurt someone whom we love very much. Life demands so much from us, ever so much and it’s inevitable that we will make some terrible mistakes along the way, usually in our earlier years, when the world is still a great big mystery.

The Camino, for me, is my way of seeking atonement and forgiveness for my mistakes, and God knows, I have made many and yes, like everyone else, I have caused pain and grief to those whom I love and who love me the most.

I need to find some small measure of peace.

Tell me that I am not alone. Isn’t that one of the big reasons for many of us doing the Camino?
While my wife and I walked the camino for two reasons -- to get to know each other better in our new lives as empty nesters and to give thanks for all the blessings we had received -- one of the first fellow walkers we came to know well throughout our walk divulged her secret one morning well along the camino when we were having coffee. She was from a northern European country, was a fraternal twin of her brother in a family with a severely abusive father, escaped as a teen, went to Switzerland and was a prostitute for years. She made enough money to return to her country and open a shop. She eventually married and has four children. She was walking the camino to atone for the abandonment of her brother who eventually committed suicide. Despite having a good life now, she could not rid herself of the guilt she felt. She like us, carried a stone to leave at Cruz Ferro. That wasn't enough for her. After praying at the cathedral in Santiago, we walked on to Finisterre, where she burned the black outfit she had worn every day on the camino. We could see her heavy burden go up to the sky. She was ready to return. She had atoned.
 
I guess we’ve all made mistakes in life. I’m sure too that at some point we’ve all hurt someone whom we love very much. Life demands so much from us, ever so much and it’s inevitable that we will make some terrible mistakes along the way, usually in our earlier years, when the world is still a great big mystery.

The Camino, for me, is my way of seeking atonement and forgiveness for my mistakes, and God knows, I have made many and yes, like everyone else, I have caused pain and grief to those whom I love and who love me the most.

I need to find some small measure of peace.

Tell me that I am not alone. Isn’t that one of the big reasons for many of us doing the Camino?
Personally for me it's about time with myself, meditating whilst walking. Making life changing decisions and yes atonement to some extent. It's a voyage of discovery both mentally, spiritually and physically.

I have walked many Camino's and everyone has allowed me to grow and discover my Spiritual self.
 
I guess we’ve all made mistakes in life. I’m sure too that at some point we’ve all hurt someone whom we love very much. Life demands so much from us, ever so much and it’s inevitable that we will make some terrible mistakes along the way, usually in our earlier years, when the world is still a great big mystery.

The Camino, for me, is my way of seeking atonement and forgiveness for my mistakes, and God knows, I have made many and yes, like everyone else, I have caused pain and grief to those whom I love and who love me the most.

I need to find some small measure of peace.

Tell me that I am not alone. Isn’t that one of the big reasons for many of us doing the Camino?
Indeed, it is pilgrim...1647280697604.webp
 
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I guess we’ve all made mistakes in life. I’m sure too that at some point we’ve all hurt someone whom we love very much. Life demands so much from us, ever so much and it’s inevitable that we will make some terrible mistakes along the way, usually in our earlier years, when the world is still a great big mystery.

The Camino, for me, is my way of seeking atonement and forgiveness for my mistakes, and God knows, I have made many and yes, like everyone else, I have caused pain and grief to those whom I love and who love me the most.

I need to find some small measure of peace.

Tell me that I am not alone. Isn’t that one of the big reasons for many of us doing the Camino?
You're not alone - not by a long way
 
Atonement is correcting a wrong that you've done; trying to make things right. It is done without any expectation of forgiveness. One can seek forgiveness by asking, but the willingness to atone for a wrong should not be conditioned on forgiveness being extended.

To me, the Camino is where we have the time and space which allows a mindset that is open to contemplate our past actions; this can help us to contemplate the wrongs we have done, and then clarify what must be done to atone for those wrongs.

Walking a Camino, itself, is not an atonement, but perhaps it can be the mechanism for us to commit our actions to making amends.
 
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In a religious or purely spiritual context, walking a Camino can indeed amount to atonement. This is an important historical element of the Camino. Of course, reparation for a wrong is also an extremely important element of atonement in our everyday lives. I would say that Lexocos is on the right track in setting out on a Camino. Reparation, if possible, may be for another day. Tom
 
In a religious or purely spiritual context, walking a Camino can indeed amount to atonement. This is an important historical element of the Camino. Of course, reparation for a wrong is also an extremely important element of atonement in our everyday lives. I would say that Lexocos is on the right track in setting out on a Camino. Reparation, if possible, may be for another day. Tom

Of course you are correct in the theological sense of the meaning which is how one may spiritually reconcile themselves with God. When I responded, it was to the OP referring to mistakes we make in life, correcting them, and seeking forgiveness.
 
Yes, I did understand and appreciate what you meant, Davebugg. I merely wished to suggest a further dimension, which I thought might be helpful. Best wishes, Tom
 
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I guess we’ve all made mistakes in life. I’m sure too that at some point we’ve all hurt someone whom we love very much. Life demands so much from us, ever so much and it’s inevitable that we will make some terrible mistakes along the way, usually in our earlier years, when the world is still a great big mystery.

The Camino, for me, is my way of seeking atonement and forgiveness for my mistakes, and God knows, I have made many and yes, like everyone else, I have caused pain and grief to those whom I love and who love me the most.

I need to find some small measure of peace.

Tell me that I am not alone. Isn’t that one of the big reasons for many of us doing the Camino?
For me, it's a long walk. Period.
 
"Atonement" and "penance" are very unfashionable. A lot of high-minded people seem to feel they're neurosis symptoms, weird, icky "private religious matters" best kept to yourself.
I have been comtemplating the question of pilgrimage and penance for a while now, and I gotta say the camino is chock full of suffering, cries of anguish, death, getting lost, soul-searching, guilt, losing your pride, and repenting (another appalling concept!). Walking hundreds of kilometers tends to make you hurt. Pain and suffering and frustration bring you to the end of yourself, where you realize you're not in control at all and you throw yourself on to grace...
And grace (aka "un-merited favor") swoops in and catches you. You survive, you thrive, and you stop obsessing about your Self and start considering the suffering of others around you.
People like to call it "camino magic," or "the Camino provides," or other fairy-dust kinds of Ideals. But Grace is all over the place, all the time. It's not a Camino phenomenon, but a whole lot of people only step away from the controls while they're on the Way, so that Grace becomes attached to the place where you feel it most clearly.
Lots of "regular folks" look at pilgrims and wonder why the heck perfectly sane, healthy people willingly subject themselves to this medieval masochism, over and over. IMHO, it's the grace, the fellowship, and the clarity you find on the other side of suffering... stuff that happens so clearly on the camino, and is harder to feel at home where the whole world is geared to convenience, comfort, and stopping all pain before it happens.
 
"Atonement" and "penance" are very unfashionable. A lot of high-minded people seem to feel they're neurosis symptoms, weird, icky "private religious matters" best kept to yourself.
I have been comtemplating the question of pilgrimage and penance for a while now, and I gotta say the camino is chock full of suffering, cries of anguish, death, getting lost, soul-searching, guilt, losing your pride, and repenting (another appalling concept!). Walking hundreds of kilometers tends to make you hurt. Pain and suffering and frustration bring you to the end of yourself, where you realize you're not in control at all and you throw yourself on to grace...
And grace (aka "un-merited favor") swoops in and catches you. You survive, you thrive, and you stop obsessing about your Self and start considering the suffering of others around you.
People like to call it "camino magic," or "the Camino provides," or other fairy-dust kinds of Ideals. But Grace is all over the place, all the time. It's not a Camino phenomenon, but a whole lot of people only step away from the controls while they're on the Way, so that Grace becomes attached to the place where you feel it most clearly.
Lots of "regular folks" look at pilgrims and wonder why the heck perfectly sane, healthy people willingly subject themselves to this medieval masochism, over and over. IMHO, it's the grace, the fellowship, and the clarity you find on the other side of suffering... stuff that happens so clearly on the camino, and is harder to feel at home where the whole world is geared to convenience, comfort, and stopping all pain before it happens.
Grace. Yes. Thank You Rebekah.
 
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I guess we’ve all made mistakes in life. I’m sure too that at some point we’ve all hurt someone whom we love very much. Life demands so much from us, ever so much and it’s inevitable that we will make some terrible mistakes along the way, usually in our earlier years, when the world is still a great big mystery.

The Camino, for me, is my way of seeking atonement and forgiveness for my mistakes, and God knows, I have made many and yes, like everyone else, I have caused pain and grief to those whom I love and who love me the most.

I need to find some small measure of peace.

Tell me that I am not alone. Isn’t that one of the big reasons for many of us doing the Camino?
I get what you mean by that. Antonment as in seeking forgiveness, not just from God but from yourself. It’s a coming to terms with what you carry. I think the Camino will have that for you, if that’s where you want to go. I hope that I can find that point before/during/after the Camino as well.
 
The most effective way to atone is to make, or at least genuinely attempt to make, amends to those you feel you may have harmed.
The Camino will not do that for you although it may nudge you in that direction.
 
I am with you on this. All the peace, closeness to others, closeness to God, forgiveness toward others and toward myself, a deep awareness of my blessings and the gratitude that comes after, the feeling of Grace, all that can come with atonement. One and the same process, I think. Buen Camino. I travel for the same reason, and to share the Camino with my husband.
 
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@Lexico, I can't say I am with you on this, although there may be others that are. I don't see the journey as penance as much as it is a time to reflect on what my life might mean. I see it as a forward looking search for meaning, perhaps one that is spiritually enlightening, perhaps a little reflective but not specifically so.
"...a forward looking search for meaning..." I very much like how that is phrased. Always been seeking "meaning," but I'm walking in October for the first time on a forward looking search, I guess.
 
I guess we’ve all made mistakes in life. I’m sure too that at some point we’ve all hurt someone whom we love very much. Life demands so much from us, ever so much and it’s inevitable that we will make some terrible mistakes along the way, usually in our earlier years, when the world is still a great big mystery.

The Camino, for me, is my way of seeking atonement and forgiveness for my mistakes, and God knows, I have made many and yes, like everyone else, I have caused pain and grief to those whom I love and who love me the most.

I need to find some small measure of peace.

Tell me that I am not alone. Isn’t that one of the big reasons for many of us doing the Camino?
Thank you for starting this thread, @Lexicos. Thanks everyone who has written on this thread. I'll be walking my first Camino in October 2022. I've got a lot on my mind, a lot I hope to let go of. (At the same time, I want to check my expectations... not an easy thing for me... and trust that something powerful and true - whatever it is - will transpire.)
 
Thank you for starting this thread, @Lexicos. Thanks everyone who has written on this thread. I'll be walking my first Camino in October 2022. I've got a lot on my mind, a lot I hope to let go of. (At the same time, I want to check my expectations... not an easy thing for me... and trust that something powerful and true - whatever it is - will transpire.)
It most likely will, as it does for most people. You can’t do something so out of the ordinary without getting something from it, and most often, something special that stays with you for a long time. Nonetheless go to it with an open mind and modest expectations.
 
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I guess we’ve all made mistakes in life. I’m sure too that at some point we’ve all hurt someone whom we love very much. Life demands so much from us, ever so much and it’s inevitable that we will make some terrible mistakes along the way, usually in our earlier years, when the world is still a great big mystery.

The Camino, for me, is my way of seeking atonement and forgiveness for my mistakes, and God knows, I have made many and yes, like everyone else, I have caused pain and grief to those whom I love and who love me the most.

I need to find some small measure of peace.

Tell me that I am not alone. Isn’t that one of the big reasons for many of us doing the Camino?
You guys sure suck all the enjoyment out of walking the Camino.
 
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You guys sure suck all the enjoyment out of walking the Camino.
How can someone else's sincere inner inquiry suck the joy out of your camino? It's nothing to do with you. If your joy is that fragile, you might consider some inner work of your own.

We all walk for our own reasons, and what people are expressing here is absolutely respectable - even if we can't relate.
 
@Lexicos, this is my second reply to your opening post. It is clear from almost every response that you are not alone. Not everyone agrees with you - so what is new in this beautiful world of ours? You have opened your heart. I will not quite do that, but I will say that one response has led me to use the ignore button. After a number of years on this forum, I have never before done that.
I value the breadth of acceptance and letting be that is evident in so very many responses in many threads. Every day is a school day and this is one place where I am frequently taught about kindness and generosity of spirit. Thanks for lighting that torch.
 
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Thank you kirkie, and to all for your replies. I take strength and comfort from what I have read. My post is as much about the human condition as it is about me. When we open our hearts and minds we realise just how much we have in common. As they say, what binds us is far greater than what divides us. The willingness to give is what makes the Camino so special. And some are ready to give more than others, more ready and willing to give more. It is this willingness to give that pulls me back to another Camino, another pilgrimage, and another long walk that temporarily takes one away from the craziness of this world of ours where suddenly, we can see nearly everything that goes on, good and bad. Sometimes that’s too much to bear. The simplicity of the Camino is an antidote to that. And I’ve yet to be disappointed. Not here, not in Portugal and not in Spain. Many of the replies above are a blessed reminder of what that means.
 
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Can you "walk a Camino" to forgiving yourself before you do the Camino ? Walking the Camino could be a way away and in the meantime you can be in a lot of turmoil. Perhaps the peace you want to feel is just a few "steps" away ?
 
Penance was certainly a big part of my first camino - in a very simple way. Without detracting from the seriousness of the OP's question, I had to do huge amounts of it to make up for all the unnecessary eating and drinking I've done all my life.
 
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"Atonement" and "penance" are very unfashionable. A lot of high-minded people seem to feel they're neurosis symptoms, weird, icky "private religious matters" best kept to yourself.
I have been comtemplating the question of pilgrimage and penance for a while now, and I gotta say the camino is chock full of suffering, cries of anguish, death, getting lost, soul-searching, guilt, losing your pride, and repenting (another appalling concept!). Walking hundreds of kilometers tends to make you hurt. Pain and suffering and frustration bring you to the end of yourself, where you realize you're not in control at all and you throw yourself on to grace...
And grace (aka "un-merited favor") swoops in and catches you. You survive, you thrive, and you stop obsessing about your Self and start considering the suffering of others around you.
People like to call it "camino magic," or "the Camino provides," or other fairy-dust kinds of Ideals. But Grace is all over the place, all the time. It's not a Camino phenomenon, but a whole lot of people only step away from the controls while they're on the Way, so that Grace becomes attached to the place where you feel it most clearly.
Lots of "regular folks" look at pilgrims and wonder why the heck perfectly sane, healthy people willingly subject themselves to this medieval masochism, over and over. IMHO, it's the grace, the fellowship, and the clarity you find on the other side of suffering... stuff that happens so clearly on the camino, and is harder to feel at home where the whole world is geared to convenience, comfort, and stopping all pain before it happens.
Well Said.
 
I hope you find what your looking for as Rebekka said.."at the end of yourself"
The inner drive toward wanting to make up for very human shortcomings is a step toward an innate drive for wholeness,one..ness and its sincere wish for a clairity i think.

Empty your mortal vessel, let it dry out in the big empty and let forgiveness fill you fully and completely.
Then move onward and forward.

I found you will either be forgiven
Or not..
It is on them to extend the hand or not.

After that its for you to find forgiveness of and for yourself and to move on.
If that is atonment then that is a good.

If a desire of letting go of a toxicity by a sincere and earnest effort of mind and spirit while undergoing a journey..that is a good

These are one persons sincere thoughts.
I hope you find what your needing out there!
 
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It can be Lexicos. Years ago I had a conversation with a pilgrim and it eventually became clear to me that atonement was his fundamental reason for walking. He had killed a young 'enemy' soldier in a war decades earlier.
 
It can be Lexicos. Years ago I had a conversation with a pilgrim and it eventually became clear to me that atonement was his fundamental reason for walking. He had killed a young 'enemy' soldier in a war decades earlier.
Breaks your heart doesn’t it.
It’s a a terrible burden to carry.
I hope he found peace and atonement on his Camino. You would have been a part of his journey to that I’m sure.
 

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